Something I Learned from Cleaning McMansions

My mother and father used to
pack us kids in their old '59 Ford,

I think it was a Rambler,

and say,

"Let's go for a drive."

And we'd be thrilled 

and I mean it,

THRILLED

to go anywhere in the car!

Growing up in Miami,

we always seemed to end up somewhere along

Key Biscayne

looky-looing at beach front mansions...

my mom would be ahhh-ing and ohhh-ing

at their grandeur and say things like,

"Don'tcha wish we lived there?"

Until recently,

I did the same ridiculous thing--

drive by humongous houses and say, 

"Wow, I wonder what they did in the pre-existance

to deserve that kind of blessing?"

Half-wishing I knew the answer to an absurd 

question.

After my wonderful, exciting experience last week
of cleaning a 10,000 square foot McMansion,
I discovered some thing about my Self:
I don't want to be the Mother of a mansion.

I don't want to be in charge of nine bathrooms.
Two full humongous kitchens with marble countertops,
and leaded windows,
Two Deep Freeze fridges and Two side-by-side ranges
and an extra-large grill on the island.

I don't want to be responsible for shoes that are lost
in 7 bedrooms--each room larger than the first
with closets bigger than my current familyroom;
and the floors,
oh heaven help me, the floors--
carpet, tile, wood--
it doesn't even matter,
the time involved in just cleaning the floors
is dreadful.
--and don't even get me started on cleaning those
numberless windows.
ugh.
UGH.
And yes, I realize that if I did live there,
I'd have FT housecleaners too,
but my goodness,
I'd still be in charge of getting it done.

Being invited into a Mc-Mansion as a guest
is wonderful, delightful even
but
after the invitation to clean one--
I find my Self no longer enchanted
by the spectacle.

And that, my friends is a lesson for Me.
I discovered I am a Simple Woman.
I want space for my stuff
space for my yahoo's stuff
and room for guests
and once I have that much space,
I'm good.
And here, the Lord knew it all along.

*Now, some more things I learned last week from my stint as being a housecleaner:
Mrs. Meyers All Purpose Cleaner.
I'm a Mrs. Meyer's Convert.
She is Green and Lovely.
Pair Mrs. Meyers up with
Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser
and you've got a really good team
for tough stains.
And good ol vinegar and water is best and cheapest
for cleaning windows and glass.
Use lint-free, fabric-softener-free cloths to
wipe windows and glass down for a smudge-free
shine.
And for hardwood floors,
I tried and liked Bona Hardwood Floor Cleaners.

So there ya have it--
the stuff I learned from cleaning McMansions.
Good stuff, Maynard.