Patience in the Process

The night sky is filled with streaks of lightening across my part of the Rockies
tonight.
Rain is falling in buckets--
covering my 6 foot picture window like a sheet of water.
I am home from Texas,
where they are suffering from a historical drought.

Danielle didn't have her baby while I was there.
Try as we did,
the timing was just off
and that's just the way it goes sometimes,
ya know?
We plan and prepare,
but things just don't work out.
So we said our good-byes at the Houston Hobby Airport
today,
our hearts as heavy as the one hundred percent humidity
that hung in the air...
smiling our best smiles
until we couldn't see each other
sucking back the tears
for quieter places.

Her due date came and went,
some nights her contraction waves
were so strong and timely
we both thought
"ahhh this is it!"
but those waves turned into ripples
n' then they were gone.

She has another doctor's appointment on Monday.
They'll talk about inducing labor...
and I felt that if I extended my stay with another departure date,
it might pressure Danielle into making a decision
she didn't want to make.
So I removed my self from that situation
giving her room to make the decision in her own
time frame.
Because this is her birth experience
and it should be on her timeline and noone else's.
And just to put it out there--
I didn't want to leave my girly girl without a doula
in labor,
so this was an emotional decision all the way around.

As I was packing this morning,
I called Mr W and asked for his counsel--
should I stay
or
should I go?
He said he'd support me in whatever choice I made.
Dontcha hate that? lol
I wanted him to tell me what to do so I wouldn't have to think about it.
Feel it.

But I truly believe every woman has the birth she needs...
and it must've been written in the stars somewhere
that I wouldn't be at this birth
long before I knew it.
So I trust in faith,
that whatever happens,
however it goes,
will be a blessing for everyone
all the way around.

Before I left for the airport,
Dani, Mr. Idaho, baby G and I offer a prayer...
I asked if I could say it...
my heart was heavy and I needed to unburden my heart
and give my cares to my Heavenly Father.
We folded our arms and bowed our heads
and the words came so easily
pleading for protection and safety and ease of labor and delivery.
I asked for all that I could
and as I sit here,
I tell my self that that has to be
enough.

Bets are on around here
that she'll go into labor tonight
or tomorrow night.
But the truth is,
we have no idea when this baby boy is gonna
make his debut.

On a bright note,
I got to bring Baby G home with me,
and we're loving on him like nobody's business!
Dani has called several times to make sure
he's doing okay--
which he totally is!

And he'll stay with us until
Dani and Mr. Idaho return to
Colorado
once their baby boy has arrived
and it's safe to travel.


I can be patient in the process.

I can be patient in the process.

I can be patient in the process.

I can.

I will.