Sunday, January 2, 2011

The Worst Part About Church....

So after a lovely, sweet Relief Society meeting at church,
the last bell rings and it's time for closing prayer.

The indians are restless
just on the other side of the door--
you know that sound, right??
Like Barnum and Bailey's Circus train
ch-ch-chugging
up the hallway
and pfshhhhhhhh
the brakes hit and everyone gets off
right at the Relief Society door.
Either that or a riot is forming.

I had plans to join la familia
right after the door opened,
but alas,
my attention is wanted by our
sweet Relief Society President,
then
the kids' new piano teacher,
then
a dear friend wanted the recipe that won
a place in the Mary Englebreit cookbook.

My kids are circling me like
sharks in a tank--
"I'll be right there!" I tell them.
"Go on out to the car."  I say.
Then I have to shoot darts out my eyeballs
to get them to leave me be
for five minutes.
Clearly,
they have yet to be inspired by
John Lennon's:
"Let It Be".

Okay so I make it out to the car,
and that's when it happened,
without preface or warning,
Aliens possessed my children's bodies,
because they started being snarky with each other
and continued to do so
until every good feeling I'd absorbed in three hours'
of Church time,
was nearly completely evaporated!

Mr W had to give a shout out to them
to be quiet FCOL!
And then we drove home in silence.

As we drove I thought,
there's got to be a better way to end our Sabbath meetings
than arguing on the way home!
What if.....
I took the other car
and we split them up?
What if...
we asked other members to bring our kids home
in our car
and we'd bring their kids home in ours?
What if I just said I'd walk home
and arrive by bedtime,
thus relieving my self of Sunday dinner-making-responsibilities
on top of that?
Hunh, Hunh??

That's the worst part of Church--
keeping those good feelings once the bell rings
and we're hungry and tired and all in the same car together.

Next week, I'm thinking of picking up the yahoos in shifts,
that, or threats of walking home in the snow.
Uphill.
10 Miles.
OR
I could just bring dinner with us in the back of the car
and have, like a tailgating party,
a picnic in the Church parking lot?
Maybe just bring snacks for the ride home?

I dunno.

I gotta go finish making dinner
and get ready for Devotional:
TOPIC:
How Can We Keep Those Good Sunday Feelings 
Even In The Car On The Way Home?

10 comments:

  1. I would just adopt the kids out. I think that would be a great solution.

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  2. @Kristina: Always the forward thinker, you are!!
    How many can I send you?

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  3. Hmm, I was actually thinking the same thing today on the way home and made one of the girls clean the bathroom for her snarkiness. She was not happy about that at all, but it did make the car go rather quiet. They all hate cleaning the bathroom.
    I have also tried pulling the car over and sitting there for awhile until the chaos calms down. Then I will stop and drive without saying a thing. When snarkiness rears it's ugly head, I pull over again and wait. I do not yell or say anything when I do this. That is the best way to get the message across. However, it does help if you tell them before it happens that you do not have the energy to drive anywhere when they are snarky with each other and with you. Oh yeah, that one works really well when you use it while driving somewhere that they absolutely don'w want to be late to. I am so not nice!!

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  4. bring food/snacks - let them know not to be snarky- something really gummy, only today you'd have to be going to the late time slot church and say a pray before you pass out the peanut butter.

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  5. @PattyAnn: If I stop the car, I may be tempted to just get out.lol
    @Lisalulu: Church now starts at 1pm--so they're definitely hungry. I'll try snacks next week--maybe lace them with DimeTapp or some equally effective sedative. And a prayer can't hurt too!

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  6. I like the snacks in the car idea!

    =)

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  7. I used to bf Sam in church. Of course, you've a couple more than that would cope with.....

    What else? I used to give him a Tupperware box with chocolate buttons in it. Unfortunately for him, they were mixed with raisins and wholewheat breakfast cereal. That took ages to eat, wasn't all sweets and met most of his major food groups lol!

    *hug* Praying your good feelings back into you.

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  8. @s'me: what does bf mean? I'm over here thinking and I can't come up with anything!? thx for your prayers.

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  9. I hear ya, lady! For that matter, I hate it when women let their kids come in after RS, and I've just wrapped up some nice, "Let's keep the spirit a little while longer" postlude on the piano, and their kids take over with "Heart and Soul" because, hey! that's what a piano's for, right? Grrr...

    And then, yes, bicker bicker gripe gripe. All the way home. And you and I have kids the same ages. Would you ever have imagined that kids in their TWENTIES would still fight over who has to ride in the back for the 3 minutes you're in the car??

    Double grrr...

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  10. @Denae: And this is why we're friends...you totally get me.

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