Off.
Steammmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I'm frustrated with the fifteen year old.
She's the fifth,
fifteen-year-old
I've raised so far.
You'd think, by now,
I'd have this mothering gig pretty much figured out.
Not much catches me by surprise--
but this one
THIS ONE---
has called my bluff...
I don't have a trick up my sleeve for
THIS ONE.
Our house mantra is
DO YOUR PART--
sometimes,
it's just
hey, gotta do your part...all calm and nurturing
but this morning,
as I was driving the 15 yr old to school
AGAIN
for the 2nd time this week--
and yes, it is just TUESDAY--
it was more like,
Do Your FREAKIN' Part!!!!
She oversleeps nearly everyday.
We turn the house "OFF" by 9pm--
that means
no phone calls,
no TV,
no computer--
nothing after 9pm on school nights.
We've done this routine forever.
Because I know how much kids need their sleep!
But this 15 yo doesn't go to her room and sleep,
she goes down to her room and reads...
and reads
and reads--
then she can't get up in the morning.
Not even on Sundays--
I went in her room this past Sunday morning,
I opened her blinds,
turned on her cd player,
rubbed her shoulders and said,
"It's just a little after 7, ya need to get going, so we can leave by 8:30,k?"
She opened her eyes,
acknowledged me,
mumbled something like, "Okay."
And I left the room.
As we're ready to walk out the door
at 8:20
I send a runner downstairs with the lead-time--
"we're leaving in ten minutes!"
the runner returns with the report that
the 15 yo is IN the shower.
I go downstairs,
yell into the bathroom door
that I am NOT waiting,
we are leaving in 9 minutes!
Nine minutes come and go,
my patience is fueled by my frustration,
so I point the yahoos to the car,
fully intending to leave Miss Tardypants at home--
we're all in the car,
ready to pull out,
when I hear the front door slam
and there she is--
dressed and ready to go.
In nine minutes.
Nine.
That was Sunday.
Two days ago.
Three mornings that Miss Tardypants has dragged her feet!!!
This morning,
I woke up and went to her room
to find her digging thru her
looks for socks--
"Do you know it's 6:48?, I ask.
doesn't your bus come at 6:48?"
"6:51." she answers.
I turn and walk back upstairs.
Within a few seconds I hear running on the stairs,
the front door slam,
and the bus zip past our house,
the front door opens
then closes quietly.
"Miss the bus again?" I growl.
"Yeah."
"Well, you either start walking or get Diana to take you."
She retreats downstairs and I hear nothing.
Nothing.
For a long time.
I get the other two yahoos up and dressed for school--
today is dress rehearsal for the Caboose's choir program,
so I have to help her find something in her closet
that echoes the 70's--bell bottoms, tie-dye shirt, bandana, beads--
I send a runner down to find out when the 15 yo is leaving for school.
"As soon as Nana gets up and takes her."
Hmmmm.
Well since Nana was out until 12:33 AM with friends,
and doesn't work until 9,
I think it's safe to say,
she's not in a hurry to get up.
Ugh.
"Tell Dara to come up, I'll drop her off when I take Ari to choir practice."
So that's what happened.
And I am fit to be tied
about this mess.
I have never had a kid who didn't get their bahooey to class on time!
I've gotten up early to make breakfast for her--
only to discover that she went back to bed
or didn't get up at all!
I've taken away privileges--
the pc, phone, friends, weekends
None of it is making a dent.
So I went online looking for answers--
haven't read anything I didn't know--
teens need alot of sleep--check
teens need encouragement--check
teens need natural consequences--check
some parents use the morning water pitcher/water sprayer
to wake up their oversleepers--
some use bullhorns,
loud obnoxious alarm clocks that wake the whole house up,
some use money to bribe,
or other goods for leverage.
I'm not into bribing my yahoos to do what they should be doing anyway.
I have a friend who used to pay her kids to go to seminary--5 bucks a day
but guess what?
they still didn't go.
So I don't do that.
Still, she is missing seminary.
But, my goodness!
What am I missing here?
The next 8 mornings are staring me in the face
and I am dreading them!
Any suggestions??
We had one child like this, and we finally had to let the natural consequences happen and just let him be late. It took some time before he realized nobody was going to bail him out, but he eventually took control of getting himself to school on time. Having said that, he barely managed to get class credit that semester because he had so many tardies. It was AWFUL to sit on the sidelines and watch. But, like you, we had tried everything else.
ReplyDeleteI should also add that now, even as an adult, he has to set two alarms and monitor himself very carefully. He really does have a hard time getting up in the mornings...I think there's something different about his sleep cycle. He is just so groggy before 10 AM.
Good luck!
=)
I'll pray for you.
ReplyDeleteRaised 5 myself and I never did get any one of them figured out. Just when I thought I knew the rules they changed them.
Sounds like you are doing everything right.
Hang on and "enjoy" the roller coaster ride?
My mom took away my library books once. I was a lot younger but I know it sure made me mad. But then I did what she wanted me to do!
ReplyDeleteI'm reading to find out. I am on the other end of this, having yet to experience 15.
ReplyDeleteHm....yeah, maybe a day or two of her missing school would do the trick? I dunno
Don't kill her, I would miss you if you went to jail. Take away her books, take her door off again, take lots of tylenol... hang in there, NAN
ReplyDeleteThe only advice I can think of is, take her books away, drag her out of bed, maybe try a reward system. It is true that teenagers don't function properly in the morning - a school here has recently acknowledged this and begun opening its doors an hour later than usual. But when your child has to get up at a certain hour, all you can do is help her learn to manage that. Its kinda like having a preschooler all over again, lol. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteGood question. I was one of those "couldn't get my butt out of bed" kids. My sisters had to wake me up, because my alarm would be blaring right by my head and I would be sound asleep. I'm glad they kept at it, though, the waking me up thing. Just hang in there a few more days, and then hopefully you don't have to worry about getting her up early in the summer. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI am suddenly a little frightened. My hardest (by far) toddler has been #5. And he is only 5 now. Is this a glimpse into my life in a decade?
ReplyDeleteIf it helps at all, my husband is the WORST waker upper ever. It is nearly impossible (I have tried everything). And he has managed to finish med school and become a director. Of course, he works a lot of nights and sleeps in the days, too.
All I can do is commiserate with you!
ReplyDeleteDo you find the girls to be worse than the boys? Because I surely have.
With both my girls I thought I would tear my hair out - seriously rip it out of my head - for both of their Junior and Senior years. It was a nightmare. Same stuff you are talking about up there. I never found a good answer but I was sure glad to get through it.
They are both responsible adults now so "just a teenage girl thing" I don't know.
Breathe deep. Only 8 more days then there is next year. Ugh!
Good luck!!
Mom i don't do this on purpose i justt don't wake up. I can't. really. i can't get up. it's like some weird mind set. I just can't do it. but if you recall i did get up on time last semester! all the time! but idk i think it is end of the syndrome...:D i'm working on it.
ReplyDelete