Chickens and Children

"Raising children is like being pecked to death by chickens"

I grew up with hen houses--

where you open the coop in the morning, 

and the chickens come running at you,

cuz' hey! they know you've breakfast--
you've gotta move fast,

so you toss a handful of grain in another direction

and watch them all 

run for it,

which gives you a moment to fill-up

the feed tray with grain

and check the water trough,

then run behind the hen houses

to get the eggs.
We had a mean rotten rooster--
he'd come at you full-force,
full of spit and vinegar
and use his sharp pointy beak to peck
the back of your legs
your toes
and once he even jumped on the back of
my four year old brother, Khris
and pecked his head!
We heard him screaming,
my dad ran out to the chicken coop,
and yanked that bird off Khris
so hard
I thought we were having chicken for dinner that night.
Instead of killing the rooster,
my dad traded it for a different rooster
with a neighbor down the road.

We had been taught how to handle
chickens,
how to care for them,
raise them,
remove their eggs carefully,
and even how to pluck them.
We had rules on how to go in the coop--
carefully,
and shut it immediately
so none of the chickens got out,
and the dog couldn't get in!
We loved the little fluffy chicks,
and were taught how to handle them too.
altho' this one time
we tied yarn around their little necks
and try to "walk" them around the hen yard.
That had to stop when my brother yanked too hard
on a little chicks neck--
and well,
the fun was over pretty quick.

I didn't know it then,
but raising kids is alot like
raising chickens.

We have rules in our house.
Not a ton, mind you
but enough that I can keep my sanity
the kids can learn what they need to learn
to grow up and move on
when they're of age
and I don't have to worry about
visiting them in a
penitentiary someday.

The obvious rules for civility:
No hitting.
No spitting.
No shoes on the sofa.
No acting like a crazy maniac in the house,
or for that matter,
anywhere else.
No throwing balls/frisbees/toys/people/anything to anyone in the house.

There are also those rules that are set
to teach respect for others--
*Wait your turn--to speak, to use the loo, to use community property, etc.
*Don't take things that are not yours.
*Knock before opening a bedroom door.
*Ask before taking more than your share of treats or
 whatever else is considered community property.

Then there are rules that are set for learning Self-Mastery:
*Do your homework.
*Keep up with your room and your daily chores.
*Go to bed on time and get up on time.
*Be moderate in your hobbies/interests.
*Watch your language and your tone.

And on and on.

It's important to have standards in our home,
otherwise it'd be what Jeff Foxworthy calls,
"PANDEMONIUM!"

So when I say,
raising kids is like being pecked to death by chickens--
I know whereof I speak...
chicken coops can be chaotic
if you don't know what you're doing--
but they can be really fun
when you do.