The One In Which I Apologized

Apparently,
I have made a major gaffe
on this here lil blog o' mine.
And when I say "major",
I mean,
depending on whom you talk to,
I made a mistake.
Perspective is everything.

I was let in on this faux pas
by none other than my
layin'-on-the-floor-singin'-Celine-Dion-outloud-
gettin'-ready-to-go-on-a-mission-girl,
who,
in-this-post-shall-be-unnam-ed.

I failed to realize/acknowledge/gloat-in-my-own-popularity
that more than 6 people
read this blog,
regularly.

I see the stats,
I do.
N' I know that more than a few hundred lost souls
come here via various search terms,
only to leave sad and disappointed
by the lack of relative association
and relevant information
they are in fact,
looking for...
So for that, I apologize dear people from
faraway lands across the planet
that I am neither relatable nor relevant
to what you're looking for.

I am basing my account of 6 readers,
n' I do so by the number of comments I receive on any given day.
Six is actually high these days,
but still, I reckon my calculations are pretty fair.

But
APPARENTLY,
I am dead wrong in my assumption.
As the person-who-shall-not-be-named
has informed me--
she has friends who read my blog--
Young adults who frequent my lil' peice o' scrambled-egg-homemade-crockery.
I.am.astounded. flattered. and slightly bewildered.
I had no stinkin' idea that anyone under the age of 25 would find an ounce of interest
on this blog page.
And because of that degree of ignorance,
I shared something here,
that was not going to be shared by the "she" that has been previously mentioned,
until an actual large, white, envelope
postmarked from Salt Lake City, Utah
was both delivered and read by
the Addressee,
in this case, it would be a young Celine Dion fan,
who likes to run marathons, text all the livin' long day,
and considers chocolate another food group.

In her words,
and I most emphatically quote,
"Mom cannot keep a secret!"

It's true.
I hung my noggin in full shame and declared to her,
"I had no idea your friends read my blog. How cool is that?!"
And then I apologized for sharing that which was,
technically not my news to share;
even though I was in labor for 9 long hours,
and had an un-medicated, natural birth
for the above-noted "she".
Even though,
for the past 21 years, 9 months
I have prayed and paid her way through
this mortal life.
Clearly, I have over-stepped my boundaries
in sharing my excitement
with my six known-followers
on this tiny little blog that gets a few hundred hits a day.
Clearly,
I need to take a minute and reconsider my attempts
to record my pride and exuberance
over the choices such a lovely child o' mine would make
in her young life.
Clearly.

So this is it--
I feel real bad about this.
Really.
Almost as bad as I felt in labor with you, dear child.
Especially the part where I let out a scream at the end
when my body pushed out a 8 pound 5 ounce human being.
But that was then,
and this is now.
And a secret, even a dumb one, is still a dumb secret that is not mine to tell.

p.s. The mailman has yet to deliver that big,white envelope. And when he does, I am bound to wait
to share the sacred destination of her mission until she has made 3 phone calls: 1st goes to a person known as "The Big O", 2nd goes to "Wild One" and 3rd to someone whom I cannot remember.  After that, I have permission to shout it from the rooftops.