And Now A Word About "Hoarding"

I stage homes for the sales market.

That means, I get paid to go into someone's home

and tell them how to prepare their home to sell.

It starts with an Initial Consultation appointment.

Most people, and I mean 99% of the homes I am invited into

are

typical

family

homes.

A little 'lived-in' mess here and there,

nothing that looks 

out 

of 

control.

I've seen many "collections" in these homes:

roosters

dolls

trophy animals

sports trophies

and the like.

Human nature is to be a "gatherer"--

some more than others--

this, I am used to.

I've seen piles of laundry, bills, toys

stuffed here and there where space will allow.

Being a mother of seven myself,

I like to think I've got a realistic grip

on what a lived-in house hold looks like.

I get it.

My house is not in 

"staging-to-sell" condition, either.

But after an incident today,

I think it might be a public service if I share

some stuff about the differences between a

"Collector" 

and a

"Hoarder".

The house I went today was a broken house.

On the outside, it appeared as a normal house

on a regular street in a normal neighborhood.

I knew it wasn't normal when the door opened,

and 

Whoa.

Whoa!

WHOA!

The smell hit me first.

Then I saw 3 pomeranian dogs vying for attention

with their yippy barking...

as my eyes scanned the floor

following the trail of the smell

I saw little piles of dog mess 

all.

over.

the floor.

Dried up, smeared all over the carpet.

The homeowner casually said,

"Oh yeah. We have five dogs.We're giving a carpet allowance."

A carpet allowance to a potential buyer

if they can look past the kennel-like scene

and want to put money into a pit?

As I tip-toed around the stained carpet,

watching my every move,

I also noticed the clutter...it wasn't just clutter though,

it was like this:

Only,

the homeowner had a running "theme" throughout

the entire house.

Themed homes generally translate very poorly.

This house was no exception

with this theme:

yep.

Howling wolf.

everywhere.

On the walls,

in the halls,

on the switchplates

in a box

on a fox

in a boat

on a goat--

just like Visa

everywhere you wanna be.

I am not kidding.

Her life has gone to the dogs.

literally.

I went thru the house with this obviously damaged woman--

she kept blaming the mess upon her "ex"--

come to find out he's been gone for three and half years.

I suggested this move might be healing for her--

she can start fresh and encouraged her to purge things now

before she moves.

OK, so here's the "Take Away"--

don't buy your home decor in bulk.

If you like to collect things,

keep it in good taste.

Like roosters?

Buy a couple for the kitchen and that's it.

People will know you're keen on roosters.

Like dolls?

Buy a couple for your daughters, granddaughters,

or nieces.

You may put one, possibly two

in a display case in a guest room.

That's it.

If you really must buy dolls,

consider donating them to halfway homes for families

or similar charities.

Don't use them to decorate your house.

Same thing goes for "themes"--

used in good taste and sparingly,

you can express your love of say,

wolves in the moonlight

with a picture and an accessory or two.

Just like booze,

know when to say when, my friends.

And, a word to friends of friends who over-buy themes,

roosters, baby dolls, Nascar chicken buckets,

sports teams and yes, howling wolves

accessories--

do not enable them.

Friends don't let friends drive drunk.

Neither do they support poor taste in home decor.

Be a real friend,

give a true answer when your rooster-babydoll-howling-wolf-hoarding friend

asks you,

"Isn't that nice?"

"What do you think?"

Tell them the truth.

Blame me-- I don't care.

Say it simply and firmly,

"Put down the rooster-babydoll-howling-wolf-Nascar-chicken-bucket

and step away."

Follow it with a gentle but encouraging,

"You can do better."

AND, if you are wondering if you're in over your head with your "collections",

be brave and ask someone who loves you

to tell you if you've crossed the line yet into

Hoarderdom.

Don't take the truth to be hard, my friend.

Take the truth and run with it.

Oh and animals are not for "collecting" period.

What's the difference between a Collector and a Hoarder?

That's not a tricky as it sounds.

A collector is someone who can joyfully invest in people and other interests

as well as collections.

Hoarders, from what I have seen and understand to be so--

have negative emotional/co-dependency ties to their things more so than

positive emotional ties to relationships.

A hoarder needs their things.

That's a general statement and I'm not claiming to know much more than that,

hoarding is considered a mental illness that can be treated.

Here's one organization that can help,

The International OCD Foundation.

I hope this helps someone, truly.

One of the pure joys I get from being a home stager

is being invited into people's homes--

their sanctuaries, if you will,

and that is a great privilege to me.

I so enjoy helping them on their journey

as their lives transition from one stage to another.

The best compliments we get are in the line of,

"Wow! We love our home even more! It's going to be harder to leave!"

Then, we know we've done our best to show their home at it's finest

and puts them in a better position to sell the home quickly so they can move forward

to the next chapter of their lives.

SO,

don't clutter your life with stuff.

You're not a whale.

You don't need barnacles.

You were never meant to be defined by your "stuff".

You're much MORE than that.

And don't ignore the messes in your house.

It's your home. Your sanctuary. 

Treat it with care and fill it with love.