30 Years of Motherhood: 30 Things My Children Have Taught Me #itwasmom

1. Children are like airlines tickets: No refunds.
2.  Children are like lawyers: Anything I say, can and will be used against me.
3. Children are like the mafia: They have ways of making you work for them.  Sometimes it will be unpleasant. Except that "going to the mattresses" rarely means "a nap for Mom".
4. Because of children, I developed bionic hearing.  I can hear my child's cry or laugh six aisles over in a grocery store.  And my ear drums have a direct connection to my heart.
5. I never thought I could stay up a full 24 or 36 hours without sleep, Motherhood has proved that I can.

6. The best sunrises of my life have come after a long sleepless night with a sick baby on my chest.
7. Don't let my mouth make promises, my butt can't keep.
8. Desitin cream isn't for diaper rash only--it's also great for Halloween make-up: vampires, oompa loompas,
ghosts and clown make-up.  Kids can apply it by themselves.  In April, right after you dress them up in their holiday best for family pictures.
9. I'm grateful that Pinterest was not around when I was a young mom. Only older moms may appreciate that statement.
10. Old School VCR's hold more than Video cassettes: cheese, pizza, toast, slices of roast beef, bologna, socks, and legos also fit perfectly well.
11. It's OK if my child wants to wear the same clothing item every day for two weeks or more. If CPS comes over, I can show them my kids' closet and dresser drawers full of clothing that my child refuses to wear.
12. Macaroni and Cheese can be a whole meal.
13. Cheerios. Best cereal on the planet:
14. Teenage young men and young women can multi-task better than most adults--when they're motivated.
15. Just like our Golden Retriever and Black Lab--my kids are happiest when they are worn out from playing outside.
16. Video games do not make children smarter, happier, or healthier.  
17. It is possible to get pink Pepto-Bismol out of the carpet in a vomit-fest, but not Sweet n Sour sauce.

18. Dad's Northface windjacket hood can hold 3 cups of  a 3 yr old's vomit.
19. Being picked up from school in the middle of the day is a Miracle-cure for stomach aches.
20. Boys are NOT easier than girls to raise--different, but not easier.
21. Teenage young men eat as much as three grown men, only faster.  See "17 Again":



22. This commercial from 1986 is still relevant today:


23. I'm a Happier Mom when I get enough sleep. Best advice I ever got as a new mom was to sleep when baby sleeps. 
24.  Noone likes a cranky Mom.  
25.  Yelling is not an effective way to discipline children. It's annoying. And it's not pretty. It can age you and the side-effects are ugly too.  
26.  Dancing in the Kitchen is a great family tradition.
27. A sense of humor has saved many meals, many owies, hurts, and relationships.The sound of laughter is the best sound in the house.
28. Loving unconditionally is worth whatever it costs. It should not be confused with co-dependency though.
29. I have acquired the ability to love and forgive my self, which has enabled me to love and forgive my children. This is a gift.
30. My best moments are when my children do good for themselves and others.

For all the Moms out there: