Summer Warmth and Heavenly Gifts

It's summer here in the Springs. Everybody is outside. The neighborhood hibernation is over and the streets are full of bicycles, runners, and walkers. Neighbors we've never seen before emerge to soak up the wonderful Colorado summer weather. Lawns are being meticulously cared for, new flowers are planted, new grass being laid...everything is alive.

We are no different. We spent our Saturday in the yard...mowing, trimming, planting.

It felt like this last winter was here to stay. With the kids being so sick January thru April, winter days sometimes blended into each other. Only the weekends separated the weeks... Saturday breakfasts with the missionaries and Sunday meetings reminded us that time had not come to a halt even when there were weeks upon weeks that I did nothing else but take care of sick kids. How grateful I am that our missionaries came for breakfast...if just for that hour a week, it lightened our hearts and moods. The Spirit that follows our missionaries is truly wonderful--so much so, I tell them it's addicting. We love having them in our home.

Because of the long sick winter, I did not get to work with my Midwife and Mentor, Dotti for more than just a couple of days total. I definitely did not attend any births. That was hard for me, but honestly, I was worn out in the care of my own children, and knew that I would be useless at a birth. There had been so many opportunities to serve as a Doula in 2008, that not doing anything had become depressing. I was just thinking last week, on Monday actually, what if I never get the opportunity again to assist in a birth?

Let me back up...in 2007, I rec'd a priesthood blessing wherein I was told that I "would work, and the work you will do will affect families for generations to come." It was shortly after that I was given the opportunity to host a Doula workshop in my home, and on the first day, the instructor repeated verbatim the exact words my Bishop had said in the blessing..."the work you will do as a Doula, will affect families for generations to come." Because I had written my blessing down in my journal on the day I received it, I happily showed that entry to the Doula instructor the next day when we had some time alone before the rest of the participants showed up at my house. We both hugged and cried and became instant friends.

I knew that this was my calling and have relished in it. I LOVE the gift I have been given--to be a comfort and partner in childbirth. It is so so so ME. (Speaking about our "heavenly gifts"...we have each been given something special that speaks to our hearts that we can only truly enjoy when we are using that gift to benefit others...there is so much wisdom in that, isn't there?!)

But with my first obligation and love to my family, I wondered out loud this past week if that blessing was just for that time and no longer applicable to me? Am I supposed to be doing something else, I wondered? If so, what?

Then, an email came. It was from Dotti. She asked if I would still like to work at her clinic with her on Wednesdays doing prenatals and be her birth assistant? ACK!!!! Are you kidding me?? I jumped up and down in my chair, let out a shriek that scared the dog, and made the kids come runnin' to see their momza sittin' at the puter with tears in her eyes!

"YES! oh YES!", I replied! Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!

I wondered if she knew that God was using her to tell me He loves me in that hour? That she is an answer to my prayers? Her timing was perfect!

I had thought that because I had to bow out of so many things over the winter, she must have filled my spot by now, and to find out she had not but was waiting for me--well, it just filled my heart with utter. complete. gratitude.

Feeling my prayers answered so directly amazes me.

Am I even close to conveying how excited I am? I LOVE being in the room when a new spirit comes to the earth...the room is filled to overflowing with love in it's purest form.

All these words, and yet they are nothing compared to the feelings in my heart. The miracle of life is just as it is stated: A MIRACLE. As an invited guest in what I consider a sacred event, I try to make my presence there worth it to the hosts...the mother and her companion, and their family/friends who are also in attendance. A doula is there to care for the emotional and physical needs of the mother by supporting her companion and coaching that companion along to make "mother" feel safe and loved and empowered. I think I am really good at that because I love it so much. Evidently, my Heavenly Father thinks I am too. The cool wintery clouds have lifted in my heart just as the sun begins to warm the earth. It's going to be a beautiful summer. Beautiful!