Sunday, August 15, 2010

That's Just What We Do, Right?--a Birth Story

I have tons of pictures from our camping trip--
it was,
as my yahoos like to say,
Epic.


And as I was uploading said pics on Saturday morning,
there was a disturbance in the Force,
such that, I didn't finish.
I'd just gotten out of the shower,
dressed,
hair still wet,
and honestly, I was poking around
not gettin' a darn thing done.

Camping wears me out a bit,
so I get pokey afterwards.
We were set to go to Elitches in Denver
for the day,
and honestly, I was hoping we could postpone it
til next weekend.
Instead of getting ready to go,
I was on my bahooey at the pc
putting together a blog for a
Celebration of the 15th Anniversary of
 The Family: A Proclamation to the World.
I'd just finished it,
when the phone rang--
it was my cohort-in-crime, Nan
wanting to know if I'd be interested in
being a doula at a hospital birth
for a mutual friend (M.) of ours'
daughter-in-love (Mama Joy*)...
whose due date was August 24th.
Heck yeah! I'm in!
Right then, she got another call--
"Hold on a sec, I've been waiting for this call." she says.
She's gone for a couple of minutes,
returns and says,
"That was M.--
it seems Mama Joy's water has broken.
Can you go over right now?"

I grabbed my shoes,
ran a comb thru my still-damp hair,
and thought to bring my scrubs and doula stuff,
just. in. case.

I picked up Nan on the way,
cuz I didn't know Mama Joy's address and Nan didn't either
but knew how to get there.
When we arrive,
Mama Joy is fretful--
red nose, watery eyes, trembly lips...
I gave this new acquaintance a good hug
and assured her that things will be okay.

After just a few questions,
it sounded certain that her membranes had spontaneously ruptured--
she'd made a call to her hospital and they told her to come in
of course.
Mama Joy hadn't packed her hospital bags yet...
thinking she still had two weeks,
so we quickly came up with a necessity list of things to grab,
and also made a call to see if she could get a
priesthood blessing before leaving--
and within minutes two dear friends were over
to do just that.
Mama Joy was calm afterwards,
as was her young husband, Papa J.

I met them at the hospital
and after a bit of time in the triage,
she was admitted and given a room.
She wasn't having any good quality contractions,
the doctor had already prescribed pitocin
within the hour
if labor didn't progress.
So we took a stroll down the halls
and within 35 minutes,
her ctx were three minutes apart!
YES!!

Mama Joy's goal was an un-medicated birth...
and let me say,
she was awesome!
She'd not taken a single birthing class,
but listened to every direction and counsel I gave her
and acted in every way
with purpose and focus.
Her sweetheart was exactly the same--
he learned to breathe with her,
massage her,
comfort her with encouraging words
after some coaching from me,
I found him to be a wonderful helper for
Mama Joy.
For 20 minutes of every hour,
she had to be on the fetal monitor...
but as soon as she could get off that,
she was moving--
walking the halls
in the shower
in the jacuzzi
standing at a high counter, leaning over it,
while Papa J did hip compressions,
swaying her side to side
helping that little baby move down.
When she had to be in bed,
I used aromatherapy lotion,
tranquil mint
to rub her feet which she loved
and was able to relax so much
that it looked like she was sleeping
between contractions!
We kept her hydrated so well
that she didn't have to have an IV...
tho she did have a hep-lock just in case.

When she was showing signs of transition,
(trembling, vomiting, change in emotion)--
the nurse checked and she was 9 cm dilated!!!
YES!
Within minutes she was complete!
YES YES YES!!!
She got a nice
"rest and be thankful" phase--
where her body stopped contracting for a few minutes.
At that time,
I coached her on what to do next
to bring the baby down
and how to push for the delivery.

She did it exactly as I said,
and twenty minutes later,
she delivered a perfect seven pound
baby boy!

The nurse staff was awesome,
and we all worked together so well.
I loved it
and they did too.
Mama Joy and Papa J. declared,
"we couldn't have done it without you!"--
but they could've and
they would've done it just fine,
ya know?

After family arrived
a few hours later,
hugs went all around
and it was time to go.
As the family was expressing gratitude
for my time and service,
I smiled and said,
"Isn't that what we do?"

I went home a happy doula.

I love what I do.
And to have the opportunity to be a part of a sacred event,
a birth,
is as much a blessing for me
as it was for them.

What lingers for me, even today is this:
I didn't wake up yesterday morning
planning to be at a total strangers'
birth...
that was a total gift
to me.
ya know?
We all have talents and abilities
to bless other people's lives--
I have been on the receiving end many times,
and to be able to pay it forward
to step up with just a moment's notice
is one way I can express my talents in purity
and truly feel those warm fuzzies way deep inside.

And get this!!
This morning, my Nana called--
she's in California visiting.
She doesn't have her own car,
but she wanted to go to church.
So she called a meetinghouse,
and whomever answered the phone

picked her up
took her to church
and another family took her back to the hotel
afterwards
and offered their services to her while she's in California--
a meal,
a place to stay,
a ride to the airport next week...
whatever she needed...
because as they said to her,
"That's just what we do."

Yes,
Yes it is.

*Mama Joy is not her real name. But she was a Joy to me!)

23 comments:

  1. beautiful!!
    absolutely!!
    hugs!!
    Loui♥

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  2. this is wonderful! what a beautiful job you have :-)

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  3. Wow, you had quite the set of adventures! I am impressed that you were willing to rush to the hospital at a moment's notice.

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  4. SO, uh, maybe I can have you on stand-by too??

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  5. That was such a sweet post! And the part about your Nana made my eyes water. I loved that.

    I have a good friend who is so talented and because of that she has many opportunities to share her talents while serving others. I have thought a lot about that lately, and your post brought it to my mind again. Because you have developed the skills, you are given the blessing of service. That is so rewarding. I keep thinking is time for me to start learning some new skills so I can be put to better use.:-)

    Thanks so much for the post.

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  6. Sounds like a great day for you.
    And yes, that is what we do.
    Meals, rides, blessings, ourselves.
    That's what we do.

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  7. I'm such a sucker for birth stories!

    I love doula work, and haven't attended attended any births in months. My son's ongoing health issues combined with the fact that I don't do well as a pregnant doula have combined to leave me sitting on the sidelines for a while. I don't know when, or if, I'll get back to it.

    But in the mean time, I miss it. I feel like I'm missing a big chunk of what makes me me.

    Thanks for sharing your story!

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  8. Yessiree Bob! That is definately "What we do!" I am so happy to be part of the "We".
    Ha Ha When I clicked on your blog I expected a total camping post - I was so surprised to get a birthing story :) A wonderful one too - Very neat!!!

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  9. I think that if I knew you in real life and that if I'd known you when I was pregnant... I could have gone unmedicated. I went th epidural route because of my history of sexual abuse. I think if I'd had someone confident and calm and strong to guide me... I know I could have done it. I asked my mom to be with me in delivery and she flat out refused- said it wasn't her place. Jeff and I both wanted her there. But she wouldn't. She supported me and helped me greatly after delivery- I don't hold it against her. I wanted her there because she would know what I was going through and how to help me.

    Because a mom knows her child and because my mom had been there and done that (3 times).

    So if I could have had you there... I know I could have done it. I'm happy and content with my births- no regrets. But I'm glad there are women like you in the world who are there when needed to help people like me who need you.

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  10. I love reading your birth stories.

    And the story about Nana got me all weepy!

    A perfect Monday morning...

    =)

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  11. I gotta say, Momza, if I were having any more babies, I might just fly you out here to assist with the birth. Beautiful!

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  12. @InkMom: Thanks so much. I bet you are awesome in labor!
    @Sue: It was a perfect Saturday, and I loved it!
    @Liz: There's a midwife saying: "Every woman has the birth she needs"...and I have found that to be true, generally speaking. Sisterhood is wonderful when we are comfortable in our own skin and can accept other women into our circle.
    @Cherie: Camping pics to come!
    @Stacy: Timing is everything. It truly is...your turn will come.
    @Tauna: You are so right!

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  13. @Lori/Joy: I really liked what you said about being prepared so we can serve. We have to have something to offer in the first place...knowing what that is, is a blessing on both ends. I'm sure you bless many people's lives thru your service in Seminary, just for starters!
    @heather: You bet! You've got my number.
    @Teach: The timing was perfect so that I could!
    @sarah: I'm not complaining!
    @Gillian/Lass: Life stories can be the best, yes?
    @Loui: Thank you. I'm happy to share it!

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  14. You can call me Uncle Joy. I'm Mama Joy's brother. Thank you for your post and thank you for helping her! I really wanted to be there for to support her but being so far away made it impossible. Your post really help me appreciate my sister's strength and courage, and also your service! I am grateful to the Lord for putting such a wonderful, helpful person such as yourself in Mama Joy's path that day! God bless, thank you!

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  15. This morning, I rec'd this lovely email, and I hope the sender does not mind my sharing it here. It brought tears to my eyes:

    There are tears in my eyes and a river running down my face as I read your recent blog about your service given in helping a young mother give birth. I am that mama's mama. I can not even begin to tell you how wonderful and grateful and overwhelmed I am feeling right now. Reading your experience with my baby [Mama Joy] and with [Papa J] and the miracle of having little [A.] come into the world - you will never understand how much this has meant to me. Living in Germany is difficult, but having my baby giving birth and not being around was agony....I was going crazy because we have no phone - no internet in our home and no immediate access to even calling to find out how things were going. I still have no phone - am using the library for internet access right now and I think I will go nuts until I can actually talk with [Mama Joy].

    I am so proud of her. [Mama Joy] has never been one for pain...she avoids it at all possible choice. To have her go [thru] this experience and do it all so well - well, honestly I was stunned. You are some AMAZING coach and mid-wife. Please know that your "gift" of love and service will not be forgotten. It really makes this all more bearable for myself and [Mama Joy’s] Dad.

    The [M.’s family] can not say enough about your amazing and wonderful service - and now I am an instant fan!
    Thank you so much. That just doesn't even cover it.

    K.G. – [Mama Joy’s mom and [A’s] OMA!

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  16. Momza,
    This is a fabulous post! I love that you were there, ready and willing to help. It sounds like you brought peace and assurance to the young couple. Reading the email from her mother makes me tear up. We can't always be there for our children, but pray that someone else can help. I'm sure you were an answer to prayers that day!

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  17. @Uncle Joy: So nice of you to comment. But then, if you're anything like your sweet sister, you're pretty special too. You have every reason to admire your sister's strength and courage...she has it in abundance! In case it wasn't clear in my post, the experience was an absolute blessing for me too.
    @Granma Joy: I'm so glad to have been there for your baby. My complete pleasure! I would've felt the same way had it been my own daughter. We're at our best when we're serving, and I certainly felt grateful to be there. (hugs)
    @Connie: We need each other, and it's always a good thing to be an answer to a prayer, spoken or unsaid, yes? Thanks for coming by.

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  18. I loved your story - thank you for sharing, there really isn't anything that compares with assisting a new one into the world for a special couple - what a great experience. I marvel each day at the service of those (mostly women) all around me, I hear of special visits to the sick, assistance with unusual and difficult needs, time and more time to spent to help someone with an overwhelming project, I just keep marveling everyday to imagine that good that goes on all around.

    Kristin

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  19. @Kristin: It is BECAUSE of the many lovely people in my life, that I have learned how to serve also.

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  20. Wonderful! Just love these kinds of experiences!

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  21. I am positively new here - so new that I didn't even know what a "doula" is/was. I must be a lot older than I think or feel. Birthing sure sounds a lot different than my experiences! I appreciate the thought of dropping everything to serve in such a sacred way. I admire you for being able to tackle the one task you couldn't drag me to - a birth. I tried it once - being in a birthing room with my own daughter. I couldn't deal with watching her in pain - or the bleeding. I admire you.

    This is the first time I've participated in the Post of the Week blog hop from Mormon Mommy Blogs. I decided to visit every site listed before mine and follow for reasons of fellowship. So glad that I did. I've learned a lot here today.

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