Security.
I do not come from "money".
Though my father made good money,
my parents inability to manage it
was lacking,
compounded by their addictions/vices
money came and went as though it were
inside a revolving door.
Money was spent emotionally.
We often went without electricity and water.
Even having a phone was sketchy.
Bread was an option,
cigarettes were not.
Notebook paper was a luxury,
that I learned not to waste.
I was speaking to
a younger brother about our childhoods
and asked him what he remembered most--
he answered that what he remembers most
is always being hungry.
Because of that childhood,
I determined I would change my
journey
by choices I would make in the future
when it was
my turn to make decisions.
I wanted Security.
I married someone who was ambitious
and wanted to have a professional education.
I would not have settled for less than that.
He went thru the rigors of Chiropractic college
and I supported that choice 110%.
It was hard,
but in the end,
promised me a Life of Security.
Just 3 years after graduating college
though,
the marriage hit the breaking point.
He didn't want the responsibility of
a wife and five children
so we let him (and his earning potential) go.
My idea of Security,
I came to find out was skewed.
Financial Security
was not the Be-all, End-All
of Life.
There were more important things--
Trust and Respect for starters,
it turned out
trumped
Financial Security.
I was as surprised as anyone to find that out.
So I was a single mom with five children
ages 14-2 years old
and Zero Security.
Then, I met Mr. Wonderful.
He'd gotten an average education,
BUT had worked 19 years for the
largest company in the world,
General Motors.
That was a sign of stability to me.
He says he knew when we met,
that his life would be happier
with me in it.
He tells the kids the reason he married me
is because I'm a "good kisser".
Their faces turn inside out with disgust
and
"Aww, yuck! Don't go there!"
But it makes me smile.
He quit his 19 year job,
for us.
His next assignment was overseas
and the absent-father would not allow
me to take the 5 kids and leave US soil.
So Mr W quit his job.
In fifteen years,
he has not found a single job
that equated to the one he'd had when we met.
To say it has been frustrating, humbling,
and financially disruptive
is an understatement.
It has been crazy hard.
Our town, as much as I love it,
is connected by military strings--
it's all "who you know" around here
if you want to have a high-paying job.
Mr W designed the turret on the
very tank
that liberated Kuwait in Operation D*sert Storm.
He was in Defense Contracting for almost two decades.
He helped secure a country
and he can't get in the front door to any DD here
in this military town.
Crazy, hunh?
Mr W has travelled the world--
played golf at St. Andrews, Dubai,
strolled the cobblestoned streets of Capri, Italy,
gone boating in the Mediterranean
around Greece,
skied across mountaintops I've never seen,
and eaten in places like Berlin & Amsterdam.
When I met him, he used to live in an
exclusive area known as"The Park"
in Nottingham, UK and drive a Cadillac Catera.
The "fluff" he used to have as a single man,
is nowhere to be seen since 1998.
He'll see something that reminds him of those places
and remark about it casually,
not to brag,
but to share.
His life changed when he
hitched his wagon to mine.
Our Trips are local,
so is the cuisine in my kitchen.
He drives a tin can and
I drive a 10 year old gas guzzling beast.
He hasn't skied in a decade or
gone golfing since 2003 or thereabouts.
He gave up his tranquil days of Security
for the life of a busy father of 7.
But,
when he walks in the door at night,
my world is secure.
He comes home to us
every single night.
He has no other plans than to be home.
He calls the house when he has left work,
to give us a heads-up that he's on his way.
(And that's when I offer a silent prayer
that he'll travel safely
the 75 miles that is between work and home.)
Once he gets close,
he'll call again...
sometimes he'll call my cell,
others just the house.
And seriously,
the kids and I keep an eye out for his car
to pull up in the driveway,
n' we basically knock each other down
to see who gets the first hug from him!
There is a great victory celebration
by the winner.
It's ridiculous, I know.
I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Then,
he joins me in the kitchen to help with dinner.
We catch-up on the day and whatever else is going on
in the evening.
And so goes our days.
He has taught the kids how to tie knots
for mountaineering,
as well as
knot-tying for flyfishing,
n' how to hike and camp.
He's shown Joseph how to
install a dishwasher,
change a tire,
install brakes on a Suburban,
mend a fence,
clean and shoot a gun,
collect fast offerings,
tie a suit tie,
give an apology
and
at bedtime, every night,
he goes to the youngest kids' bedrooms
and says prayers with them.
I used to measure my happiness
by the financial security
of others.
As if it is a contest,
that the person with the most "stuff" wins
some awesome prize at the judgement seat.
Isn't that the stupidest thing a person could do?
My friends have been blessed
with an abundance of goods and time and money
and they live large--
their homes,
their trips and vacations here and there,
their ability to fund their kids' hobbies and lives,
it is something to behold, for sure.
But comparison is the thief of joy.
And I've discovered that
it's a waste of time and energy
to do that.
To compare across the board
my life to theirs is just the stupidest,
most ungrateful thing I could do.
I have enough for the life that is mine.
And if I focus on just that truth alone,
I am content.
Gloriously, emotionally, spiritually
Secure.
My kids may drive me to my knees
as they drive me crazy.
I may stew over juggling bills from time to time,
or fret that I haven't gotten a new Sunday dress
in recent memory.
But, when the day is done,
and I'm alone with my thoughts,
I realize the truth of my life:
I have a husband that loves me.
Sacrifices all that he has for our family.
My children, the very ones that drive me to my knees,
eventually become jewels in my crown
as they own their lives and follow Christ.
And that's enough.
It is in recognizing these truths
that gives me all the Security
I could ever dream of.
