What? That Never Happened To You? Serious?

While I would like to evoke an image of sophistication and propriety, what I'm about to share with any interested parties will shatter that image to smithereens.

One Sunday afternoon, after church, there's a knock on the door. My then-4-year-old son runs to the door.
"No!" I say, "don't open--"
Too late. There stood the missionaries. Door wide open. Straight shot to my bedroom.
Me, standing in my slip.
I pushed my bedroom door closed. Got dressed and came out.
"Dontcha love kids?" I offer, cheeks burning.

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Sunday. Fast & Testimony Meeting. I'm at the podium. I see one of my wiggly kids break free from Dad and rush the podium stage. Dad grabs him, tosses him over his shoulder, heading for the foyer.
Atop his dad's shoulders, he yells: " HEP ME BISSOP!"

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Another Sunday. Another Fast & Testimony Meeting. Again, I'm attempting to bear my testimony. Different wiggly kid breaks free from Dad and rushes the podium. I watch in horror as I see my 3 yo play chase with Bishop and 2nd counsellor.

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1988-Sunday. Church. Sacrament. 5 yo son exhales loudly and says for all to hear: "Can we go home now? THIS is SO BORING."

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2004-Sunday. Church. Sacrament. Different 5 yo son, exhales loudly and says for all to hear: "Can we go home now? THIS is SO Boring."

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High School. I'm a Senior. After the Homecoming Parade, I had to change out of a huge antebellum "Southern Belle" dress in one of the school's bathrooms. It was around 5pm...I'd changed into the dress in a particular stall before the parade and left my clothes there. My bff at the time, Melanie, stood outside the door where I handed her the humongous dress--and off she went to the parking lot to wait for me. She no sooner left than I discovered that my clothes were gone. Stolen.
I stood in the bathroom for a few panicked moments. What were my options? First, I yelled for Melanie. Too late, she was long gone. Hmmm. I peeked down the hall. I was in C hall...my locker, that had a coat in it, was in F hall...could I run to my locker, open it, and get my coat on without being seen in just my bra and panties?

Yes. Yes I could.

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Nine Years Old. Florida. My cousins decided we would all make our own bikini tops with lava lava's before heading to the beach. My top consisted of two tiny triangles of fabric, handsewn with little strips of fabric holding it all together and onto my skinny stick-figure body.
We're walking down the street, when two older boys on 10-speeds ride toward us. One of them is smiling at me...in my 9 yo head, I'm thinkin', "wow, he must think I'm cute!" So I nudge my cousin, who takes one look at me and screams, "Where's your top??!!"
It blew right off my body without a hint. Never did find it.

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C'mon stuff like this happens to you, right?