A Unique Gift Idea-- with help from the Jr. League of Colorado!

For my oldest son's birthday
this year,
I was clueless as to what to give him.
I looked online for gadgets
I thought he might like;
I looked around at stores
I shop at regularly
like Target and Kohls--
nothing stood out though.

It all seemed like "stuff"--
and if you know me at all,
you know
I don't like to give just "stuff" as gifts
for the sake of giving.
It's gotta mean something.


Well last week I saw this at the grocery store
of all places

The Junior League of Colorado Classique Cookbook

I thumbed through the pages,
and fell in love with this cookbook!
The recipes are so "Coloradoan"
and the photography is beautiful enough to rip 'em out and frame!

But I don't have to tell you not to do that, right?
Don't.

So as I'm looking at this gorgeous book
I realize this would be a great gift for my grown manboy,
whose always cookin' something up in the kitchen!

I got it home,
drooled over the pages,
and an idea popped into my head:
Write In It.
Write personal notes to David Scott
all over it--
so I did.
Almost everydish was photographed on a white plate,
so on the edge of all those white plates,
I wrote love notes to my livin-in-Idaho-boy,
and I wrote "remember when" stories,
and I commented on the recipes themselves!

I just had so much fun
personalizing this cookbook!
My yahoos know I love Colorado.
If Colorado was a person,
I'd stalk it.
I love the mountains,
and the pines,
the weather,
and the natural beauty of the whole stinkin' State!
I'm addicted to it and I'm never lookin' fer a cure.
So it was like I gave a bit of "me" to my son,
and then added my scribbling all over it!
And, the bonus is that it's supporting the
Junior League of Denver--
women who are dedicated to strengthening
their community!
Gotta love that right?

I talked to my boy last night--
he got the cookbook and loves it!

So that's my new gift idea--
how simple and fun is that?!!

I think it could work on alot
of different types of books--
poetry books,
or FAR SIDE books or similar genre,
Fancy Calendars (you could write notes on special days!),
coffee table books of places you've been together,
or places you want to go,
the possibilities are endless--
you could even take a favorite book off your own bookshelf
and personalize it!
Think about it!

So that's my brilliant idea.
Only one confession here today:
David Scott's birthday was in August.

The Direct Benefit of Having a Whole Heapin' Buncha Yahoos

Last night was great fun with all of the yahoos kickin’ around the house.


Joseph adores his big brother David Scott; the two of them were huddled at the dinner table

looking at some new computer games on a laptop. David was 17 years old when Joseph was born—that’s right—a rotten teenager! As soon as he’d walk in from school though, I’d hand his grumbly self the baby and he’d go downstairs to his room and play his acoustic guitar while the baby lay on his bed. It was the start of a wonderful brotherly relationship.



We also oohed and ahhed over the Golden Child—who affects us like laughing gas—we have no control or semblance of maturity when it comes to this baby! Funny faces, exotic sounds, more energy was never put into a rocketship as that which we pull out for the sake of a toothless smile and a chubby giggle! As Nana says, “He is heaven.”



The conversation got around to Miss Tardypants…the older yahoos gave her a really hard time for not getting up on time for seminary and school—as David Scott said, “Was that even an option?” Oh yeah, I told them that they could give her as much grief about this as they wanted—

And boy, did they! They razzed her endlessly; gave me many ideas how to “cure” her tardiness—some involving paintballs & raw eggs, while the general consensus was to pour a large pitcher of ice cold water over her head. She tried protesting all of their ideas—even looked to me for pity—mwahaha—but I was bone-dry-empty of compassion. Imagine that!



We had a family devotional—during which Joseph f*rted and nearly cleared the room---noone wanted to kneel next to him during family prayer, which he thought was hilarious! Boys.

Then we packed up the Golden family, said our ‘good-byes-cya-laters’ and they left. Then everyone else peeled off and went to bed, except for David Scott and me cause we had some catching up to do.



I wondered what, if any effect, the razzing from her siblings would have on Daisie aka Miss Tardypants--

Guess what, chicken-butt? She got up this morning and was out the door ON TIME.

Pinch Me! No, Really, G'head!

So I was minding my own business,
doin' my mom-thang today--
ya know,
the usual--
cleanin'
runnin' errands like taking Oprah to the Vet,
thinkin' about what's-fer-dinner,
yada yada yada...

The yahoos came home from school
and they're playing with friends
when all of a sudden
the Boofus runs in and yells,
"Mom! Mom! Dani just drove by the house!"

"Whaaa? No way." I say.

"Yes, she did, but she didn't stop, she just drove right by the house!"

I'm thinking that he's mistaken
because Dani has a red two-door Blazer---
there's alot of those around, ya know?
The Boofus insists it was her.

So then I think,
maybe she's just coming to hang out with Nana
tonight,
maybe they have something going on
that I don't know about??

Whatever. If it was her, she'll be back in a minute.
Just about that time,
the doorbell rings.

I walk downstairs to answer it,
and there in front of me is
David Scott!!
From Boise!
All the way here
to surprise me!!

Oh yeah,
I screamed
n' bawled like a baby!
I was so surprised!!

He finished his semester in school
last week,
while his wife still has a week or two left of school
(She's a teacher)
so he just decided to hop a plane
and come home for a week!!

He'd planned it two weeks ago,
and only told Dani & Brad--
who have kept it a total secret from me!!!!!
They picked him up at the Denver airport
and drove him down here--
she said she drove past the house
when she saw all the kids
outside,
because they wanted to surprise the kids too.
Anyway...
it was the BEST!!!

You know,
someone once complimented me
on my children--
and I said to them,
"I know I'll be a successful Mother,
when my kids choose to come home and
visit me,
when they don't have to."

Seriously--
this just means so much to me.
I love my yahoos!

Look Ma! It's the Q-tip Monster!

Q-Tip Fail

He's married and has a job now.

David Scott, The Happy Wanderer

I am a cautious person by nature. David Scott is not. He is all-boy and always has been. If he is fearful, I've never seen it--except for his absolute fascination/terror of arachnids...spiders.

He used to say to me when he was little, "I am my own person, Mom." He meant that too. He cannot be talked into anything. If it's not his idea, he's not interested. And if his mind is set on something, he is committed to that idea unto death, or until the next good idea comes along.

When he was just 4 years old, I took him, Danielle, and Dean to the Metro Center Mall in Phoenix .Before we went, we'd stopped at their Granma's house where she gave back some play clothes from a former visit, which she had washed for me. (Remember this part.)

Once we got to the mall, we walked all over it...there's probably 1200 stores there. I'm not kidding. Well, exaggerating a little. More like 120 stores. Honestly, we used to go there ALOT because when you live in helk, you are always looking for a cool place, not "cool" as in a P-diddy/J-Lo kinda cool, but as in a "North Pole" kinda cool. So we went ALOT. I grew to know the names of my favorite clerks in Dillards, JCPenneys, Mervyns, and McDonald's...cuz I could never get out of that mall without having to buy 3 chicken-nugget kids' meals, with a sprite.

Anywho, on this day we were nearing the end of our visit, and I just needed to go into a Photo Shop to pick up some photos.

I had quite a contraption to get around with 3 kids under the age of Four. It was a stroller with a "handholder" strung thru it. A "handholder" was comprised of two velcro strips on either end of a long long red curly cord. Made so that one end was for an adult hand and the other for a child's. Only for my purposes, I strung it thru the handle of Dean's stroller with David Scott and Danielle attached on either side. It worked well, and only embarassing when both end kids would stretch across entire aisles in the Mall, blocking all traffic, which gave cause for total strangers to roll their eyes at me, and little huffs of impatience behind me. But, I only have two hands, and 3 kids---do the math.

OK OK back to the photo shop. It was right smack next to a Pet Shop. David Scott asked if he could just go look in the window while I picked up the photos. I didn't normally let him loose, but thinking it was a harmless request, knowing I could see the kids from the register in the store, I said "sure".

I let him loose, got my photos within 3 minutes and upon returning, could not find him. Not at the window, not inside the Pet store...not anywhere in sight. At first, I am perturbed--" darn kid--we need to go!" Then the minutes ticked by, and my heart turned frantic. I called Mall Security. More minutes went by--still no David Scott...3 1/2 feet tall, bright blonde curly hair, big green eyes, wearing a red and blue baseball shirt, red shorts. Nowhere. I called his Dad at the office..."I've lost David Scott at the mall. It's been 15 minutes. Yes, Security is helping. Yes, Police are on the way. Yes, I gave them a picture of him and description."

I was sucking alot of emotion inside, trying to keep calm.

"Hey MOM!" I hear from the 2nd story level. I look up. It's David Scott! But wait, he's not wearing the same clothing I just saw him in??? He's all happy, I direct him to take the escalator DOWN, and by this time tears are falling as he reaches my arms. I am full-on bawling in the Mall.

What did he do?? He did what all 4 year olds do...he went out to the Car in the Parking Lot, and because the car doors weren't all locked, crawled inside, CHANGED his clothes (mint green tank and plaid green shorts)and came back in!

Why??? Why did you do that to me David Scott? I didn't even know he could have found his way to the car. He was alot smarter than I ever imagined!

After that, he set me up for more and more hide-n-go-seek adventures...to the point where when I would take him ANYWHERE, I would say, before getting out of the car: "David Scott, I am your Ride Home. Do not wander off, I will not look for you this time." I am not kidding.

Everytime we went somewhere we would spend 20 minutes looking for him when it was time to go. Ugh! When he got to be around 9, I stopped looking. I left him at church numerous times. We'd go home, have lunch or dinner, then he'd inevitably call home, and I'd tell him that when we were good and ready, we'd come back for him. Same thing happened at Target, Walmart, the Mall, etc.

When he was 12, we went with some good friends to Disneyland. At the Gate, I told him, "Do not wander off--stay with us." Un-hunh. We were there about 30 minutes when we looked around to see that he and the friend's son were gone. At first my friend, Dee, was worried about her son. She even looked around for him. I did not. When she asked me why not, I said, "Just watch. When he gets hungry, he will come and find me."

Three hours later, we were standing in line for a the Matterhorn Bobsleds, when I feel a hand on my shoulder followed by a "Mom, I am soooo hungry!"

An Open Letter to My Firstborn

"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie left for five people,
promptly announces she never did care for pie.
~Tenneva Jordan

"A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's."
~Princess Diana


" All I am, or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. ”
~Abraham Lincoln

"Love is doing small things with great love."
~Mother Theresa

I learned alot from you, my firstborn
I learned to listen to my body
as you took possession of my
tastebuds
digestive system
as well as
my heart
and mind.

I learned to love
my round belly
and
rounder clothes.

Curiosity filled me
with wonderful delight
at the changes~
and daydreams
became common.

What would you look like?
Could I love anyone more
than I loved this little one
thriving
growing
in my tummy
and heart?

I learned to sew
baby shirts
baby socks
blue blankets
and maternity tops.

All before your arrival.

The lessons continued
on your Big Day...
breathing in and out
huffing
and
ta-ta-ta-ing
ha-ha-ha-ing
hee-hee-heeing
until those endless waves
released you into
my arms.

I was invincible!
the euphoria was
fantastic...
I could've lept out of the hospital
bed and run a marathon!

You made me a Mother.

I found myself
because of You.

I learned to sleep when baby sleeps
and that it's okay to cry
when baby cries.
sometimes.

I learned to use a camera
like a pro
catching every half-smile
and wide-eyed moment
on film.

I learned that squash
is hard to get out of
silk.
And that silk
is not practical for
Mommies.

I learned to get showered
and dressed
in 15 minutes
flat.
And makeup is over-rated
on somedays.

I learned the stretchmarks
don't go away.
But that's okay.
And nothing to cry over
more than once.
And cocoa butter is a joke.

I learned how to get out the door
right after a nap and feeding
or to just stay home
and be happy.

I learned to be patient:
For teething fevers
and drool.
Eating out is not worth
what it costs
in the beginning
but when you're a toddler
any place is good
if they serve
Macaroni and Cheese!

I learned to love
McDonald's Playland
and Happy Meals!

I learned that a balanced meal
can be chicken nuggets
and milk
with apple slices.
And it's totally worth $2.99.

I learned that as you grew
you had choices to make too.
And once I voiced my opinion
I had to give you space
to make those choices.
And I learned that that
is Hard.

I learned to listen
to what you could teach me.
And it was more than I
could've ever learned on my own.

I came to love
"where the red fern grows"
because you love it.

I cried when you cried
at "Old Yeller".

I laughed when you laughed
at Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
He-Man
Weird Al Yankovic
Jeff Foxworthy.

I hurt when you hurt
when you broke your arm.
I physically hurt for you
When you fell and busted your lip
at school
and then I fainted at the Doctor's office.

I held my breath
when you started dating.
I learned to smile
instead of cringing
at the parade of characters
you led thru my kitchen.

I couldn't contain my excitement
at your mission call
and
cried when you left for
two years...
so grateful for your choices then.

My Mondays were a mixture
of fear and relief
Until I got that weekly email
I was inconsolable.
It didn't matter what
you wrote--
the fact that you got to
a computer
and could write a letter
was all I needed.
Your joy was my joy.

We went through alot to get there, hunh?
We both had so much to learn before then.
Tears and patience
can equal
forgiveness and happiness
all around.

Thank you for loving me
despite my flaws
and flubs
and selfish days of youth.

Thank you for being patient
while I grew up
and learned how to be
the mother I always
wanted to be.

I love being your mother
my sweet boy.
Happy Birthday.

What? That Never Happened To You? Serious?

While I would like to evoke an image of sophistication and propriety, what I'm about to share with any interested parties will shatter that image to smithereens.

One Sunday afternoon, after church, there's a knock on the door. My then-4-year-old son runs to the door.
"No!" I say, "don't open--"
Too late. There stood the missionaries. Door wide open. Straight shot to my bedroom.
Me, standing in my slip.
I pushed my bedroom door closed. Got dressed and came out.
"Dontcha love kids?" I offer, cheeks burning.

***********

Sunday. Fast & Testimony Meeting. I'm at the podium. I see one of my wiggly kids break free from Dad and rush the podium stage. Dad grabs him, tosses him over his shoulder, heading for the foyer.
Atop his dad's shoulders, he yells: " HEP ME BISSOP!"

***********

Another Sunday. Another Fast & Testimony Meeting. Again, I'm attempting to bear my testimony. Different wiggly kid breaks free from Dad and rushes the podium. I watch in horror as I see my 3 yo play chase with Bishop and 2nd counsellor.

************

1988-Sunday. Church. Sacrament. 5 yo son exhales loudly and says for all to hear: "Can we go home now? THIS is SO BORING."

***********
2004-Sunday. Church. Sacrament. Different 5 yo son, exhales loudly and says for all to hear: "Can we go home now? THIS is SO Boring."

**********

High School. I'm a Senior. After the Homecoming Parade, I had to change out of a huge antebellum "Southern Belle" dress in one of the school's bathrooms. It was around 5pm...I'd changed into the dress in a particular stall before the parade and left my clothes there. My bff at the time, Melanie, stood outside the door where I handed her the humongous dress--and off she went to the parking lot to wait for me. She no sooner left than I discovered that my clothes were gone. Stolen.
I stood in the bathroom for a few panicked moments. What were my options? First, I yelled for Melanie. Too late, she was long gone. Hmmm. I peeked down the hall. I was in C hall...my locker, that had a coat in it, was in F hall...could I run to my locker, open it, and get my coat on without being seen in just my bra and panties?

Yes. Yes I could.

***************

Nine Years Old. Florida. My cousins decided we would all make our own bikini tops with lava lava's before heading to the beach. My top consisted of two tiny triangles of fabric, handsewn with little strips of fabric holding it all together and onto my skinny stick-figure body.
We're walking down the street, when two older boys on 10-speeds ride toward us. One of them is smiling at me...in my 9 yo head, I'm thinkin', "wow, he must think I'm cute!" So I nudge my cousin, who takes one look at me and screams, "Where's your top??!!"
It blew right off my body without a hint. Never did find it.

*****************

C'mon stuff like this happens to you, right?