The Dentist, Dog Poop, and Chicken n Stars Soup!

Monday began like an other Monday.
A few whines and sighs
at the week that lay before me,
dragging my bahooey outta bed
and going to work.

Not that I mind working.
I don't.
But, still, working 40 hours
has introduced other challenges--
like staying on top of housework--
I look around and ask outloud,
"Hey! Where's the Mother that works here?
What is all this mess?"
and more importantly,
a job is
sucking time away for things I like--
like grocery shopping
and
facebook.

Well, last Sunday my Nana had a toothache.
SO we made an appointment to see our awesome dentist,
Dr. Rogers.
He comes from a long line of awesome-ness.
his brother is also Dr. Rogers
and was our
Bishop Rogers until our ward boundaries changed last Spring.
But neither of them are related to our
Bishop Rodgers, also Dr. Rodgers
in Meridian, Idaho.

Ya still here?

Anywho,
we had an appointment for Nana.
Then, on Wednesday afternoon,
Monsieur Boofus chipped a tooth.
So then we had two appointments to see
Dr. Rogers.
Nana needed her wisdom teeth removed.
All four of 'em.
Ugh.

So we had two appointments yesterday morning...
at 7am.
Can I just
Do I even have to say what a pain
So we are grateful that we could go into the dentist
at 7am.

As we got into the car to go,
from the backseat I hear,
"Man, it stinks back here."
"It smells bad, Mom."

"What? Open the windows then--
it's probably leftover french fries from the other night
when we ate on the way to Mutual."

"No, it smells like dog uh, crap."

"Don't say 'crap'."


****

So we go into the office.
Boofus is seen first--
he's out pretty fast--
the chipped tooth was a baby tooth
and the permanent tooth is coming down,
thus pushing the now-dead baby tooth out--
they pulled it out
and everyone's good to go.

Since Nana's appointment is so long,
I told the yahoos to get in the car
and I'd run them to school.

I look around the lobby and Boofus isn't there--
the Caboose says,
"Oh Joseph's in the bathroom-- he found dog poop on his shoe."

Nice.

This means that the dentist and all of the nice dental assistants
got a whiff of dog poop
while my son was with them.
In their tiny rooms.
At 7 am in the morning.

And he's in their bathroom cleaning it??

Kill me now.

Luckily, (eye to the sky),
he did not clean it in the bathroom
beyond taking a swipe at it with tissue--
he came out tip toe-ing,
and waited until we got home to wash it--
in the kitchen sink!!!

Seriously?!!

No no no!!! I cried--
"OUTSIDE"...
and he did.
And his momma was happy.

And he went to school with a wet shoe.
And one less tooth.

I went back to the Dentist's office,
wearing the invisible cone of shame,
to pick up Nana.

The dental assistant came out
beforehand to tell me it had been a difficult procedure--
I wont' go into the details
but it wasn't good.

Finally,
the moment of truth--
Nana comes walking out with what looks like a diaper on her head
but is in fact, a cold pack.

Of course, I took pictures.

But have been forbidden to share them

with anyone who isn't a blood relative.

Anyway, Nana knew she looked funny,

and we both started laughing...

and laughed all the way to the car,

thru the Sonic line to get her a banana shake,

where she couldn't feel her lips or tongue--

as the liquid poured out her mouth

and onto her lap.

thru the bank drive thru lane to deposit a check

and finally when we tucked her into my bed

with a remote in hand.

She laughed until she cried little tiny tears down her cheeks.

Then she settled in and watched 47 episodes of "House"

for the rest of the day.

And we gave her what we give everyone in our house who is sick

and needs a little pick-me-up:

Campbell's Chicken and Stars soup.

MMMM Good.

I was so happy to get my first paycheck yesterday!!
Oh the things I was gonna do with it!!
I had a list going on the fridge.
Not on the list??--
Going to the dentist and paying a bill of $587.00.
Nope, that was not on there.
Not even close.

Excuse me while I go make myself some
Campbells' Chicken and Stars soup.