Equal Opportunity Chow Hound

SO I HAD to get a dog!
Remember that?
HAD TO.

And we got this
little black ball of fuzzy
curiousness.

But now, she's a full-blown
curious teenage eating machine.
So far, she has learned two commands:
Sit.
which she does for 1.2 milliseconds.
Drop It.
which she only does for Me and Mr. W.

We buy good food for this eating machine.
Avo-derm from PetSmart...
because ya know,
we want a healthy dog.

But this is the deal.
The dog is a living, breathing, devouring
garbage disposal.
She eats anything.
Everything.
Like what? you ask.
Well how about this:
I've personally donated two pair of shoes:
leather ones. thankyouverymuch.
She has eaten countless flipflops...
but she only eats one
of each color...
pink, brown, navy blue, white, orange and yellow.
Socks--her favorites are
brand new ones.

What else?
Tinkertoys, legos,
Barbies,
rubber balls, jump ropes,
teddy bears and baby dolls.
She isn't discriminating
she's an equal-opportunity-chow-hound.

She jumps up to the
countertops
and tabletops--
where she has enjoyed
birthday cake
steak
peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
pepperoni pizza
chocolate cake
vanilla yogurt
pancakes
scrambled eggs
and toast with grape jelly.

She has chewed thru
two leashes
and broken two collars.
Tried her choppers out on the wood deck
and a folding chair.

She has eaten every single
made-for-large-dogs Toy
we have shelled out cash for
and left no trace of it.

She has eaten modelling clay(!)
and candy wrappers
cheese wrappers
and fought like crazy for a dryer sheet.

Now I know what you're thinking...
you're thinking:
Pick up the floor,
shut the doors,
and watch this tasmanian devil dog
like a hawk!

And we do.
At least we try.
And this dog is driving me crazy.

I shoulda named her Dirt Devil.