MOMZA'S HOUSE: Eat, Pray, Love...an Avatar Experience

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Eat, Pray, Love...an Avatar Experience

I'm not a huge movie-goer.
I think the last one I went to was
uh
uh
hmmmm
oh yeah,
"Diary of a Wimpy Kid".

That's not to say
I don't enjoy movies,
but rather,
I wait until they're on DVD
at Red Box to see 'em.

But there's this movie out
and it has my full attention.
fully.
Eat, Pray, Love.
I wanted to see it
even before I knew Julia Roberts
was in it.
I know, right?
And now that she's in it,
well, that made the decision for me--
I WILL see this movie
in the theater--
and I will spend twenty-six dollars for
popcorn and a Pepsi.

The whole idea that a woman
truly dropped everything
for HERSELF--
must touch a place in the rest of the
female population
like it does me--
in my head
I am yearning and screaming:
YESSSSSSSSSSS Oh YESSSSSSSS!!!
To go and do and be--
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!!-- a thousand times yes!

There is this wonderment inside
that speaks curiously,
how come I never thought of that?--
followed by
dang it.

So I will live vicariously for two hours--
free of dishes,
free of carpools,
free of leftovers in the fridge that have turned
all squishy and brown,
free of my referee duties with the yahoos
free of the six cheetos in the back of my suburban
that have been there for two weeks...
and I will travel to exotic places,
and fall in love with life again
with Julia Roberts as my Avatar.
I will suck the nectar out of life
and then...

and then!--
the reality of MY Choices
will slap me upside the head
bringing me back to my body,
sounding something like a
Homer Simpson alarm clock--
DOH! DOH! DOH!--
and I'll check the backseat for those
six cheetos to be sure I'm really back
in my own body...
dang it.

I want to invite every woman I know
to go with me...
so we can all enjoy the fantasy together
and at the end of it share our camaraderie
with
"That looks nice and all,
but I'm going home to a house full of my people
who love me n' that's what really counts, right?
Right?"

What about You?
Are you In?
Are you going to see it?
Have you read the book?
I haven't--everytime I read "the book" before seeing the movie,
it messes with my head...ya know, parts are missing or rewritten to my dismay.
So I'm going with a totally clean slate.
If you live in the Springs, let me know!

10 comments:

TisforTonyaAugust 4, 2010 at 8:02 AM
we have a down and dirty rule in our house that any movie made from a book requires that the book be read first.

I read this book a long time ago after all the initial hype...

I shouldn't tell you how much I hated it. Really truly hated it. Yes, it was well written. Yes, it is a nice premise. Hmmm... the part I hated will mess up your enjoyment of the movie... I'll tell you later. Maybe in the movie they'll turn it into a better life lesson than it was in the book?
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Loui♥August 4, 2010 at 8:11 AM
WOW!!!
I am a Julia fan..
this may just be her very best!!
Yep.. gonna go!
have a beautiful day!!
hugs..
Loui♥
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MomzaAugust 4, 2010 at 8:23 AM
@T: Dear T--if this movie is going to crush my Avatar experience, tell me NOW! lol
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RBSAugust 4, 2010 at 8:33 AM
Wow T...for someone that didn't want to tell her, you certainly told her, whew. And as for you Momza, you go, and see, and do, and then form your own opinion. I don't live in the Springs but I will be there next week for a few days on business. I will try to get a minute to call and chat. And I will see this movie at the 3 dollar place where no refreshments are over 2 dollars but not with Mr Darcy, looks like too much of a chic flick for him.

Roxanne
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NancyAugust 28, 2010 at 2:40 PM
I wish you lived in Indiana. You could go with me and my friends tonight. I can't wait for a girl night!
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SallyAugust 29, 2010 at 9:47 AM
I read the book with my book club. Hated it. I was so disturbed that a woman could wake up in the middle of the night and decide that she was done. I was bothered that she could just pick up and leave her life and her family behind. While I think all moms are better off if they squish in some time to decompress. My family, soccer, swim, homework, friends included, are my who I am. I am proud of them and my "me" time is enhanced by cheering them on. (Not that I don't threaten the person who dares yell through the door when I am taking a bubble bath).
Julia Roberts is wonderful. She does tempt me. But, I'm not going to fund a movie that made me feel so terrible when I read the book. Now Beezus and Ramona? I might go again :) Have a great day!
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alpinekleinsAugust 30, 2010 at 12:51 AM
Talked me into it - I'm going to gather the girls . . . let me know what you think in hindsight.

Kristin
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CBAugust 30, 2010 at 3:39 PM
I didn't read the book. My rule is to usually read the book before I see a movie but I broke that rule - Oh my!
Anyway, I did see the movie and I didn't love it. It wasn't horrible or anything.
I'm not sure I agreed with what was going on in the movie; her thought processes were some how "off" to my reality - it's an interesting concept though.
I hope you enjoy it.
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AlissaAugust 31, 2010 at 12:27 PM
I have to go with T and Sally on this one. Definitely far less than impressed with the book. Sorry!
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MomzaSeptember 1, 2010 at 9:53 AM
I'm going today to see this. Will let you know what I think!
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SAY WHAT?? Board

Ari showed me her math assignment: "Have you seen this before?"

Me: "Um, yeah. Not since I was in school though."

Ari: "OK. So it's a legitimate thing. I just wanted to make sure my teachers weren't lying to me."

Bee: "I thought it was 'Tequila Mockingbird', not "To Kill a Mockingbird."

From the wedding:

Jud's oldest brother: Tell Mom not to come up to see you while on your honeymoon.

Jud: What? She came to see you?

Brother, laughing: Yeah.

Jud to his Mom: "I don't care if I've been mauled by a bear; do NOT come see me."

***

Dani to Isaac: "Tell Gramma 'bye' n; you love her, Isaac."

Isaac: "Bye! Butt-face Gramma!"

****

Boofus to Momza: "I have black hair in my armpits! Just on this one arm though. I WISH I could move some on the other arm!"

Momza: You're ridiculous. {laughing}

Boofus: "I also have hair growing on my chest. Twelve hairs! I counted!"

***

Arianna: "Mom, can I borrow one of your sweaters?"

Momza: "One of my sweaters? Why?"

Arianna: "It's Ugly Sweater Day at school."

Momza to Joseph, as he's getting ready for school:

"Hey, didn't you wear that shirt yesterday?--It's dirty, go put on a clean one."

Joseph: "It's not dirty. SMELL me!"

Momza: "I am not smelling you. It is too dirty--go put on a clean shirt. You're not wearing that to school."

Joseph, chuckling: "Aww...you're ruining my life."

Momza to 10 yr old Primary boy who wouldn't stop leaning back in his chair:

"I think you should know that I get queasy at the sight of blood. If you lean back in your chair and get hurt, after I've told you not to, I'll probably vomit--and if I do, it'll probably get on you."

Ari, after overhearing what I said, whispered, "Mom, you're a doula, you see blood all the time. It doesn't make you sick."

Momza: He doesn't know that.

****

Two little neighborhood boys knocked on the door:

"Is the Master here?"

Daisie: "What? Who?"

Boofus, from upstairs: "I can't play until my room is clean!"

Momza, to Boofus: "They call you 'Master'?"

Boofus: "Yeah, they do everything I say. I'm their Master."

***

Daisie, from the backseat of the car, while Diana is changing up the radio station:

"No country please. You're destroying my brain."

Diana: "You're welcome."

******

Valentines Day Dinner. Boofus to Dad, while eating the chocolate fish I gave him:

"This was the worst Valentine's ever. Mom KISSED me in front of Nathan!" (N. is his best friend who happened to be standing there when I gave B. his chocolate gift.)

Momza at the dinner table: "So, at work today, I was talking to Juan..."

Boofus, interrupts: "Who?"

Momza: "Juan. Juan--he's a young man I work with."

Boofus: "Who? I mean, WHO were you talking to?"

Caboose, chiming in: "The Chinese-Mexican, Wong!"

The Caboose to Momza: "If you won't get me a cellphone, then you can just send me to a foster home."

Momza:"Hold on while I GOOGLE foster homes in Colorado. N' while I do that, you should go ask Daddy if it's ok to send you away."

The Caboose returns: "Daddy said 'No'."

The Caboose to Mom: I can’t wait until I’m 11. “Cuz eleven is next to twelve and twelve is next to thirteen, and thirteen has the word “teen” in it n’ I can’t wait to be a teenager!

Boofus, pinching his fingers together, showing them to me:

"I just pulled a hair out of my NOSE! I AM A MAN!"

Momza: "Pick up your room, then brush your teeth, and don't forget to pack your lunch."

The Caboose: "You sound just like my mother!"

The Caboose: How do you spell "diary"?

Boofus: "D-A-I-R-Y."

Dad: That's dairy. You need to switch the "a" and the "i".

Caboose: I'm writing in pen here, people.

Dani to Boofus:

"You need to wash your hands before you touch the baby."

Boofus: "I did. I licked them twice."

Diana, who has just spent 45 minutes with Daisie, who'd been chewed out by Momza earlier:

"OH. MY. GOSH. MOM! How do you stand it? She drives me crazy! She acts like she's the only one whose ever been almost 15 years old! She made me so angry! All of her freaking whining! How do you stand it?! --Wait?--Is that what I sound like to you? Ohhhh Mommmm, (laying her head on my shoulder), I AM SO SORRY!!!"

Dad to Boofus, who asked him to do something he didn't want to do:

"What? Do you have a piano tied to your butt?"

Boofus: "Yes, it's small but very heavy."

Boofus, who was pestering the Caboose:

"You're nuthin' but a penny-loafin' Democrat."

Dara to Bee, after she threatened to tell on her for something:

"You think I care if you tell Dad on me? I get in trouble on a daily basis."

Joseph to Momza:

"What do you mean when you say 'think about the words you say'? I never think about what I'm saying."

Walking thru Walmart, the Caboose says:

"Mom, what's Pole dancing?"

"Ask your Dad."

Ari to Momza after seeing a personalized ornament with Joseph's name on it:

"Why does Joe get one and I don't?"

Momza: "Because there wasn't one with your name on it."

Ari: "Ugh. Why couldn't you name me Samantha, Rachel or somebody?"

Ari: Mommmm! Joseph is making me mad!

Momza: He's pushin' your buttons?

Ari: I don't have any buttons. I don't collect buttons.

Joseph to the dog: "C'mon girl--shake what your momma gave you!"

The Caboose, while I am fixing her hair for school:

"I don't want my ponytails braided."

Momza: "Why not?"

"Because it shows my inner beauty."

The Caboose: "I don't like my middle name. It's embarassing, it's not cool. It makes me awkward."

Momza: "Really? Hmmm, well what name do you like?"

The Caboose: "Something cool, like 'Madeline'."

Momza: "Okay you can change your name. What would you like to be called?'

The Caboose: "Arianna Madeline Hope A."

Momza: "Done!"

Momza to Boofus, after he'd spilled some hot cocoa on the counter:

"Hey, what do you do when you accidentally make a mess?"

Boofus: "You lie. And blame it on the dog."

Boofus: "Mom! Ari's bleeding!"

"Where?"

Boofus, pointing: "Over there."

"No, where on her body is she bleeding?"

Boofus: "Oh, on her knee."

Diana's heading downstairs, as the kids are leaving for school:

"Bye Bee, have a great day!"

"Wait! Where am I going?"

Diana, laughing, "You're not going anywhere right now,

I'm going down to take a shower and I won't see you before you leave for school!"

Bee: "Oh yeah."

Diana, after reading the headline, "Gaining Weight is All in Your Head"--

"Of course it's all in your head, that's where your mouth is."

At dinner, Momza to Boofus:

"Okay, when we get home, you need to take a bath."

"I don't wanna take a bath. You sit in your own FILTH!"

Driving in the car:

Dad: why do girls always have to change the radio?"

Bee: "Because we have the Authority. Boys just run red lights and drink beer."

Boofus to the Caboose, when she asked him to bring her more water to the table:

"You're Not Roll-a-tee...get it yourself."

Momza to kids, arguing in backseat on way to school:

"It's a good thing you guys are going to school today, otherwise I'd have to sell you on Ebay or to the Circus.

The Caboose: "What? You're going to get rid of me?"

Momza: "Well, you guys could swing on the trapeze, feed the lions..."

The Caboose: " You know I'm afaid of heights! and lions!"

Boofus, at the sink, rinsing dishes, discovers the water to be too hot. He decides to blame Dad who used the water last.

"Dad! It's your fault!"

"No, it's not-- you're running the water. That's your responsibility. It's your fault--just like the war in Iraq. It's because of your failed policies!"

"HA! YOU'RE the reason we went to War!"

(All this while Pres. Obama's speech is on in the background)

13 yo Daisie to Mom in car:

"Ohhh the boy I like asked another girl out today. Her name is Suzie."

"SuzieQ, hunh?"

"I don't know her last name."

"Do you love me?"

"I've never wanted to hit you. But someday I might."

"Gee, thanks."

"No problem, Babyhead."

Boofus: "I'm never dating. And I'm not gettin' married.Women are nothin' but trouble. And they squeeze your pressure points!"

Mr. W., laughing: "Yeah they sure do know how to squeeze your pressure points, Boof."

Caboose, yelling: "Mom, Joseph hit me!"

Momza: "Joseph, keep your hands to yourself."

Boofus: "I used a spoon. It was a spoon."

Momza: "Keep your hands to yourself."

Boofus: "It wasn't my hands! It was a S-P-O-O-N!"

Momza: "Well you and your spoon are about to get timed out in your bedroom."

Mr. W: "I would like to bear my testimony. I have a testimony of bears. They're true."

Momza: "Did you eat breakfast yet?"

Boofus: "No, there's nothin' good."

Momza:"Well, there's cereal, a bagel, fruit...I could make you some eggs?"

Boofus: "None of that sounds good."

Momza:' Well, if you could have anything you wanted, what would it be?"

Boofus: "I dunno."

Daisie: "The Best of EFY is this weekend! Can I go?"

Momza: "Sure--wait, you're not 14 yet. I dunno."

Daisie: "I'll be 14 in [x-amount] of Days!"

Br. Malley, our HT pipes in, to her: "Shhhh...just go and don't say anything." to me:"But probably not the dance later."

Momza:"Oh right--okay, Daise, you can go for the talks but not the dance."

Daisie: "Nevermind."

The Caboose, as we're on the elevator in the Doc's ofc:

"When they look at your throat, do they have to cut it open?"

Momza:"What??--of course not! Where'd you come up with that?"

" I dunno. "

It was then I realized, the Caboose hasn't ever been sick enough to go to a medical doctor. Bless her heart.

Ari talking to Dani on the phone about caring for the new dog:

"I'll be in charge of walking him, because you know how I feel about picking up poop. YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT!"

Boofus insisted he pick out his own shirt for school...comes to me and says, "Someone took off all the buttons on this shirt!"

I flipped the placket over to reveal otherwise.

"Whew!" no button thieves in our house!"

Its lunch time, what does everyone feel like throwing up?

A sleep-deprived Momza to Mr W:

"you better take it easy and get some rest today, cuz you're headed for a ..uh..a collap-sa-tion."

"Ari, you sure want a peice of pie? You're just gonna throw it up in a bit."

"I don't care."

::::sittin' around the table, we're talking about which temples the girls would like to be married in someday::::

Nana: "Portland."

Daisie: "Mesa, definitely."

Boofus, who'd been quiet thru most of the convo:"Well, if I ever decide to like

girls--and I don't now cause I hate them, and they're jerks!! --[his finger pointing to his sisters]--I want to

go to the Hawaii temple."

Boofus: "Mom, when you weren't here, Dad said the "S-word. He's a cusser."

Dad, sheepishly: “No, I don’t think so.”

Boofus: “ Yeah he did. Mom tell him.”

Boofus to Dad: You can hit me as hard you want for ten bucks.

Dad: Can I draw blood?

Boofus: It’s fifteen for blood.

Dad: How about a ping with a baseball bat, how much then?

Boofus: Twenty-two fifty.