Saturday, March 4, 2017

Happy I HATE MOM Day!

In honor of I HATE MOM DAY:
Ways That I am the Meanest Mom:
·         I made David Scott wear his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pjs to school when he was in kindergarten because he wouldn’t get ready for school on time.
·         I didn’t run the kids’ lunchboxes to school every time they forgot them, so they had many pb&j samiches from the nice lunchroom ladies on those days.
·         I made them all do the dishes.  Multiple times.  Over many years.  Enough dishes to feed an army of people—at the height of our “Familyhood” there were 9 people eating every meal together.  That’s a lot of dishes.
·         They all had chores—taking out the trash, doing their own laundry, making their beds, washing windows, bathrooms, dusting, vacuuming, mopping, sweeping—I made them all learn how to do it and Saturday was a busy day!
·         I also didn’t run forgotten math books, spelling binders, tennis shoes, etc to school every time they forgot them at home.  Sometimes I did.  But not often.
·         I didn’t care what their friends’ moms’ rules were…my house, my rules.
·         My kids wore handmedowns—we didn’t do Name Brand clothing unless it was on Clearance
·         Everyone had to share nearly everything in the house, unless it was Valentine’s or Halloween candy.
·         I made the kids walk to school in the heat and in the snow, over many years, uphill both directions.
·         One time I made David Scott walk home from school (he normally rode the bus), after a school detention, in Arizona. He had to cross a large desert field in the heat of the afternoon.  He said he liked the walk, but I don’t recall him earning another detention that year.
·         I made them Observe the Sabbath which meant attending Church every week for three hours, No playdates or birthday parties, No going out to eat, or shopping, no Sporting events on Sundays. Sundays were spent at home with family—sometimes whiney babies, whiney teens and even whiney mom and dad.  And Naps.  Glorious Sunday naps.
·         I made my kids apologize when they hurt one another, “I’m sorry. I will never do it again.”
·         I lectured them ‘til my brain hurt about the same darn things, over and over and over again.
·         I hid all of Dara’s favorite things in her room for a week when she wouldn’t stop taking others’ things without permission.  Oh, and I took the door off her bedroom when she kept slamming it.
·         I tracked my teens down, on foot, by phone or car when I didn’t know where they were.
·         I embarrassed my kids by telling them “NO” in front of their friends.
·         I made my teens introduce me to their friends and their dates…no one was allowed to just run off with complete strangers.
·         Curfew.  Those that needed it, had it. Those that didn’t, didn’t. (the guilty parties know who they are!)
·         We didn’t have Allowance.  It takes a family to take care of a family. I am not a personal maid or servant for all of these human beings.  Money was given when it was earned in other ways.
·         I never lied for them to their teachers—no, I won’t sign a form or make a call saying they were too sick to go to school or too sick to turn in homework, unless they really were.
·         I made them write Thank You notes for gifts and services from others before they could use the gift. 
·         I made them call their own doctors for appointments when they were teenagers.
·         I didn’t let them take phone calls after 8pm when we had landlines. They needed to rest up for the next day.
·         We didn’t buy our kids cars while they were in high school. They had to do that the summer after graduation—on their own. And had to work to pay for their insurance and gas.

I did all of this horrible stuff and MORE, with the hope that I’d raise kids into Responsible, Loving, Faithful adults.  Mistakes were made, tears were shed, bribes were offered—some were accepted, others rejected, apologies extended, compromises created, lines were drawn, feet were stomped, doors slammed, feelings hurt, lessons learned and love saved us all.  And I would do 99% of it all over again in a heartbeat.

Happy I HATE MOM Day!