Friday, November 6, 2009

Choices Choices

Personal dilema or is it dilemna? dilemma? Spellcheck says its dilemma.
Whew. I learned something in that moment. Score one point for moi.

Okay, I have been wanting to go to school aka College forever.
I've never gotten my chance.
I put a husband thru college
eight long stinking years!
and then started having a flock of kids.

In 2006, I studied home staging
and started my lil biz with that
and loved it!
In 2007, I got my Doula training
--a dream come true!
But I wanna go to college this next January...
and take some classes in subjects I've always wanted
to learn more of...
Art History
Literature
Interior Design
Psychology
and maybe even
a Home Ec class.
I want to go to a room,
with my College-lined notebooks and #2 pencils,
and sit and learn something I don't know.
Which is alot of stuff!
I may even want to take a Art class--
I've always wanted to learn how to watercolor paint
and sculpt clay into more than a pinchpot.
If there's a smidge of room left in my noggin
for something good
I wanna learn it!

My biggest concern is that
my brain has shrunk
to the size of a walnut.
AND yikes!--,what if I flunk out?
What if the teacher hates me
and I have no friends?
What if the big words are over my head
and I'm the stupidest kid in class?
What then, Mom, what then?

Back when I was a kid (in the disco-era of bell bottoms, Saturday Night Fever, Black Trans Ams and pet rocks),
we didn't even have the internet--
which meant when you had a book report to do
you had to go to the School's Library or
sneak a copy of Cliff's Notes;
personal calculators were for kids in Calculus or Trig (I never had one, so that's your first clue about my mathabilities),
and when you had to type up anything, you had to use a REAL typewriter & Onion Paper so you could erase the really bad typos--the others you hoped the teacher wouldn't count).
Yeah, it's been a few decades.

Actually, my biggest fear
is that I will love it so much
I won't wanna come home
and make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
any more,
and my kids will become orphans
and have to fend for themselves
like some Third World Country kids--
living on the streets and panhandling
for their dinner...

Meh.
I'm willing to take that chance.

6 comments:

  1. I went back to get my master's when my youngest got to first grade. It was heaven being in school as just me, alone, in my own right. And you are going to love it.

    =)

    PS. I remember my memorization skills were a bit rusty, but they kicked back in. Of course, I was 39 at the time. I'm not so sure that would happen now. (But I would find a way to compensate, right?)

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  2. I'm waving back at you!!! How exciting to go back to school. Don't worry you'll definatly have lots of friends.

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  3. Hahaha Dawn can I just tell you right now if you were in one of my classes I would laugh the whole time...the teacher would just walk out and quit and then I wouldnt pass spanish..OH wait this is a true life story. Whoppps

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  4. Go my dear friend, spread your wings and soar in the atmosphere of higher learning. I did it when my youngest was in Kindergarten and I L.O.V.E.D it to pieces. Be prepared to be the unconventional student that no one wants in their class because we bring up the GPA, it wreaks havoc on the grading curve. I loved going to school and learning new 'stuff'. You go for it girl!
    Roxanne

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  5. I missed this one earlier but had to comment now . . . don't be afraid to go back to school. I did it a few years ago and LOVED it as well. I was such a better student than the first time I was in college and I often had teachers tell me how nice it was to read a paper from someone with a little "maturity". You will be awesome!!!!

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  6. The little bit of school I did was so fun. And then I got to be the RS pres and decided I couldn't do both. It was SCARY, yes. Trying to figure out where the classes were, but the teacher was awesome and the kids in the class were really fun too. I was like the old mom of the group. Go for it! (and yes, the brain is a little rusty but I found it very invigorating to learn new stuff!)

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