What do I Know About Motherhood Anyway?

Waking up before the sun this morning,
I had one thought on my mind:
the audition for Listen To Your Mother show...
11:15am in Boulder.

I had picked the essay I wrote,
tweaked it,
practiced it with my awesome speech-class winner, Nana,
quite a few times last night
but this morning found me re-writing, re-tweaking,
re-anything-ing it
until I started talking myself OUT of going altogether.

What do I know about Motherhood anyway?

Kent asked me how I was going to introduce myself:

"Hi, I'm Dawn. The Momza of seven. Gramma to 4.
My yahoos are the best people on the planet, although
they've made me poor, fat and paranoid."


The first two adjectives are evident. lol The "paranoid" fits so perfectly
because I never know what's going to happen next, thanks to my yahoos.

What do I know about Motherhood?

I've been a mother longer than I haven't been a mother
on this earth.
And that is a long freaking time, people.

I know not to wear silk anymore. Ever.
Or anything that has to be Dry Cleaned Only.
I know to skip the cookie aisle altogether when I have a
cartfull of toddlers,
as well as bribing "The Toy Aisle" as a reward
if they're good while I get the actual groceries I went there for.

I know that teenagers need as much sleep as toddlers,
even when they say they don't,
and the Mom gets the final say on "bed time"--
which saves everyone's sanity--especially Mom's.

I know enough to say "YES" when I mean "YES"
and "No" when "yes" isn't the right or the easy answer.

I can spot a hairy-faker across a room
or across a phone line.
I am not afraid to "fact-check"
sketchy information: "No, Mom, I have no homework."
sketchy friends: "His Mom said we could..[fill in the blank]."
sketchy-anything..."Don't worry Mom, I got this."

I know a real stomach-ache from an "I-have-a-test-this-morning-stomach-ache".
Real tears vs. crocodile tears...pshht. Don't even.
A sincere, "I'm sorry" vs. a "I'll-say-I'm-sorry-so-I-can-get-out-of-this-situation-sorry".

Having a rotten day with a 12 year old?
Keep them home from school and have them work alongside you all day--
doing laundry, grocery shopping, making beds, scrubbing the bathtub...
before you know it,
you're talking to each other without restraint,
laughing and loving again.
Totally works.

Having a rotten day with a 17 year old?
Getting the silent treatment?
Pull them aside, cup their faces in your hands and say:
" I LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT."

The words, "I'm sorry." are under-rated, under-used
and some of the most powerful words in the human language.

I know enough to Stand Firm when it involves morals and safety
and when to bend when it doesn't.

I know when to say, "I don't know. Let's find out."
And when to say, "That's not my dog."

Where to hide cookies and christmas gifts, and chocolate for rainy days!

I know to stay up when the teenagers are hoping I'll go to bed early,
so they aren't caught cheating their curfew.

I know that laughter really can keep things in perspective
when things get out of whack and tensions are high.
And common sense is better than most "senses" when it comes to
teaching or correcting my charges...once emotions get involved,
it gets kinda messy.  And nobody likes messy.


I know that Motherhood is a gift from our Creator,
to be His partner in raising children to adulthood
is the greatest calling and privilege afforded us
in this Life.
And He is the truest, most gracious partner one could ask for,
because He understands better than I do,
what's at stake here.
That's what I know.
So far.

Whew. I love being a Mother.

That's why I went to Boulder this morning.
Nana & Jud went with me and got to sit in on the audition
with the producers...
I was pretty nervous, not gonna lie.
But I did it.
I left my comfort zone and shared my truth,
front and center.
And now,
we wait.
Cast will be revealed on Wednesday.