To Dean, With Love from Danielle

 Dean's birthday.  August was an emotional month for me.  Having seen the decline in Dean's health,
as I have shared previously, it is unclear how many more birthdays we'll have with our boy.

 There are fewer things that give Dean joy than balloons and clowns...

Dean's older sister knows this,

so she arranged for a clown to personally come to the house,

as a surprise for his birthday.

Her clown name is "STINKER BELLE"

and she is great!

She tuned right into Dean and as you can see,

he was delighted!

The balloon headpiece was an immediate hit!

Dean's language skills have declined,

so he was pretty quiet;

just lots of smiles.

And then Stinker Belle asked if she could give Dean a

paint tattoo of his favorite football team--

while she painted, she encouraged Dean to ask her

"clown questions"--

What do clowns eat?

Funny Bones.

Where do clowns sleep?

On a trapeze.

Bee got a turn too...

Joseph too.

 Along with being a sweet, gentle clown,

Stinker Belle is also a talented artist.

She even made Dean an honorary clown--

he couldn't have been more delighted

and immediately wanted to go to Walmart and buy some clown shoes.

What good is looking like a clown at home, right?

Gotta get out and meet the people!

So that's what we did...

I even posted our trip on facebook to let our friends know

that if they wanted to see Dean in action,

his debut performance was happening, STAT,

at our local Walmart!

We did see a few friends up there,

and Dean loved it when others noticed his happy face.

Small joys, this one. 

His simple happiness inspires me

to want less and to give more.

As Stinker Belle was leaving,

I gave her a hug and thanked her 

for being a blessing in our lives that day for Dean.

We both got a little choked up.

She replied that it was she who was blessed that day.

I had also invited my FB Friends to send Dean

a birthday card

and he was pretty happy to receive those--

it sure made him feel special.

SO thanks to all of you good-hearted friends for 

remembering him!

Danielle also made a beautiful video in honor of his birthday--

she said later that her first thought was to have it for a

certain day in the future,

but decided not to save it so Dean could enjoy it too;

he kept saying, 

"That's me. That's me."

Dean is our magical child...

his has cast a spell on us

so that we have never been the same.

Thank you Dani for loving so well.

In God's Timing OR Where'd that IUD go?

You know how,
when you were young,
you made Plans for your L.I.F.E.?

What you wanted to do.
Where you wanted to go to school.
Who you wanted to marry.
How many yahoos you wanted to have;
and to show a particular sense of responsibility,
choose birth control to govern when those yahoos
would make an appearance
in this mortal nest.

Yep.
All planned out like a 15 year old
going to her first prom.

Life.
You live long enough and you realize
Life is funny sometimes.
Sometimes you do get the dream boat of your affections,
and sometimes you get a tug boat.
And sometimes you get into that school of geniuses
n' sometimes you go to community college.

But you know,
you work things out.
You work with what you've got
and go from there.

I married young.
Twenty.
We lived in Houston, Texas.
Just over a year later,
I had my first baby.
I was over-the-moon-in-love
with his baby-ness.
But man-oh-man,
was I tired. And sore.
But I was happy.
Did I mention tired?

At my 6 week check-up,
I found out I was pregnant again.
I know.
After I sucked it up in the ob's office,
I went out to my car and sobbed
feeling like a very cruel joke had been played on me.

I had just gotten used to nursing,
washing more laundry,
sleep was not happening,
I had no support system
as my husband was in school and working
full-time,
and no family nearby.
And,
we were moving to another State
the following Spring
for more schooling.

I found out that the La Leche ladies
had lied:
breastfeeding is not a "natural" birth control.

Ten and a half months later,
Danielle was born
in Independence, Missouri.
She was an easy baby.
She slept thru the night
from nearly the beginning.

Thirteen months later,
and one failed "sponge" contraceptive,
Dean was born.

If you're keeping track,
that's three babies
in two years.

That's when I learned that God was in control.
Either that, or I was an idiot.
But we kid around here,
that I needed Dani in-between the two boys
to keep me sane.
She was my right-hand man
and the Lord knew I needed some help.

The next child didn't show up until 6 years later.
After much trying in years 4 and 5.

So where's this going?
Well, a couple of weeks ago,
I went up to Dani's to see the beautiful Ninja baby,
since they'd spent all of their Christmas break
with Mr. Idaho's family.
She had been ill while on vacation--
but so had the rest of his family,
all with the stomach flu.

The stomach flu was not the only thing she had.
Missing a cycle while up there,
she went to her OB when she got home,
where it was discovered
somewhere in time,
her Mirena IUD came out,
and in it's place,
is an 8 week old little fetus.

She didn't tell us any of this before
she first brought out
the ultrasound!
Diana and I just grabbed her
and hugged her tight!
Yea! a baby!
We love babies!

Mr. Idaho is still in denial.lol
He hates doctors and modern medicine.
He feels betrayed,
because he was "Responsible".
No more kids until graduation--
maybe three years from now...
because he's going onto get his Masters.

Danielle is handling it better, I think,
than I did.
She said, "God's in control."
followed by a "dang it."

I told her it's kharma--
total payback.

She's due in mid-August,
while they are in Houston, Texas
for Mr. Idaho's internship.

God laughs when we make plans.--
I think I heard that maybe once or a million times.

So here's where you share your stories about failed birth control
or the plans that you made that took detours!
Dani will appreciate them.
And poor Mr. Idaho too.

My Gratitude is True

There are parts to mothering a handicapped child,
that bring me infinite Joy:
watching Dean play any of his myriad of sports--
his three-pointers in basketball,
his homeruns in softball,
his goals in soccer,
those slam-dunks in volleyball,
and finishing up a solid lap in swimming.

Each time, I feel like I"m witnessing a miracle
from a little boy whom I was told by
"medical professionals"
would never walk or talk.

Dean amazes me.

He is the softspot of my heart,
the tender underbelly of my soul.
I can barely speak of him to others without my heartstrings pulling
and oh brother, the tears erupt faster than I can stop them.
When it comes to my love for this child,
I am completely raw.

Dean hasn't lived with us in five years,
because his needs exceed my abilities.
I hate that.
Can I just say that without sounding pathetic?
I hate it.

I miss him more than I can say.
I am only whole
when he's at home,
sleeping under my roof,
eating at our dinner table.

Since it's Thanksgiving,
we made plans to see Dean.
His State-run program only allows us to see Dean
for 4 consecutive 24-hour periods.
Totally sucks.
Otherwise, there's a financial adjustment for his caregivers,
and that always makes me feel guilty
on both ends--
if we keep him longer,
it takes money out of his caregivers' pockets,
but when I don't see Dean,
I worry that he feels abandoned.

Phone calls do not make the distance easier,
because in every call,
he pleads to come home and see us.
I know he misses us.
There's just no easy way around this.
We used to live in the same city as he does,
but then we moved,
and the county we live in now,
has insufficient funds for quality care for Dean.
So in his best interest,
we've left him up in Loveland.
None of this is easy.

Anyway,
getting to the Gratitude Part--
Dani was going to pick up Dean yesterday
as she is just an hour away from him,
and bring him home to me.
But since Mr. Idaho is the EQP (Elders' Quorum President) in his ward,
he has responsibilities that prevented her from being able to take the one car
they have (they traded in their individual cars last summer and bought just one.)

I was worried anyway,
about Dani going by herself to pick Dean up,
as he is moving again from the caregiver's home he
JUST moved into in September--
because that caregiver says he was unaware that Dean's needs
exceeded his ability as well.
I've been mad about that--
I hate moving Dean and I know it stresses him out,
like any normal person would be,
only alot worse.
So I worried about Dani being able to handle Dean
if he had an outburst and became physical.

I called work and tried to see if I could leave early
for the two hour drive up north to get him
myself.
The answer was No.

Mr. W said he could go get Dean after work--
which would put them home around 7:30-8pm.
That's a long day,
but at the time, seemed like our only option.

Then, Dani called back and said she'd make it work somehow
so that she could get him and keep him overnight at her place
and bring him with her family on Thanksgiving.

Okay, so in the meantime,
I'm trying to work things like time and place
out with Dean's caregiver.
When one of us will get there,
and where we can meet up so we don't have to go
all the way into Loveland.

That was stressing me out
because I want to make it easy on the caregiver,
ya know?
He's already asked that we remove Dean from his home,
I don't wanna inconvenience him if I don't have to.
ugh.

So I went to work,
hope full that Dani could work it out on her end,
and just flat-out sad that I couldn't just do it myself,
as I usually do.
Before I had a job.
I was just too emotional for words,
so what do I do when I'm like that?
I clean.
N' just so you know,
the floors, counters, tabletops, lamp shades,
shelves, and every other stinkin' thing
in All About Home Showroom
is spotless today.

Around two hour after I got to work,
my Nana came by to tell me she was on her way to
Loveland to pick up Dean.
Her work cancelled and she would do it.
I was relieved and grateful,
but worried at the same time,
for all of the same reasons I was worried about Dani going
AND
because we were assured a snow storm was going to hit
our side of the Rockies yesterday
and she still hasn't put on her snow tires yet.

I gave her a big hug,
and proceeded to pray while I was cleaning
all day long yesterday,
for her safety and Dean's emotional state.

All Day.

When I finished sweeping the whole store,
I dusted.
When I finished dusting,
I vacuumed.
When I wrapped the cord around the vacuum,
I dusted again.
Then I swept under every thing I could get to.
And dusted again.
I did that for the six plus hours I was there,
as there were just three customers all day long.

I told Nana to call me once she got there,
and once she got Dean and was on her way back home.
And she did,
but when the clock rolled around to 4pm and she still wasn't home with him
I was worried and called her.

She was at Dani's house with Dean.
She said she took him there because he needed to be cleaned up
before I saw him
as she knew I'd be upset.
So she took him to Dani's house.
Dani is a second Mom to Dean--
she and Mr. Idaho gave Dean a shower,
cut his hair,
cleaned his ears,
shaved his overgrown beard,
trimmed his toenails,
brushed his teeth,
put on deodorant
and clean clothes,
fed him and loved him.
I told Nana to give Dani and Brad a big hug for me.

And then, once that was done,
Nana brought him home to me.

Do you get this??
Am I leaving anything out?

I have an amazing family...
sisters and brothers who love each other
and serve one another
and by doing so fill my heart with unspeakable joy!

Even when I cannot be there for Dean,
the softspot of my heart,
his brothers and sisters ARE.
They served him in the most pure way--
caring for his physical body.

Look, I don't know why his caregiver hasn't done
a better job at taking care of Dean...
to make sure his hair is trim,
his beard is shaven,
his teeth and ears and nails are properly hygienic.
I don't know.
BUT,
we are moving him to a better place next week.
There's a mother in that home.
And for that,
I am grateful too.

I admit,
I wondered yesterday why this is so hard.
And that old puke, Satan was ever present in my ear,
making me feel more crappy about the challenges that are mine
than I already did.
I compared myself to my friends--
whose trials seem so insignificant in this light to me.
I wish I had a friend who had a son like mine.
So I would know at least one Mother in the world
whose grief compares--
apples to apples, ya know?

But here's the thing--
as those ugly thoughts clamored for attention
yesterday
and I cleaned until I couldn't clean anymore--
like a tiger circling it's cage,
I circled the store,
cleaning and straightening,
with tears sneaking out of my eyes at times,
finally
a feeling of peace came over me,
and it was time to go home.

I was at home for just a little while,
busy making dinner,
when Joseph came bounding down the stairs:
"He's Here! Dean's here!! They just pulled up!!"
Daisie and Ari came a-running
and we all gathered at the doorway to welcome Dean home.

His thousand watt smile greeted us,
and my arms encircled my boy with all the strength I had,
I breathed him in and found peace after a long day of unrest.

I hugged Nana,
and when Mr. W came home,
he hugged Nana,
and Ari hugged Nana too...
all of us grateful she was able to fetch our Dean for us.

I was fretting about not being the Mom,

the one who is in charge of Dean--

and here I am,

several hours later,

realizing the day was just as should've been--

Dean's sisters and brother-in-love saw the opportunity

to serve both Dean and Me,

and they seized it with their hearts wide open.

I don't know any other mother

who has my same trials,

but the gratitude I feel right now,

is unequaled too.

If this is what family is all about,
then what more can I ask for?

It's Thanksgiving Morning.
My Gratitude is True.

Pinch Me! No, Really, G'head!

So I was minding my own business,
doin' my mom-thang today--
ya know,
the usual--
cleanin'
runnin' errands like taking Oprah to the Vet,
thinkin' about what's-fer-dinner,
yada yada yada...

The yahoos came home from school
and they're playing with friends
when all of a sudden
the Boofus runs in and yells,
"Mom! Mom! Dani just drove by the house!"

"Whaaa? No way." I say.

"Yes, she did, but she didn't stop, she just drove right by the house!"

I'm thinking that he's mistaken
because Dani has a red two-door Blazer---
there's alot of those around, ya know?
The Boofus insists it was her.

So then I think,
maybe she's just coming to hang out with Nana
tonight,
maybe they have something going on
that I don't know about??

Whatever. If it was her, she'll be back in a minute.
Just about that time,
the doorbell rings.

I walk downstairs to answer it,
and there in front of me is
David Scott!!
From Boise!
All the way here
to surprise me!!

Oh yeah,
I screamed
n' bawled like a baby!
I was so surprised!!

He finished his semester in school
last week,
while his wife still has a week or two left of school
(She's a teacher)
so he just decided to hop a plane
and come home for a week!!

He'd planned it two weeks ago,
and only told Dani & Brad--
who have kept it a total secret from me!!!!!
They picked him up at the Denver airport
and drove him down here--
she said she drove past the house
when she saw all the kids
outside,
because they wanted to surprise the kids too.
Anyway...
it was the BEST!!!

You know,
someone once complimented me
on my children--
and I said to them,
"I know I'll be a successful Mother,
when my kids choose to come home and
visit me,
when they don't have to."

Seriously--
this just means so much to me.
I love my yahoos!

And sometimes it rains...

Friday at 4:14am the phone rang.
I was expecting a call--
after all, we have 3 more Mama's due this month.
But it wasn't from the Midwife.
It was Mr. Idaho's Mom
who has been staying with him and Dani
to help out with the new baby.

Dani passed out at home
and was taken away by ambulance
to the hospital.
I listened to every detail
then fending off "panic"
got myself together
and Mr W and I drove up there
to see my girl.

Thoughts, mostly negative,
were like storm clouds in my mind
gathering,
hovering,
building up into tears.

When we arrived at the hospital
I wasn't "okay" until my arms were around
my girl
my lips on her cheeks
my hands holding hers...
they'd already begun running tests
before we got there--
blood tests,
and then while we were there:
x-rays
and a catscan...
looking for bloodclots.

I didn't like this hospital--
they did no hands-on examination.
Just listened to the symptoms
did the tests
and with very little to go on,
prescribed an antibiotic
and sent us home...
with promises to call us when
lab results are in.

Mr W went on to work,
and I went to the kids' little apartment
where Mr. Idaho's (Granma Boise) mom had stayed behind
with the Golden child.

My girl is having a hard time...
her body is not bouncing back
from childbirth--

Dani's recovery is slow.
She is one big Hurt.

I stayed overnight
and took a turn on the
baby-feeding wheel--
because of the Catscan,
Dani couldn't nurse for 24 hours.
So we all took turns at feeding
the baby...
I was first.
He woke up an hour and 45 minutes
after I went to bed. ha!
And then again in two hours
and again in two hours...
I enjoyed getting up with him so much
that I didn't relinquish my post
easily.
With my own children,
I enjoyed those 2am feedings--
just me and my baby
learning each other
while the rest of the world slept.
I loved it.

But then again,
mine weren't near 11 pounds
and hungry every 2 hours.
(and boy! was I ever grateful for sleep last night!)

Dani hadn't had 8 hours of sleep in one shot
since before the baby was born...
the next morning,
her color was back
laughter filled her
and made her giggle and wince
at the same time
because of stitches,
but she looked better.
We have a silly sense of humor
and shared it over the baby.
David Scott called to check on Dani
and asked her if he could call the baby
"Gary" like SpongeBob Squarepants' pet snail
and asked if Dani was gonna teach him to
"Meow" too?
So the rest of the day,
Dani and I were "meowing" at the baby.
Ridiculous, I know.
Childish, I know.
Fun! Totally!
We joked and giggled
and ate Granma Boise's banana bread.
She rested and cared for her aching body.
This body has taken a beating lately--
it feels foreign to her.
She wonders if it will ever be "hers" again.


By late afternoon
it was time to go home...
and tears surfaced in my girls' eyes.
Having your Mom nearby is
comforting
healing...
I knelt by her bedside
and said
I knew that this was hard for her,
that this isn't what she expected--
but it will pass.
And soon she will be up and about
and back in charge of her home
and her baby.
And the longer lesson will show
when she is in the circle of other women
and "birth stories" are shared--
she will have a greater understanding
with those whose stories are not all happy
and sunshiney and rosey...
she will have a greater empathy and compassion
when they share their struggles too.

Tears began to fall like rain drops...
I know becoming a Mother is hard--
the aches and pains,
the fleshiness and awkwardness
of full breasts
and tenderness everywhere...
lack of sleep distorts everything too.
The celebration of childbirth
with it's fireworks and sunshine
can sometimes give way
to a sky of rainclouds
and periods of rain
before the rainbows appear.

Storms may gather above
and hide the sun for a while,
but eventually the clouds let go
the rain falls
and something good grows because of it...
A Mother.

Every Woman Has the Birth She Needs

See these shoes? These Nikes with their bright orange swoosh?  They started walking the halls of Exempla Lutheran Hospital at 8:10AM on Tuesday morning.  They walked from the car to the Labor & Delivery Floor, then they walked up and down the halls of said hospital, rode on the hospital elevator to the top floor and walked down all the flights of stairs to the bottom and did that again and again. These Nike's rock almost as much as their owner.


 
See this girl, this is my girl. And Mr. Idaho's girl. I have first dibs though. Neener neener.   Meet the owner of the Nike's with the bright orange swoosh.  This is before the nurse ruptured her membranes to bring on labor for a baby that was 10 days overdue.
She even did her hair and makeup--because, as she put it, "I knew Mom would be taking pictures for her blog."  I haveta admit, I did the same thing, only I forgot to be in any pictures. I looked fabli-ous, though, really. 
When the Admitting Nurse asked Dani, on a pain scale of 1-10, when would you like to receive pain medication, Dani replied, "ten".

  
After her membranes had been ruptured for 2 hours, the Midwife said they would have to start talking about pitocin. Dani said "No thanks. I just need more time."  So she walked, and she squatted, and she sat on the birth ball, and she walked some more. And then she took a warm bath that helped kick her into labor.

She is 7 cm dilated and still on her feet.  But things were getting more intense, so we put her back into the jacuzzi...where she stayed until she was 9 cm dilated. Then she had to get out. And THAT was miserable.  She was comfortable, and coping wonderfully, but this hospital doesn't do water births, so she had to get out. We got her onto the bed, where she kneeled on the edge to help the baby come down easier than on her back. Which, btw, she hated being on her back.  By midnight, she was exhausted.  We all were.

Now this is where my Mother heart is raw and tender. My prayers were constantly for her to have strength to finish this on her own terms. At one point, she said, "I can't do this. I can't do this."  The baby was taking a long time coming down, even after she was fully dilated. Dani continued her breathing rhythm, with Mr. Idaho applying counter-pressure on her hips, and Diana and me at her side, breathing with her, all of us in chorus, praising her efforts and strength.
"You can do this! you ARE doing this! you're amazing Dani!

We're right here. We're so proud of you. Almost done, almost done."

Rubbing her shoulders and arms, applying cool compresses on her neck, and warm compresses on her perineum for her comfort.

All of our actions/thoughts were for her comfort and support.

When she had been pushing about 30-45 minutes, she was in an upright position, leaning back on the bed--she was so tired, and again said,

"I can't do this."

Diana and I were at her feet, rubbing her legs constantly, and I said, "Dani, listen to me, I want you to say: "I CAN DO THIS. Now, say it with me, I can do this. I can do this"--she joined me, and that became her mantra thru several more waves of contractions as she brought the baby down.  Even with tears, she continued,"I can do this, I can do this..." and we all in chorus echoed her words back to her, "You can do this, You can do this!"
Mr. Idaho's eyes were teary, as he became one with his wife. He praised her, loved on her, held her, and was at her side and in her ear whispering every good and kind thing in his heart. When she cried, he cried. Her anguish was his. Her relief was his relief.  She leaned on him and he welcomed every bit of it. The bond that was forged in those hours will carry them thru many other trials, I do believe. He continually expressed his love for her and reassured her that she was 'doing great' and in the process of giving her strength, I do believe he increased his own.
I was in awe of my daughter, clearly, this was a large baby, and we knew that going into labor---we suspected between 8-9 pounds.  Which is alot for Dani's 5'5" frame. We gave her honey stix for energy and the midwife gave her oxygen for renewed energy--which totally helped!

When the baby's head finally crowned, Diana, who had been a quiet supporter, spoke up, "Dani, I can see the baby's head-- you're almost done!"

Dani said, "They've been saying that for hours!"

Diana, knowing her sister so well, said, "They lied. I'm not lying. You're almost done!"

And with just a few more strong, focused pushes,

 

Garrett Theodore Bradley came into this world.

Ten Pounds, 8 ounces.

Twenty-one and a quarter inches long!

 See this girl. She's not a girl anymore. She is an Amazing, Strong Mother.

There's a Midwife Mantra that says, "Every woman has the birth she needs."
I love witnessing women give birth--it is such an empowering experience...
 it was humbling and emotional and I am left in complete awe of my daughter's strength and determination.   Dani needed to have this baby on her own terms, and she did indeed have the birth she needed.  I have never been to a birth where the baby weighed over 10 and half pounds!  I don't even know anyone who has...Dani earns the Prize. A gold star. She wins!
What a grand day!  
The baby, the Golden Child, is the picture of Perfection--a clone of his beaming father and the pillar of pride for his beautiful Mother.  Of course, I have plans on loving the dickens outta him for all of eternity!
I'm still processing this birth, so I may have left off other details and may come back and add more as I feel, and some of this may be jittery and disconnected.  But here it is.  My real life in my House.

post dated add-ons:  From the time the midwife ruptured membranes 'til the onset of real labor: 6 hours.  From the time of onset of labor 'til the birth 9 1/2 hours.  

Patience is a Virtue? *OR* Where is that Baby?

It's Monday.
MONDAY.
And I am still not a Gramuddah.

I got up at 6:45am on Turkey day
like a Sous chef
to make sure all was ready
for Mr W--
should I get "the call"
to run up to Golden,
and leave him to make the dinner.
Which, he loves doing
and he got up with me at 6am
cuz
he likes spending time with me
whilst the yahoos are still sleeping.

We chopped,
sliced and diced
 and cooked
and finally it was all done--
and it was good!
Lemme tell you,
it was good--
cranberry salsa
stuffed mushrooms
warmed cranberry brie
Turkey
sausage & sage dressing with granny apple & mushrooms,
hawaiian rolls
homemade cranberry sauce (Cranberries Are Loved)
PLUS the gel in the can :::shudder:::
for Diana
and on and on...
I was stuffed.
Mr. W was stuffed
the kids were stuffed
pie was eaten,
and life was good.

Dani & Mr Idaho did not
come down for Thanksgiving
and she was sad about that--
but she'd been having ctx all day
and didn't wanna chance the drive
away from her birth center.

But No Baby Yet.

Again, I went to bed
on high alert
waiting for that phone to ring!
Friday morning at 4am
I got up with Mr W
and reluctantly went to Wally World...

I didn't want to
except for two items
ON SALE
that are on Santa's List
were there!--
and oh-my-gosh!
the number of cars in the Parking lot
was fantastic!
I thought the store opened at 5am--
no it did not!
It never closed
from the night before.
And it was almost as PACKED as the
Kohl's parking lot across the Street.

Once inside Wally's World,
the place resembled a Zoo
only with brighter lights
and Karo syrup  & womens' underwear
down the aisles.
They had their "deals" spread all over the store--
Cameras in the Fitting Room areas,
Nintendos at the Pharmacy,
TVs in Frozen Food
TomToms in Lingerie
It was a Scavenger Hunt--Walmart-style!
I only got cart-rammed
twice
and observed only one truly irate
hobbit-woman--
she behaved like The Queen of Hearts--
"MY WAY, ALWAYS MY WAY!"

We got our goodies
and I was back home in bed
less than an hour later!

We also hit Target
for two of their Sale Items
and while there,
they girls got candy for the Candy Game--
upon laying it on the checkout thingy,
Dean exclaimed, as loudly as I have ever heard him yell
in public,
"DAMN People!"
Hands thrown up in the air
in excitement over the candy!
Diana and I were ahead of him in line
and turned, wide-eyed to each other--
"Did he just say what I think he said?"
We look behind to Dara for confirmation
whose eyes were huge and
we all started laughing, told Dean
"We don't use those words Deano."
The smile never left his face. He loves candy.
And apparently that love elicits cuss words.
Who knew?

The Missionaries came over
and played the cussed-over Candy Game...
and didn't mind that Dean cheated
by telling what kind of candy Diana
was hiding under her towel.
Dean always cheats.
But we don't mind.
He is our Golden Ticket afterall.
Not be confused with the Golden Child
that is very very late.

Saturday
I grabbed Nana and we ran Dean home
to Loveland
and stopped by Golden
to check on Dani
& Brad.
The lack of sleep shows
in both their eyes.
We went out for pizza
and laughed our guts out.

Then we went to Whole Foods
where I got Dani some Zinc
and Red Raspberry Leaf supps
that might help kick her into labor.
Mr W offerred use of his Shop-Vac
if those didn't work.
smart aleck.

She said she thought she was
in labor
that night
5-1-1
but then
Not.

Today she is going to a
Midwife/Dr. (not my Midwife) appointment.
They may break her water
to get labor going.
And if they do,
then we'll have a baby today
no doubt.

Otherwise,
we are being taught a fine lesson
on Patience.
We're waiting for this newest
Yahoo
to join the craziness that is Our Family
and while it may look like
we're living our normally-scheduled-lives,
we're really living in an altered universe
which we will easily ditch
once this Golden Child
makes his way here.

Oh and I also got to spend some
Quality Time in the ER last night
with Diana's Little Man
whom we thought had a heart attack
at the house last night,
and whom our neighbor and brother from the ward
had to haul upstairs over his shoulders
to the car
(Little Man's sister didn't wanna call 911)
but all is well--
he just has a rib head cartilege thingy that was inflamed
and after a drip bag of drugs
a few thousand dollars worth of tests
and whatnot
Little Man slept in his own bed last night.

(fyi: When someone is being taken to "the hospital" from your house, and you intend on following them once you grab your shoes and coat, it's important to ask them BEFORE they drive off, WHICH hospital they're going to, otherwise, you are left in the driveway with your coat, shoes and car keys and no idea.)

With everything else,
I have to admit
the diversion wasn't awful.
I did get to read a Newsweek article
about Twilight's Stephanie Meyer.

Patience.  I hear it's a Virtue.

Golden Child is on his way!

Last night around 8PM:

Heading up to Golden!
Prayers much-appreciated
for a safe and healthy birth!

~Dawn


Then Dani called and said the contractions
she'd been having all day
were irregular
so she was going to go lay down
and see if they just went away.

She'd call back if they didn't.

I had just showered
and put on scrubs
tied my shoes
and was ready to walk out the door
before that call.

Hmmm
okay I thought,
I'll go rest a bit too--
she'll probably call around 11PM
and then I'll head up there.

I lay down
in my bed
in my scrubs
in my socks
with my head carefully
touching the pillow
so my hair didn't get messy.

Then I woke up
at 3:00 AM
and wondered why the
heck was I still at home?

Rest wouldn't return easily
so I puttered around on the
www
for awhile,
looking at BlackFriday.com
for some deals
until Mr W
talked me back into bed
and off to dreamland
I went again.

I dreamed I missed the birth.
Yikes!

Finally, I just got up
around 6:45am
came down to the kitchen
and started breakfast
turkey dressing
and the rest of the fixings.

We had dinner
uninterrupted...
we did the customary round table
discussion
of what we're thankful for--
Joseph says, "Pumpkin Pie."
Dean says," To be here with my family."
I love him.


It's 8:23PM
and still no baby.
She was 4cm dilated yesterday
morning
before the midwife swept her membranes,
and she's had ctx all day,
but if she went to the hospital
they'd just hook her up to pitocin
and then follow that with
an epidural
and on and on
like dominos
one medical intervention after another.

No, she says,
we'll wait until the Golden child
is ready....

So here we are,
her ctx are on again tonight
but still irregular...
I'll keep you posted.
On the plus side,
if I'm still here
in the morning
there are some killer deals
for Black Friday
that I would love to chase!

Fihr-teen Dorras Fihr-teen Minnas, yes?

I spent the day up North

with Dani,

the mother of my

soon-to-be

Golden grandchild

who has yet to make his

appearance.

He's late.

Like his Momma,

and his Daddy

who are always

always always

late.

I took Dani to Colorado Mills Outlets

where we walked her

around like a show pony

to see if we could get

her into labor.

We stopped at a

 place

where she got a foot massage

from Chinese guys wearing

little white chinese "scrubs"

with red piping on the sleeves

and neckline

and who,

apparently just got off

the boat from China

3 days ago

as they spoke almost as much

English

as I speak Chinese.

They took a look at Dani's

very large pregnant belly

and with eyes wide as pancakes

said:

"You-ah wont mah-sege?"

HUNH?

Then they used Chinese sign language

 which could easily be

Universal

as they pointed to Dani's belly

and practically reached out

and dragged her inside.

"Fihr-teen dorras, fihr-teen minnas, yes?"

I thought, why not?

She's overdue,

reflexology can help,

sure, go ahead,

I say.

Forty minutes

and

forty dollars

later

I am thinking

I  need to learn

Chinese.

Sirry Umelikens.

Random Nonsense from Scenes in My Life

We're in the last week of Dani's pregnancy.
I went with her to her midwife's appt. yesterday:
75% effaced, -2 station, fingertip open cervix, baby is dropped and engaged.

She's been having lotsa Braxton-Hicks waves today...so anytime would be fine.
Altho Mr Idaho would like her to wait until next week when he has a break from school. That's just funny, hunh?

My b-day was pretty nice. I was treated better than I deserve and am grateful for the sweet gifts from family and friends.

I am getting super excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas!  Already planning my menus--which brings me to this:  Anyone have some fun recipes for finger foods for a large group for Christmas Eve? Just leave it in the comments section or email me so I can post them for everyone to share!

I have started on Christmas presents...I love Christmas so much.  And what's really great is no wedding this year like the past two years previous!  But all of the kids will be here for sure!

Dara has turned into a rotten teenager.  Everyday I am tempted to take her to Nebraska and leave her there--like people did last year when it became legal to drop your unwanted kids off at hospitals without penalty.  But, she is asleep in her own bed tonight and I remind myself that she is #5 and we'll both live thru her teenage years.

Ari was in a play tonight about Mexico at school. Her smile lights me up. Which is probably saving Dara's life.
I'm waiting for the gal at Fort Hood to give me a specific address for these teddy bears....she must be super busy!

And that's it. I've got nuthin' else until Dani gives birth...thanks for listening.

5 Weeks and Counting Down!

Spoke to Dani last night
we talked all things
Baby.
The nursery is ready to go
she says.
The crib linens are on
the bassinet is ready
to lay a little head down
into it's wonderful softness.

She is feeling the weight of
Golden Boy's head on her
pelvic floor--
do you remember that?
I let her know that's normal.
He's settling in for the
journey of birth.

I can't wait to see his little face.
I see so many new little faces
coming into this world
I oooh and ahhh over them,
and then I hand them back
to their mommies and daddies.
This one,
this little Golden Boy
I can keep.
I'll be there when he comes into
this wonderful world
and I'll hold him and smell him in
and smooch those soft cheeks
I won't have to give him back--
"Cept when he poops.
Then I'll hand him back.

Oh, this is going to be
Good.

No Ordinary Baby Shower!

This is for all of the family and friends who don't get to see Danielle on a regular basis. 31 weeks pg...we went shopping for a cute maternity dress. She liked this one, but needed to find a top to wear under it, or over it...still got it, but I don't know if she's found a top to go with it yet. But isn't she just cute? Her Baby Shower was Saturday night, so the girlies and I went up early
that day and hung out in Golden.

Best sandwiches in town! Golden is just such a quaint town...lots to see and do!











Mr. Idaho's educational institution....

They live on Campus housing...this is a community center where we had the shower...



Okay...this is no ordinary Baby Shower Game...it was Jeopardy and I got more wrong than I got right!! Seriously, I stunk at it! The hostess really dug up some interesting facts about babies.

Dani in the kitchen with Katie--the chef & hostess....piping fresh cream onto those delicious cheese cakes freshly-made! She also made fettucine alfredo, pasta & pesto sauce, foccacia bread, and a huge salad.

She topped those with fresh raspberries! yum.

Ari by the gift table...3 couples went in together and got the swing, stroller and carseat combo!

Amazing! How sweet is that?

Some of her friends...

My girlies

Okay this is where it got ridiculous...I'm off to the side taking pics of Dani and gifts...


But watch for the two gals behind her...

the blonde starts it....






















I was laughing so hard, I could barely focus the camera!


Dani & her friends...she is one of 4 married, the only pregnant one. These gals were so fun and thoughtful!