Women of Character-- A Book Review

The best books in my personal library are non-fiction.

Those that I can relate to, 

while also being uplifted and inspired 

to be more

 and do more 

with the gifts and talents

however obvious or obscure

I have been blessed with.

In "Women of Character"

by Susan Easton Black and Mary Jane Woodger

I feel as though I have been at a delightful banquet

feasting upon the most delicious food for thought

as the two writers share

page after page

after page

the beautifully written biographies of 

women that span generations--

from pioneer days to these present days--

who they were,

how they lived,

and the noble legacies they left 

or are leaving behind.

My favorite?

That would be tough to choose,

for I feel a little akin to most of them 

in one way or another.

As though we have met before--

perhaps because I've met so many lovely, noble women

throughout my life,

women who have blessed my life in meaningful ways--

it is easy to feel akin to the chosen subjects of this book.

As my friend Nan says,

she could easily name 100 women she knows personally

and write a similar book.

I will say, I was so delighted to read more about

Zina Diantha Huntington Young.

She's my children's Gr-gr-gr Grandmother

on their father's side.

I rocked my first baby, David Scott,

in her rocking chair

before it was donated to the Beehive House

years ago.

She was known for her great compassion

which was manifested by her studies in medicine,

home nursing and midwifery;

eventually helping to establish Deseret Hospital in Salt Lake City,

and serving on the hospital board there.

In the book it noted that 

"Zina's greatest accomplishment, however, 

was her service in the Relief Society general presidency."

Zina served as the President for thirteen years.

She was also called as the Temple matron at the same time!

I may not be directly related to Zina,

or any other "wom[an] of character" named in the book,

but I am inspired by their examples

and feel a greater hope that I too,

by my words and deeds can do my best

in my own little corner of the world,

with whatever talents and abilities the Lord has blessed me with,

can make a difference.

This book is a treasure,

and I'm very grateful to Nan,

who gave it to me.

****

If you'd been asked by the authors to name a "Woman of Character",

whom would you say?

Winner Announced!

The Caboose chose the winner of the Eyre's newly released book,
5 Spiritual Solutions for Everyday Parenting Challenges
by choosing a random number between 1-23--
she chose commenter number 7:

"Our little family said...

I love all their books I have read. I could really use some spiritual guidance in my parenting. So hard to remember to ask for help when I'm caught up in the emotion of the day to day nitty gritty of parenting."

Thanks to everyone who joined in and shared their thoughts!

I'll be hosting another giveaway from Deseret soon,
as well as one from CNS Stores--
so be on the lookout for that!

Thanks again to Deseret for sponsoring this awesome giveaway
for the Eyre's beautiful book!

5 Spiritual Solutions for Everyday Parenting Challenges--Book Review & Giveaway

"We didn't create our children;

they come as who they are

from a Father who entrusts us

with stewardship for them."  

~ R. & L. Eyre

New York Times #1 Bestselling Authors
Richard and Linda Eyre
have a new book out:

I was invited to read and review this book,

and just received it two days ago.

I've never met the Eyre's in person,

but I've known them for all of my parenting years--

that's 27 years and counting,

as their books have always been a part of my quest

to be a better, happier parent.

So when I was contacted about their latest offerings,

I was very humbled at the opportunity.

I'm not finished with this book yet--

it's hard to read through tear-filled eyes,
did you know that?
Each page is so entirely complete in it's presentation,
that you don't just skim through them,
you inhale them...
slowly and deeply...
soaking the truths into your very core.

It's not just about Parenting your children,
it's about who we are as Eternal families,
and how knowing that truth
and understanding it more fully,
helps us embrace our roles with Clarity,
Purpose and Love.

I didn't even get through the prologue
without tears, seriously.

I sat in my room,
and read the book outloud
because I wanted to hear the words
ring in my own ears.

I brought my almost 16 year old up,
and read some pages to her,
and again
to my 20 year old
and again to my husband, Mr. Wonderful.

The power that is in the Eyre's message
is palpable.
You will find yourself nodding in agreement while you read;
you'll get goosebumps on your arms,
tingling at the crown of your head,
lumps in your throat,
and Joy,
absolute JOY
in your whole body while you read
and swallow up their beautiful, sacred message.

My copy isn't going to be pretty--
it's getting dog-eared,
highlighted,
tear-stained
and shared!
That's when you know it's a GREAT book, right?

Deseret Book has graciously offered a lovely copy of
5 Spiritual Solutions for Everyday Parenting Challenges
by Richard and Linda Eyre
to one of YOU.

So here's the deal to enter the Giveaway:

Leave a Comment relative to this Giveaway.

That's it.
You can tell everyone you know about it too, if you want.
I want every parent in the Universe to own this book!!
You may get your own copy at Deseret Book, too.
You need this book.
Your kids need this book.
Your friends and neighbors and everyone whose ever been a child
needs it.

Now, if you'll excuse I've got to get back to it!

* I was not paid for this review, only given a copy of it for my review and one to share. For which, I am entirely grateful.  Thank you!

Book Reviews: "The Wednesday Letters" and "Catholic Roots, Mormon Harvest"

Nana told me to read
"The Wednesday Letters"--
she said I'd love it.
So I did.
Read it, I mean.
I did not love it.
It was okay and the message was not predictable.
But
meh
I don't know. It ended so weird that I had to re-read the ending
to make sense of it.  And then I made Mr Wonderful listen to me
sorta "de-brief" my self.
Can't say I'd recommend it to anyone.


"Catholic Roots, Mormon Harvest"
was written by Eric Shuster,
born and raised in the Catholic Church,
by parents who were devoutly Catholic--
working for the San Francisco diocese
among other things.
Eric also worked for the Catholic Church
and most importantly,
loved that faith with it's heritage and rich traditions
for most of his life.
His wife, used to be a Franciscan Nun,
no kidding,
before they met of course.
She graduated Magna Cum Laude from
the University of Saint Thomas
with a degree in Catholic Theology.

The book details their love of Catholicism
and the how's, why's and wherefores
of their eighteen-month conversion to
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
I have enjoyed reading this book very much.
The Shusters do not bash the faith of their fathers,
but show how they took from their roots all the best
that was there
and joined it with
the Mormon faith.
It is about as honest as can be...
and I can say that because I know these two wonderful people.
Eric and Marilyn are in our Stake.
They are loving, vibrant, knowledgeable about the Gospel
moreso than many LDS are--
they had alot to lose with their conversion,
so you bet they brought everything to the table
and in this book,
Catholic Roots, Mormon Harvest
they show that process in detail.
Lovely book
and I would recommend it to anyone.

Book Review: The Roadshow by Braden Bell

I am a Reader...
I will read just about anything--
if you could peek at my bookcase
you would see that I have books about
nearly every topic.
Parenting Books --which I wish so much I could memorize.
Gospel Books--that have highlighted and folded-down pages.
Poetry from Shakespeare to Shel Silverstein.
Gardening, Home Staging, Doula and Midwifery manuals
to
Dog training books--which, I must say, are nearly useless with
every dog I've ever had.
And then there's the few novels I've read--
most are actually memoirs,
my favorite kind of books:
"The Prizewinner of Defiance, Ohio",
"Change Me into Zeus' Daughter"
are good ones,
but so is
"I Love You, Ronnie: the Letters of Ronald Reagan to Nancy Reagan".


I'm not crazy about fictional novels...
I read the Twilight series in a weekend
and then
forgot 99% of it...
totally forgettable to me.
I prefer fact over fiction most days.
But I'd heard alot of  great buzz about this:

So, when author Braden Bell asked me if I'd be interested in reading and reviewing his creative baby,
"The Roadshow",
I jumped at the chance!
This isn't just a novel...which is today enjoyed and tomorrow shelved or donated in a stack of
paperbacks to Goodwill.
This is so much more than that.
It was more than I expected.
Better than I expected...
each page was important to the story,
there was no
skimming over sentences,
jumping pages,
contrived phrases or out-of-ordinary characters.
I read each page as though it was out of a
personal journal that
each of the five main characters
had written themselves.
The words were as authentic
as the emotions.
I saw myself
and people I love
in black letters
between lines and pages.
I found myself echoing what I read:
"I know that. I've been there."
It's not about flamboyant, ridiculous characters
in a fantasy setting.
It's about real people in real life
and you will see your own reflection through
Braden Bell's eyes.
"The Roadshow" helps to inspire me
to look beyond the outward appearance
of my neighbor,
and serve them with a more purposeful attitude;
to see them with loving eyes
as I hope my Savior looks upon me.

Braden Bell was inspired to write this,
and it will be a favorite on my bookshelf
for years to come!
It is available on thru Amazon  Books.

Thanks to Braden Bell for asking me to participate in his blog book tour.
A total privilege and blessing for me.

Book Review: The Continuous Atonement by Brad Wilcox~ Part One~

I first heard "The Continuous Atonement"
at Brigham Young University's Women's Conference.
His message was uplifting, inspiring and spoke to my heart
in such a way,
that when I saw this book at Walmart,
there was no question I had to have it.

Sometimes, we get conflicting messages
about Repentance and Forgiveness...
just recently in Sunday School,
we were discussing Samuel and Saul and David--
Old Testament stuff.
Sister Lovable was talking about Saul's falling away--
that he took it upon himself to do the offerring at the Temple,
because Samuel wasn't there,
and when Samuel returned,
he let Saul know he shouldn't have done that ordinance
because he didn't have the authority to do it.
And then,
Saul did it again.
Sr. Lovable said,
The Lord had had enough--two strikes and Saul was OUT."

I sat there for a moment,
processing what she'd said,
and it struck my heart so
that I raised my hand and said,
"Can we back up just a second? I want to make sure we understand
that the Lord did not turn his back on Saul, but that Saul turned away from Him.
The scriptures say "As many times as my people will repent, I will forgive them."

We talked about that for a few seconds,
I saw heads nodding in agreement with my two cents.

I made my comment outloud in the classroom
because one of the greatest tools of the Adversary
is that of discouragement.
He wants us to think that God is limited in His love for us.
That as we learn and evolve,
we are on a time-limit--
or that He is not a Patient God...
that if we mess up once
we can recieve forgiveness
BUT
if we mess up again
and again--
that HE is just as disappointed in US
as we are
and He'll give up on us just as we are tempted to give up
on ourselves.
That
is
a
Lie.
As Brad Wilcox shows again
and again
using scriptures and testimonies of Prophets,
we have been redeemed from all sins
that's plural--
through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
We can go to the Savior
as many times as we need to
even
seventy times seven
as we seek to make our weaknesses
our strengths.
Repentance is a process
not a one time thing
for many of the worldly tests we face.

Look for Part 2 next Wednesday.

Growing Season in the Winter

We've had a long winter.

Already.

And it's March.

We still have at least two and half months of winter left

here in Colorado Springs.

There's snow on the ground,

and nothing is growing.

Except for some rampant crankiness

around here.

Weeping

wailing

gnashing of teeth...

whinage

and

tears.

When

                                                                 "guys, knock it off"

"be kind."

"Show your best."

and

"seriously, you guys have to stop."

--didn't work,

I had to

"dig deep", as Emily* says.

Mahatma Ghandi said

"Be the change you want to see."

What I wanted to see was everyone

being kinder

using their soft voices

being more positive.

I started reading

"MORE HOLINESS GIVE ME"

by Robert Millet.

How fitting.

And how completely uplifting!

In the attitude of

seeking things "of good report and praiseworthy",

I share these:

"The nearer we get to our heavenly Father,

the more we are disposed to look with compassion on perishing souls;

we feel that we want to take them upon our shoulders,

 and cast their sins behind our backs."~Joseph Smith

"One way we know we are growing spiritually, maturing in the qualities of holiness, and preparing ourselves to be with our Maker is the extent to which we become more and more sensitive to people--

to their plight, to their challenges, to their silent strugglings. " ~ R. Millet.

"It is not well for a man to pray cream and live skim milk." ~ Henry W. Beecher

"There is now before us a danger that many may pray skim milk and live that not at all." ~Howard W. Hunter

"Just as our lives are only as good as our prayers, so our prayers are only as good as our lives. That is, the more faithful we become in keeping the Lord's commandments and putting first things first in our lives, the more we open the doors of communication with the heavens and the more comfortable we feel with holy things and holy beings." ~ R. Millet

"Peace is a sure and solid sign from God that the heavens are pleased." ~ R. Millet

As I read these passages and many others,

I have made a more concentrated effort to

center

myself.

Use a softer voice.

Turn off the TV

turn on uplifting music--

and I have to say that while

classical truly does "feel" better,

once I turn on

sacred music*

the Spirit turns my home

into a sanctuary.

Use kinder words when I speak.

Praise more.

Chasten less.

Work alongside the children.

Be more positive myself.

Mr. Wonderful has been home

for dinner

most nights again.

Gosh, I missed him.

We really love having him home--

his time away made us appreciate him more.

The hugs are tighter.

The smiles are smily-er.

Let your words be filled with Love

and taste like Honey.

I came up with that

one morning

a month ago

while thinking

"What can I write that will make a difference in my family?"

Pondering that thought,

and making a few changes around MY home--

(it is MY home,

Mother is the heart of the home,

you know that, right?)--

for good,

has been

Great

for all of us.

Turns out,

you can have some growth in the winter afterall.

*Emily is the Midwife Assistant I've worked with--it's what she says to laboring moms, when they think they can't go on.

*sacred music for me is the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Hillary Weeks, Cherie Call, and other spiritual singers.

Back! By Poplier Demand!

More Affirmations for Cynics---

Today I will see the bad in everything so as not to get my hopes up.

Today I will equate material possesions with love.

I have the right to belong nowhere.

Today I will question my own authority.

Tonight, by moonlight, I will rake my leaves into my neighbor's yard.

The next time I want attention, I will intentionally

load my grocery cart with unpriced items that are on special.

Pessimism is the only practical, realistic way to look at life.

I am not responsible and should never be treated as such.

Today I will pick out one physcial flaw in everyone I see.

I have a right to financially and emotionally suck my parents dry.

Today I will act on a paranoid thought.

Today I will practice looking forlorn.

  and one more:

I accept that I am a humorless wretch.

I feel so much better now, don't you?

p.s. yes I know "popular' is mis-spelled.

Affirmations for Cynics

Mr Wonderful can be facetious

curmudgeonly

and at times,

cynical.

I bought this book for him:

It rebels against pop-psychology,

says therapists aren't worth what they cost,

and advises the reader to embrace the energies

of anger, revenge, remorse,

and letting self-pity fill your soul.

This

is a

funny 

book.

And I quote some "affirmations":

Today I will create a crisis situation so I can really feel alive.

Extreme mood swings are my goal for the day, as they are so invigorating.

Today I will surround myself with unhealthy people so that I may feel superior to them.

Today I will lie in bed and wallow in self-pity.

Today I will practice playing the victim with my friends and co-workers.

I have the hardest life.

Today I will provoke a loved one's anger just to assure myself that I still have an effect on him or her.

I have a right to be dysfunctional.

Today I will practice  keeping secrets from loved ones.

Today I will buy high-watt light bulbs for my bathroom

so I can better obsess over my wrinkles.

Today I will consciously repeat a destructive pattern from my past.

Today I will make my significant other mind-read my feelings.

I acknowledge that winter's darkness traps me in my house.

I will ignore my needs today.

and to end on a happy note:

I accept that others control my happiness.

TA-DA!

Now think about this...are you guilty of any of these?

I am guilty as charged, but I can be better~!

You can tell alot about a person by what they read

Remember that oh-so-fun trip to the library last week? I actually did pick up some books for moi. When I got home and looked at my booty, it occured to me I need help. Apparently in alot of different areas of my life.

One of the books is called "Getting Along with Almost Anyone"...it's a personality profiler that was kinda interesting-- I learned nothing new about myself tho I did my own "profiling" of Mr W and a few of my friends and yahoos...which may or may not be scientific but still provided "AH-HA" moments. Reading a profile and thinking "Who do I know like that?" was way fun....got to read about all their good and bad...in the end it was more fun than I thought. (Oh, couldn't find it online to show the cover--and it looks like I'm the first one to check it out...so either its a brand new book or --not. So I chose a smiley face to represent the cover, cuz who can't get along with a smiley?)

Because I'm losin' my stinkin mind, I tell you. I've cracked this open just a couple of times, and if I could remember, I'd read it more often. It talks about little tricks to help recall things, diet, exercise and other stuff I can't remember. Works real good.

A comedy. Very funny. Sometimes too gritty for me. I want to grow old gracefully like Marjorie Hinckley, not like Joan Rivers. (Who, b-t-w, grates on my nerves like chalk on a chalkboard! Absolutely no class whatsoever. I can't figure out why she is even a celebrity. Seriously, my 9 year old is funnier, classier, & cuter than her. just sayin.)
Not a novel, but a fun how-to-age and still be relevant in your own mind read.

Another comedy. And it's not potty-humor. I really like Dave Barry's writing style. It makes me laugh outloud. Especially when he talks about his family. Cracks me up! Plus, he writes for the Miami Herald, my native hometown. He gets points for that. He's not as funny as Bill Bryson, but they didn't have any of his books, or that I could focus on finding because by the time I got to this aisle the kiddos already had 52 books they were hauling around and wanted to go. So I grabbed this one.

I like their show. I like them. My body went from being a "wear whatever I want" kinda body, to a "I hate to shop" body. I need help with this. They're both pretty funny, and always right about looking great. I have a secret wish that someone I know would write these guys and have them film me in my "mom-duds" around town, then come to my house for an "intervention" and force me to throw out every stinkin peice of clothing I own for brand new designer duds. I would NOT be like some of the ninnies they have on there that cry about tossing out their old wardrobe, or bawl about "the long day of shopping" and "sticking to the rules"!! BAH!!! I'd be like, "Let's get this show on the road! Whadda we waitin' for???" Then go get my makeover and show up at a party to shock my family--who would absolutely be shocked that my "mom jeans" have given way a chic, sophisticated look--I mean, seriously, someone call and tattle on me! I won't hold a grudge! Hand me that 5k charge card and I won't look back!

Because I have 3 more kids to get ready for college. I need more help being a "cheerleader" with knowledge than a drill sargent with passion. I've got to get these kids ready for college so I don't end up in a trailer park someday but at some old folks villa in the south of France. That's what I'm talkin about.

So that's my loot. No novels. No outright fiction. Mostly how-tos--dont' get me wrong I own some novels...I used to like Nicholas Sparks until he hired someone else to write for him. jk. I don't know, but his originality is long gone. I'm staing at my bookcase, searching for a work of fiction...oh! there they are...like 4 books of fiction. (Jane Austen, Shakespeare, C.S. Lewis, Jerry Seinfeld) What does that say about me?? Is there something wrong? Is there a How-To book for this?? "How to love fantasy writing in one week or less" "How to really get into romance novels by chapter 3"....I don't know. But, I think I might go find that memory book if I can remember where I put it. Or maybe I could write my own email to Clinton and Stacy, whaddya think?

Forgiving Ourselves ~~Ch.3~~

Receiving The Gift
"For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift? Behold, he rejoices not in that which is given him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift." D&C 88:33

This Chapter was one that has made a lasting effect on me. Because I have made mistakes, even sins in my life, I have struggled to get past them, allowing the true peace of the Atonement into my life...to permeate my heart. Even after doing all I could to make proper amends, I felt that if I didn't continually apologize for my errors, then I wasn't truly repentant. And because some of mistakes affected others, it seemed appropriate to let them hang it over my head. Afterall, I had hurt them. Even tho I had done all I could to do better and be better, if they wanted to point a finger at me and place blame on me for something in their own lives that was affected by my choices--I felt they had the right to do that. Their accusations would sting my heart, but if that's what they needed to do to forgive me then okay. I counted my pain insignificant to theirs.

I. was. wrong.
That behavior served no good purpose, as is spelled out in this chapter. A few of the passages that confirm this to me:

Self-Forgiveness:
*Shows others what it means to be both a fallen mortal and a faithful believer.
*Sets an example for those we love so they will know they can forgive themselves too.
*People we love can learn about self-forgiveness by seeing us take responsiblity for our errors, make sincere apologies and changes, and then LET GO. They benefit from hearing us say, "I feel so bad about that, and I've done what I can to make it right. Please forgive me."
*When I can find compassion for the wounded, blinded, and disappointing aspects of myself, I can be more empathetic with those same qualities in others. I can better offer others forgiveness and better receive the forgiveness they offer me."
* Self-forgiveness steers us away from depression, anxiety, anger, and resentment, all of which canker relationships.
* Sets us free from our pre-occupations with our weaknesses so we can concentrate on contributing our strengths.

Self-Forgiveness Benefits Us:
*We don't have to be better, stronger, busier, more important, or more self-sacrificing than others in order to compensate for our enormous failures, all the while believing that we can never really succeed at these bigger-than-life things because we have already proven our badness. When we can receive the forgiveness God offers us, it can be enough to allow us to do ordinary things without trying to be superman or superwoman. We can take satisfaction and pleasure in commonplace goodness.

And then the chapter goes on about the difference between Shame and Guilt...and what they can teach us, both negatively and positively.
*Shame is akin to embarrassment...being late to dinner, putting our elbows on the table, burping in public...nothing inherently wrong in our character.
Excessive Shame is a precursor to self-hatred...causes depression, withdrawal from family, friends, and suffocates our true self, making us want to hide.
* Guilt is what responsible people feel when they both know they have done something wrong and believe this wrongdoing does not represent who they truly are or what they truly value. Guilt motivates us to repent--to change, confess, reconcile with those we've hurt, and distance ourselves from our wrong behavior instead of from other people.
* Normal shame can motivate us to be sensitive to others' expectations and not become a law unto ourselves.
*Healthy guilt must be endured if we are to both uphold our own ideals and keep trying when we fall short.

The entire chapter is full of directive inspiration and Hope--something we all need as we live and move thru this life's journey, right? I know. I need Hope every day of every week. And I need to teach my children to be Hopeful, to know the difference between Guilt & Shame, Self-Forgiveness and Repentance...because Satan is a puke. He is indeed the Father of all Lies...his biggest lie is that our Father in Heaven doesn't love us as much as He says He does...that His love is not Open for us all, that is it limited instead of limitless. And thus, Satan, that old liar, pokes at us, and whispers in our ear there is no hope for us...utter hogwash.
Wendy's final thoughts on this Chapter:
I can imagine someone who struggles to really receive God's mercy thinking " Swell, I'm so imperfect that I'm even imperfect at being imperfect. Now I just feel guilty that I continue to feel guilty!" YES-- we are imperfect even at accepting being imperfect. SO this is as good a thing as any to practice not berating ourselves for. Instead we should humbly accept our imperfection as a weakness of the mortal condition that we may struggle with. And even in this God can show us mercy and love. Even this we are given room to grow into. Even in our failure to receive His mercy for our failures, He will gently lead us along, blessing us and those we love."

Forgiving Ourselves~~Ch.2~~

Defining Self-Forgiveness.

"Behold ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth. Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me; and none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost." D&C 50:40-42

This chapter defines the significant difference between sin and weakness. Because knowing the difference makes all the difference in how we understand the Atonement and how to live in peace.

My fav passages:

*talking about the Power of the Atonement,Boyd K. Packer 11/95 Gen. Conf:

"Restoring what you cannot restore, healing the wound you cannot heal, fixing that which you broke and cannot fix is the very purpose of the atonement of Christ.

When your desire is firm and you are willing to pay the "uttermost farthing", the law of restitution is suspended. Your obligation is transferred to the Lord. He will settle your accounts.

I repeat, save for the exception of the very few who defect to perdition, there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no apostasy, no crime exempted form the promise of complete forgiveness. This is the promise of the atonement of Christ."

* Excessive self-blame is as problematic as insufficient self-blame because excessive self blame tempts us to give up on ourselves. It reduces us to the lowest common denominator of our most despicable moments.

*We can fail ourselves or others out of either sin or weakness. The distinction between the two is very important b/c sin and weakness have entirely different authors....Satan is the author of Sin...which is described in the scriptures as willful disobedience or rebellion. Weakness can lead to sin, but weakness in itself is not sin. In fact, God is the author of human weakness. We are weak by design, as part of the mortal experience. We are to come to God & prayerfully ask Him to show us our weakness...then humble ourselves and seek God's grace.

*Sin requires us to do an about-face and return to God, while weakness calls for gradual improvement as we learn and grow. We can be weak and still have our heart in the right place with God.

* Forgiveness helps us overcome the effects of sin; grace helps us to do good despite our human weakness.

*God reproves us when we sin but comforts, relieves, and helps us in our weakness.

*We can measure the degree of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance we allow by noticing how we talk to ourselves about our sin and weakness. We can learn to refute or ignore our negative self-talk and increase our genuine empathy and compassion for ourselves.

I enjoyed the whole chapter actually and continue to be amazed at the questions I didn't know I needed to seek the answers to...Sr. Ulrich asked and shares the answers so completely. I am grateful.

Forgiving Ourselves ~Ch.1~

FORGIVING OURSELVES by Wendy Ulrich

Introduction:
The Story of the Widow's Son (1 Kings 17) I have had many moments in my own life, not recently, but still, where I wondered if I have been forgiven of the weak choices I have made--asking the question, Is the Atonement for ME? I can see Christ's Atonement covering everyone else's sins, generally, but MINE...well, I should have known better, I made a selfish choice, I knew better...maybe I don't deserve His forgiveness. At least not right now. Not today. Not until I have suffered enough to deserve it."

The passages that spoke to my heart:
*"We can learn to more grace-fully adapt to life in the schism between our celestial ideals and our earthly limitations." (Thank you...I need to remember that principal and not be unrealistic about my limitations.)
* "As we learn by our own experience that God tells us the truth and that competing versions of reality will fail us in the end, we come to profoundly trust him." (I have had alot of experiences that tell me that He is indeed my Father, and knows what will truly bring me joy.)

* "We accept that regret and sorrow over our sins and errors are part of the price we pay to participate in that plan." ( The law of Free Agency is my gift.)

ALMA THE YOUNGER (Alma 36):

*of note:*"A harrow is a farming instrument for turning over the soil, breaking it up and tearing it open so something new can grow there." ( I never knew that...it sounds hopeful!)

*"What can deliver people from the pain of seeing the harm they have done? Only the hope that it can be repaired. Christ can save not only [Alma] but also all those he has hurt."(that's the kind of sin that burdens us most...when it affects others.)

*"There is a time for harrowing, but that time is before, not after the tender seeds of faith and repentance have begun to sprout. We need not continue to harrow ourselves after we have changed our mind, heart, and behaviour and glimpsed God's grace." (Thank you.)

*"Sometimes we also long for that chosen status out of fear that we cannot really be loved by God unless we too are flawless." [like Jesus Christ] In contrast, the Savior humbly offers to share with us all that He has. He acknowledges that we too have a difficult path to walk in mortality. He did His job so we could do ours."(Learning and doing my part.)

*"Self-forgiveness requires a mature understanding of the purpose of life, which is not to get back to God in the same state of innocence and purity we were in when we left Him. Rather our charge here is to learn the compassion, humility, discipline, and understanding of good and evil that come only with experience and risk, failure and resilience. Our charge is to get back to God much, much wiser and better than when we left Him, something we can accomplish only through travelling the bruising, bloodying roads of mortal temptaion, affliction, and periodic failure as well as the roads of triumph, satisfaction and ultimate joy."(This helps me to not only see my role differently as a daughter, but also as a wife and mother.)

*"We are not here to be quiet, but to learn to make the beautiful music of endless creativity and life."( I LOVE this...it speaks to my soul and gives me permission to live life outloud!)

*"Christ is the Great Redeemer --not the Great Preventor." (Again, I can trust in the Atonement.)

IN this first Chapter, our basic beliefs are sorted out...fact and fiction...and the peeling away of fictitious thoughts/beliefs was freeing for me. For my heart. And by doing so, helps me to see others in a different light as well.

SO my Book Club sisters, PLEASE share all of your thoughts and the passages that touched your heart! And if there's another way to do this better, speak up!

Does everyone have their book?

So, I'm ready if you are. I've belonged to book clubs before, but not an online one...so all suggestions are welcomed and encouraged so we can get the most from this experience!

If you've got your book, let's start the 1st Chapter! You will love this book, I promise.

Book Club Invite!

So I got this book, I read it. I loved it. LOVE it! So much, I am reading it again. But this time, I'd really like company while I read it, so I am inviting YOU, anybody, Special Person to read this with me.
I thought we'd go Chapter by Chapter together and discuss it, real friendly-like (My only Mayberry RFD reference) and see if I can get this message to stick to my brain cells when it seems most everything else is slipping out.
The Author, Wendy Ulrich, is on the Speaking tour of TIME OUT FOR WOMEN...she is that AWESOME. She was also my son's Mission President's Wife...the Mission Mom. I love her book so much because it changes me when I read it. Did ya hear? It changes me. That's big.
SO go get it and let me know if you're gonna get it. Because for the next week or so, that's what I am blogging about.
C'mon...You know you want to!

Junie B. Jones

So I know I was asking about a "good read" and all...then my 2nd grader brought this book home for us to read "together"...and I'd forgotten how much I love Junie B. Jones when I was a Teacher's Assistant last year. I have listened to and read with, 26 different second graders all last year, the Junie B. Jones books. That's alot. And I love listening to little kids read. So the Caboose and I started reading it, and I found it so delightful, I just kept on reading, even after she left for school. So maybe next week I'll attack some work of literary genius, but until then, I've just gotta find out what Junie is gonna end up doing to whom, In Room One, First Grade.

What's so Good about being a Parent Anyway??

So I'm reading the news headlines and come across this story, maybe you've read it too, about the Dad who was arrested because he was trying to sell his teenage daughter for a case of beer. (I didn't read the story, just the headline.)
I was utterly disgusted about it. Really, I was. Then, and this is embarassing, I admit--while the missionaries were teaching Taylow tonight about eternal families...somehow we got the giggles--I think it started because someone made a crack about wanting eternal families, but not so much when our sweet children become teenagers! And before I knew it, I shared the headline about the dad selling his teenager for a case of beer. Okay yeah, it was repugnant, preposterous, and a disgusting reality...but in my head, at that moment, I laughed and said "My kids are WORTH so much more than a case of beer! I'd want at least a new car for Nana!"

Then, I was reading a Book Review for " No Kids: 40 Reasons for Not Having Children" by french author Corrinne Maier. The author, a mother herself, sited some of her reasons for not having children: Some include: "childbirth is torture, children will destroy your time and your freedom, and you will inevitably be disappointed by your child."

Then the reveiwer shared her reasons for having her own children:
"What makes people interesting is what they endure. Pain. Fear. Sadness. Disappointment. Loss. All these things parents will endure in varying degrees throughout their lifetime and that of their child.Does parenting bring great joy? It certainly can. But there is never a guarantee that the joy will outweigh the pain. To be a parent is to introduce an excruciating element of risk into your life. It is to create something that can either elevate you or completely destroy you.
And she ended with this:
"It has to do with a Chinese proverb that my father often quotes: Don’t pray for a happy life, pray for an interesting one.And so in answer to Ms Maier’s book of witty and spot-on reasons why you shouldn’t have children, I will offer just one reason why you should have children.Because it will make your life more interesting."

So all of this got me to thinking. What would I say are the Pros and Cons of being a Mother?

So here's a short list of Cons:

*I haven't slept in since 1983.

*My waistline disappeared after baby #6 and hasn't been seen since. My waist used to be shaped like an hour-glass but now resembles a goldfish bowl.

*I've spent more money on toys than I have on anything I ever wanted. Collectively, that is, only to be told by my subordinates that "there's nothing to do."

*My heart walks outside of my body at all times. And sometimes, it gets in cars with other teenagers who don't buckle up or drive the speed limit. And other times, it doesn't look when crossing the street. And there's nothing I can do about it.

*I'm "on alert" 24/7...ready with a bandaid, a hug, a lap, a teary eye, whatever.

*My cellphone is nothing more than a ball on an invisible chain. I cannot leave the house more than 10 minutes without it ringing:''Hello?" "Mom?" "Yeah?" "Where are you?" "I'm at Albertsons/WalMart/Costco/Target--didn't you ask [someone at home] where I was?" "When are you coming back?" "Well, let's see, it's um 4 o'clock Tuesday right now...yeah, I'm lookin' at Thursday of next week. Be good, don't play with scissors or knives, change your underwear, brush your teeth, and stay out of the fridge until I get back, ok?"

*Oh, and I never get the last glass of juice. Or the last cookie. Last anything. But there's always a single drop of juice left in the container, in the fridge. And for reasons only aliens understand, a half of a cookie is left in the package on the pantry shelf.

*When I go to the above Stores...I have to ask Myself, OUTLOUD: "What day is it" What's my name?" when filling out a check.

Those are just a few of my CONS.

Now onto the PROS of Motherhood:

*Having 7 children, six of whom are expected to grow into mature, responsible (there's still some mystery about a few) adults, I figure I have a one-in-six chance of not being put in an Old Folks' home.

*My bread never turns moldy, nor does the milk go sour. It doesn't last that long.

*I don't have to EVER ask for extra cash at the check-out. My kids smell cash on me like a bear after hibernation smells--smells--well, smells anything edible.

*I get to drive a big honkin' '02 Suburban with 9 passenger seating and yell at other drivers in the guise of protecting my "life's treasures" (aka kiddos)...and feel totally justified. Whereas, if I drove a sporty lil coupe, I would feel guilty and have to repent.

*I'm never alone. Ever. "cept in the bathroom. (wait, is this on the right list?)

*My teenage daughters tell me if I'm dressing like a "granny" or if I'm lookin' "super frumpy" to the point that they send me back to my room to change clothing, so I don't embarass myself. Or is it so I don't embarass them?

*Ok ok, I got a few more good ones: I'm more patient. Less selfish. I can cook enough food for a small country. I know all the words to the book, "Love You Forever" by heart. I can sing "eensy weensy spider" when I am dead-tired, on my feet, rocking back and forth in the middle of the night. I can find tiny little people shoes so fast I should be listed in the Guiness World Record book. In fact, my uterus is a tracking device, just as that kinda yucky comedienne, Rosanne, says it is. I know all the Episodes of He-Man, Carebears, Sailor Moon, Sesame Street from 1983-2003, Barney songs, Bear in the Big Blue House, Blues Clues, She-Ra, and all the Spice Girls songs. Plus, as the TV says, MUCH MUCH MORE!

* I can take a shower, wash and dry my hair and get fully dressed in a half hour. Sometimes, it must be noted, I may have forgotten to put on my bra before my shirt, or my slip or walked out the door in my houseslippers or even forgotten to put mascara on BOTH eyes before I leave--but hey- I'm out the door, and that's all I'm saying.

* I can change diapers with my eyes closed.

* I can say "NO" in different languages.

* I can cook dinner, listen to a child practice piano, while another child reads to me outloud, take a phone call about Scouts, unload the dishwasher, and toss in a load of laundry simultaneously. Booyah!

* I can text b/c I have teenagers.

* I can see blood, urine, vomit, spit-up (baby vomit), and poop and not actually gag.

* My child can say "MOM" 50 different ways and I can tell what they're feelin' or what they're after.

So there you have it. A short view into my otherwise un-INTERESTING LIFE. My kids do make me more interesting. They are the legacy I will leave behind. My life's work. And whatever it costs to make their lives worthwhile is worth the cost. They have taught me more about my strengths and weaknesses than a new car ever could.

Don't tell my kids how good I've got it, k?

Shanks.

What about you? Is your kid worth a Ford or a years' supply of diet Pepsi? Share your thoughts!

Bloggerville, Lend me Your Ear!, er, Book!

Okay, so I am in need of your help--any of you out there in bloggerville--puhleeeze.

I have reached the time in my life where I have, dare I even say it?--free time! That's right! I have time to do whatever I want and it is utterly amazing. Oh, and please please PUH LEEZE don't tell me to do Geneaology. That's work. I may change my mind at some point in time, but for right now that's just. more. work.
So I've been thinking I need to broaden my horizons. I'd been reading Nicholas Sparks books, and they were charming up until this last book where, by the end of the book, I could've cared less if the two main characters had pulled guns and shot each other. So, here it is. I'm puttin' it out there...give me a really good suggestion for a really good read.
Don't leave me hanging. If I don't get my hands on a great book soon, I may have to resort to coupon clipping or geneaology. Don't make me do it.
Put your suggestions in the comment below!!!!

Holy Places--Book Review

I received this book from one of my kiddos for Christmas. I love it.

The artwork and the stories are equally inspiring.

Weekend Whatevers

The breakfast Saturday went well.
So, after piano lessons, I found a quiet corner and started reading this book. I usually like N. Sparks books. I was excited to begin reading this one. And even though the first few chapters were "ugh" I kept reading...just waiting for it to get better. For a surprise twist or something. That never happened. It was predictable. Every stinkin' bit of it. Don't get me wrong, I love happy endings! But, oh this was so dissappointing. I finished it by the evening and felt like I wasted my time.









Sunday was Church of course. We were running late and didn't get to Church until 5 mins. till it started. That feels late to me. I hate being late. We like to get there about 25-15 minutes earlier than the meeting. That gives us a chance to get to our seats, say our "hellos", get stuff from the library if need be, and then just enjoy the prelude music and focus on why we are there. So, b/c we were late, we missed our favorite seats: the Second row. We've been sitting in the second row for a long long time. With a big family, we take up most of a row...and that also means I can't sit next to every child. So I need help. That help comes from the pulpit. Sitting where the kids can see the speaker clearly, see their emotions as they speak, helps them to feel the spirit.

My philosophy on this is simple: When our family decides to go to say, a movie or a sporting event, we leave to get there early ON PURPOSE so we can get good seats, go buy snacks, meet up with friends, watch the previews, etc., etc.,...Church meetings are more important than that.
And our conscious effort to make it mean more is reflected in our efforts to get there early and prepared.
As a result, we know we have to get up early enough, be prepared the night before (especially since our meetings are at 9am this year!), and leave in plenty of time. So we do. Only yesterday, my 13 yo lost track of time, and we left about 10 minutes later than usual. So we sat in the front row. Yeah, there's no going backwards for me, if I can help it. Front row is fine when Second row is taken.
A painful experience came when I was sitting with my class in Primary, and was handed the latest edition of our Ward's cookbook! At first I checked to see if my submissions were included and correct--then I perused through it and my mouth started watering and I became keenly aware that I had not eaten breakfast! What an awful thing!

Diana wasn't with us because she went to church with Taylow, at our suggestion. She said it was highly entertaining...there was alot of music with a 5 minute sermon and they were done!
Taylow is still planning on her baptism this Saturday, barring any contention with her dad.
Her Dad is coming around too. The missionaries taught her Saturday, at our home, and they promised her that her father will be at her baptism on Saturday. (that's called revelation, right there.) Then last night, Nana, Taylow and I went to witness a baptism. A young man from El Salvador was getting baptized and it was a sweet experience.
We also got Dani & Brad's proofs online and looked at all 400 of them. Twice. Picking out our favorites and laughing at the goofs. I'll post some when I am allowed to, as per the copyright of the photographer.

OH! And we got a call from the Executive Secretary last night. Yup, our family has been asked to speak on "Having Family Home Evening" in 2 weeks. We all laughed, and one of the kids said, "We better make sure we have it over the next two weeks!" smart aleck.


SO, WHAT DID YOU DO OVER THE WEEKEND???