Remember that oh-so-fun trip to the library last week? I actually did pick up some books for moi.
When I got home and looked at my booty, it occured to me I need help. Apparently in alot of different areas of my life.
One of the books is called "Getting Along with Almost Anyone"...it's a personality profiler that was kinda interesting-- I learned nothing new about myself tho I did my own "profiling" of Mr W and a few of my friends and yahoos...which may or may not be scientific but still provided "AH-HA" moments. Reading a profile and thinking "Who do I know like that?" was way fun....got to read about all their good and bad...in the end it was more fun than I thought. (Oh, couldn't find it online to show the cover--and it looks like I'm the first one to check it out...so either its a brand new book or --not. So I chose a smiley face to represent the cover, cuz who can't get along with a smiley?)
Because I'm losin' my stinkin mind, I tell you. I've cracked this open just a couple of times, and if I could remember, I'd read it more often. It talks about little tricks to help recall things, diet, exercise and other stuff I can't remember. Works real good.
A comedy. Very funny. Sometimes too gritty for me. I want to grow old gracefully like Marjorie Hinckley, not like Joan Rivers. (Who, b-t-w, grates on my nerves like chalk on a chalkboard! Absolutely no class whatsoever. I can't figure out why she is even a celebrity. Seriously, my 9 year old is funnier, classier, & cuter than her. just sayin.)
Not a novel, but a fun how-to-age and still be relevant in your own mind read.
Another comedy. And it's not potty-humor. I really like Dave Barry's writing style. It makes me laugh outloud. Especially when he talks about his family. Cracks me up! Plus, he writes for the Miami Herald, my native hometown. He gets points for that. He's not as funny as Bill Bryson, but they didn't have any of his books, or that I could focus on finding because by the time I got to this aisle the kiddos already had 52 books they were hauling around and wanted to go. So I grabbed this one.
I like their show. I like them. My body went from being a "wear whatever I want" kinda body, to a "I hate to shop" body. I need help with this. They're both pretty funny, and always right about looking great. I have a secret wish that someone I know would write these guys and have them film me in my "mom-duds" around town, then come to my house for an "intervention" and force me to throw out every stinkin peice of clothing I own for brand new designer duds. I would NOT be like some of the ninnies they have on there that cry about tossing out their old wardrobe, or bawl about "the long day of shopping" and "sticking to the rules"!! BAH!!! I'd be like, "Let's get this show on the road! Whadda we waitin' for???" Then go get my makeover and show up at a party to shock my family--who would absolutely be shocked that my "mom jeans" have given way a chic, sophisticated look--I mean, seriously, someone call and tattle on me! I won't hold a grudge! Hand me that 5k charge card and I won't look back!
Because I have 3 more kids to get ready for college. I need more help being a "cheerleader" with knowledge than a drill sargent with passion. I've got to get these kids ready for college so I don't end up in a trailer park someday but at some old folks villa in the south of France. That's what I'm talkin about.
When I got home and looked at my booty, it occured to me I need help. Apparently in alot of different areas of my life.
One of the books is called "Getting Along with Almost Anyone"...it's a personality profiler that was kinda interesting-- I learned nothing new about myself tho I did my own "profiling" of Mr W and a few of my friends and yahoos...which may or may not be scientific but still provided "AH-HA" moments. Reading a profile and thinking "Who do I know like that?" was way fun....got to read about all their good and bad...in the end it was more fun than I thought. (Oh, couldn't find it online to show the cover--and it looks like I'm the first one to check it out...so either its a brand new book or --not. So I chose a smiley face to represent the cover, cuz who can't get along with a smiley?)
Because I'm losin' my stinkin mind, I tell you. I've cracked this open just a couple of times, and if I could remember, I'd read it more often. It talks about little tricks to help recall things, diet, exercise and other stuff I can't remember. Works real good.
A comedy. Very funny. Sometimes too gritty for me. I want to grow old gracefully like Marjorie Hinckley, not like Joan Rivers. (Who, b-t-w, grates on my nerves like chalk on a chalkboard! Absolutely no class whatsoever. I can't figure out why she is even a celebrity. Seriously, my 9 year old is funnier, classier, & cuter than her. just sayin.)Not a novel, but a fun how-to-age and still be relevant in your own mind read.
Another comedy. And it's not potty-humor. I really like Dave Barry's writing style. It makes me laugh outloud. Especially when he talks about his family. Cracks me up! Plus, he writes for the Miami Herald, my native hometown. He gets points for that. He's not as funny as Bill Bryson, but they didn't have any of his books, or that I could focus on finding because by the time I got to this aisle the kiddos already had 52 books they were hauling around and wanted to go. So I grabbed this one.
I like their show. I like them. My body went from being a "wear whatever I want" kinda body, to a "I hate to shop" body. I need help with this. They're both pretty funny, and always right about looking great. I have a secret wish that someone I know would write these guys and have them film me in my "mom-duds" around town, then come to my house for an "intervention" and force me to throw out every stinkin peice of clothing I own for brand new designer duds. I would NOT be like some of the ninnies they have on there that cry about tossing out their old wardrobe, or bawl about "the long day of shopping" and "sticking to the rules"!! BAH!!! I'd be like, "Let's get this show on the road! Whadda we waitin' for???" Then go get my makeover and show up at a party to shock my family--who would absolutely be shocked that my "mom jeans" have given way a chic, sophisticated look--I mean, seriously, someone call and tattle on me! I won't hold a grudge! Hand me that 5k charge card and I won't look back!
Because I have 3 more kids to get ready for college. I need more help being a "cheerleader" with knowledge than a drill sargent with passion. I've got to get these kids ready for college so I don't end up in a trailer park someday but at some old folks villa in the south of France. That's what I'm talkin about. So that's my loot. No novels. No outright fiction. Mostly how-tos--dont' get me wrong I own some novels...I used to like Nicholas Sparks until he hired someone else to write for him. jk. I don't know, but his originality is long gone. I'm staing at my bookcase, searching for a work of fiction...oh! there they are...like 4 books of fiction. (Jane Austen, Shakespeare, C.S. Lewis, Jerry Seinfeld) What does that say about me?? Is there something wrong? Is there a How-To book for this?? "How to love fantasy writing in one week or less" "How to really get into romance novels by chapter 3"....I don't know. But, I think I might go find that memory book if I can remember where I put it. Or maybe I could write my own email to Clinton and Stacy, whaddya think?
Okay. Two things: First, I CAN'T STAND Joan Rivers either and have never understood why she is a celebrity.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I could benefit from all of your how-to books, but if you ever want to get into some fiction that is both light, enjoyable, and wholesome, try Georgette Heyer. She is sort of like a more witty Jane Austen.
=)
Funny post and good list !
ReplyDeleteI am with you on Joan Rivers and might I add her equally annoying daughter ? ...the only ones happy to see them are their plastic surgeons !
I have been lagging on reading anything new lately, but just picked up "Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children" Six steps to hope and healing for struggling parents. ( there's always something...) LOL
If I knew you in real life, I would submit you in to "What Not to Wear". Not that you dress badly, because I'm sure you don't. But it's just that I want to be on that show, too, and if I submitted you then you'd have to submit me, right? I keep hoping for the knock on my door from them.
ReplyDeleteI'm re-reading the Harry Potter series before movie #6 comes out. If you haven't given it a shot, please do! I didn't think I'd like them going in, but they are truly a good, easy read. Some people talk about them being too dark or whatever, but it's not-it's about love conquering all (a MOTHER'S love, even!), and goodness fighting the evil, and teamwork...Ah, I love them! My hubs really likes Vince Flynn, but I've never read any of his books. My hubs also liked "Angels and Demons".
I, too, can't stand Joan Rivers. There are a few celebrities out there like that for me, like "WHY are they famous, again?"
I love Dave Barry. I've had him make me laugh so much that I snorted and had tears in my eyes! I also love Clinton and Stacy and have a secret wish to be on their show even though I'd find it difficult to spend a couple hundred dollars on one item of clothing!
ReplyDelete@Nat: Agreed!
ReplyDelete@Moody: I've wondered too how many minutes it would take me to spend someone else's money on designer clothing...I think I decided about 3 minutes would do it, then I'd be ripped to go!