Handling Teenage Mercenaries v. 5.0

Daisie is still breathing today.
She just might make it to her fifteenth birthday
tomorrow.
That'll make 5 fifteen-year-olds
that I have lived to tell about.
We haven't lost one yet.
yet.
There are no guarantees.

After Tuesday night's
lovely
enchanting
scene--
the one where she
rolled her eyes

stomped her feet

slammed her door

--she was in rare form, I tell you.

Things have calmed down considerably.

We stayed up until 11 o'clock that night--
Talking it out: 
Reflective listening is what professionals call it. 
Works, it does!

Reaffirming our positions: Keep your goal in mind.
Don't get off on tangents.
Stick to the point.
Stay calm, using positive language.
 Look, the kids pretty much know what our expectations are--
they're just looking for chinks in our armor,
like mercenaries.
lol
it's kinda true hunh?

Calling in reinforcements:

I use my oldest kids for stuff like this--it's great.
My oldest two were not perfect kids,
but they have served FT missions
and were married in the Temple.
And their perspective is a valuable resource I use.
So part of my deal with Daisie to get her "grounding" lifted
was that she had to speak to her oldest brother and sisters.

Her shoulders slump, head drops when I tell her this...
she knows she's about to be put in her place.
 
I know when she speaks to David Scott,
he is going to lift her mood from
sullen- pouty-whiny-faced to a more
civilized one where she can start to see things more clearly. 
He is so easy-going, easy to talk to,
that I know I can count on him for that. 
He'll make her laugh.
And he can say things like,
"You're being a dork. Stop it."  where I can't really say that, ya know?

Diana speaks bluntly.
She's alot like David Scott.
She is one who sticks to the facts
balances it with compassion
and wants a resolution yesterday. 
 She respects her older siblings very much
 and is used to going to them too for guidance,
and takes their advice to heart. 
So I know she isn't going to contradict whatever they say.

Dani...well everyone's afraid of her. lol 
It's funny, but kinda true. 
Mr W says she lives the Gospel "viciously".
 She won't look to the left or the right.
It's all black and white with her. 
Her motto could be "Do it Once. Do it Right." 

Does this sound like torturous punishment
when I call in the Reinforcements? 
Meh. Maybe. 
But teenagers are tough.
And you gotta use whatever resources you have...

like when the yahoos wake up cranky on
Sunday morning and whine about going to Church,
I say, "Call the Bishop. 
If he says you don't have to go,
 you can stay home.
Here's the phone."
Or
If the yahoos are whining about going to school
or dragging their feet about getting ready for school,
I say,
"Let's call your teacher
and tell them how you're feeling. 
If they say you can stay home/ be late,
then fine with me. 
Here's the phone."

SO, I use what I gots.

By the end of the night,
she had spoken to her brother
and Nana.
She has yet to speak to Dani...
lol
she's afraid to! lol
Cracks me up!
We did not put her door back on--
she has to earn that in 5 other ways
that we discussed:
*get up on time for seminary (it's at the end of our street, literally--she can walk there in 5 minutes or less, but she is habitually ten minutes late nearly every day!)

*Stay on top of grades.

*Do her part BETTER around the house. Instead of doing exactly and ONLY what she's been asked, she needs to step up and look for opportunities/needs and act on them.

*Attend All of her Church meetings (she's been picking and choosing Mutual activities--which her oldest sibs NEVER had the choice in that, they'll tell you.)

*Handle herself more maturely. No more huffing and puffing when she doesn't get her way.

Do I think she will miraculously accomplish all of this? 
Well not in one week.
But over the next couple of weeks, sure.
She used to be better about this stuff,
she just lost her mind when she became a teenager.

At the end of the night,
I asked her,
"is this how you want your teenage years to go? being grounded every ten minutes,
fussin and fightin with everyone? Cuz it's just not fun, is it?"
She smiled. "I hope not. This sucks. And I am sorry. I told you I wouldn't act like Diana and I am!"
Diana's sitting there, smiles and says, "And I said I wouldn't act like David and Dani and I did!"

We all laugh. Because it's true.
We head upstairs. Daisie's complaining about not having a door b/c she's afraid of the dark.
Mr W offered, "and how many children have we lost to monsters in the closets since we moved here?"

Once Mr W and get in our room,
he starts snickering
as he pulls a walkie-talkie outta his pocket
and speaks evilly into it:
"DARA....I'M WATCHING YOU....DARA....I'M GOING TO GET YOU!!!!"
(he'd left a walkie-talkie in her room without anyone noticing)

From the basement we hear
"WHAT THE HECK?!!!!"
Then laughter floats up the two flights of stairs,
followed by
"YOU GUYS SUCK!"

Yeah.  We do. 
I feel real bad about that.
really I do.