My Tender Mercy and John Denver

 “Truly, for those with faithful hearts and eyes to see, the Lord’s tender mercies are manifest amidst life’s challenges.”~ Elder Gerrit W. Gong

Recently, I had to go to the hospital 3 times in one week.  It was a hard week.  That Monday, I was scheduled for a procedure that I've had once before in December--it was an outpatient thing and required only a day of rest afterwards.  I expected the same results from this one.  But the whole process was distinctive: different doctor, different hospital, different way of doing the procedure.  And a competely different recovery, which brought me back to the ER on that Tuesday night/Wednesday morning and another procedure on that Friday.  It was easily the worst pain I've ever felt.

But here's the good part:

I was in pain and feeling fragile and nervous about the procedure the night before and a good man, Brother Ramsay, came over to our house and helped Kent give me a priesthood blessing.  One of the blessings for me said I could have faith and trust in the doctors who were going to care for me.  That was a big deal to me, because I didn't know the surgeon beforehand.

When I was brought into the OR on Friday, I noticed there was no music playing--now, I have been to the hospital so many times in the past year, I am used to music playing in the OR.  This time it was silent.  If you know me, music is a great comfort to me.

Okay, in the OR and there's no music-- I am laying face down and cannot see anyone's face in the room.  I asked my attending nurse if they could play some music.  She said, "Sure, what would you like to hear?"  I answered, "John Denver."    Now, my first thought was "Mormon Tabernacle Choir" because I always feel the Spirit when I listen to them.  But then John Denver's name came out of my mouth before I had another thought!

The nurse asked the OR tech if he could play some John Denver.  He said, "Absolutely."  She then said, "Dr. Waggart likes John Denver too."

Within seconds, John's voice is filling the air and all of the other nurses and the Dr came into the room.  I couldn't see any of them, but what I could hear, is that they all began singing along with the song, "Rocky Mountain High"...it was perfect.  My nerves calmed, and I felt seen and cared for in a special way. The corrective procedure worked and I am recovering well. 

And, y’all know I love Colorado, so wow! what a memorable experience for me!  This may sound so cheesy to some, but to my heart, it was a tender mercy from heaven.

Does our Heavenly Father hear and answer prayers?  My witness is that He does, in His perfect timing and tender, meaningful ways.

Have you seen God's hand in your life lately?  I'd love to hear about it, if you're willing to share.  Thank you❤️

The Loving Heavenly Principle of Repentance & an MRI

 

Recently, I had to get an MRI my brain.  As I was laying on the platform table, with the head gear on to hold the position of my head still for imaging, I was slowly moved into the MRI chamber.  The tech said it would be about 25 minutes of stillness.  Once in the confined space, I thought I’d do better if I focused on a topic to comfort my mind and body during the procedure.  I decided to focus on Jesus Christ: what I know about His life, His nature and His relationship with me.  I quickly went through the scriptures that witness of his birth, mission, atonement and crucifixion and resurrection.  Then I recalled the witness of Joseph Smith in the Sacred Grove and the Restoration of the Church.  And then, thought of specific instances when I’ve witnessed His presence in my life.   Which then led me to think—How has any of this blessed my Life??

I thought of my family asking the same thing—how has the gospel blessed us in meaningful ways?  I have seven children—each of them are strong-minded, independent human beings with a variety of personalities, skills, and challenges.  As different levels of maturity existed, there were times of discord and contention, hurt feelings and misunderstandings.  When my children were very little, we talked about the principle of repentance in family relationships.  Asking for and accepting forgiveness.  It’s not enough to say “I’m sorry” –there must be a change in behavior that the offender accepts responsibility for, so that the apology is meaningful and has credibility.  An example comes to mind when my youngest two were in grade school—Joseph, the oldest, at around 6 years old, had repeatedly offended his younger sister—and he had offered his apologies over and over again, but the behavior hadn’t changed until one day, he said, “I’m sorry.” To which 5 year old Arianna responded, “I don’t ass-ept it.”  Joseph was shocked by her response; “You have to accept it! You have to! Mom, tell her!”  Ari then scolded him for not changing his behavior: “You’re just saying it, but you don’t mean it. SO, I don’t ass-ept it.”    A sincere apology is where true repentance begins.

Many years ago, I made some mistakes that I needed to repent for—I worked with my Bishop and leaned into the scriptures and discovered what the prophets describe as “godly sorrow”.  Godly Sorrow is a gift of the Spirit wherein I felt great distress over the pain I personally caused the Savior to atone. It is a truly sorrowful grief.  To feel my repentance was accepted by the Lord elevated my relationship with Him, as I came to understand more fully the nature of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father.  I tasted the sweetness of forgiveness, of wholeness and peace and the full company of the Holy Ghost.   I was a changed person. I learned that as I needed mercy, I also needed to extend mercy to others.

So, I brought this loving heavenly principle into my parenting for the sake of strengthening family relationships. It has blessed us just as I hoped it would.  My children are especially tightly knit.  That is not to say that they all agree on everything—but they do respect one another and are careful to make amends when feelings are hurt.  My daughter in law, Tisha, who also comes from a large family noted that when our family gets together, we just talk and enjoy one another, whereas in her family there must be a distraction like an activity that they all deem worthy of their time and effort. Otherwise, there is contention—often left over from childhood. In contrast, our kids just want time together to laugh and talk about life.  They’ve learned how to ask for forgiveness and how to extend forgiveness equally.  “I don’t ass-ept it” is still a phrase we refer to as a teaching tool in our family relationships. Actions speak louder than words any day.

When we apply gospel principles in our family relationships, we have been strengthened and blessed.  My grown adult children are each other’s best friends—they speak daily, they care for one another in meaningful ways, they are open in their expressions of gratitude for one another and turn to each other when life is hard.  They love their nieces and nephews, and this is probably just one reward for practicing repentance and forgiveness in our family.  

As I lay there in the MRI machine, I couldn’t hold back the tears of gratitude for the loving heavenly principle of Repentance.  It is a foundation of our family and we wouldn’t be who we are without it.  Focusing on Jesus Christ in all things and in all places—literally can bless us all.

The Book of Mormon: A Love Story --My Sacrament Talk

The Book of Mormon. What can I say that you haven’t already heard someone else say, right?
Pondering and praying this week that I can share what this 522 page book means to me, in a way that you too will want to read it.
I believe that Heavenly Father speaks to me in a way I can understand, just as Nephi says in 2Nephi 31:3 “For my soul delighteth in plainness; for after this manner doth the Lord God work among the children of men. For the Lord God giveth light unto the understanding; for he speaketh unto men according to their language, unto their understanding.”
If there are those of you who are wondering what’s in this meeting for you today, I want to invite you to apply that scripture to yourself right now.
I love this book.  You should know that about me.
What if I told you why I love it? Would it help you to love it too?
In my effort to become a Disciple of Jesus Christ, I have made several covenants—
To follow Him, to keep His commandments, to stand as a witness of Him, to carry His name in my heart at all times and in all places.
I love my covenants. I identify as a covenant maker and keeper.  I belong to Him. He is my truest, dearest Friend.  I want to know and become like Him.
Reading the Book of Mormon helps me to reach that goal.
I have found that attending my meetings, praying often, partaking of the sacrament, attending the temple and keeping my covenants, and even fulfilling all of my callings—doing all of those essential things blesses my life but in reading my scriptures, specifically the Book of Mormon,  I live more abundantly in the warmth of the Spirit. 
Written by believers, This is a book about True Love.  Love for God, love for Jesus Christ, love for the Gospel, love for self and family, for friend and enemies, for country and liberty, for peace and abundance and love for heavenly things.
Written by prophets who, by divine command and direction, recorded their people’s lives as a testament of their faith and obedience and the blessings that were poured out upon them that followed.  And the sad, terrible heartbreaking consequences when the people turned their backs on godly things instead chasing the ever-elusive worldly “happiness”.
If we accept it for what it is—a heavenly guide to return our heavenly home—if we read it with the intention of learning from it, it will change our mortal nature as the hymn “More Holiness Give Me” declares:
“More fit for the kingdom,
More used would I be,
More blessed and holy—
More, Savior, like thee.”

I have found myself at times, overwhelmed by the vicissitudes of life, and searching for direction and answers to prayers.  When I approach the scriptures with those needs, I am never disappointed.
I am comforted, enlightened, and more hopeful.

My favorite scriptures include:

• 2 Nephi 31:3: God speaks to us in a way we can understand him.
• 3 Ne 17: here is the account of Jesus Christ’s personal ministry to the people, beginning in Verse 5… 
• 5 And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus spoken, he cast his eyes round about again on the multitude, and beheld they were in tears, and did look steadfastly upon him as if they would ask him to tarry a little longer with them.
• 6 And he said unto them: Behold, my bowels are filled with compassion towards you.

Can you feel the weight of their gaze upon him and the silent pleas of their hearts? What would you feel if you were there?
I relate to this scripture on a personal level.  In 1987, we had the opportunity for a general authority to bless our special needs child. Later that evening, I was searching the scriptures and came to this one…I too wanted to linger in the moment of spiritual and physical healing.  It is so profoundly the very essence of Godly love.

At a time of great distress in my life, I was unsure of the future.  I had made mistakes and wondered if God knew me and loved me—again I turned to the scriptures and came to Mosiah 4:9:
“Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.”
I can recall the very moment when I came to love King Benjamin. It was reading his declaration right there.  Believe in God. Trust in His power. I can do that.

And of course, Alma 46: 19:
“And when Moroni had said these words, he went forth among the people, waving the rent part of his garment in the air, that all might see the writing which he had written upon the rent part, and crying with a loud voice, saying:

20 Behold, whosoever will maintain this title upon the land, let them come forth in the strength of the Lord, and enter into a covenant that they will maintain their rights, and their religion, that the Lord God may bless them.

21 And it came to pass that when Moroni had proclaimed these words, behold, the people came running together with their armor girded about their loins, rending their garments in token, or as a covenant, that they would not forsake the Lord their God…”.
My favorite words from that passage are "the people came running"...if I imagine myself in that crowd, I can easily, hopefully, see my self as one of those that "came running" to make a sacred covenant with the Lord for the blessings of protection for the things I love.

How has reading the Book of Mormon blessed my life?  A feeling of hope and calm rests in my heart.  I sees things more clearly and my ability to keep my covenants is more focused and spiritually lifting.

As it tells the story of Love, I find more love in my life. More love for my Heavenly Father, more love for my Savior, more love for the Gospel, more love and mercy for my Self, more love for my husband and my children, more love for my friends, neighbors and enemies, more love my country and liberty, more love for the prophets and more love for the scriptures.

My invitation to you is to open your heart just as a vessel receives water and read your favorite scriptures today. And you can do like I like to do when a New Year comes, instead of making “resolutions”, decide to learn something new.  Read your scriptures with the intent to learn from them how you can more abundantly feel the love that is in them.







I recently had a chance to chat with another woman about talents--
mainly about the sharing of information about her artistic processes
with others who are just beginning the journey to discover their own talents and abilities.

I've worked with a great many Creatives, as I like to call them--the people who are passionate about
their artistic work--painters, designers, arts and crafts type, midwives, florists and on & on.  I've met them through various ways, basically as I have been forging my own trail of Self-Discovery.

You know which are my favorites?  The ones that share.
They're the ones I remember with gratitude for the moments we walked together on the same path, even for a short time; I smile when I think of them.
They may be miles ahead in terms of advanced skillsets and experience...but they met me where I was on that path and slowed their pace down and generously shared a peek into their creative processes...then our paths diverged and we tossed a smile over our shoulders and kept going.

Following their examples, I try to be a cheerleader for others who are also on their personal paths of Self-Discovery...thinking about an art class I took last spring--we were at the foot of Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs-- a class of around 20 or so, varying in ages and skills and we met there to do some plein air renderings of the Front Range mountains with Pikes Peak right there in the back.

There wasn't any distinct instructions from the Art Professor--she'd already covered the basics in previous classes--so we arrived at the spot, opened our supplies, and started painting the landscape in front of us at our own will and direction.
After an hour, we took a break--something the teacher encouraged--to step back for a moment and look with new eyes at the subject.  During the break, we walked around to see what everyone else was painting.  Not one single student painting looked like mine.  Some were SO obviously above my skillset that day, that I can recall one in particular that just took my breath away because it was just what I would paint if I could paint that good! All of them were interesting and evident of the students abilities.
When I think about that day--we had the same instructor, we had similar tools, the same landscape in front of us--the thing I smile about most is the liberty to express it in our own way was enough.

Two missionaries out

I kneel to pray ev’ry day. I speak to Heav’nly Father. 

 He hears and answers me When I pray in faith. 

 I begin by saying “Dear Heavenly Father”; 

 I thank him for blessings he sends; 

 Then humbly I ask him for things that I need, 

 In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

  Words and music: Janice Kapp Perry, b. 1938 

 So many prayers have been said for me and mine, especially this past year, it has been quite the journey. I want to remember these days of light when the clouds gather and my eyes are dark. First: I love seeing the growth in our son as he serves a mission; he is a happy missionary, by his own account. And he's down to the last six months of his two year commitment. The blessings he's received has surpassed the sacrifices made.

This Colorado-born young man, had to move away to Oregon to be called back to his home state--and he couldn't have been happier! He's been serving in Wyoming--which he says is the "best state of all states".

  Embracing the culture of Wyoming came easily and completely for our outdoors-lovin' Elder.  He's learned how to rope, inoculate cattle, and do all kinds of other ranch work--which he hopes to continue post-mission. 

 Flanked by his two great buddies from Eugene, Oregon--all three joined in the same mission for a bit due to Covid19 restrictions.  Elder Siepert and Elder Strasdas on reassignments provided a joyful reunion.

And in two days, our youngest, Arianna, will leave to serve in the Tennessee Nashville Mission!

She surprised us with her decision to serve a mission and though the journey to this point has not been without anxiety and yes, a few tears, we are behind her 100%!

Arianna, the "Caboose" in our family is packed up

and though a little anxious still, 

ready to answer her call to serve.

 

 December 2020!

The year poured out like molasses on cold toast...ever so slowly.

We got three months to the gallon of gas as all of humanity hit "PAUSE" in an historic year controlled by a novel coronavirus that began in Wuhan, China.  For reasons I don't understand, the most brilliant minds of the world couldn't come up with a way to mitigate/control/cure this virus before it killed hundreds of thousands of people across every continent, valleys and mountains, time zones, demographics, race, creed and color.   

TO protect ourselves, we were told to STAY SAFE/STAY HOME and to WEAR A MASK, to Stay 6 feet away from others, and to use hand sanitizer like our lives depended upon it.  

I've journaled my experiences throughout this whole thing so I won't go into much else--besides, if you're reading this in 2020, you already know what 2020 has been like for our country and our world.  I don't think I have anything original to say about it.

Mostly, I'm grateful to have gotten through the year without having been infected. Not me, not my family--which are all over the western/southwestern US.  Even our youngest daughter who moved to Phoenix, Arizona in the Spring to become an essential worker with her older sister, each avoided getting the virus. I am most grateful for the protection we've had, and can only attribute this to answered prayers.

My focus tonight is to share what it's been like for us as a family:

Starting with our move from Eugene, OR to Canby, OR. on February 24th, 2020.  We knew noone here and honestly, aside from a couple of people who've reached out via phone calls from our ward, we still know noone. I can recognize two people who work at the Post Office, and our doctors. It is weird to be invisible in the community you live in during a pandemic. It's been awfully quiet. Mr W worked from home since two weeks after we moved here and still is.  We felt impressed not to purchase a home here, so we're tucked in a gated apartment community with our dogs. With nothing but time on my hands, I worked on my art skills and took to sending out cards to everyone I thought could use a bit of sunshine--all over the world. (That's how I know the PO workers!) I took more commissions this year than any other, especially in the Spring and Fall.  It blessed my life to have something to do with my days.

Also, all of the husbands in the family worked from home and kept their employment so that we didn't have that extra burden of job insecurity that many faced. Tisha, our DIL, is a teacher in the Boise area, and she had a few hurdles to be able to teach remotely and face-to-face in smaller classes. Her school district clearly wasn't ready for this situation, as many adaptions evolved.  

Our missionary, Joseph, reported to his mission a year from today, actually. Just before coronavirus seized the world.  He barely got into his area and through one transfer, when he took a bumpy ride through a couple more transfers--which involved a few moves around and new companions in each instance. Missionaries were sent home in the thousands, tens of thousands across the world to get each missionary back to their home land.  They had between 24-36 hours' notice in some cases.  The church also went through some rollercoaster adjustments to meet different countries' evacuation mandates. Luckily, our son got to stay out, but it wasn't easy as missionaries went into isolation lock downs. It was hard. No in person teaching or meeting with other people--in some weeks they couldn't even meet with other missionaries. Our son was feeling the effects of this and wondered if he was able to endure this kind of life. He was homesick and talked about coming home several times.  Our whole family supported him with many calls and letters and Amazon deliveries of treats and vitamins, games and distractions to kill time.  At one point, in March, I ordered a WELCOME HOME banner, in case he decided to come home.  I was going to welcome him like a rockstar no matter how long he'd been out! I didn't tell him that though. We encouraged him along, prayed for his well-being and told him we'd support his decision whatever it was. It was hard.  But you know, serving a mission is a humanitarian service first and foremost, it is voluntary. That he stayed out with no end to the lockdowns in sight is a credit to his desire to serve, and to his Mission President who told Joseph he needed him there. 

Joseph rode out the Spring and by Summer, he'd been out for five transfers, had five companions and five areas.  For someone who hates changes, he learned to be flexible and adapt on the hoof. He stayed the course, even as others left. He stayed and is happy that he did.  He's on his 9th transfer I think, and loves mission life!  His personal growth has been remarkable.  I always told him that because of his stature, he could never just slip into a room unnoticed.  So he had a great opportunity to be a welcomed sight in every room he stepped into--"Oh thank goodness, Elder Anderson is here."--kind of person.  He reports that he is "volun-told" to do a great many things in the mission and he's OK with that.  Some of which includes: working on a pig ranch, tagging pigs, cleaning stalls, working on a cattle ranch, building decks, clearing land, building pens, and moving people in and out of homes.  His mission is so truly for him, as his love of the outdoors has been nurtured: he's gotten to go fishing and hiking in the mountains, and taken his MP hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park, along with other missionaries.  He's also taught his district how to butcher and cook chickens. In one city area, he got to be on a golfing group--his companion was a Jr. pro golfer, so together they upped their golfing skills. Joseph's old siblings tease him about the unique mission experiences that are so perfectly designed for him. We can't tell if he's on a mission or a vacation sometimes!  Either way, he's a hardworking missionary and if you knew him at all, a tired Boofus is a happy Boofus.

So, let's keep going while I've got a minute.

Arianna, our Caboose, our Bee.  She started out at BYU-I a year ago Sept 2019. With the pandemic, she came home in January for holidays, but when it was time to go back, the campus was basically closed to living there. Struggling with anxiety and depression even before the pandemic, we jumped at the opportunity to move her to a sunny place and a job.  I've shared before her faith journey--it has been rocky.  All we could do was love her endlessly and pray for her to feel Heavenly Father's love for her.  She felt stagnant, is how I can best describe it.  Well, things turned around three months ago:  her sister had a dream about her.  She was happy and smiling and wearing a yellow polka dotted dress and a black nametag on it.  A black nametag is what missionaries wear on their clothes.  She took her dream to Arianna and encouraged her to consider serving a mission, to pray about it because she was so happy in the dream.  Now, our girl had never ever said she wanted to serve a mission. In fact, she'd said the exact opposite. A mission was not for her. No way, no how.  But she felt something when her sister shared that dream...so much so, that she made an appointment right away with her Bishop and started her mission application. She'd wanted it to be a surprise for me, only to tell me once she got her call, but we had a bump in the road and she had to tell me.  I was shocked. No idea at all.  So grateful for answered prayers. She had to get her medical and dental visits done before she could submit the application--which takes alot of time during a pandemic! She just this week had her final meeting with the Bishop down in AZ and will have her final meeting with the Stake President down there on Sunday. I'm still amazed. She is giddy and nervous and happy with her decision.

And another miracle to share:  Our Diana and her husband have been married six years. Due to infertility issues, they had little hope of creating a family.  So resigned to this, Diana had applied to and been accepted to Parker University of Chiropractic College in Dallas, Texas to begin in January.  She'd been taking her pre-req chemistry/physiology/anatomy classes to prepare.  She figured that if she wasn't going to be a mother she would become a Chiropractor and have a lifelong career.  In November, she called complaining about fatigue, food aversions, smells aversions and nausea.  I said that she might be pregnant! She wasn't convinced, but after we hung up she took a few pg tests--each one reading Positive.  After an appt with her GYN, it was confirmed that she is indeed pregnant and due June 2021!

Now I should share that I'd been praying for awhile that 2020 would be the Year of the Baby for our Nanadoos.  She has a mother's heart and always has.  When she called and told me the symptoms, I got on my knees and told Heavenly Father that this was her chance to be a mother, otherwise I knew she'd close that door to motherhood indefinitely to pursue a career. Wouldn't this be such a great time to send a baby, I wondered? When she called to tell us the news, she said, "I knew that you knew! You said 2020 was the Year of the Baby!"

So here we are, at the end of the year 2020.  I have seen some miracles this year. It has been so devastating for so many, but my witness is that God is in control. That there is still much good to come to us and although this life is not all there is in the eternities, He is in the details of our lives. He hasn't left us to fend for ourselves--we have discovered how resilient and strong we are, and how much we can rely on each other too.  This great "PAUSE" has blessed in ways we hardly comprehend.  To quote President Russell M Nelson, there are better days ahead.

My family:

Day & Jay: She finished her BS in Psychology and he's received many scholarships in his Architectural Design program at the Univ of Oregon.

Our Idaho Family

Deano with a trout last summer

Our Saudi family is back in the States

my mug:  getting old bites

2020: Moving Again

I'm packing up to move again.
It'll be the second time in 2.5 years.
Mr W did not get the job offer in Colorado as hoped,
but he did get a one in a town north of Eugene
 and he accepted it.

So we're moving one hundred miles to a place
that is exactly where my Heavenly Father wants us to be.
It's a tiny town.  The smallest I think I've ever lived as an adult.
The one street that runs through it is a secondary highway.
One high school. Two grocery stores. No theater.
Less than four square miles end to end.
There's no homes to buy either.
Well, I looked yesterday and there was ONE.

So while we looked at different areas around this town,
more towards Portland in towns like Wilsonville,
we even had a realtor show us some properties--
but nothing felt right, so we chose to move into an apartment
in the little town until the right thing comes along.

Good things about the move:
It's 2 miles from Mr W's  work.
Twenty-two minutes from the Portland Temple.
Seventeen minutes from Costco and Target.
It's not in a valley like Eugene is,
so it gets more SUNSHINE!
Those are soul-affirming things on their own.
And I am grateful.

I am grateful.
I am developing gratitude even when I cannot see the purpose of this journey.
Even when I'm thinning out belongings and packing up again
to move some place I'm not sure about.
Even when I'd rather, SO MUCH, rather,
move home to the Springs.
Because I believe that God has a purpose for my life.
He has promised me that my life shall be "exciting and joyful."

Last weekend, we took a drive to the Oregon coast.
I cast my eyes on the Pacific Ocean horizon,
with it's wintery clouds enveloping the cliffs and giant sequoias
and again I thought,
"I didn't know Heavenly Father had this in store for me.  I always had a desire to live in the Pacific Northwest, but never dreamed it was part of His plan all along."
I love this part of the country.  The landscape is breathtaking.
I love the roaring ocean.
The huge green lakes and winding forceful rivers.
The rolling evergreen hills, the mossy trees that hang over the grey ribbons of highways.
The natural beauty is inspiring and it's a gift that we are here at all.

I do believe that this is a timed adventure and we'll be home before we know,
talking all about our Oregon Adventure someday.

But right now, I'm cultivating gratitude when I cannot see the way.

Momza Wisdom: Fragile Isn't the Same as Broken

Egg shells.
Heirloom dishes.
Mirrors.
Instruments.
Antique books.
Jewelry.
Museum fine arts.
Plant sprouts.
Flower petals.

What do all of these have in common?
They're all valuable, useful, important things that we come across in life,
sometimes more than we even realize.
They're also Fragile.
 We treat them differently than everyday sturdy things
that we handle, right?

Know what else is fragile?
People.
Men, women, children.
Every size, shape and color.
Relationships can be fragile too.
Health can be fragile: mental and physical.

My awareness of our fragility
became more sensitive recently
after learning about the experiences of some dear friends
who are going through some very big trials.
Some are going through a divorce,
another a serious illness,
a death in the family of another,
a loss of employment in yet another.
And on and on.

One thing I've heard a number of times recently
is the phrase: "I'm broken."
I've been there--
in that emotional state of feeling lost, forgotten, hopeless.
Is it not a Universal experience
for most of the human beings that have ever lived on this planet
and most of those that are here now?

Yes, I've been heart broken.
With time and lots of mending,
restored.
The failure of my first marriage,
the birth of my special needs son--
both times I felt completely damaged into fragments
of who I thought I was and what my life would be.
Understanding came through perspective,
healing followed with time.

There have been other times though,
through deep examination of my own challenges,
the discovery that I am not broken.
I struggle, maybe even weep, lose sleep, and fret,
but a more fitting word is "fragile".
Meaning "handle with care".

Doesn't that sound more accurate?
Handling with care means I slow down a little bit,
examine the pain more closely
looking for the tenderest areas and seek remedies for healing.
Having a mindful approach to my circumstances
creates an inner dialogue that sparks hope in the darkness.
Do what needs to be done,
but invite patience and forgiveness in that space--
maybe for someone else
maybe for my self.

I was talking to a friend who asked my opinion of his actions
in a certain business situation with his nephew,
who had stepped out of line and behaved unprofessionally,
resulting in a loss of business for the family company.
My friend took it as a betrayal and fired the nephew.
There were repercussions within the extended family over this.
I asked one question of my friend:
Was the action of the nephew unforgivable?
My friend thought for a moment and said, "No. Not unforgivable."
"Then, with patience and forgiveness, proceed towards healing.", I told him.

It wasn't even two weeks later
I needed to listen to the same advice myself
within my own family.
Feelings had been deeply hurt and if I let it fester,
the relationship could have become broken.
"But, were the words and actions unforgivable?"
the prompt came front and center to my mind.
Could I forgive and allow time for healing?
Yes, I can do that.
Feelings were raw, emotions tender, the relationship was fragile.
But not broken.

What helps healing come along quicker and completely?
For me it is faith.  Faith to ask Heavenly Father for help.
I believe in Jesus Christ's desire and ability to heal my wounds
because He has done that for me all of my life,
at every turn, you see.
I know there is healing and hope in His love for me.
Turning my pain over to Him and asking to see things clearly,
to be able to move forward and make weak things strong--
in my self, in my loves, in our relationships
is all possible because of His atoning sacrifice made long long ago
in the Garden of Gethsemane.

So, if we're able to look at our reality in the light of
"Fragile Not Broken"
we can see things more clearly, right?

Fragile isn't the same as broken.
Fragile requires extra attention, care, compassion, love, patience, and mercy.
Asking for what you need is important.
And while you are healing whatever it is--
know this:
Fragile things are still useful, valuable, important and worthy.