Choose Your Love and Love Your Choice

We've all heard it over and over again..."the choice is Yours"...

I'm a big believer in "owning" your life. I have a sign in my kitchen that says

~~"THOU SHALT NOT WHINE"~~

And I mean it. I can't bear whining. Physically and mentally, it wears on me. Life IS all about choices--if you don't like the direction you're headed, you certainly won't like the final destination! Own your life. I tell my kids that all the time. You can't plan a trip for London and not pack a raincoat or an umbrella. Likewise, if you wanna end up in Hawaii, leave your winter coat behind! Extra baggage is just that--Extra. It gets non-sensically heavy and is best left behind. As in, In the Past. Also, Preparation is essential.

Sometimes, being a wife and mother is messy. And inconveniant. Sometimes it's a hair-raising, tongue-biting, eye-popping, tear-jerking experience. When David Scott was a missionary in Canada, I got a letter from him that was better than winning the lottery! He wrote, "Thanks Mom, for not killing me in my sleep when I know I deserved it." Yeah, he did. What a payback for him to realize his part in our relationship. That's another phrase I use ALOT: "DO YOUR PART"....do your part...do your part. Whatever you're involved in--a cause, a career, a marriage, a relationship, schooling, faith...whatever your life entails, if you want to have a positive expereince YOU GOTTA DO YOUR PART. It's sweeter that way too. Noone is gonna hand you a perfect life. Life is a Do-It-Yourself Project. Owning your life means recognizing that A) You're not perfect and mistakes will be made. B) When a mistake is made, there are 4 steps you need to do to get past it: first: Own it. If needs be, openly confess your mistake. second, Apologize. Admiting your imperfections is actually freeing. thirdly, make amends the best you can. Fourth: Learn from it, forsake it, and move forward.

For example, when my kids have hurt one another, they know that part of the "I'm sorry" they offer to the offended party needs to include, "I will never do that again." And they need to mean it. Cuz if the behavior continues, then they lose their credibility. This process is also called "repentance"--some people think it's only a religious practice--to be repentant--but it's not. It's for all of us to learn to be better, to learn to keep our word and master ourselves. We all know people who have hurt others, maybe even ourselves, repeatedly--and the words "I'm sorry" just doesn't cut it after awhile. They've lost their credibility with us. Trust is lost. But if they are careful to not repeat the offense, whatever it is, then trust is restored. It is my experience that we all want to trust those we love implicitly and most of us are quick to change when given the chance.

You know, if someone hurts my feelings and apologizes, I am quick to forgive. That's just as important. Forgiveness. It's been said that "holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies." Forgiveness is freeing too. I have found that the older I get, the more Mercy I need, the easier it is to give mercy too. Owning My Life leaves no room for blame. If I don't like how things are going, there's no reason I can't say, "Oops, that's not working for me, something needs to change." And just for the record, apologizing to my kids doesn't work against me...it binds me to them closer. They know I'm human and just trying my best.

If I were Queen...actually it has been my experience that a Mother is the Heart of the Home. Those little sayings " If Momma ain't happy, Nobody's happy" "Happy Wife, Happy Life" "A mother is only as happy as her saddest child"~~~ all of those are true. My mood is reflected in my family's mood and behavior. What an incredible responsibility. Somedays it is overwhelming. I'm just a person. I haven't got everything figured out. All I know is that I want to be happy. And the things that make me happy most are when my family is happy, productive, respectful of themselves and others, and show appreciation in the little things. My family is my life's work, no matter what else I may devote time and talent to, my legacy will be how my family shows Love.
In my teenager's room hangs a poster that she and I made together, it says "Happiness is a Choice". And it is. Part of being Queen is to show my kids how to be happy. In fact, I would dare say, that is the secret to life...to learn to live happily. Because really, don't we all want happy endings?

*Originally posted on 1/3/09