My Young Mothering Days

I had three yahoos in two years.
That's right,
I brought home from the hospital,
Number 3 child
on Number 1's Second Birthday.
Get that?

I know no other woman who has done that,
so I figure that's the reward right there--
being able to say
I had three yahoos in two years.

Thankfully,
I learned a few things that helped me survive
the early years:

Diaper Service.
It came twice a week
and delivered over 200 cloth diapers each time.
Back then,
disposable diapers offended my senses--
they were rough, leaky and went straight to the trash.
So I didn't compromise on cloth diapers,
even if I did have three yahoos in them at one time.
By the time child number 4 came,
six years later,
Luvs were created,
and I changed over and loved it.
Just keeping it real here.

Schedule.
The yahoos got up at 7am
and I'd look at the clock thinking
"It's just twelve hours. I can do this."
After breakfast,
there were baths,
getting dressed for the day,
and getting out of the house
for all of us.
Because my husband was a FT student,
there wasn't alot of disposable income,
so for the most part,
I became a Mall Rat.
Pack the diaper bag full,
and Go!
I'd pile the kids into the two seater stroller,
and put the other carrier on the top,
and walk and walk and walk
around the Mall.
It actually helped me to lose weight,
and stay sane.
I learned where all the mother-friendly bathrooms
were in the Mall,
so I could nurse the youngest
when needed,
and then after lunch,
we'd head home.
For naps.
All of us.
I'd get up before they woke
and start dinner,
do some laundry,
whatever,
and the rest of the afternoon was spent at home.
Dinner time was around 6,
bedtime was at 7.
And then I could watch TV,
do crafts,
journal,
or do nothing at all.
I needed that time to myself
after they went to bed to just BE.
And I didn't stay up late either--
I was in bed by 9--10 at the latest.
And, like Groundhog's Day,
it started all over the next day.

That's just how it was those first few months
after Number 3 was born.
As the kids got older,
we did different things--
go swimming (we lived in AZ) alot,
went to movies,
visited friends,
the park (in the winter!)
Joy School,
day trips to Prescott to escape the heat,
working out at the gym,
Mommy playdates and lunches,
whatever.
But I knew that we all needed to get out of the house
to stay sane,
and we did.
In hindsight, I am grateful that I had a husband who encouraged me
to get out of the house.

I had a SIL who had kids and was never seen again.
Her house sucked her in,
and she rarely left it.
It didn't help with her depression.
She didn't answer a ringing phone
or the door when you knocked on it
if she could help it.

I also learned that some days the kids just weren't up to being out.
So trips had to be cut short and naps were sooner than later.
I didn't take sick kids out of the house at all.
I learned my limits as well as my yahoos' limits.
We all learned to compromise.

Record.
Take lots of pictures.
N' write in journals--
I wrote in a baby journal for each child,
so that I can go back and recall their childhood
in my own words and they can too.
Try not to rush the days you're in,
because "these days" turn into "those days"
much sooner than you can possibly imagine.
Make sure that "surviving" and "enduring" doesn't suck up
"living" and "enjoying".
There is much joy and discovery in young motherhood--
if you had a less-than-good childhood,
teach yourself how to be the kind of parent you wanted
by reading parenting books by people you trust,
talk to other mothers in your circle at church or playgroups,
glean ideas from other sources and try them out your self.

Be patient with yourself, young mother.
The journey is long and the way is exciting!
Be prepared to learn and stretch mothering muscles
you never knew you had!

Cultivate the seeds of motherhood--
nourish your mind with knowledge,
fill your heart with understanding and compassion,
keep your hands busy with teaching
and your ears open for guidance
your eyes will see beyond the veil,
and in time,
those seeds will come to fruition.

You'll be the "Mother of the Groom"
or the "Mother of the Bride"
and sooner than you realize,
you'll be "Granma"--
snuggling soft cheeks
and sneakin' goodies into small hands
that fit inside of yours perfectly.

Those young mothering years
are long past
and I miss them so.