Fihr-teen Dorras Fihr-teen Minnas, yes?

I spent the day up North

with Dani,

the mother of my

soon-to-be

Golden grandchild

who has yet to make his

appearance.

He's late.

Like his Momma,

and his Daddy

who are always

always always

late.

I took Dani to Colorado Mills Outlets

where we walked her

around like a show pony

to see if we could get

her into labor.

We stopped at a

 place

where she got a foot massage

from Chinese guys wearing

little white chinese "scrubs"

with red piping on the sleeves

and neckline

and who,

apparently just got off

the boat from China

3 days ago

as they spoke almost as much

English

as I speak Chinese.

They took a look at Dani's

very large pregnant belly

and with eyes wide as pancakes

said:

"You-ah wont mah-sege?"

HUNH?

Then they used Chinese sign language

 which could easily be

Universal

as they pointed to Dani's belly

and practically reached out

and dragged her inside.

"Fihr-teen dorras, fihr-teen minnas, yes?"

I thought, why not?

She's overdue,

reflexology can help,

sure, go ahead,

I say.

Forty minutes

and

forty dollars

later

I am thinking

I  need to learn

Chinese.

Sirry Umelikens.