What an interesting experience. As I prepared for teaching this class for RS/YW last night I read the article by Brad Wilcox, then watched the fireside with Pres. Bednar...THEN I talked to my Nana...and found out alot about teens and their relationship with their phones.
About 2 hours before the class, I asked Nana to listen to my shpeel and critique me. Right away, she said, "Oh Mom, don't say that. If you say THAT, all of the teens will turn you off!" Wow. I hadn't expected that. So I continued with my shpeel. Again it came, "Oh Mom. You DO NOT GET IT." Hmmm okay. Seriously? SO I sat with Nana and we discussed HER feelings about her cell phone and what "texting" means to her. Let me admit right here and now, she was right. I had no idea.
My cellphone is a "luxury" to me. One that I am not dependent upon...it can be found in my car, in my purse, on my dresser, on the kitchen counter...most of the time it is charged, sometimes it not. I only make a point to take it with me when I know I will be gone all day or especially on a road trip. When it does ring, occassionally, it's my kids. "Where are you, Mom?" "Uh, I'm at Alberstons/Target/Walmart like I said I was....what's wrong?" And sometimes I say, "I'm on my way to Mexico...you guys take care of each other and do the dishes while I'm gone. See you in a few days." I like the conveniance, but honestly, since I didn't grow up with this luxury, and didn't even have a cell phone until I was 36 years old--I can take it or leave it. Growing up, we kids were pretty direct with each other...if I liked a boy, for example, I passed a note. I know, bold hunh? "I like you, do you like me, circle one, yes or no." The reaction was ofttimes immediate...a frown or a nod and a smile was all it took. Or I told my best friend to ask his best friend...yeah, remember that?? If I wanted to make plans--well, I had to make plans! Do all the ground work first, and then, call the person on the phone or [gasp!] speak to them in person when I saw them next!
It's not like that anymore. Cell phones are immediate gratification. If that little device rings, chimes, or buzzes, it cannot be ignored. Cannot. We have to know who is thinking of us in that moment. Have to. Do you turn yours off purposefully--ever? Or do you keep it within arms reach?
This is what I learned from talking to my teenager.
Nana's phone is an important communication tool. It is the key to her social life. It's part of her apparel. She wears it on her person. When I mentioned yesterday that I was thinking of taking texting off our plan, her very serious face looked like she might spontaneiously combust! "I'll do anything to keep it." Wow. We visited a bit after that, but I had to hurry and leave to go set up my "Store" at the Church.
The gals who were in charge of this activity did an awesome job. I took pics with my new camera, but haven't learned how to upload them yet. Maybe tonight when MrW comes home I can get them up. In the meantime, I will tell you the "stores" we had:
Journeys(Taking Joy in the Journey), Hallmark(He sent the Very best), Mrs. Fields(COOKIES!), Kay Jewelers(We're all Jewels with talents), a shoe store ("walk a mile in her shoes"), and Verizon (Are you getting the right message?).
Each "store" was decorated by the "managers" themselves. The rooms were awesome and so fun.
So this is how it went: all of the "patrons" met in the cultural hall/gym; then were given shopping bags (some were from Pottery barn, Brightons, Gap, Bath & body works, JCrew, etc.)
with numbers on them and a rotation schedule. The work that went into this was really out of my league. We opened with a prayer and a song and were sent on our shopping trip.
My job as a "manager" was to welcome each group of patrons and give a "sales pitch" for 10 minutes, then send them out to the door to the next "store" with a goodie, a handout of some type to remember the store by...kinda like GWP. That's it. Actually, it was pretty fun. The first audience was my guinea pig audience...I told them that by the time I had done this a few times, I'd probably be pretty good! We all had a good laugh.
What was interesting is that the topic of cell phones and texting is a hot topic in many families right now...there are strong emotions associated with "etiquette" and such. Following Br. Willcox's talk/counsel there are some boundaries that should be set with this awesome technology --just like everything else. The PC, video games, etc., there needs to be some limits.
The Brethren/Preisthood stand like Watchmen on the Towers to warn us of different things...the proper use of technology is the latest, it seems. SO while we acknowledge that cell phones and texting are wonderful blessings, we need to also acknowledge their drawbacks and learn to control this technology and use it, not abuse it, nor be abused by it.
Moms, have you heard of "sexting"..I hadn't until last night. It is exactly what you think it is...provactive sexual texting. Another front our youth have to meet head on to defend their standards. Somethings are said thru texting that would never be said to face-to-face. Somethings are provactive and somethings are cruel...because of the "safe distance" cell phones allow the users.
It all boiled down to this:
Be Where You Are...leave your cell at home on Sundays or at least turn it off. Did you know as parents, you can go onto Verizon or AT&T and set the times you want your kids' phones to be unavailable for calls and texting? True Story! Some of the moms told me their kids' phones are "unavailable" from 10pm to 7am and also for the 3 hour time block on Sundays. Think about that! Cool, hunh?
Be Who You Are. Be careful about the messages you send over the airwaves. Use this technology wisely. Don't let it distract from other hobbies/talents/family time, etc.
And sometimes, you have to "stop and daydream once in awhile" like Pres. Hinckley used to say. Have some downtime from all things "technological" so you can have some peace. You know, to hear that still small voice.
The classes went well, until the 4th time. Okay, I lost it in that class. I could not remember if I had said something already to them, and asked, "Did I just say that?"...which, if you know me, it's quite possible that I repeated myself. My girls were in the class and busted up laughing, and I followed. Seriously, I was laughing so hard, I thought I might wet my pants. {COMPOSURE WOMAN!}
Anyway, that was that. The main thing to come from this class is to communicate with your family about how much your family is going to let technology influence your lives. That's right Talk about It.
About 2 hours before the class, I asked Nana to listen to my shpeel and critique me. Right away, she said, "Oh Mom, don't say that. If you say THAT, all of the teens will turn you off!" Wow. I hadn't expected that. So I continued with my shpeel. Again it came, "Oh Mom. You DO NOT GET IT." Hmmm okay. Seriously? SO I sat with Nana and we discussed HER feelings about her cell phone and what "texting" means to her. Let me admit right here and now, she was right. I had no idea.
My cellphone is a "luxury" to me. One that I am not dependent upon...it can be found in my car, in my purse, on my dresser, on the kitchen counter...most of the time it is charged, sometimes it not. I only make a point to take it with me when I know I will be gone all day or especially on a road trip. When it does ring, occassionally, it's my kids. "Where are you, Mom?" "Uh, I'm at Alberstons/Target/Walmart like I said I was....what's wrong?" And sometimes I say, "I'm on my way to Mexico...you guys take care of each other and do the dishes while I'm gone. See you in a few days." I like the conveniance, but honestly, since I didn't grow up with this luxury, and didn't even have a cell phone until I was 36 years old--I can take it or leave it. Growing up, we kids were pretty direct with each other...if I liked a boy, for example, I passed a note. I know, bold hunh? "I like you, do you like me, circle one, yes or no." The reaction was ofttimes immediate...a frown or a nod and a smile was all it took. Or I told my best friend to ask his best friend...yeah, remember that?? If I wanted to make plans--well, I had to make plans! Do all the ground work first, and then, call the person on the phone or [gasp!] speak to them in person when I saw them next!
It's not like that anymore. Cell phones are immediate gratification. If that little device rings, chimes, or buzzes, it cannot be ignored. Cannot. We have to know who is thinking of us in that moment. Have to. Do you turn yours off purposefully--ever? Or do you keep it within arms reach?
This is what I learned from talking to my teenager.
Nana's phone is an important communication tool. It is the key to her social life. It's part of her apparel. She wears it on her person. When I mentioned yesterday that I was thinking of taking texting off our plan, her very serious face looked like she might spontaneiously combust! "I'll do anything to keep it." Wow. We visited a bit after that, but I had to hurry and leave to go set up my "Store" at the Church.
The gals who were in charge of this activity did an awesome job. I took pics with my new camera, but haven't learned how to upload them yet. Maybe tonight when MrW comes home I can get them up. In the meantime, I will tell you the "stores" we had:
Journeys(Taking Joy in the Journey), Hallmark(He sent the Very best), Mrs. Fields(COOKIES!), Kay Jewelers(We're all Jewels with talents), a shoe store ("walk a mile in her shoes"), and Verizon (Are you getting the right message?).
Each "store" was decorated by the "managers" themselves. The rooms were awesome and so fun.
So this is how it went: all of the "patrons" met in the cultural hall/gym; then were given shopping bags (some were from Pottery barn, Brightons, Gap, Bath & body works, JCrew, etc.)
with numbers on them and a rotation schedule. The work that went into this was really out of my league. We opened with a prayer and a song and were sent on our shopping trip.
My job as a "manager" was to welcome each group of patrons and give a "sales pitch" for 10 minutes, then send them out to the door to the next "store" with a goodie, a handout of some type to remember the store by...kinda like GWP. That's it. Actually, it was pretty fun. The first audience was my guinea pig audience...I told them that by the time I had done this a few times, I'd probably be pretty good! We all had a good laugh.
What was interesting is that the topic of cell phones and texting is a hot topic in many families right now...there are strong emotions associated with "etiquette" and such. Following Br. Willcox's talk/counsel there are some boundaries that should be set with this awesome technology --just like everything else. The PC, video games, etc., there needs to be some limits.
The Brethren/Preisthood stand like Watchmen on the Towers to warn us of different things...the proper use of technology is the latest, it seems. SO while we acknowledge that cell phones and texting are wonderful blessings, we need to also acknowledge their drawbacks and learn to control this technology and use it, not abuse it, nor be abused by it.
Moms, have you heard of "sexting"..I hadn't until last night. It is exactly what you think it is...provactive sexual texting. Another front our youth have to meet head on to defend their standards. Somethings are said thru texting that would never be said to face-to-face. Somethings are provactive and somethings are cruel...because of the "safe distance" cell phones allow the users.
It all boiled down to this:
Be Where You Are...leave your cell at home on Sundays or at least turn it off. Did you know as parents, you can go onto Verizon or AT&T and set the times you want your kids' phones to be unavailable for calls and texting? True Story! Some of the moms told me their kids' phones are "unavailable" from 10pm to 7am and also for the 3 hour time block on Sundays. Think about that! Cool, hunh?
Be Who You Are. Be careful about the messages you send over the airwaves. Use this technology wisely. Don't let it distract from other hobbies/talents/family time, etc.
And sometimes, you have to "stop and daydream once in awhile" like Pres. Hinckley used to say. Have some downtime from all things "technological" so you can have some peace. You know, to hear that still small voice.
The classes went well, until the 4th time. Okay, I lost it in that class. I could not remember if I had said something already to them, and asked, "Did I just say that?"...which, if you know me, it's quite possible that I repeated myself. My girls were in the class and busted up laughing, and I followed. Seriously, I was laughing so hard, I thought I might wet my pants. {COMPOSURE WOMAN!}
Anyway, that was that. The main thing to come from this class is to communicate with your family about how much your family is going to let technology influence your lives. That's right Talk about It.
This sounds like a GREAT idea for an activity, and I'm going to send it to our Stake YW president. (Our kids do activities as a stake due to waning numbers of youth.)
ReplyDeleteAs for texting, I text more than I talk on the phone. I find it perfect for giving my kids important info/messages when I don't have time for a long conversation. Or when I want to give them some gem of unasked-for wisdom without annoying them unduly.
=)
I tease my Laurels daily about texting to each other while they are sitting right next to each other. often times since I have their cell phone numbers I will text them to remind them, to put their cell phones away during mutual. our bishop texts the youth constantly if he doesn't see them on Sunday at sacrament meeting, if he sees they are down and want to make them smile or anything. It is a texting world. Sad, but true
ReplyDelete