Just Say No

This rotten cold is in my head
and has been keeping me close to home.

In an effort to get over it,
I've done all I can think of
taken all I can
to nix this germ to death
and still
I'm stuffy.

In desperation,
I rummaged thru a medicine box
and found a lone
Aleve Sinus and Cold pill--
ah HA! relief came quickly
so the next day
I had Nannette go buy
a whole box for me.

These are the kind of pills
that you have to sign your life
away for at the Pharmacy counter:
your name,
Driver's License,
next of kin,
favorite TV show
and color of your toothbrush.

Nannette,
what IS the color of your toothbrush?

So that was Wednesday.
Have you noticed I've posted alot of
blogs this week?
There's a good reason for that.
I haven't slept since Wednesday
on account of the SPEED
in the drugs I've been taken!
I went to bed at 6:30 this morning.

Around 2:30am the Midwife called--
I was already AWAKE
but too sick to go to a birth, dang it!
Cuz who wants a coughing wheezing fool
in the room when a baby's on the way?
Noone, that's who.
So I had to stay home.
After the call,
Mr Wonderful poked his head out of our room
to find me sitting in the loft office
plucking away on the PC.

"why am I still awake?" I asked him.
"Its the psuedoephedrine in the meds you're taking."
"The what?" I asked.
"Speed. That's why you have to get it from the pharmacist.
It's what drug dealers make Meth out of."
"Wait. Why would drug addicts want to be up all night with clear sinuses?"

The first couple of hours were fine.
I checked the profiles of all of my facebook friends--
even those I don't really care about.
That's also when I plucked out the 50 things your Mama never told you,
and about 4 other blog posts that,
in the light of day,
I have saved as a draft.

I read all the Entertainment News online--
did you know that "experts" are waging in
on how long Khloe Kardashian and her new husband
will stay married?
And then I read obscure news reports like
the one about the pregnant beluga whate that
washed up on shore in Alaska--and
there's only 321 beluga whales left on the
whole stinkin planet!
Did you know that?

I read more blogs than I ever have...
even left comments on bloggers'
from Germany ( I can't read German),
from Italy ( I can't read Italian)
from Brazil ( not fluent in Portugese either, but I liked their pictures!)
and I even got an email from one blogger
in German
thanking me
in broken english.
no kiddin.

That was in the first couple of hours.
By 3:30am I was on HULU--
thank goodness for that!
I watched 3 hours of
Dancing with the Stars.
All the episodes I missed
without commercial breaks.

And then, the drug finallywore off
and I climbed into bed
at 6:30am. and I was OUT.

I will never ever take
a drug that makes me stay
up all night long.
I don't care how stuffy
my sinuses are...
I'll Just Say No.

Now you know
why I could never be a
Drug Addict.