SPRING BREAK : Weekend Wahoos: Talking in Church

Saturday was busy as usual. My married daughter came down again. She's been married just over a month, and still comes home on weekends. I didn't expect that, but it's nice that she is happier everytime I see her! Mr. Idaho is usually AWAY with his school's wrestling team, so she comes down and does laundry and hangs out. Mr. Wonderful is not so crazy about the laundry part, but that's another story.
Anywho, the evening was busy getting for our family presentation in Church yesterday. Two weeks ago we were asked to speak on the topic of Family Home Evening. Mr. Wonderful, myself, Nana, Daisie, and we included Taylow, so she could bear her testimony for the first time.

Let me say first, my girls were super...they said all kinds of nice things about our family--I let the congregation know that my girls will be getting a large sum of money for all the niceties.
Taylow's testimony was, for me, the highlight. She has grown so much, even over the last week.
She and Nana are reading the scriptures every morning and night together. They both got limited-use recommends yesterday and are headed to the Denver Temple this next weekend.
There are no words for how happy I am for them.
Mr. Wonderful is not a public speaker. He'd rather have his eyes poked out than stand up and talk in Church. Business meetings are no problem. Church however, makes him sweat.
In talking to Taylow about it last week, he said: "There are 4 stages in giving a talk in Church.
The first is the phone call. You have to say yes even when you want to say no. The second stage is DENIAL: Surely they don't mean You. You've got nothing to say! The third is ANGER: WHY? Why are they making me do this?! And then there's four...you know what that is, right?
At this point, I say, " Resignation? ACCEPTANCE? OBEDIENCE?" He shakes his head, "No, Death."

So here's a few things I shared in my talk:
In the Pre- Existence, we lived with our Heavenly Father, as His Sons and Daughters. We belong in the Family of God. I imagine we were very happy there, but given the choice, we left our Heavenly home to come to Earth to be tried and tested and within the Law of Free Agency, do our best to live the commandments so we can become like our Father in Heaven, and return to Him.
We believe in Eternal Families.
So we’re here. We’ve come to this Earth into a Family. Then we meet Miss Right or Mr. Wonderful. And off we go to make our own family.

As a Doula, I first meet with couples, and let them know who I am there to support. I am not there solely for the Mother-- but also for the Father. While she is in Labor, I know it is HIS voice she wants in her ear, it is HIS touch she responds best to, and it is HIS eyes she looks to for truth and encouragement. I am there to coach him as he encourages her.

When a baby comes into this world, Angels seem to accompany that sweet new Spirit. I know this because everyone who is in the room is filled with Love. There are smiles on their faces—NEW kinds of smiles—ones you’ve never seen before on her face and his. It is heavenly.
And a Family is born. This creation of a Family is Divine. It is the sustaining and growth of a family, that will help us become more like our Heavenly Father. The Sacrifice that comes from being a purposeful Parent refines us in ways nothing else can.

We’ve been counseled to give highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study & instruction, and wholesome family activities.

Because of the span of years between our children, we have gone through different phases of learning and teaching a couple of times each.
There were years, when all our FHE’s were missing was a WWF Announcer: “Let’s get ready to RUMMMMMMMBLE!”

At this stage, right now, we’re all at home most nights. Our family plays games weekly, the girls love to bake, and we ARE our Best Friends. The youngest kids are now in school and so the lessons can be taught with more detail and fullness.

So what does a Purposeful Family Home Evening look like?
Well I asked around and these are two of the responses I got:
“Does Monday night football count?”

Well, if you begin with a prayer, then a song, and end with a song and a prayer with a treat and a good fight in the middle, maybe.

Another offered: “Our home evenings last about an hour and a half. We have an opening song, a prayer, a lesson, a game, a closing song and prayer and a treat afterwards.”

Which one is the ideal model? You decide.

But there are guidelines about WHAT FAMILY HOME EVENINGS ARE NOT:


In the FHE Res. Book we are counseled in the article: Avoid Putting Children in Corners”:
“Even the tamest small animal will fight to preserve its life if it is backed into a corner. No family can hope for successful home evenings if the children feel threatened or pushed into a corner. Some parents, in trying to teach their family, sometimes use family home evenings to talk about personal problems of individual family members, thus embarrassing them and forcing them into corners. As a result, instead of confiding in their family and resolving problems, a child may withdraw, become angry, and possibly fear future home evenings. As parents, you should tactfully direct home evenings toward the solution of problems that affect the whole family, but never tear down or criticize individuals.
Home evenings must not become a time to check or report on whether children’s bedrooms are clean, toys are picked up, or chores are completed. Neither is it a time to determine whether one has really earned his allowance, or has been good enough to go out on a date the coming weekend. Wise parents will plan each home evening to avoid these personal conflicts. Family problems should be discussed, but not those that single out one family member, embarrassing him and pushing him into a corner. Corners are not comfortable!”
After reading that article, I realized that I have been guilty of that behavior.
There have been times when my teens were reluctant to come to home evening—no wonder. I have committed about every single offense listed.
Why was this counsel tucked away in a book? I want it on the COVER of the FHE Book or better, plastered on the living room wall.



When I was young mother, I resented having to be the one who was IN Charge of FHE . No fun.
Then, I grew up, and realized, FHE makes me happy. I want my family to like FHE and being together, so if I’m the one who plans it, no big deal.

We are in a day and age where the world is no longer subtle about its’ corrupt values. The collective evil messages are ringing in our children’s ears. The messengers not ashamed, nor do they hide in dark places anymore, they are out in the light, defying judgment.
We cannot underestimate the power of the Adversary. We cannot afford to.
BUT, We have, within our power, Divine rights as parents to call upon the Lord for help and protection of our family.
It is in the Home where we find Peace, Acceptance and Encouragement.


At a birth I recently attended, I was holding onto the new baby’s fingers while he was being examined—his parents eyes were fixed on the baby—he was beautiful—I said to them, ”This-This right here—is why you won’t sell him to the circus when he wrecks your car.”

My greatest legacy will be my children. Nothing else even compares to them. We are partners with our Heavenly Father as we bring His Spirit children to this earth to gain a body, and teach them all that we can to lead them back to our Heavenly Father. And because we are partners with God, He gives us the strength, courage and all that is necessary to do our part, including Prophets who have counseled us in these latter-day to hold on to our children. TO lead by example and by LOVE, and to hold family prayers and family home evenings.
To pull them in closer when they are the least lovable and need it most. And may I add, it is part of His Plan that tho we may do all we can, and still suffer from the choices our children may make-- exercising their free-agency--, that we can trust in His Redeeming power and love. He is not the Great Preventer, but the Great Redeemer. We are only asked to do our Part.

So what does a Purposeful Family Home Evening look like?
Perhaps a more important question is: “What does a it FEEL like?”

May we so live that our children will FEEL the love of the Savior in our homes and choose to Follow Him because we have led the way To Him.
****
Ta Da.

*this was originally posted 1/26/09 Since it is Spring Break...I'm taking a couple of days off to spend with my kiddos sans blogging. I felt impressed to re-post this...so whomever this is for, here you go. MWAH! I hope you got what you needed.~ Momza

So, we're good for about another 4 years I suspect before we're asked to speak again. Well, after next week. Then, I think, we're done. Mr. Wonderful slept like a baby last night after, what he called "a near-death-experience" (speaking in church). All is well.