Random-awesity: Bald headed, non-budgering, talking belly-buttons, and goats

Random: 
without pattern: done, chosen, or occuring 
without an identifiable 
pattern, plan, system, or connection.

The Boofus accused me of wanting to make him bald this morning,

on account of my suggestion that he needs a haircut.

And I quote:

"You just want me to be bald!!"

Yes, yes I do. That is my ultimate goal right there. Spot on.

I want my 5th grader's noggin to shine like a bowling ball.

I was accused of being a "Non-budger" yesterday by the new 16 year old

when she asked if her BFF could come over after church to

"work on personal progress and seminary make-up"--

which, to the unknowing, would sound almost ethereal

or other-worldly--heavenly, almost--

but to the experienced ears on the sides of my head

sounded alot like "hanging out".

When I responded 12 times with the word "NO",

I was labelled a "Non-budger", followed with a 

"Nobody likes a Non-budger, Mom."

Add that to list and take a number, Sister.

Sundays are for family. 

Unless you're in a leadership position,

then Sundays are for meetings.

What about me says I'm a novice here?

IN news related to the sad-sack body I am currently sporting,

blood tests revealed that my blood is poor in iron--

whereas iron is charted in the ranges of 15 to 55,

my score is a 7.

Seven.

So I'm downing little red iron pills,

mushy prunes {shudder}

and adding fresh spinach to everything I can think of

to transform my ghetto-poor iron into Fort Knox of Iron.

No wonder I've been so stinkin' tired.

Seriously, check your iron levels once in awhile--

like as often as you check the air in your tires

or the bars on your cellphone service.

The Caboose lifted her t-shirt yesterday

to reveal an eyeball drawn in blue ink

just above her bellybutton,

and using her best ventriloquism talents

made her bellybutton sing 

"I like to move it, move it"
and
"oink" like a pig

then proclaimed it is

"completely normal."

I'm thinking of sending an audition tape to

"America's Got Talent"...

for purely blackmail purposes when she

turns sixteen.

Okay lastly,

did you hear about this 

April Fool's prank?

At a high school in Montana, 
a group of students played a prank--
they let three goats loose in the school.
But, before turning them loose, 
they painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 
1,2, and 4.  

School administrators spent most of the day 
looking for number 3.

I'd be so proud if I were their mom. totally.