Umbrellas And Trials

Having been sequestered at the house for these past endless weeks, I have had some pretty lucid moments. I think getting out for TOFW in Denver last week has left me with residual pockets of enlightenment--either that or I am downright delusional from Cabin Fever--and in that case, someone send help!


As I have said before, in the scriptures it says "it rains on the just and the unjust" and we don't have to look very far to see it is pouring down rain on alot of people. People in our commmunity, in our churches, at work, in our neighborhood and in our families, sometimes right in our own livingrooms. It's raining...and there seems to be a shortage of umbrellas to go around, if you know what I mean.




I have dear friends whose hearts ache because of the choices of their children.
We cringe when we see self-defeating behavior in people we love, don't we? We want to force them to use our "umbrella" when we see rain on their shoulders.
And as parents, we struggle to not let our children's choices define US. I am not my college-aged child's grades, or their unkept room. Nor am I a partner in their marriage. That's their responsiblity. If I have done my part, I have told them to have enough sense to come in out of the rain, right?
They too, have the gift of free agency...to choose for themselves. And I try to remember that even our all-knowing Heavenly Father doesn't force his knowledge on me.

Someone in my life is facing a divorce because of a lack of true love in his home. His calls leave me saddened for him and his family. From the outside, I can see the damage that has been done is extensive but not irreparable. Healing can happen--but I suspect they need help from an outside source like a counsellor or a clergy member. Most of their hurts come from poor habits. I told him, "What you have are bad habits. Stop it. Tell yourself that you are an Evolving Human Being and that you can change, that you MUST change if you want to have a family. It is not in your best interest to be stubborn and selfish at this point. Those things do not help your cause."
His wife is a good woman. And he has abused her trust in him, counting on her to be as she has always been, forgiving, committed, and supportive to him. He took alot more than he gave, and now, she wants out. What she's looking for is for him to make sure she's got an umbrella too.


There's alot of hurt going around. "Taking the easy way out" has lost it's flavor and charm in the world these days of bail-outs and corporate un-accountability.
The truth is, there is a better way. Not necessarily easier, but better. It involves that four letter word: W-O-R-K. Work on what ails you. Good old fashioned you-get-what-you-pay-for-work.
Listen, there's not enough money in the Lotto for us all. Luck is fallible. You can't wait around for your "boat to come in"--if you want a boat, you better head over to Home Depot and buy some wood, a strong hammer and a box of nails.
If you want a better marriage, work on it. If you want a better relationship with your kids, work on it. If you want a better life, work on it.




My Umbrella: What gets me thru the day is working to keep my heart focused on my Savior and following after Him. His example is clear and simple. The Golden Rule. 10 Commandments. Word of Wisdom. Tithing. Service. Prayer.

So simple. And yet, even people acquainted with His ways, look over their shoulders and ask, "Isn't there an easier way? As in, do you have a way that is all about me? all about what I want?-- That only benefits my agenda?" And the answer is "One Size Fits All." That's how perfect it is...this Plan of Happiness. And sometimes, you just gotta share your umbrella.


In "Forgiving Ourselves", Wendy Ulrich writes that sometimes, we let our trials define us to the point that we become dependant on them to direct our motives each day. We get so accustomed to them that we feed them with our attention, our resources, our time, our thoughts, our emotions...it can get to the point that our trials can actually blot out anything else, and we can lose interest for things that give us joy. If I am not my trials, what am I? What will I do with my increase in time, money, resources? What will I think about, talk about, and ponder? Our trials can become our security blankets in a very twisted way. When we let our trials become the focal point of our lives, what is left?


Her counsel is inspiring and warm...own what is yours to own, make amends/improvements where you can, and then, move forward with confidence in your life with hope and optimism and a purpose to do better and live happier. She states that by doing this we set the example for others to do the same. When we excuse our selves and live in our trials day in and out, we lose our credibililty with our family members when we try to tell them how to make good choices. They can see that we ourselves cannot manage our own happiness, so any amount of counsel from us is in fact, counter-productive. We aren't living what we're preaching in their eyes.

I thought about her counsel--it's so true. "Your words may be confusing, but example is always clear." (e. guest)
Rain makes things grow...just like trials.
The good thing after a big storm is the Rainbows...you just gotta look for 'em.

Anybody get this?