An Open Letter to My Firstborn

"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie left for five people,
promptly announces she never did care for pie.
~Tenneva Jordan

"A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's."
~Princess Diana


" All I am, or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. ”
~Abraham Lincoln

"Love is doing small things with great love."
~Mother Theresa

I learned alot from you, my firstborn
I learned to listen to my body
as you took possession of my
tastebuds
digestive system
as well as
my heart
and mind.

I learned to love
my round belly
and
rounder clothes.

Curiosity filled me
with wonderful delight
at the changes~
and daydreams
became common.

What would you look like?
Could I love anyone more
than I loved this little one
thriving
growing
in my tummy
and heart?

I learned to sew
baby shirts
baby socks
blue blankets
and maternity tops.

All before your arrival.

The lessons continued
on your Big Day...
breathing in and out
huffing
and
ta-ta-ta-ing
ha-ha-ha-ing
hee-hee-heeing
until those endless waves
released you into
my arms.

I was invincible!
the euphoria was
fantastic...
I could've lept out of the hospital
bed and run a marathon!

You made me a Mother.

I found myself
because of You.

I learned to sleep when baby sleeps
and that it's okay to cry
when baby cries.
sometimes.

I learned to use a camera
like a pro
catching every half-smile
and wide-eyed moment
on film.

I learned that squash
is hard to get out of
silk.
And that silk
is not practical for
Mommies.

I learned to get showered
and dressed
in 15 minutes
flat.
And makeup is over-rated
on somedays.

I learned the stretchmarks
don't go away.
But that's okay.
And nothing to cry over
more than once.
And cocoa butter is a joke.

I learned how to get out the door
right after a nap and feeding
or to just stay home
and be happy.

I learned to be patient:
For teething fevers
and drool.
Eating out is not worth
what it costs
in the beginning
but when you're a toddler
any place is good
if they serve
Macaroni and Cheese!

I learned to love
McDonald's Playland
and Happy Meals!

I learned that a balanced meal
can be chicken nuggets
and milk
with apple slices.
And it's totally worth $2.99.

I learned that as you grew
you had choices to make too.
And once I voiced my opinion
I had to give you space
to make those choices.
And I learned that that
is Hard.

I learned to listen
to what you could teach me.
And it was more than I
could've ever learned on my own.

I came to love
"where the red fern grows"
because you love it.

I cried when you cried
at "Old Yeller".

I laughed when you laughed
at Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
He-Man
Weird Al Yankovic
Jeff Foxworthy.

I hurt when you hurt
when you broke your arm.
I physically hurt for you
When you fell and busted your lip
at school
and then I fainted at the Doctor's office.

I held my breath
when you started dating.
I learned to smile
instead of cringing
at the parade of characters
you led thru my kitchen.

I couldn't contain my excitement
at your mission call
and
cried when you left for
two years...
so grateful for your choices then.

My Mondays were a mixture
of fear and relief
Until I got that weekly email
I was inconsolable.
It didn't matter what
you wrote--
the fact that you got to
a computer
and could write a letter
was all I needed.
Your joy was my joy.

We went through alot to get there, hunh?
We both had so much to learn before then.
Tears and patience
can equal
forgiveness and happiness
all around.

Thank you for loving me
despite my flaws
and flubs
and selfish days of youth.

Thank you for being patient
while I grew up
and learned how to be
the mother I always
wanted to be.

I love being your mother
my sweet boy.
Happy Birthday.