My Last Day of School: Celebrating 31 Years As a Mother of School Children

Pardon my sentimentality today, but it’s a really good day for me! I reached a huge milestone in my Motherhood Career.  This morning at 8am, I dropped off my seventh child-- my youngest off at the curb of her high school, culminating 31 years of getting children to school since September 1988, when I dropped my oldest son, (who’ll be 36 years old this summer) off to kindergarten at Shaw Butte Elementary school in Phoenix, Arizona.

Seven children over three decades—no matter what else was going on in my life, or in the world-- I was in charge of getting them to school for 9 months (and some summer school sessions too—the guilty parties know who they are!) to gain an education.  

My children went to several different schools, in a few different places:  Phoenix, Arizona; Spartanburg, South Carolina; Glendale, Arizona; Colorado Springs, Colorado; Fort Collins, Colorado; Meridian, Idaho; and lastly Eugene, Oregon.  Seven children have had more teachers, more assignments, more lunches, more field trips, more sneakers, backpacks, notebooks, pens and pencils, crayons, markers, posters, Science projects and Book Reports than I can even begin to remember!

When I began this long season in my life, George Bush was President. There have been 4 other US Presidents in the same span as my decades of Motherhood.  Three Republicans and two Democrats. And believe me, it used to be more civil. Nelson Mandela was elected President of South Africa; AIDS was the biggest news on MTV; shoulders pads and big hair was the fashion (for men and women!), Cassette tapes hadn’t been replaced by CD’s yet. VCR’s were the new thing and they were pricey.

Technology was just on the cusp of what it is nowadays: the Hubble telescope had just launched in 1990. Apple, Microsoft, Amazon or Google were still ideas. Laptops and cell phones were a decade away.  Dolly the Sheep had been the first successful cloning.  The Euro was created.  And Operation Desert Storm began in January 1991.  It was the first war that was shared in real time on national TV and I was glued to the television.  I even wrote in my journal the name of the first US military casualty, Airman Michael Scott Speicher, shot down outside of Iraq.  I cried and promised to remember his name.  The kids still had school.

A new gal on TV, Oprah Winfrey with huge hair and earrings you could see from two towns over, was taking over daytime TV talking to mostly everyday people about controversial realities which essentially replaced Phil Donahue—the TV host of my mother’s generation.  Television was changing faster than we could keep up with new channels popping up—whereas there’d been about 5 channels for most of my life, suddenly MTV ushered in a host of others—VH1, HBO for starters—and then all the news channels too—CNN and FOX and more filled up the TV log of programming.  We got the details of OJ Simpson’s wild Bronco ride on LA freeways and the trial afterwards.  We also got the tragic news as it unfolded in Paris the night Princess Diana was killed. And we still had school through all of this—lunches to be made, buses to catch, homework due.

School supplies went from Trapper Keepers, pens and pencils and scratch n’ sniff stickers, to backpacks, laptop computers, n' fancy Scientific calculators.  I’ve lived through several fashion trends too—Reeboks craze, Skechers, Jeansco, Skaterboy, denim skirts, Doc Martins, NIKE-everything, and now Birkenstocks.

I’ve helped make school assignments out of marshmallows, Starburst candies, pixie stix, Legos, and Dixie cups and plates, like alot of other parents.  I can write reports on Madagascar and komodo dragons, Florence Nightingale, Harriet Tubman, Women’s Rights, Abraham Lincoln and Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men—and so much more, at a moment’s notice.

Having so many children gifted me the opportunity to learn alongside them more subjects than I would’ve ever learned just on my own. I've done each grade eight times, people!  First grade through twelth grade--eight times! Their school careers enlarged my world seven times over. I learned more than school topics—I learned about being an Advocate for my child and myself. I learned from writers of books like Wilson Rawls “Where the Red Fern Grows”—a book that I caught my then-8-yo-son reading, one night, as I walked past his bedroom long after bedtime and heard a soft whimper that came from under a blanket where a small flashlight shone.  Lifting the covers, his little tear-filled eyes looked up, “Old Dan died.”   I’d never heard of the book before that moment.  What a sweet memory though.  I love that book.   Reading has become a passion for most of my children, as it has been mine. 

Staying up late creating posters for “tomorrow’s deadline” has stretched my patience as well as my creativity! We can do alot in a crunch these days!  From printing off pictures to creating Power Point presentations, the technology available in our home has made our educational experience so much easier and fuller.  I can say that with a great appreciation and perspective of not having grown up with it. Definitely a game changer. 

Thirty-one years.  That’s a Career.  I don’t know anyone who’s done the same thing-- consistently for 31 years. I mean, I am certain that those people exist; I just don’t know them.  I didn’t even think about it through all of this time either. Reminds me of that old Dunkin Donuts commercial, “Time to make the donuts”.  It hasn’t mattered what else was going on in my life, my family’s life—School was Number One.  Go to school, get an education.  It’s the only thing that can never be taken from you.  

Yesterday I was talking to one of my daughter’s about my sudden 31-year-realization and she said something that is still resonating in me today, “We always knew that education was important. Going to college was an expectation.”   And just last night, another conversation on the edge of my youngest’s bed, she spoke about registering for College classes today for a Fall semester.  Although she is nervous about going to college and the unknowns that are out there yet to be discovered, she said, “I have to go to college so I can have a good Life and not be a dumb-flip.”  Yes, you do, Sis.  Of the seven children, only one will not attend college in his life—Dean, because he has a handicap that will prevent it.  But so far, we are on the right track: all of the gang has gone to college or has plans to attend. Can I just say, without sounding arrogant or hoity-toity, that I am so grateful for this family tradition of ours?

 I was raised by a mother who only finished 10^th grade and a father who could barely read though he graduated high school.  They never spoke of college to me or my brothers. It was not a family tradition where they came from, so it was an Unknown to them too.  Different times, for sure. But I wanted more for myself and my children and education is the way for us.

This morning, at that school curb, as my youngest popped open the car door and said, “I’ll see you in a bit.”—I just had this lump in my throat. Solid emotion.  This is my last day of school.

The Caboose Grew Up!

I Started this blog in 2008. This young woman was in 1st grade, people! 

And now, look at her!

A young woman!

What can I say about her that hasn't been said already?

She's the baby in the family. She owns it. Her older sisters have loved her so well,

and she has learned much from them and their examples to her.

My little Arianna Hope is a product of alot of us--

she's had the advantage of older parents (read: patient and broken-in. See also: tired.)

and siblings, in-laws, nieces and nephews since she was in 3rd grade.

She likes the outdoors, vinyl records, book series, travelling, odd memes, llamas,

sloths, pugs (She will own a pug one day named Carl), making gluten-free treats,

and a number of other things that make her unique.

Camping/Hiking at Rocky Mtn National Park is a favorite place for her.

We went even while I was pregnant with her; she has favorite trails there too. 

She and her dad have a strong, funny relationship: he calls her "Woodsen/Woody/Elwood and she calls him "Consuela or Connie".

Halloween, 2006

Meridian, Idaho

Deckers, Colorado

2012

Halloween 2014

Colorado Springs, CO

"Mama, notice the resemblance?"

Her sense of humor is unparalleled in our family.

Her wit is surprising, candid, smart and quick!

She is a fierce defender of the Under Dog.

If she is your friend,

you have a friend for Life.

Arianna has many nicknames in our family, 

the most common is "Bee", but others include: The Beeps, Beebo,

Ari, Beef, Beebopanonymous, and Arianna Soap.

It might just be us, but everyone in our family has nicknames 

given to them by their siblings.

She is a batman fangirl; wears batman onesies to school on Superhero day.

She's played piano for years, and just this Christmas began learning the guitar.

She is also a nutter about our dogs, Kota, our 10 yo black lab

And Zuri, our 5 yr old golden retriever that she likes to dress up on occasion.

Sass.  Pure Sass this one.

Her siblings are her best friends.

These youngest two are almost always together, since they're the last 2 at home.

They are snarky, hilarious, and all else that goes on between brother and sister.

And this is their last year at home together.  

He is leaving for a mission this year and she will be off to college.

I try to imagine what this season would look like--

when the last of the seven children would be flying out of the nest.

It's surreal.

It went faster than I can explain.

*

 She struggled the last 2 years in Colorado Springs with grief and anxiety,

as several classmates took their own lives her freshman and sophomore years.

Moving to Oregon has been healthy for her--

new friendships have grown into strong friendships

that she didn't expect

but truly needed and appreciates.

All of these beautiful young people are her "squad"--

they are together whenever possible

at school, church and play.

  

Speaking from a purely Mom POV,

the healthiest, happiest thing to witness is seeing your child be accepted by her peers,

and in turn accept herself.

When we think back on our Oregon Adventure--

the first thing that will come to mind is that this was a blessing for our daughter.

We came for her.

She is graduating high school next week! 

I can't even believe it!
I'm so excited for her. (And sad for me!)

She has done well in school here--

her favorite classes have been history, government and Pre-Law.

She is heading to Brigham Young University-Idaho--

for her first degree.

She has declared Health Sciences as her major,

planning to get her degree in Public Health and go onto becoming a

Cardiovascular Surgery Technician or Radiologist.

*

She asked me to create and paint her graduation announcements;

after a few mock-ups

this is the one she chose--

those emerald evergreens of Oregon.

 A new season is here, my people.

I have so much more to say.

But we're on the cusp of a new adventure.

Create! Lemon and Blueberries Indoor/Outdoor Wreath Recipe

I love summer and blueberries and lemons!

So I created this refreshing wreath for my home.

It's so easy, anyone can do it!

Here's the Design Recipe:

1 grapevine wreath

2 1/2 - 3" ribbon (I chose wired and un-wired)

1 blueberry bush, separated

1 eucalyptus bush, separated

1 magnolia leaf bush, separated

1 olive leaf bush, separated

1 bag large permanent lemons

1 bag assorted sizes lemons

Step 1: Separate the bush stems from the main stem, using wire cutter and set aside

Step 2: Lay down the magnolia leaves in bunches of 3, going one direction around the wreath. Using a hot glue gun, affix to wreath.

Step 3: Next add the olive branch leaves, affix with hot glue.

Step 4: Make the bow(s) and affix to wreath using floral wire.

Step 5: Prepare the lemons but removing the tiny green stem end and using leftover stems from the leaves, and a dab of hot glue, stick the stem into the opening. Let cool.

Step 5:  Add large lemons.  Place them at the lower curve of the wreath and tuck them in going upwards.  

Step 6: Add the smaller lemons, mostly at the top half, tucking them in and under leaves.

Step 7: Add blueberries in and around the lemons and ribbon.

Step 8: Add the eucalyptus stems in and around the lemons and ribbon.

That's it!

Eight easy steps to creating your own Summer Wreath!

Passing Through Gethsemane

As an artist, inspiration is everywhere.  My eyes and heart tend to find muses based on my moods.

When I was having a particularly tender day last week, I turned towards the gospel of Jesus Christ for relief and came across this passage from Elder Jeffery R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, "The path of salvation always goes through the garden of Gethsemane."

The image above is what came from those words.  Having never been there in person, I relied on pics online for reference--the twisted gnarly branches of the olive trees are beautiful, and their small leaves demand little water to thrive in the desert climate.  What else would I put into my artwork that would tell the story?  A solid rock. To symbolize my Savior, who is my Rock, my Redeemer, who went to that place and atoned for my sins, my sorrows, grief and pain.

Years ago, I went to a women's conference at Brigham Young University with my daughter, Dara.  She was a senior in high school and I wanted time with her alone. Having been to Women's Conference a dozen times or more over the years, I had several experiences planned for the two of us. I wanted to show her the beauty of this conference and why I'd come so often to get my spiritual cup filled and fortified.

The first day of conference, two significant things happened on the first day:  my special needs son, Dean had to be removed from his host home due to a volatile situation.  And my missionary daughter, serving in New York, was in a car accident.

Suddenly, my focus was not on the conference and the daughter with me--but on two other children who were hundreds of miles away, in situations that were serious.

Dara and I kept our schedule to go to the classes we'd chosen, while I was madly texting back and forth with Dean's case manager and Diana's mission health office.  I was physically and emotionally "a hot mess", as my Southern roots declared.

But I was in the right place that day.  In the first class, speaker Elaine Marshall shared her life experience as the mother who lost a treasured son, dying at the age of eight years old.  Grief for his passing held her tightly; her mother heart mourning his absence continually.  Out of concern, her own inspired mother came to her and kindly suggested, "You've spent too much time in Gethsemane. Jesus has already been there for you.  Go find another garden." 

Is that not the most beautifully inspired words of comfort?  "Go find another garden."

It is a wondrous thought to dwell on Gethsemane garden and what went on there when Jesus performed the Atonement.  It was there that He took upon the sins of the world--the indescribable pains of all of God's children collectively--and by doing so, granted us access to forgiveness and grace, mercy and redemption, making it possible for us to continue to evolve as mortal and spiritual beings.

But sometimes, I spend too much time in my own Gethsemane.  It could be said of me, that I set up house there. Always tending to my sorrows and sins, grief and guilt, as if being ever-mindful of them will make me a wise, worthy steward; a responsible woman, mother, wife.  So automatic is my "tending in Gethsemane", that I forget that's it's okay to leave my troubles there and accept the Atonement as it is meant to be accepted and move "onto other gardens".  

What I'm recognizing is how limiting that exercise is--to beat a path to Gethsemane and set up camp there, as it were--to indulge or to punish--my own well-being instead of trusting my cares to the Master Gardener.  It is a matter of timing, perhaps, that I learn how long to linger in that sacred Garden before looking ahead and moving out of it.  I can trust in Him whose garden it is and leave my cares right there in His care.  

As for the crisis of that day--it all shook out to be manageable.  My son moved to a better place and has been there for 5 years.  My missionary daughter got the medical care she needed and finished her mission successfully.   The trip with my daughter did strengthen our relationship and we created sweet memories.

It was never intended that we, as God's children, take up residence in Gethsemane's walled garden; He has greater desires for us than to be prisoners of our mortal bodies and earthly trials.  

That's why He send His son.

There is comfort in Gethsemane--I know I will yet visit there many times over in my life, but I will try to remember that the Savior, the Great Redeemer of all, the One who sanctified that place, both figuratively and genuinely-- He also left that Garden a long time ago.

Words For Life

January is here and I'm wide awake for it.
Ready to claim my place in all of the history books of Me.
If you had asked how my 2018 went,
even a month ago,
I'd have shook my head and said "it was rough".
But that's not the truth.
Not the whole truth, anyway.

Upon further reflection, as I was writing in my personal journal
on New Year's Eve
I started to chronicle my past year
and discovered that alot of really awesome opportunities
were given to me and mine
and I actually had much to be thankful for--
especially the gift of Time.

Whereas I've been working for more than a decade--
part-time, full-time, double-time
in any number of ventures,
2018 was not a Year of Work.
It was more than that--
a year of healing
a year of reconnecting
a year of travel
and discovering that my definition
of Adventure
more closely resembled the definition of
"vacation" (noun. an extended period of recreation, especially spent away from home or in travelling.)
than the true meaning of Adventure altogether.
It means "unusual and exciting, typically hazardous, experience or activity."
This reality check helps when I am uncomfortable in my current situation--
that is,
living in Eugene, Oregon and missing my Colorado Springs.
We are definitely having an Adventure!
Still, 2018 was good to me.  Better than good, it was also Kind and Giving.
I had time to do alot of things that I haven't had before and that was a true Gift.

My word for 2018 was Patience.
I will claim it as a Win. I was patient when I didn't want to be.
I was patient with the people I love when it wasn't easy.
I was patient with my circumstances.
I was patient with my Heavenly Father, when I couldn't see His view clearly
or understand why, no matter how much I pleaded,
a certain child made a choice that would lead her in an uncertain direction.
But I loved her anyway. I have to claim that. I stepped in when I wanted to step away.
I had three important opportunities to show and exhibit Patience,
and I passed.

Last night, as I was settling down for sleep,
I entertained different feelings for how I wanted to claim a word
for 2019--
I'm going to try some new things this year--
and when I say "new" I mean: I've never done this before,
it's not going to be easy, but I believe I can do it.
The word that came floating to the top of the Word Pile:
REACH.

It applies to all that I hope I can do in 2019:
Reach for my goals,
Reach for stronger family relationships,
Reach for a greater faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
Reaching out to serve others along the way too.
Reach deeply for peace and gratitude, come what may.

So there's my word.

In 2007,
during a particularly hard year,
I had a gal over to my house for an Uppercase Living party.
I wasn't in the mood for a party,
but felt somewhat obligated to host this for a friend.
As part of the demonstration,
the Demonstrator gal showed how easy it was to affix the vinyl letters
to the wall.
She let me chose one word among 3 offerings
and I chose "TRANSFORM".
I don't know why I chose that one,
but in that moment, I casually thought I'd just pull it off once the guests
had left the house.
But I didn't.
I left it up there for almost a year.
It was on a livingroom wall that led into my bedroom--
I passed it a zillion times a day and somewhere in there,
I began touching those vinyl letters
as I walked by them,
absorbing, accepting and appreciating
the word, "Transform" into my life.
That word helped me get thru a very hard time.

Words matter.
The words we use make a house in us.
 What's your word of the Year?

New Seasons

October finds me in Eugene, Oregon for the second year.
A year ago today our house sold in Colorado Springs,
and I knew then
that a new chapter had begun in our lives.
We're still writing our story here,
getting to know our way around the city,
find our favorite places,
make new friends ( that has been slower than I thought it would be),
adapt a little more than planned,
but you know, it is what it is.

Mr. W and I see this as a holding pattern for now.
Things are getting shaken up at his business
so there's the feeling of transitions in the air.
Which, btw, is totally OK with us.
He's been fielding calls from recruiters again,
so who knows what the future holds?
It's a new season.

Speaking of which,
Here's a pic of the Caboose--
who, if you've been following this little blog of mine
from the beginning, was just a 2nd grader way back when
and is a senior in high school:

She's growing up!
Sensitive, hilarious wit, stubborn as the day is long, and filling out college applications!

The last little chick in the nest.
My Caboose is about to take flight and leave her old mother behind.
Oh my.
These seasons go by so fast, don't they?!

A Summer to Remember 2018: Return to the Persian Gulf

As Dani and her family ended their summer break tour, it was time to head back to their home on the Persian Gulf.

Her husband returned earlier in the month, so I went along to help her with the kids on the long, long trip back to Saudi.

My trip started in Eugene to Salt Lake City, Utah where I met up with Dani and her kids.

Now, the only drama began here with my luggage. Since my first flight began in Eugene, it was a separate ticket, altho on the same airlines, Delta.  When I got to SLC, I asked three different Delta employees to make sure my luggage was transferred along to the next flight leg of my trip to Dammam, Saudi Arabia. I was assured at all instances that it would be, no problem.

My seat partner was 3.5 yo Gracie who is a fabulous little traveler! Her mom packed a travel pouch of treats and toys and that cute Unicorn headband that holds earphones so she could watch kid shows on the plane. 

From Salt Lake City our trip took us to Amsterdam, The Netherlands. That's a 10 hour flight, but Gracie did great.  Hannah, the youngest of Dani's crew at 2 years old, was a hot mess at times, so I was happy that I was there.  Dani's boys, Garrett, 8.5 and Isaac, 7, were happy to sit for hours looking at their tablet games.

The next leg of the trip was Amsterdam to Dammam was 6.5 hours.

We were so tired.  I hadn't slept most of the way, to keep alert for Gracie, so I was beat.

It's always great to get off the plane, right?!

My luggage didn't make it.

I filed a lost luggage report with KLM airlines (the Delta partner) and went to Dani's house to assuage the jet lag.

The next morning came sooner than I'd have liked, but Gracie took a spin outside with me.

The Persian Gulf is as I left it two years ago...quiet, blue waters, hot and dusty air.

It wasn't as hot as before, thank goodness, only in the low 100s.

The evening sunsets are amazing and I wish I'd taken more photos of it.

Dani and I had a few trips into town and even one to Bahrain.

The architecture is interesting to me--this is not the only building shaped like this Jetsons-inspired structure.  I don't know why they build "up" like this, but there are some truly interesting buildings there.

Bahrain is colorful and vibrant compared to the area of Saudi that Dani lives in. Also, it is more westernized than Saudi and is compared to a "wicked Babylon" because it allows movie theaters, liquor, strip clubs, pork products and such that is prohibited in Saudi.  Also, women do not have to wear abeyas! Which made it so much nicer.  Dani bought me my own abeya, and I wore it when necessary, but it was nice to take off in Bahrain.  I brought it home with me.

Again, there are the Western influences everywhere...restaurants, clothing, autos, etc.

One of the biggest changes to see in Saudi is women in the workplace such as in Internationally-owned retail shops and women drivers.  

 

Pork area designated as such by the "Non-Muslim" signage.

Dani treated me to a delicious Thai food restaurant while in Bahrain as well as a day at a local spa she found called "Diva" which is owned by a Bahrainian and employs Philippine single women to work there. They live in a shared apartment and work together. Such a nice day!

We went to a newer chain of stores called LULU'S...think "Walmart" style and you'll be close!

It has alot of everything--clothing, home goods, and food. 

They sell fancy dresses for women and girls, as well as a custom-clothing shop for the whole family.

How cool is that?  The fabrics look luxurious, but not practical for daily living, imo.  They also have a whole floor full of western clothing for everyone, but I didn't take photos of that. This is where you'll have to imagine Walmart's clothing sections.

Ok and onto food:  for being a desert country, they have a ton of produce.  Dani says it comes from northern Saudi and around the world.

And thank heavens for recognized brands of salsa!

Camel steaks, anyone?

There's also a retail store called Jarir's that resembles a STAPLES and a Borders book store.

It carries electronics, office and school supplies.

 Mosques:  There are literally thousands of mosques in Saudi Arabia.  Their custom is to build one within walking distance for their citizens.  No two look alike, as far as I can tell, but they're easy to spot because of their unique shape on a cityscape.  The call to prayer is broadcast outward from the mosques and I still find it interesting.  

 Dani's part of a group of women who host a Holiday Bazaar to benefit the foreign workers on their compound and asked me to do some artwork to be sold.  I did a little bit, and hope to do more and send it along to her before the bazaar in November.

Plus a few more, but you get the idea--Saudi themed art sells at the bazaar.

My last morning on the Persian Gulf.  It was a nice day, the humidity was down and Dani said let's go outside for a bit.  I'm glad I did.

It is so beautiful.  Until I went there two years ago, all I associated with the Persian Gulf was the war.

I imagined it to be exactly opposite of what it is in reality.

My kids return to the states in ten months as their contract ends.

They have mixed emotions about leaving this part of the world.

I'm more grateful than I can say for the opportunity to experience Saudi Arabia for myself.

I cannot say I'd like to live there, I wouldn't for alot of reasons.

But the lessons I've learned there will last a lifetime.

*p.s.  I got my luggage back in one piece on Day 7.