I offer up a hundred random things
you never wanted to know,
but like a train wreck or a smashed bug
you just can't look away....
So here we go:
1-I was born in Florida.
2-I've lived in ten states...
3-From East to West.
4-Scorpio--extremely passionate, fiercely loyal, brutally honest.
I've tried to cut the brutal off the honesty
in the name of diplomacy.
5-I've been married twice--
6-the first one was to a jerk,
7-for over a decade.
8-I was as happy to get rid of his mother as I was getting rid of him.
There's a whole 'nother post for another day.
9-My Mr. Wonderful and I met online.
10-Not Match.com or Harmony.com or a chat room.
11-In November we'll celebrate 12 years together.
12-I'm keeping him.
13-He says I'm his "external companion."
14-I modeled as a young teenager--
15-bathing suits, no kidding.
16-I was 5'9, 98 lbs.
17-Shyness was my achilles' heel.
18-I was also a cheerleader as a kid...
19-4th, 6th and 8th grade.
20-I can touch my nose with my tongue.
21-I was raised a Southern Baptist.
22-At 16, I converted to the LDS faith.
23-I'm a clutz.
24-I've lost my bathing suit top walking down the street.
25-I've fell on my face
26-in a parking lot
27-in the Church
28-in the yard
29-at the foot of a really cute guy at BYU
30---I wanted to just die right there on the spot.
31-I love the theater.
32-I've seen Camelot with Richard Harris.
33-I hate mean people.
34-If you cross me, I'm not likely to forgive and forget.
35-Loyalty is huge on my list.
36-I love to people watch at LAX.
37-I don't 'get' tattoos at all.
38-Coloring books & markers, people!
39-I sing.
40-I wanna learn to watercolor.
41-I love French- Country designs.
42-I'm thinking of painting my ten-seater oak dining table
creamy white and black.
43-I just have to work up the courage to do it
or find some brave friends to help me!
44-Liver, bologna, corn flakes, and rice-a-roni are on my
DO NOT BUY list.
45-German chocolate cake is my fav and will be devoured until gone.
46-I buy a German chocolate cake about once a year.
47-I censor every media that comes into my house...
music, TV, movies, books--all of it.
48-Country music to show tunes, I like it all
49-'cept angry girl/ emo boy/metal/ rap musak...can't really call it music.
50-I used to watch General Hospital back in the late 70's and 80's because of
Luke and Laura...then it got weirder when Marlene became possessed by the devil
51-and I turned it off for good after some nightmares.
52-I'm fascinating. (lol)
53-Sixty percent black according to that FB quiz I took.
54-I've travelled a little bit--
55-to the UK and across the US.
56-Mr W says I have teeth like chiclets.
57-I'm afraid of bears but not alligators,
58-which Mr W says is "dumb".
59-I'm a professional calligrapher.
60-And a doula.
61-And a homestager.
62-I have encephalopathy, non-specific.
63-Which means in layman's terms I'm losing my mind
and I don't know why.
64-I love the ocean
65-I live in the mountains.
66-Favorite color is green.
67-I don't like re-fried beans.
68-I sleep on my right side.
69-I'm also a psychotic
hard-hearted harbinger of doom.
70-and a petty-minded
72-risk-takin fool.
73-I've gone to Bennigan's restaurant blind-folded
in my pajamas.
74-Wanted for robbery in sixteen states
75-and for jaywalking in thirteen others.
76-I've never owned a motorcycle,
77-80-or a scooter, a backpack, a wig or a diamond tennis bracelet.
81-I was invited to be on Oprah once in 2006.
82-No kidding. I turned her producer down.
83-I was however, featured on "Delilah"
the radio show in 2006.
84-I've never been to Spain,
85-but I kinda like the music.
86-I get car sick in the back seat.
87-I bite my nails.
88-I Like John Denver's music.
89-Totally smitten with Kevin Costner.
90-Crushed on Donny Osmond.
I lied about some of these things--
if you can name 6 of them,
you WIN a prize!!
Seriously!
First person to name six lies correctly WINS!
Simple Pimple Easy Peasy!!
*the Prize is a Fall-filled cornucopia of goodies! And the guessing ends Friday night! You can guess TWICE! Go for it!
*I miscounted, obviously. So there's 90 things not 100, and that ain't a lie.
Okay, so I can't play the game, because I would win, but bring me a prize anyway.... a diet soda would be great.... ha ha Love, NAN
ReplyDeleteThis would take me more brain cells than I have available tonight. But I loved the list.
ReplyDeleteI would love to have you elaborate on your encephalopathy. And you, my friend, are one of the best writers around! Great list.
And kudos to you if you really turned Oprah down. Seriously. Kudos.
ok below is what I think you lied about!!
ReplyDeleteWanted for robbery in sixteen states and for jaywalking in thirteen others. I'm fascinating. lol Sixty percent black according to that FB quiz I took. I have encephalopathy, non-specific. I'm also a psychotic hard-hearted harbinger of doom. and a petty-minded
risk-takin fool.I've never been to Spain,
but I kinda like the music NOW WHY WOULD YOU LIKE THE MUSIC??
1. & 2. Wanted for robbery in sixteen states
ReplyDeleteand for jaywalking in thirteen others.
3. I'm also a psychotic
hard-hearted harbinger of doom.
4. I buy a German chocolate cake about once a year.
5. I've never owned a backpack
6. I was 5'9, 98 lbs. (Not that I don't believe you weren't that skinny, you just don't look like you're that tall.)
the jaywalking and robbery ones are a given...then the swimsuit model, and 98lbs(don't know if those are considered two or one) the backpack, and you said 10 states but listed 11, so one of those is false...not sure which one...hmmm, CA? I think that's six...
ReplyDelete@Lisalulu: You got more right than you got wrong.
ReplyDelete@Heather: Half right.
@Moody: You know at least two!
I had to jump to comments to tell you that I saw Richard Harris in Camelot when I was a young teen... and even got to cross the stage before the show, meet him, and got his autograph!
ReplyDelete@Liz: 1994-ish?
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up.
ReplyDeleteYou aren't wanted.
You didn't lose your swimming suit top in the church parking lot.
You aren't wanted for jaywalking.
You losing your mind is hereditary... you are getting it from your kids.
Everything else seems believable about you. I bet Oprah is sorry she didn't get you on her show.
Garden of Tauna: You got TWO right!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I don't know six, but I definitely know #69 is false! As well as the robbery stuff. I also don't think you will hold a grudge, but I do think you can be a bit of a momma bear (but that is a good thing). Oh, and I KNOW that you are fascinating so that is definitely NOT a lie!
ReplyDeleteBut I was surprised you didnt' say anything about Macayo's salsa. :-)
@Lori/Joy: You got as many right as you got wrong!
ReplyDeleteAnd oh how I love Macayos! We're down to our last bottle...considering we bought every single bottle on the shelf at Fry's when we were down there last October! Nan is coming to AZ this month for her daughter's reception, so I think I'll beg/bribe her to bring some more back for me! But get this!!--we found Macayos Enchilada sauce HERE at Walmart!
Ok, now that was good. I love lists like this, it helps me get a better picture of who you are, (with the exception of a few little lies).
ReplyDeleteI am not going to venture to what is truth and what are lies but I will say about #42...DO IT!!!!! You won't regret it.
I hope the oak table is a lie.
ReplyDeleteI assume the robbery is.
And the "being wanted" for jaywalking. (I'm sure you've DONE it 13 times...)
Hard to believe you were ever shy.
And I truly hope you've turned Oprah down. Someone needs to.
(I think I remember that you are smitten by Kevin Costner, but I wish you were not. Does that count?)
=)
@Connie: Thanks for the encouragement!
ReplyDelete@Sue: Ya got as many right as you got wrong!
The blogspot elves are not letting me comment today. I am wondering if I need to update my browser? Anyhow.....here are my guesses. Loved you post. You were really on a roll.
ReplyDelete1. If you are 5-9, Mr.Wonderful is at least 7'.
2. 74 & 75, very cool ~ I don't think so!
3. Crazy, yes ~ psychotic, NO
4. Petty, no....you don't have time to be!
5. #34....I don't believe for a second.
6. Risk taking fool, probably not.
7. And I think you’re a pie person, not cake
There is also that "I'm fascinating" thing. You are, but there are days when you don't feel so fascinating!
Was your first m-i-l really that bad? Shame on that woman!
Hope the Labor Day Weekend is awesome for you all!
Blessings & hugs,
Cheryl/prairiemaid
@PrairieMaid/Cheryl: Getting warmer!
ReplyDeleteMomza you make me laugh!!!!
ReplyDeleteOK here goes...
1.I was 5'9, 98 lbs (You're not 5'9")
2.Wanted for robbery in sixteen states
3.and for jaywalking in thirteen others
4.I buy a German chocolate cake about once a year
(Surely you buy it more than that!)
5.If you cross me, I'm not likely to forgive and forget
6.I'm also a psychotic hard-hearted harbinger of doom--no way
Momza, I am not even going to guess!! I loved this, it made me laugh and I needed that today! Thank you! So....maybe....16, 20, 34, 69, 70 and 74. Thats my guesses and I'm stickin to it!
ReplyDelete@Missy: You got as many right as you got wrong!
ReplyDelete@PattyAnn: Half right!
I'm fascinated just by reading everyones guesses, I was smitten just by reading your list - so hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI with you on the encephal-whatever, I'm missing major portions of my own. Perhaps from watching General Hospital back in the 70's also :)
I have been to Spain and I kinda like the music,especially for dancing which I love.
Very much fun - let's do this again soon please!
Kristin
Love the list. I would never to attempt to guess where you were fibbing. Hopefully the armed robbery one. I also loved Luke and Laura. I have happily kicked the soap opera habit.
ReplyDeleteI WAS going to comment on things we had in common, but now I'm thinking those might be the LIES, so I'll keep my mouth shut until I know better.
ReplyDelete