Maybe it's me.
Maybe I've lost my parenting skills
like I lose my car keys once in awhile;
but last night
I went to bed feeling awful
and I'm still thinking about it
this morning.

This is how it went down:

Mr Wonderful and I had a Stake Meeting
and on the way home in the car,
we do what we always do--
talk about the direction our family is going,
discussing each child and their needs, etc.
And the things that needs improvement
and how we can go about making those improvements.
You do this too, right?

Well, one of the major issues we've had around here
lately,
has been the chore of
"dishes".
Each of the 4 children at home
has a "dish week"--
we had to do that because
"dish nights" weren't working for us.
Mainly,
they were just being ignored as kids went off to play or to bed
and unless I micro-managed them,
read "got on them",
I'd wake up to a sink full of dirty dishes.
And I hate. that.
And the arguments from that situation always began with:
"[They] didn't finish last night,
so why do I have to do their dishes tonight?
No fair!"
I found that to keep from dealing with an argument,
I'd just do them.
I know. Stupid.
Shot myself in the foot right there.

So we changed it to "dish weeks".
Well, I'm sad to say,
it didn't make it any better.
Only now, we know who doesn't do their dishes,
because of whose week it is.
And the attitude of the older girls has been the worst.
They could care less.
"I'll do them in the morning."
"I'll do them later."
"I wasn't even here for dinner."
"I didn't eat."
and on and on.
So, I've been doing them. Again.

So I've had enough of waking up to dishes in the sink.
Mr. W and called the kids together last night
to discuss the new rules and consequences of "Dish night."
Basically, I told them that I'll be working every day this week,
in addition to running around Colorado interveiwing people for Dean
and I want more help with Dish Night, so this was the New Deal:

Do them on your night,
or get them for a week
AND
we custom-made the consequences
for each child:
Diana--the 20 year old, has to pay me $5.00 every time
I do her dishes.
Daisie--the 15 yr old, gets to hand over her phone for the day.
The Caboose and Boofus--no playdates that day.

Well,
it got ugly.
The two oldest led the rebellion
and I couldn't believe what happened.
They were smart aleck and disrespectful
to us in front of the younger children.
I still, this morning,
don't know what I've done wrong
to raise two girls to think that way.

I'm a tough ol Momza.
I try to parent with logic and love
but wow! this stung.

The girls' answer to my wanting more help
and accountability,
was to question me with what I do all day long?
"You're here most of the day. Why should we have to clean?"

Yeah. I know.
Mr. W was boiling.

I re-stated my expectations
and then went upstairs for the night.
Angry and hurt.

Apparently, I suck.
Apparently, my efforts aren't appreciated.

I told them I am On Strike this week
so they can see what all I do when I don't do it.

And, after this, I realized it's time for the oldest
to leave the nest.
She's twenty.
I think it's time she pay her own light bill
and all the other responsibilities that come with
adulthood.
You don't get to undermine your parents
and live in their home.

Has anyone else gone through this before?
What have I done wrong?