Mind Your Manners! Mothering 101

I'm a Southern Girl. I was raised to say, "Yessir, Nosir, Thankyousir, Please." to anyone who was older than me. And if I'm on the phone and don't know, I still address them as "Ma'am" or "Sir". It's a habit long engrained in my DNA--from my parents, my Granparents, my school teachers, coaches, neighbors, store clerks and anyone else I came in contact with--it is a sign of respect--for myself and the other person. I have even been known to say those things to my own children--to model those words for them.

I was taught to wait my turn. I know! Does anyone remember those days when you actually had to wait your turn?

I've taught my kids my Southern roots and habits too, in an increasingly socially lax world where manners are not seen as a refinement but rather a weakness. When my oldest son was in 5th grade, we moved from South Carolina to Phoenix. His teacher called me to tell me that my son was being disrespectful to her--I couldn't believe it! What did he say that ruffled her ignorant feathers?? He called her "Ma'am." She said, "I am not a "ma'am"! He was being smart aleck." I replied, "No, Miss So-n-So, he was showing you respect." She had no clue!!

I have often said to my offspring, "Good manners can open doors that Education cannot."

It's true. I don't care how smart a person is, if they display a lack of propreity and graciousness, I won't deal with them. Think about that...how many times has "poor service" really been about a poor attitude??

Things have gotten dismally worse over the years. I see examples within my kids peer groups--at parties, on fieldtrips, on the playground. Some kids act as though they've been raised by wolves, no kidding. They have a dog-eat-dog-every-man-for-himself attitude...they push, shove, encroach and act otherwise selfish and ignorant of any and all good behavior. Working at an Elementary school, I have seen firsthand the degradation of morals at the youngest age.

Why am I bringing this up? Over the weekend, Boofus was invited to a Bday Party at a Tumbling Gym. I stood and watched as his peers were outright rude to one another--with the attitude of "sucks to be you" pointedly directed at kids who were not as brusk as themselves.

Boofus is the tallest in his grade, but even he was getting pushed around by little terrors. He later lamented, "What's wrong with these kids? They are so rude!" as we drove home.

So this is my plea:

Teach your children good manners at home. Demand them. That's your Job, Momma. It comes with the territory. Home is the Lab for Life. Practicing good manners, graciousness, kindness--it all starts at home. Now you may not ascribe to the "yes ma'am, no ma'am" thing...but there's alot more to manners than that. Waiting their turn to speak, to be served, to get in the car or whatever...just takes a little effort and pays off in the long run. My oldest kids are now adults...and they have proven that little saying about good manners/education. Especially as they were serving as full-time missionaries.

Teach your kids to serve one another. It takes a Family to take care of a Family. Don't do so much for your kids that they don't develop their own strength! You will find it more difficult and exhausting the older they get to meet all of their needs. They need to know how strong they really are...we find our value in realizing we can do hard things all on our own.

My goal as a Mother is to equip my kids with enough knowledge to know how to help themselves create the life they want and learn to live happily. Spoiled children are not happy, nor do they grow into happy adults.

Love them. Serve them. But teach them how to love to serve too.

That's the goal right there.