This is a Test. Teenager Test Take Five.

You know I'm on my fifth teenager.
If being the parent of a seventeen-year old was a paying job,
I'd have clenched job security in the year 2000
and receive a hefty pension in about six more years.

Yeah, I've been doing this a LONNNNNNG (that's 7 N's there--one for each yahoo)
Time.
Now the problem with this is that while MY experience is tried and true,
the next yahoo coming up to the magical teenage years
is a Novice...capital "N".
They think this is my first rodeo.
My first bull ride on an angry longhorn.
Even though they've witnessed my skills and cunning
with the siblings ahead of them,
they don't get that this Momza can hold on longer than 8 seconds.

O sure, they value some parts of my experience
absolutely.
When it benefits them.
But good night! they shudder when it doesn't.

Case in point,
the current seventeen year old lost her mind this past weekend.
She demonstrated this loss
by making choices that were counter-productive
to having-slash-maintaining a good relationship with her dear Momza.
When I called her out on it,
and reminded her that I'm not a doormat,
will not lay down for foot-wipeage,
and that her lack of appreciation offended me--
why, her reaction was totally a novice's reaction
thru n thru:
"You're my mother. You have to do those things!"

Yeah.

So, I politefully declined her assertion and told her I'd give her time to think about
what is and is not my "duty" to her as a Mother,
by stepping back a little and letting her find another way, her way,
of facilitating her life.
The audacity of it all nearly cost her eyesight!--
as she rolled her eyes so far back into her noggin,
it was like Apollo 13's jag behind the moon.

"Fine!" she retorted. "I have friends who can take me to school, and take me to work,
and pick me up, too!"

Mwah ha ha ha

"Okay, that's great. Let me know how it goes." I answered back.

Now, I knew the planets were aligning, and fingers n' toes crossed,
I was hoping that barring any major development
my daughter's karma was about to come full circle
and kick her in the
bahooey.

Yes, she was about to learn that her teenage friends
are as self-centered as she is.
Sure they'll run her to school. Once.
And home from school. If they have time.
And to work, if they have the gas/time/inclination/nothing better to do.

"Let her learn."-- the winds of teenage-parentdom whispered to my mother-heart.

That was last night.

This morning,
before school, I took a risk and went down to her dungeon...
the one with 42 piles of clothing...some folded, some not,
some clean, some not.
More shoes than Jessica Simpson,
and other UFOs randomly laying about her living quarters.

I found her in the midst of this chaos,
curling her hair for school.

"I want you to know that I love you, Day. I don't enjoy arguing with you and having bad feelings.
BUT. (her eyes start for the course around the moon) You owe me an apology. That's on you.
AND (yes, I'm still talking even tho I wonder if she's even in this universe), until you do,
I'm still stepping back.  My feelings have been hurt. And you need to figure out a way to make me
want to invest any more time in you."

She had still not come back around from the dark side of the moon
by then,
so I turned and walked upstairs to help the other yahoos get ready for school.

Her ride for school came. She left without a word.
I looked at the clock as it got close to her release time from school--
since there was no text or call,
I figured she'd gotten a ride home.
Which she did. And a ride to work.
And, a ride home from work.

Now, let me say this,
the day was long for me.
I don't enjoy these "teenager tests" of power and will.
My feelings are that by the time my child is a Senior in high school,
our relationship and roles should be evolving from disciplinarian and student
to mentor and friend.
The other 4-teens-now-adults have taught me that.
Mutual respect is KEY to having a good relationship at this point.
Feeling the way I do,
today was a long one.
I'd put all my money on the fact that she would quickly learn
that she does still me need to facilitate her life,
and noone in the world wants to feel unappreciated,
nor will you find someone willing to invest in you
if there is no reciprocation.

SO.
I quietly let the day pass
as she exercised her "independence day" from Mom.

About 9pm, Miss Liberty walked quietly into my room
and stood by my bedside,
obviously wanting me to turn my attention from
"The Voice" (btw Trevin Hunte is #1),
so she could talk to me.

I waited for a commercial,
and then lifted my eyebrows toward her--
"Yes? Do you need something?" (mwahahaha)

"Uh. Yeah. I came up to apologize."

"Oh, you need something, hunh?" I said.

"A ride. I need a ride to school."

"Where're all your friends who offered to drive you every which way?" I asked.

"Hmm. Uh. They can't tomorrow."

And Miss Liberty followed up with a,
 "I'll-try-harder-to-express-gratitude-for-all-you-do-for-me-everyday, Ok?"

"Ok, That's a good place to start. I will appreciate your effort. See you in the morning."

And then I exhaled.

Another test passed today.
WooHoo!
My experience has not failed me.
I held my ground and my breath--
and let her learn for herself
that you catch more flies with honey.
Everytime.