Defining Mother-hood-ness

Every morning of every day,
I make two calls...
to Nana on her side of the Rockies,
to Dani up in Golden.

We might play phone tag
before we get through,
but eventually,
we get through.

This morning was no different.
I called Nana,
no answer.
I dialed Dani,
whose voice on the other end
was
strained
tired
sick.
"How ya doin', Sis?" I ask.
She relates that her crummy sinus infection
is clinging on for the eleventh day,
and not only that,
but the Golden child has a snotty nose,
and isn't sleeping well,
AND
the 3 week-old Isaac is now sick too
and from what she can remember,
she thinks she's had about 3 hours of sleep
in the past 24 hours.

I ask her
-what kind of medicines she's taking for herself
and what, if anything she is able to give her babies?
-has anyone brought a meal in recently?
-does she want to come down to the Springs today and stay for a couple of days,
so I can care for the babies while she rests.

She says she's able to take Sudafed,
and the doctor gave a Rx for Garrett's ear infection,
but nothing can be given to baby Isaac.
Noone's brought in dinner...which doesn't surprise me
because they're in a Student ward.
And she would love to come down,
but doesn't think she could make the hour-long drive
by herself.

We finished chatting,
then I had to go run a kid to school or something
so I said my "goodbye" and "love you's"
and just as I hung up,
heard what I can only describe as complete mommy-misery
in my girl's voice as she said good-bye to me too.

I walked to the fridge to get a glass of milk,
with Dani's voice ringing in my ears,
and before I could even get a cup out of the cabinet,
I made the decision to run up to Golden.
At first, I wasn't going to call her--
I thought I'd surprise her
BUT then, something told me to call her
and let her know
I was on my way.
She didn't answer, so I left a message.

I jumped into the shower after making that call,
and mentally made notes of what I wanted to bring
to her and the boys--
once I was dressed,
I gathered things from my fridge and pantry
like
chicken nuggets and mac n' cheese for Garrett,
some leftover chicken salad and sandwich thins
for Dani and I to have for lunch,
some scented baby lotion for colds for the boys,
a gatorade for her,
and a coke for my breakfast.
Then, just as I was ready to leave,
I called her back--
"Hey" I said "I'm on my way up there."
"Really?" her voice shook.
"Yup, I'll be there in a bit."
"Thank you so much, Mom."

I lightly knocked on her door
in case her little ones were sleeping.
As she opened the door,
her very tired face lit up in appreciation.
Baby Isaac lay in her arms,
with only a diaper on--
" I just made an appointment with his doctor." she informed.
"He has a fever and congestion."
I opened my arms to him
and enfolded his little body close to mine.
Within seconds, he settles in
and relaxes into a deep sleep
before I've been there 10 minutes.
Dani says I've got "the Granma Touch".
I just smile at the sweet boy in my arms.

She unpacks the bag I brought in with me,
and Garrett's face beams a toothy grin
when I ask if he'd like some chicken nuggets.
He does an enthusiastic dance of delightful anticipation.

Dani made her self something to eat
while Garrett dipped his nuggets in ketchup
with both hands.
I listen as she describes the past few days
of snotty noses,
coughing fits,
mucousy-vomit,
changing clothes and bed linens,
and little sleep.

I remember those young mothering days of my own--
they were so hard for me.
Lack of sleep makes any day harder,
add to that sickness and babies
and those days feel more like nightmares.
I didn't have a mother that would come over
and relieve me for an hour or two
so I could sleep.
It just wasn't my reality.
Maybe that's why my mother-heart responds
so quickly for my own daughter.
I know how hard it was and how I craved relief
in the form of a mother.

After lunch,
I kissed his noggin and put Garrett down for a nap.
Dani and I visited a little more
while I unloaded & loaded her dishwasher,
put away the food
and picked up the toys--
all the while she is saying
"Oh Mom, you don't have to do that."
-- about 16 times.

She decided that she didn't need to come to the Springs with me.
Maybe she'll come tomorrow.
Just having me up to visit was good for her.
It was enough.

It was time for me to leave,
as I had carpool in the afternoon,
so I loved on her n' told her I'd call later.

That's what Mothers do.
We call and check on our kids.
We sometimes drop whatever it is we're doing,
and we go hold babies,
or bring food in,
or unload a dishwasher.
Because being a Mother has no deadline.
Once a Mother, Always a Mother.
Right?

It's after 11pm here,
and just as I was writing my first lines,
the phone rang...
it was Dani.
She and Brad are at the ER with Baby Isaac.
"Can I come up there?" I ask.
"Do you need me?"
"Will you call me in a bit once you know if the baby is going to be staying the night?"
"I'll come and sit in the hospital with you."
"I can go to the apartment and relieve your friend who is caring for Garrett."

She says they've been at the ER for a couple of hours already,
and they didn't want to call me,
because they knew I'd want to come up
and help--because that's what I do.
But they're okay and if they end up staying overnight,
then yes,
they'd appreciate it if I could come up.

So it's 11:25pm and my night will be long
until I hear that our little baby is fine.
Because that's what Granmothers and Mothers do.
We just do.