I'm Good

I'm fine.
I'll share later.
Promise.

The one where I discover "Morphine"

Did you know that when you walk into the ER
and say
"I have shooting pains down my left arm."--
you get right in?

Yeah you do.

And you can scare the beans outta the Catscan tech
when you can't move your body or talk
right after being given
"morphine".

'tis true.

And did you know that if one of your children
calls his oldest sister
who lives far away
and tells her
"Mom's in the hospital but I don't know why."--
can trigger lots of emotions
and lost sleep for that sister?

Yep.
Good times here on this side of the Rockies.

Step-Parenting: A Blessing in our Family

When I got married at age 20,
I thought it would be like a Randy Travis song
"Forever and Ever, Amen."
I wasn't a fickle girl.
I made my choice and was "in it to win it".
I wanted to be his wife,
his friend,
his companion.

The problem was pretty simple
now that I see it some 29 years later:
he didn't want any of that.
And I'm not going to psycho-analyze him
all these years later-
sucha a waste of time and energy,
suffice to say,
I matured and decided to divorce the bumholio,
er, that guy.

I was going to be a single mom til the day I died,
the ex assured me of that
about two bazillion times.
Afterall, what kinda man would marry a woman
with five children--
one of which is special needs?
The list,
if there was a list,
was definitely short--
the odds were not in my favor.
But, whatever, ya know?
The truth is,
it's better to be alone
than to be abused.

In a truly tender mercy kinda way,
Heavenly Father brought Mr. Wonderful
in my life.
He was a grown-up.
Responsible in every way.
If he said he was going to do some-thing
any-thing,
he did it.
I could trust him in the little things
as well as in the big things.

And when he asked me to marry him,
I told him that I would,
but that he had to understand that in my life
he was going to be the "Caboose"--
my first responsibility was to my children
and if he would help me raise them
to be
responsible,
loving,
faithful
adults
I would love him forever and ever.

He agreed and we began the journey
into Step-parenting/Co-Parenting
my five children
and then added two more of our own
in the mix.

It's going on twelve years now,
and I can tell you,
it's better than I thought it could be,
but not as easy as I hoped.
In fact,
it's as much a work in progress
as any other relationship.

As I have watched my non-divorced friends
with their families,
I haveta say we came out pretty good,
comparably.
Mainly because relationships are built on
trust,
respect,
and the big -C: communication.
And guess what?
That's something EVERYONE has to work on.

Step-parents get a bad wrap because the expectations
coming into a broken home
are sometimes unrealistic.
We're looking for and need alot of healing
from the past broken relationship,
and lots of emotional "duct-tape" if you will...
so when a new "parent" steps UP
sometimes we forget that they too,
have things they're working on
and they're not perfectly prepared for
the myriad of expectations that lay ahead.

Parenting is alot of trial and error--
even when the kids are your own
"flesh and blood"--
and Step-Parents deserve credit for being willing
to try in the first place!

When Mr. W first joined our family,
the oldest was nearly 15...
teen years are difficult--
I don't care who you are!
Mr. W didn't always know how to handle
an angry or sometimes apathetic young man,
but I can tell you this,
he tried to do right by him.
The best compliment to this was when David Scott
was on his mission,
he sent home a letter to Mr. W and in it,
expressed his love and appreciation for all
Mr. W had done for him personally,
and for our family.

As each of the first five have come into maturity,
they've all handled themselves and US
differently--
just as any non-divorced family would expect.
It takes a while to figure out how to keep the channels
of communication open,
how to love them when they're not especially lovable,
and how to navigate through the rougher days and nights
that adolescents plough through.
It takes alot of patience and perseverance,
and LOVE.

Mr. W has a great capacity to stay calm when I am not.
There've been times when it was easier for the kids to go to him
and not to me;
when he's had to be the strong loving parent
when I was ready to burst in frustration.
And conversely,
he's done his best to support me when I needed his support.
I don't think the kids ever thought Mr. W wasn't in my corner.

They each have their own relationship with my husband.
Some call him "Dad" and some don't.
They all have their own nicknames for Mr. W.
But what matters is at the end of the day,
they know they can call on him at all
and he will answer that call.

He has been at every graduation,
every mission farewell and homecoming,
every Temple wedding,
and baby blessing
and he will continue to be there.
Cuz, as Diana says so sweetly,
"that's what being a parent is--
being there when they're needed."

In this day and age,
perhaps we can the change stigma that comes
from the likes of Cinderella's "wicked step-mother",
to a better understanding of the individuals that
STEP-UP to parenting children who need them?
Mother's Day is coming up,
followed quickly by Father's Day--
two very good opportunities to say
"Thank you."

So thank you, Mr. W. for helping me
raise our children into
responsible
loving
faithful
adults.
I love you
forever and ever amen.

Things That Inspire Me: Lists, Books and Give-O-Giveaways

It's a quiet morning here on this side of the Rockies.

The clouds are hanging so low

that the hillsides are hidden beneath them.

The house is quiet too,

after Spring Break everyone's back to school.

It's just me and the dog

and a small pile of laundry that's calling my name.

Since Nana left last week,

she's called daily to share her adventures with us.

Before she left,

we both sat down and created "The List"--

if you're a woman and you're reading this,

I know you made your own List when you were young,

right?

1. Sense of humor.

2. Honest.

3. Respectful.

and on and on it goes...

The List contains the finer points of character we want in a companion.

Nana wrote her own list years ago,

when she was just a teenager

but as she's changed, 

so has her List.

So we sat together, and I tapped out on the keys

while she dictated, 

then we printed it up in a smaller font

so she could fold that little paper up

and keep it close

as she goes out in the college scene dating world.

At 6:38 Saturday morning the phone rang

and I jumped outta bed knowing it was Nana!

You know, there should be a different ring tone

for Emergency calls,

and "Hey, Mom, I'm up early and just wanted to hear your voice"-calls.

Just saying.

After a few minutes,

she said she was out in her car,

reading "The List"--

because she'd been away from home just 24 hours

and a few young men were coming on pretty strong 

so much so

that she needed to sort them out, 

if you will.

What sort surprised me

was that some of these young men are well into their 20's-almost 30's--

Nana will be 21 next Fall.

Some 30 year old comes along,

and I wanna poke him in the eye 

or

ping him with a baseball bat!

Unless he's willing to sit through an hour or two

of interrogation--

then we can talk. lol

I digress...

so Nana had her list in her car

and was out there reading it

at six-thirty in the morning.

She's a small town girl

who doesn't wanna get her head turned

in the first twenty-four hours away from home.

So she's reading her list

and talking to her Mom.

At 6:38am.

I miss her.

More than pie.

Speaking of Lists,

Daisie is stepping up being Numero Uno around here.

Hey, she's #5 in the line-up,

but now that she's the oldest at home,

we all wondered how she'd handle it

and I must say,

I'm impressed!

While I have had to work,

she has made sure that I came home to a reasonably sane house--

dishes done,

clutter free,

cookies made,

and youngest yahoos still breathing.
And she made a list too--
a Chore List with just the 3 yahoos' names on it.
I really appreciated that.

She's really coming into her own.

It's actually inspiring.
*********************

Speaking of Inspiring--

I received two beautiful goodies from Deseret Book--

one is a CD by Josh Wright.
His CD arrived with this introduction:
"The twenty-two year-old performer has already proven himself elite in the world of classical music by competing in the prestigious Gina Bachauer International Artists Piano Competition, of which only 38 performers from around the world were invited to. Wright was one of five Americans to play."

I put it on while I was making dinner Saturday night

and we kept it on while eating dinner...

now, you know something is awesome when noone is talking over it!

Josh is classically trained to perfection--

his talent is obvious and lovely.

Some of his arrangements happen to include my 

ALL-TIME favorite songs--

Clair De Lune 

Homeward Bound--

so moving that I nearly dropped tears

into my salad!
He reminds me of William Joseph and Jon Schmidt.
You can go here to get acquainted and order  his CD.
Seriously, you'll want this in your music collection.
The music is timeless and beautiful.
Well done, Josh!

Hillary Weeks.

To know her is to love her.

If you don't know who she is,

you need to find out!

She used to live in Colorado

many moons ago,

and I met her thru a mutual friend 

when she was invited to perform in our Stake.
Hilary writes music about Christ as someone who knows Him.

Hillary is as lovely in person as she is on Stage.

If you've been to BYU's Women's Conference,

you've had the privilege of hearing her music,

her down-to-earth ruminations of Motherhood and cheerios.

So she's written a book--

a collection of what she calls

"The Simple Joys of a Mom's Life"

entitled

"Bedtime and Naptime and Bedtime and Naptime".

The cool thing about this book is that she has included 

a CD with it--

and it's way cute!

Sweet songs and tidbits about her "favorite things",

all of it inspiring and spot-on!

This is a book that you'll want to not only 

RECEIVE,

it's a book you'll want to

GIVE--

to your mom,

your sisters,

your girlfriends,
your daughters,

any gal in your circle of young mothers

that need to know they're not alone 

in the mountains of laundry,

sticky cheerios,

and wee hours of the night with a tiny baby.

Oh, and there are recipes!!

There's one in particular that I am gonna try

this next weekend,

called simply,

"The Cheese Dish".

Gotsta try it!

I have to thank Lois B. at Deseret Book for the opportunity
to enjoy these productions myself and to be able to SHARE them!

That's right, it's time for
Give-O-Give-Away!
To Enter:
Leave a comment about your favorite things!


Winners will be chosen randomly.
Deadline for entries is Friday, April 1st, 2011, midnight.
Easy peasy!

Taillights

Diana left us today,

headed to Provo, Utah

for her own awfully big adventure.

That's her little red convertible pulling away, right there.

 Before she got in that little red car,

we had a nice spaghetti dinner.

We all went around the table

giving her our "best advice":

The Caboose:  "Stay safe. Don't let anyone talk you into doing bad things."

 Boofus: Stay away from boys. 

(I paid him with jellybellies later.)  

(oh he was on his way to play air-soft guns with his buddies-lol)

 Daisie: (who couldn't smile for "Take One"--had to suck up the tears for "Take Two")

and this is a direct quote: "Don't be a Ho."  --thanks, Daisie. 

Your eloquence is inspiring.

Momza: (Puffy eyes-check; dark circles of worry-check)

"Do things that help you become the person you want to be."

Dad: "Have fun. Be grateful for the opportunities that will come your way."

 Then, it was her turn to give each of us

some "Going Away" Advice:

To Daisie: "Be wise. Be wise at home. Be wise choosing your friends. Talk to Mom and listen to her.  If you listen to Mom, you will be happier."

 To the Boofus: "Be nice to your sisters. Be happy."

 To the Caboose (who was having the most difficulty letting go):

"Control your temper." (she can be a little hothead.)

 To Mom and Dad:

"Don't doubt yourselves as parents. You're good parents and you're raising good kids." and then she shared some more personal thoughts and feelings that I will keep to myself--all very much appreciated.

And then, we all gathered in the livingroom where Dad gave her a blessing, which frankly had all in tears.

Even the dog was whining--lol.

And we headed outside to her little red car.

Where there were more hugs and tears...

I walked her to the driver's side and whispered as we held each other tightly:

"Now, you go have your own awfully big adventure! Enjoy every minute! You know that we love you so!

You've always been my favorite, but don't tell the other kids." haha

Nana answered: "I know."

Then I kissed her cheeks and that was that.

Just when you are tired of those late nights waiting up for their key to turn in the door,

and those marathon discussions about Right and Wrong,

and your knees have a rug rash

while your heart's in a knot,

or those days

when you'd consider putting an ad on Ebay

for that moody creature--

just when you wonder

"Am I ever going to be done?"--

 All of that starts to change

and your yahoo

turn into a lovely responsible adult

who "gets it"--

that's when you enjoy their company

and friendship--

And, well, dang it,

that's also when it's time for them 

to put the key in the ignition,

put the car in DRIVE

and pull away.

I just hate that part.

Evolution in Parenting

In a moment of clarity and sanity,
I put some thoughts down,
and shared them over here.
Head on over, will ya?

The one where we don't let the youngest pray

The Caboose loves to pray.
Every night, at dinner, when the question is asked:
"Who wants to say the prayer?",
she raises her hand as though she's in school,
"Pick Me!"
"I do! I do!"

Seriously, love this yahoo.

Last week was no different.
we sat for dinner
and she volunteered to say the prayer:
"Heavenly Father,
we thank thee for this day..."--she began.
Towards the end however,
she got our attention when she asked:
"And please don't let Nana leave home."

After the prayer,
I said, "Why would you say sucha thing?"
The Caboose: "Cuz I don't want her to go! She's like a sister to me!"

We laughed--hoho hahaha--
for many days since,
as the Caboose has continued to keep that plea in her prayers.

Until yesterday,
it was kinda cute,
but ya know what?
Nana has hit some financial snags with her trip.

So last night,
at the dinner table,
Nana: "Don't let Ari say the prayer."

P.S. I'm Over at Mormon Mommy Blogs today, talking about my underwear!

Fillin' Up My Life Bucket

Do you ever get so busy livin'
that you lose track of days?

The entire last week is a blur of activity to me.

I was supposed to be OFF work
but ended up going in 2 1/2 days
because another gal was sick.

I worked on some window treatments
for a friends' new home...
she is a doll,
has a gorgeous house
with fabulous views of a golf course and the Rockies.

I'm also working on another house re-design
that got into full gear
Friday
by painting a large great room
with vaulted ceilings--
we painted until 12 midnight;
then I went to my friend, Nan's
daughter's wedding
where I stood up for 3 hours and 55 minutes
(took 5 minutes to inhale a chicken salad croissant down)
helped set-up, serve, and take-down,
and then went home,
crashed for two hours,
and headed back to the paint job
for another 5 hours.

It looks great!
I did take Before pictures,
and once we get the window treatments done,
I'll get some After pics to show.
The paint is awesome!
We both love it.
Paint gives you more bang-for-your-buck
when it comes to updating your home.
Window treatments are next.

Tonight,
a very sweet expecting couple
came to the house
as we discussed the upcoming birth
of their first little one.
I am so stinkin excited to be their Doula
and share in their miracle come June!

Mr W and I are looking at homes for sale
in the area.
So far, none have really fit our needs.
I hope to be in our own home come June.
That would just fix my life.

Spring Break is this week,
and I hope to have some great time
with the yahoos...
catch a matinee,
maybe hit a trail,
definitely have some homemade sushi and fondue!

Also, have to work a few days too,
but Nana is leaving for Provo on Thursday,
so this will be a tough one too.
I'm going to miss her.
And we're gonna try to have Dean down for a visit
around the weekend.

It occurs to me at this late hour
that I am incredibly blessed.
I have wonderful children who own my heart.
A loving husband.
Super friends.
Tailor-made opportunities to share my talents and interests.
A great place to live--at the foot of Pikes Peak.

I'm doing pretty good, I guess.

What about you?--what are you thankful for today?

Slappin' the Devil

Tonight as I was yammering on the phone
with my oldest son, David Scott,
I wasn't paying much attention
to what was going on around me.

Mr W was in bed watching basketball,
while The Boofus stood next to the bed
talking to him about something else--
that much I knew
and nothing else.

I went to my side,
and just as I was pushing some pillows aside,
The Caboose
popped up
and yelled, "BOO!"--
it startled me so much
I slapped her arm
in a thoughtless reaction!

She went from laughing
to crying in 0.3 seconds
and I just couldn't stop laughing
as I tried to explain to David Scott
on the other end of the phone,
who'd heard the whole thing.

I apologized, "I'm so sorry, Bee!
You scared the daylights outta me!
I hit you as though you were the devil himself!"

To which, she replied,
"He's a man and I'm your baby girl!"

David Scott is cracking up on the other end of the phone,
"Tell Bee, to call Child Protective Services."

I told her.
Then she says, "Hand me the pho--wait, I don't have their number."
David Scott:  "911"
Bee: "Oh yeah. 911. I'm callin' 911 on Mommy."

David Scott misses living at home.
Family.  Isn't it about  this kinda nonsense?!

p.s. Sue won the Give-o-Giveaway!
Thanks to everyone that joined in the fun! Keep a lookout
for the next one!

Three Words to Live By?

So I remembered today
that I have a twitter account.
Seriously.

I had to request a new password,
thankfully,
Twitter reminded me also of my username--
MOMZA
lol.
How lucky am I that I'm the only "Momza"
in the Twitter world?
I'd like to thank my yahoos
for at least giving me
an original nickname that I honestly don't mind.
It coulda been so much worse.
Meemaw
Mawmaw
Buckethead.
It coulda gone any direction really.

"Momza" fits me--
so to show my gratitude for a decent nickname,
I will be making dinner tonight.
Again.

Okay, back to my Twitter ramble:
after getting to my account and poking around--
I have 11 followers!
Eleven!
I did have 13 when I signed on,
but two of them were porn stars
so I had to block them.
Had to.

Then I poked around some more
and saw this thing about
"three words to live by" stream...
so I followed the link
and basically it's a bunch of people
giving their best advice
in, you guessed it:
three words.

So my thinker started thinking...
What Is My Best Advice
in 3 Words?
"Show Your Best"--but ya gotta roll the "r",
cuz it sounds better that way.
Try it.
See?
What about YOU?
What're your THREE WORDS TO LIVE BY?

Give-o-Give A-way N' Stuff

I have the great opportunity to offer another CNS Stores Giveaway.
They are like the Great Giveaway Kings of Blogland,
I am not kidding!
Everytime I open my email,
there's a note from them asking if I wanna play.
YES!
I say, YES!

They have about ever' dang thing you can think of,
and probably a ton you ain't never
so lemme think of something wildly fun
to pick a
Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!

I'll have to come up with something
by the end of this post
cuz right now the well is done dry.

Also, thanks to some awesome folks at
Deseret Book,
I have the opportunity to review some new media
that's about ready to hit the shelves.
How cool is that?
WAY.
Keep your eyeballs peeled for not one,
but TWO
upcoming Recording Artists new releases.
I am so. stinkin. happy about that!
Here's a peek at what's coming:
Josh Wright.

I don't know why/how I got so lucky
but if I ever thought about playin' the Lotto,
it would be right about NOW...
but we've already discovered that God will never let me
feel "lucky"
back when I went to Phoenix in October '09
with the best travelling buddy in the world,
Nan--
who played
and won over 700.00 in cash
at gas station slot machines
all the way down there
and all the way back.
IN about 15 minutes total.
I am not kidding.
Whereas, when I plunked down my three bucks,
I got nill...
if it weren't for bad luck,
I'd have no luck at all.

And YET,
this whole Deseret Book deal is giving me
that good lucky feeling
like I am the lucky one,
yessirreebob.

There are other things in the works
with this lil blog o' mine,
but I'm a patient woman,
so we'll see.

IN real life --harhar--
I'm busy with my staging-slash-re-design stuff
and eatin' that up like a fat kid on a cupcake!
Working on window treatments for some gals this week.
I love sewing square things.
Did you know it's hip to be square?
Totally.
What is it about Spring that calls out the
Sewing Bug??
Do you get that way too?


Ok Ok,
so back to the CNS Giveaway:
Name 1 of the 3 songs and artists that are
mysteriously hidden in this post.
Mwahahaha...
first person to get it right, wins!

See? eventually the ol' cogs get going in there
and I come up with something!

Now, play away!
oh, the Giveaway is worth
$40 whole whopping dollars!
Get busy!

Evolution: It's Something to Believe In

ev-o-lu-tion. n.

A gradual process in which something changes

into a different and usually more

complex or better form.

I love the word evolution.

To evolve, to change gradually, to become.

That is so Me.

At this age, how pathetic would it be,

if I still thought and acted like a twenty-year old?

At twenty-one I was a new young mother

who didn't know a dang thing.

But I was an eager student

to learn how to become better.

Reading books,

listening to good women and men's counsel,

seeking

always seeking out the good stuff

has helped me

"evolve".

We're all evolving

on some level.

Some of us take longer to learn 

the lessons of life

than others.

Common sense is not so common.

Sometimes it seems that

the World of Logic

is next to

Fantasyland.

In my fiftieth year,

just when I'm comfortable

with what I've learned,

my brain lets go of things

randomly, without warning.

Even in this process,

I am evolving my attitude

that says

"I must control everything"

with the realization

that it's not necessary.

I've made my best efforts in some areas,

most of these years,

but not always.

I can still do better.

Be better.

That's very encouraging thinking 

for my heart--

to know I've still got time to love more,

love deeper,

love for the sake of love.

There's yet more to learn

to explore and experience.

And heck no,

I'm not going to be perfect at it

the first go-'round.

But I can get better.

Having realistic expectations for myself,

gives me opportunities to teach my children

that they too

are evolving human beings,

and some days are gonna be wrecked-up messes--

regret, remorse, repentance

will all be part of their 

Journey.

So is forgiveness and love of self.

Appreciation 

for another sunrise

to try again

is seen as the true gift it is

in the light of day.

Whilst In the midst of trials,

all is not lost.

All is measured and weighed,

added to the sum total

of the equation

of evolution.

When our understanding matches our actions

then we can measure more fairly.

When we know better

we do better.

Doesn't it all make sense this way?

That's the legacy I want to leave behind

for my posterity.

That Life is for Learning:

"Do your part"--something we say to our children each day; 

and something I am certain they are sick of hearing, 

but also something I am certain 

they will say to their own as well.

"Learn what you need to learn,

and get on with it."

"This is the day that the Lord hath made,

let us rejoice 

and be glad in it."

Trials are part of this great journey...

but like a gray cloud--

as dark and fierce as it may be--

thankfully,they too pass.

There's yet much joy to be found

no matter what our circumstances may be.

We just have to look for it,

or 

create it if necessary.

Don't let the ghostly weight of past flubs

tether themselves

to the dreams of today.

Forgiveness of self is part of evolution.

Make things right

and then move forward 

with confidence.

You and me?

We have a work to do in our own little part of the vineyard.

I used to kneel and dig the earth

then I planted the seeds,

tended the little sprouts as they shot up to the sky,

watered and fed them most days--

and here I am,

standing 

in the glorious vineyard 

that is mine 

to enjoy 

in the rays of the sun,

shadow of the moon,

cloudy and rainy days,

snow-covered nights,

and every day that I cast my eyes heavenward.

Evolution.

I bet you thought I was writing about Apes, hunh?
Nope. 

.

Hey! Happy Monday!

I'm over at the Mormon Mommy Blogs today...
check  me out,
would ya?

The Caboose is Double-Digits Hawaiian Style

The Caboose is turning ten,

and she had just two requests

this year:

* At Home

*Hawaiian-theme

She invited some girlies over

and they rocked Wii's Just Dance

like professionals!

Then there was yummy delish pizza--Hawaiian style, of course

and fruit kabobs

cake and sherbet

And

finally presents

I love this girlie-girl.
She was delighted with our gift to her:

And if I had a nickel for everytime this little Caboose
said,
"Thank you, Mommy."
just today,
I'd be pretty rich.

I love you, my littlest Bee.
You are a light in our family,
with your funny sense of humor,
quirky faces,
and tender heart.
It's my great privilege to be your
Momza.


*p.s. for those of you who may've noticed, Mr. Idaho's missin' a front tooth--it was knocked out in his last wrestling meet in San Francisco.  He has a great sense of humor about it too!

Search Words That Lead to Momza's House

SO I was checking my STATS Traffic Sources and Search words,
and these have led people here:


french fries mormon mommy blogsand waffles blog  (I'm thinking they're looking for Chocolate Chip Waffle blog by Theresa Wellborn)


house home provider   (that's actually gotten a ton of hits, which is good)


mentally ill mother blogs  (got that one)


piano tied to butt  (see the sidebar)


zumba  (lub me some Zumba!)


mom on strike (o yes I did!)


"memory loss " inposttitle:"memory loss "  (inposttitle = in post title)


mommy on strike  (yup)


strange addictions (yup)


my daughter wants a super sweet 16 party and I don't wanna (one of my favorites-- I don't wanna either! lol)




What are some interesting search words that have led to YOUR blog?

Winner Announced!

The Caboose chose the winner of the Eyre's newly released book,
5 Spiritual Solutions for Everyday Parenting Challenges
by choosing a random number between 1-23--
she chose commenter number 7:

"Our little family said...

I love all their books I have read. I could really use some spiritual guidance in my parenting. So hard to remember to ask for help when I'm caught up in the emotion of the day to day nitty gritty of parenting."

Thanks to everyone who joined in and shared their thoughts!

I'll be hosting another giveaway from Deseret soon,
as well as one from CNS Stores--
so be on the lookout for that!

Thanks again to Deseret for sponsoring this awesome giveaway
for the Eyre's beautiful book!