MOMZA'S HOUSE: Glamour Shots Gone WILD

Friday, April 16, 2010

Glamour Shots Gone WILD

Hey! Looking for an opportunity to kick off the Weekend just right??

Look no further than Glamour Shots Gone WILD!
Go find that old picture
and you know the one--
and link it up with the rest of us
Glamour-puss wanna-be's!

See, this is why you come to my lil blog...
start the weekend right
with a good laugh at yourself
or just laugh at my big fat hair!

That, right there...
is one stylin' Momza.
Yowza.
I used to blow-dry my hair
upside down
and spray it until it could
stand on its own.
It was SO BIG
I had to buy two tickets to the movies.
I had to use two pillows at night.
I lost my car keys in it once.
And a small child.
It had its own zip code.
H.A.W.T.

23 comments:

tammyApril 16, 2010 at 9:12 AM
You are way HAWT!!!! How much AquaNet did you use?

Very sexy...somehow I'm glad to know my photos are all packed away in storage.
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HizzeatherApril 16, 2010 at 10:09 AM
Sweet hair! I still blow dry my hair upside down, but now I'll have to use a can of hairspray on it to get that look! :)
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Kristina P.April 16, 2010 at 10:23 AM
You look sexy! I am loving the bangs. You must be looking at The Hoff, with a smile like that.
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NonnaApril 16, 2010 at 10:49 AM
Yowza... you were pretty then ( minus the hairdo ) but prettier now !

I think I buried all my awful bad hair photos. The worst was my H.S. senior photo. I had long hair until a couple of months before it was taken and then everyone was cutting their hair and wearing huge earrings all of the sudden ( before that we all had either beehives or CHER hair... I used to steam iron mine on the ironing board to get it "CHER straight" ) Biggest mistake I ever made with my hair and I wince every time I see that senior photo !

BTW,
This kind of post IS one of the reasons I read your blog...have a happy weekend !!!
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Susan AndersonApril 16, 2010 at 11:16 AM
"Those were the days, my friend..." ::::singing::::

Cher remembers, too.

=)
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Welcome to the Garden of EganApril 16, 2010 at 1:13 PM
Yes you are HAWT!!!! (insert tiger growl here)
I am having so much fun looking at these glamour shots. I did one once........
I looked like a hooker.
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UnknownApril 16, 2010 at 2:17 PM
I think I had that blouse!! Mine was trimmed in "burgundy", but I totally had that blouse. And don't we STILL blowdry our hair upside down?

Hello? Don't we? DON'T WE???
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JonesApril 16, 2010 at 2:25 PM
That hair...is amazing! :) Great picture!
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loriApril 16, 2010 at 2:37 PM
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I have to commend you on the bang action. looks like a lot of work :) and ohmy you do have a lot of kids!!!
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MomzaApril 16, 2010 at 3:54 PM
@Lori: Thank goodness for hairproducts! And yes, yes I do have a load of kids--right now there's a special deal I can offer: Buy 1 Get 1 free...make me an offer.
@Jones: My hair had it's own zipcode, pretty sure.
@DeNae: Do you miss shoulder pads like I miss shoulder pads?? Hmmmm. As for drying upside down...sometimes. On Tuesdays.
@Garden: I beg of you to please post that picture!!!!
@Sue: Cmon lets see your glamour shots!
@Nonna: I'd pay to see your Cher hair!
@Kristina: The Hoff and I were likethat.
@Hizzeather: Lots and Lots of Hairspray!
@Tammy: Chicken!!!!! Bawk Bawk!! DO IT!
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DevriApril 16, 2010 at 4:19 PM
Love it! I am still kickin' my mom in da buttocks for not hookin' me up!

btw- beautiful family you got there!
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CharlotteApril 16, 2010 at 4:22 PM
Nice. I'm feeling glad I never had a glamour shot taken!
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AmyApril 16, 2010 at 6:59 PM
Speaking of glamour shots -- when do we get to see more pics of the Little Prince?
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AnonymousApril 16, 2010 at 7:05 PM
Wow! That makes me think "How 'bout it, Sailor?" Mine's #18 on the carnival. Between our hair, I think that's where all the missing children went.
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MomzaApril 16, 2010 at 7:31 PM
@Alisha: Your pic makes me have hair-envy. Boy, you really rocked that hair!
@Amy: HA! I have soooo many of the Golden Child, I'll put some up!
@Charlotte: Awww Cmon, really? I bet you have a pic somewhere that could pass for a Gloamour Shot.
Devri: I bet you have one too...just poke thru your old phot albums! And thank you for the compliment on my family's beauty...do not be deceived--those people have left me fat, crazy and broke. just sayin. lol
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PrairiemaidApril 17, 2010 at 12:02 AM
Look at you, girl! With that big hair, you must have been in Texas. LOL

Believe it or not, never had the Glamour Shot thing done.

You were a very pretty young lady (and you still are!)...don't ya wish you still had the energy you had back then and the wisdom you have today? What a combination.

Love the picture.

You guys have a great weekend!
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SaraApril 18, 2010 at 12:15 AM
Wow! That is Dani dressed up for an 80s party. The resemblence is amazing...and you looked lovely.
Power to the blowdrier!
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Laura MarchantApril 18, 2010 at 8:30 AM
Whatever happened to Aquanet?
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Me (aka Danielle)April 18, 2010 at 9:03 AM
Love the look! That look..the big hair, the big collars..that was all the rage! You were hip and happenin'!

P.S. Thanks for stopping by my blog!
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MomzaApril 18, 2010 at 1:25 PM
@Danielle: Thanks for appreciating my Glamour Shot...do you miss shoulder pads like I do? haha
@Midwest: I bet it's still alive and well in the South. I actually used Loreal's Max Hold back then.
@Sara: Isn't that funny? I'll have to tell her to read your comment. We love our blowdryers!
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MomzaApril 18, 2010 at 9:43 PM
@Prairiemaid: I do wish I knew then what I know now!
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LesleyApril 18, 2010 at 10:42 PM
I never did do the Glamour Shots thing, but always wanted to. I never really had big hair either...big eyeglasses though---oh yeah! I have lots of embarrassing glasses photos. Yuck!
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SaimiApril 19, 2010 at 12:53 AM
Beautiful family photo, and I must say you look so much younger now than in your 'glamour' picture!

Isn't this fun! HA
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SAY WHAT?? Board

Ari showed me her math assignment: "Have you seen this before?"

Me: "Um, yeah. Not since I was in school though."

Ari: "OK. So it's a legitimate thing. I just wanted to make sure my teachers weren't lying to me."

Bee: "I thought it was 'Tequila Mockingbird', not "To Kill a Mockingbird."

From the wedding:

Jud's oldest brother: Tell Mom not to come up to see you while on your honeymoon.

Jud: What? She came to see you?

Brother, laughing: Yeah.

Jud to his Mom: "I don't care if I've been mauled by a bear; do NOT come see me."

***

Dani to Isaac: "Tell Gramma 'bye' n; you love her, Isaac."

Isaac: "Bye! Butt-face Gramma!"

****

Boofus to Momza: "I have black hair in my armpits! Just on this one arm though. I WISH I could move some on the other arm!"

Momza: You're ridiculous. {laughing}

Boofus: "I also have hair growing on my chest. Twelve hairs! I counted!"

***

Arianna: "Mom, can I borrow one of your sweaters?"

Momza: "One of my sweaters? Why?"

Arianna: "It's Ugly Sweater Day at school."

Momza to Joseph, as he's getting ready for school:

"Hey, didn't you wear that shirt yesterday?--It's dirty, go put on a clean one."

Joseph: "It's not dirty. SMELL me!"

Momza: "I am not smelling you. It is too dirty--go put on a clean shirt. You're not wearing that to school."

Joseph, chuckling: "Aww...you're ruining my life."

Momza to 10 yr old Primary boy who wouldn't stop leaning back in his chair:

"I think you should know that I get queasy at the sight of blood. If you lean back in your chair and get hurt, after I've told you not to, I'll probably vomit--and if I do, it'll probably get on you."

Ari, after overhearing what I said, whispered, "Mom, you're a doula, you see blood all the time. It doesn't make you sick."

Momza: He doesn't know that.

****

Two little neighborhood boys knocked on the door:

"Is the Master here?"

Daisie: "What? Who?"

Boofus, from upstairs: "I can't play until my room is clean!"

Momza, to Boofus: "They call you 'Master'?"

Boofus: "Yeah, they do everything I say. I'm their Master."

***

Daisie, from the backseat of the car, while Diana is changing up the radio station:

"No country please. You're destroying my brain."

Diana: "You're welcome."

******

Valentines Day Dinner. Boofus to Dad, while eating the chocolate fish I gave him:

"This was the worst Valentine's ever. Mom KISSED me in front of Nathan!" (N. is his best friend who happened to be standing there when I gave B. his chocolate gift.)

Momza at the dinner table: "So, at work today, I was talking to Juan..."

Boofus, interrupts: "Who?"

Momza: "Juan. Juan--he's a young man I work with."

Boofus: "Who? I mean, WHO were you talking to?"

Caboose, chiming in: "The Chinese-Mexican, Wong!"

The Caboose to Momza: "If you won't get me a cellphone, then you can just send me to a foster home."

Momza:"Hold on while I GOOGLE foster homes in Colorado. N' while I do that, you should go ask Daddy if it's ok to send you away."

The Caboose returns: "Daddy said 'No'."

The Caboose to Mom: I can’t wait until I’m 11. “Cuz eleven is next to twelve and twelve is next to thirteen, and thirteen has the word “teen” in it n’ I can’t wait to be a teenager!

Boofus, pinching his fingers together, showing them to me:

"I just pulled a hair out of my NOSE! I AM A MAN!"

Momza: "Pick up your room, then brush your teeth, and don't forget to pack your lunch."

The Caboose: "You sound just like my mother!"

The Caboose: How do you spell "diary"?

Boofus: "D-A-I-R-Y."

Dad: That's dairy. You need to switch the "a" and the "i".

Caboose: I'm writing in pen here, people.

Dani to Boofus:

"You need to wash your hands before you touch the baby."

Boofus: "I did. I licked them twice."

Diana, who has just spent 45 minutes with Daisie, who'd been chewed out by Momza earlier:

"OH. MY. GOSH. MOM! How do you stand it? She drives me crazy! She acts like she's the only one whose ever been almost 15 years old! She made me so angry! All of her freaking whining! How do you stand it?! --Wait?--Is that what I sound like to you? Ohhhh Mommmm, (laying her head on my shoulder), I AM SO SORRY!!!"

Dad to Boofus, who asked him to do something he didn't want to do:

"What? Do you have a piano tied to your butt?"

Boofus: "Yes, it's small but very heavy."

Boofus, who was pestering the Caboose:

"You're nuthin' but a penny-loafin' Democrat."

Dara to Bee, after she threatened to tell on her for something:

"You think I care if you tell Dad on me? I get in trouble on a daily basis."

Joseph to Momza:

"What do you mean when you say 'think about the words you say'? I never think about what I'm saying."

Walking thru Walmart, the Caboose says:

"Mom, what's Pole dancing?"

"Ask your Dad."

Ari to Momza after seeing a personalized ornament with Joseph's name on it:

"Why does Joe get one and I don't?"

Momza: "Because there wasn't one with your name on it."

Ari: "Ugh. Why couldn't you name me Samantha, Rachel or somebody?"

Ari: Mommmm! Joseph is making me mad!

Momza: He's pushin' your buttons?

Ari: I don't have any buttons. I don't collect buttons.

Joseph to the dog: "C'mon girl--shake what your momma gave you!"

The Caboose, while I am fixing her hair for school:

"I don't want my ponytails braided."

Momza: "Why not?"

"Because it shows my inner beauty."

The Caboose: "I don't like my middle name. It's embarassing, it's not cool. It makes me awkward."

Momza: "Really? Hmmm, well what name do you like?"

The Caboose: "Something cool, like 'Madeline'."

Momza: "Okay you can change your name. What would you like to be called?'

The Caboose: "Arianna Madeline Hope A."

Momza: "Done!"

Momza to Boofus, after he'd spilled some hot cocoa on the counter:

"Hey, what do you do when you accidentally make a mess?"

Boofus: "You lie. And blame it on the dog."

Boofus: "Mom! Ari's bleeding!"

"Where?"

Boofus, pointing: "Over there."

"No, where on her body is she bleeding?"

Boofus: "Oh, on her knee."

Diana's heading downstairs, as the kids are leaving for school:

"Bye Bee, have a great day!"

"Wait! Where am I going?"

Diana, laughing, "You're not going anywhere right now,

I'm going down to take a shower and I won't see you before you leave for school!"

Bee: "Oh yeah."

Diana, after reading the headline, "Gaining Weight is All in Your Head"--

"Of course it's all in your head, that's where your mouth is."

At dinner, Momza to Boofus:

"Okay, when we get home, you need to take a bath."

"I don't wanna take a bath. You sit in your own FILTH!"

Driving in the car:

Dad: why do girls always have to change the radio?"

Bee: "Because we have the Authority. Boys just run red lights and drink beer."

Boofus to the Caboose, when she asked him to bring her more water to the table:

"You're Not Roll-a-tee...get it yourself."

Momza to kids, arguing in backseat on way to school:

"It's a good thing you guys are going to school today, otherwise I'd have to sell you on Ebay or to the Circus.

The Caboose: "What? You're going to get rid of me?"

Momza: "Well, you guys could swing on the trapeze, feed the lions..."

The Caboose: " You know I'm afaid of heights! and lions!"

Boofus, at the sink, rinsing dishes, discovers the water to be too hot. He decides to blame Dad who used the water last.

"Dad! It's your fault!"

"No, it's not-- you're running the water. That's your responsibility. It's your fault--just like the war in Iraq. It's because of your failed policies!"

"HA! YOU'RE the reason we went to War!"

(All this while Pres. Obama's speech is on in the background)

13 yo Daisie to Mom in car:

"Ohhh the boy I like asked another girl out today. Her name is Suzie."

"SuzieQ, hunh?"

"I don't know her last name."

"Do you love me?"

"I've never wanted to hit you. But someday I might."

"Gee, thanks."

"No problem, Babyhead."

Boofus: "I'm never dating. And I'm not gettin' married.Women are nothin' but trouble. And they squeeze your pressure points!"

Mr. W., laughing: "Yeah they sure do know how to squeeze your pressure points, Boof."

Caboose, yelling: "Mom, Joseph hit me!"

Momza: "Joseph, keep your hands to yourself."

Boofus: "I used a spoon. It was a spoon."

Momza: "Keep your hands to yourself."

Boofus: "It wasn't my hands! It was a S-P-O-O-N!"

Momza: "Well you and your spoon are about to get timed out in your bedroom."

Mr. W: "I would like to bear my testimony. I have a testimony of bears. They're true."

Momza: "Did you eat breakfast yet?"

Boofus: "No, there's nothin' good."

Momza:"Well, there's cereal, a bagel, fruit...I could make you some eggs?"

Boofus: "None of that sounds good."

Momza:' Well, if you could have anything you wanted, what would it be?"

Boofus: "I dunno."

Daisie: "The Best of EFY is this weekend! Can I go?"

Momza: "Sure--wait, you're not 14 yet. I dunno."

Daisie: "I'll be 14 in [x-amount] of Days!"

Br. Malley, our HT pipes in, to her: "Shhhh...just go and don't say anything." to me:"But probably not the dance later."

Momza:"Oh right--okay, Daise, you can go for the talks but not the dance."

Daisie: "Nevermind."

The Caboose, as we're on the elevator in the Doc's ofc:

"When they look at your throat, do they have to cut it open?"

Momza:"What??--of course not! Where'd you come up with that?"

" I dunno. "

It was then I realized, the Caboose hasn't ever been sick enough to go to a medical doctor. Bless her heart.

Ari talking to Dani on the phone about caring for the new dog:

"I'll be in charge of walking him, because you know how I feel about picking up poop. YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT!"

Boofus insisted he pick out his own shirt for school...comes to me and says, "Someone took off all the buttons on this shirt!"

I flipped the placket over to reveal otherwise.

"Whew!" no button thieves in our house!"

Its lunch time, what does everyone feel like throwing up?

A sleep-deprived Momza to Mr W:

"you better take it easy and get some rest today, cuz you're headed for a ..uh..a collap-sa-tion."

"Ari, you sure want a peice of pie? You're just gonna throw it up in a bit."

"I don't care."

::::sittin' around the table, we're talking about which temples the girls would like to be married in someday::::

Nana: "Portland."

Daisie: "Mesa, definitely."

Boofus, who'd been quiet thru most of the convo:"Well, if I ever decide to like

girls--and I don't now cause I hate them, and they're jerks!! --[his finger pointing to his sisters]--I want to

go to the Hawaii temple."

Boofus: "Mom, when you weren't here, Dad said the "S-word. He's a cusser."

Dad, sheepishly: “No, I don’t think so.”

Boofus: “ Yeah he did. Mom tell him.”

Boofus to Dad: You can hit me as hard you want for ten bucks.

Dad: Can I draw blood?

Boofus: It’s fifteen for blood.

Dad: How about a ping with a baseball bat, how much then?

Boofus: Twenty-two fifty.