Warning: I'm cranky

I'm cranky today.
I want to quit.
I'm worn down by life's "stuff".
If I had a hole to crawl into
I would.

It's not the kids.
It's not Mr W.
It's every. stinkin'. thing.

And I don't want to write it all down.
That's more work.
I've done all I can and still feel empty.
This is my version
of a terrible horrible no good very bad day.

Somedays are lots harder than others.
And I try to remind myself
that we have it better
than alot of other folks.
At least Mr W has a job, right?
At least we have our health.
At least we have what we have.
That's what I try to remember.

But there's a lump in my throat
and wells full of tears
behind my eyes.
And the stuff I'm dealing with
makes me overwhelmed
and fearful
of things I cannot control.

I hate that stuff.
those feelings.
I'm better than that.
I can do hard things.
I know that.
But these are new hard things.
I'm holding my breath
hoping things work out
like they always do.

But sometimes
things work out slowly
and painfully.
It's the pain part that scares me.
I hate that part.

So this is my blog.
And I'm leaving these feelings here
while I go do dishes or lay down
by Joseph who has skinned up knees and elbows
from tripping on the pavement today.

That will make me feel better
right now.