Helping Those who are facing Unemployment

A man willing to work, and unable to find work,

is perhaps the saddest sight that fortune's

inequality exhibits under the sun. --Thomas Carlyle

Our good friends and family know what we went thru from July 07-July 08 as we endured unemployment. I am grateful to say that is no longer the case. But just this week, I have seen and heard about alot of others who are going thru the same thing with their families.

It is with concern and humility I offer these suggestions to those of you who are not experiencing unemployment but want to help those that are:

*If you have a friend who is unemployed, or a friend whose spouse is unemployed, encourage them to talk about it. Networking is an important step in finding work.

* Don't let your friend give up hope. Encourage him or her to continue sending out resumes, even when feeling depressed or discouraged. To give up is to lose out.

* Tell your friend it's okay to take a cut in pay. It's better than remaining unemployed.

*Be sensitive to lack of finances. Don't invite the person to participate in things that cost money.

*Bring in dinner for the family & arrange to have others do the same.

*If the person talks about needing clothes for this or that, offer the use of yours or your children's or ask if they are okay with hand-me-downs (in great condition). This is sensitive; wait until you see a real need, and be respectful.

* Offer to run errands, take kids to school, pick up groceries, etc. to conserve gas.

* Keep an eye out for bargains, whether at the grocery store or even clip coupons to share with your friend.

* If you notice their kids being left out of things that cost money (field trips, sports activites, etc.) offer to pay their way if you can afford to. When you do this, it is better to talk to the coach or director or teacher and have him tell the family that there is no cost for their child. Often the family is too proud to accept money from others.

-from "The Kindness Handbook" by Jeri-Lyn Johnson

And now from my point of veiw, having been there not too long ago:

*Encourage the person and their spouse if there is one, to meet with their Bishop and Relief Society President, to receive much-needed reassurance that they are not alone in this trial.

*Check up on the person at their home, to make sure the person is able to take care of daily duties such as cooking and cleaning. It is normal to grieve over the loss of a job, and to want to pull inward, but too much isolation leads to a skewed perspective, which fuels depression.

*Pray for the person and their family, and let them know they are in your prayers. I cannot express my gratitude for our dear friends and family who offered prayers on our behalf.

*Invite the person to lunch. Keep them involved in social things so they don't lose their social connections.

*Remind them that this trial will end, and while they do not have control over WHEN it will end, they DO have control over how they endure this trial and to keep the "finish-line" in mind while going thru this challenge.

*If they have children, remind them that this too, is a teaching opportunity for them and their children. We need to show our children how to endure trials and challenges in this life--we do not crumble into hopelessness.

We do not withdraw from family and friends.

We do not let go of our faith.

We do not project our fears onto our children.

We DO show them we are trying our best to get through this time of uncertainty by leaning into our faith--going to our meetings, having family prayer, seeking Priesthood blessings, being patient with one another and never never pointing fingers at one another or seek to place blame.

We do seek opportunities for employment with an Optimistic attitude and a focused effort.

We talk about the future in positive terms.

We get on our knees and teach our children how to express gratitude for all of our blessings before we plead for the blessing of Work.

I hope that these suggestions help someone else. My motivation to "show my best" at the time was for the benefit for my family. I wanted them to come out of this trial stronger than when we went into it. I can say, with great appreciation and profound gratitude, that we have.

On the street I saw a small girl, cold and shivering

in a thin dress, with little hope of a decent meal. I

became angry and said to God, "Why did you permit this?

Why don't you do something about it?"

For a while God said nothing...then he said,

"I certainly did do something about it, I made you."

--Author Unknown

Will You be my Valentine?

I love this person. This wonderful, funny, caring person.






He loves the outdoors. Sleeping under the stars is his idea of a perfect night.



If given the chance, he could walk from coast to coast and enjoy every minute of it. And he is patient with me when I lag behind.
He makes his lunches for work.
He irons his own shirts.
He never leaves a mess for me to clean up.
He reads to our children, and helps with homework.
He did the dishes last night while I went to Enrichment.
I'm keeping him.

He honors his Priesthood.

Every night, he kisses me "good night" and says,

"Can I get you anything? If you need anything, let me know."

And every morning, he kisses my sleepy face good-bye and says

"I love you."

My Valentine,
I pray thou wilt be,
Not for a Day
But for
Eternity.

Hindu Legend...Do You Know Who You Are?

According to an old Hindu legend...
..there was once a time when all human beings were gods, but they so abused their divinity that Brahma, the chief god, decided to take it away from them and hide it where it could never be found.
Where to hide their divinity was the question. So Brahma called a council of the gods to help him decide. "Let's bury it deep in the earth," said the gods.

But Brahma answered, "No, that will not do because humans will dig into the earth and find it." Then the gods said, "Let's sink it in the deepest ocean." But Brahma said, "No, not there, for they will learn to dive into the ocean and will find it." Then the gods said, "Let's take it to the top of the highest mountain and hide it there." But once again Brahma replied, "No, that will not do either, because they will eventually climb every mountain and once again take up their divinity." Then the gods gave up and said, "We do not know where to hide it, because it seems that there is no place on earth or in the sea that human beings will not eventually reach."
Brahma thought for a long time and then said, "Here is what we will do. We will hide their divinity deep in the center of their own being, for humans will never think to look for it there."

All the gods agreed that this was the perfect hiding place, and the deed was done. And since that time humans have been going up and down the earth, digging, diving, climbing, and exploring--searching for something already within themselves.
Author unknown

*one of my most favorite stories.

Forgiving Ourselves ~~Ch.3~~

Receiving The Gift
"For what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he receive not the gift? Behold, he rejoices not in that which is given him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift." D&C 88:33

This Chapter was one that has made a lasting effect on me. Because I have made mistakes, even sins in my life, I have struggled to get past them, allowing the true peace of the Atonement into my life...to permeate my heart. Even after doing all I could to make proper amends, I felt that if I didn't continually apologize for my errors, then I wasn't truly repentant. And because some of mistakes affected others, it seemed appropriate to let them hang it over my head. Afterall, I had hurt them. Even tho I had done all I could to do better and be better, if they wanted to point a finger at me and place blame on me for something in their own lives that was affected by my choices--I felt they had the right to do that. Their accusations would sting my heart, but if that's what they needed to do to forgive me then okay. I counted my pain insignificant to theirs.

I. was. wrong.
That behavior served no good purpose, as is spelled out in this chapter. A few of the passages that confirm this to me:

Self-Forgiveness:
*Shows others what it means to be both a fallen mortal and a faithful believer.
*Sets an example for those we love so they will know they can forgive themselves too.
*People we love can learn about self-forgiveness by seeing us take responsiblity for our errors, make sincere apologies and changes, and then LET GO. They benefit from hearing us say, "I feel so bad about that, and I've done what I can to make it right. Please forgive me."
*When I can find compassion for the wounded, blinded, and disappointing aspects of myself, I can be more empathetic with those same qualities in others. I can better offer others forgiveness and better receive the forgiveness they offer me."
* Self-forgiveness steers us away from depression, anxiety, anger, and resentment, all of which canker relationships.
* Sets us free from our pre-occupations with our weaknesses so we can concentrate on contributing our strengths.

Self-Forgiveness Benefits Us:
*We don't have to be better, stronger, busier, more important, or more self-sacrificing than others in order to compensate for our enormous failures, all the while believing that we can never really succeed at these bigger-than-life things because we have already proven our badness. When we can receive the forgiveness God offers us, it can be enough to allow us to do ordinary things without trying to be superman or superwoman. We can take satisfaction and pleasure in commonplace goodness.

And then the chapter goes on about the difference between Shame and Guilt...and what they can teach us, both negatively and positively.
*Shame is akin to embarrassment...being late to dinner, putting our elbows on the table, burping in public...nothing inherently wrong in our character.
Excessive Shame is a precursor to self-hatred...causes depression, withdrawal from family, friends, and suffocates our true self, making us want to hide.
* Guilt is what responsible people feel when they both know they have done something wrong and believe this wrongdoing does not represent who they truly are or what they truly value. Guilt motivates us to repent--to change, confess, reconcile with those we've hurt, and distance ourselves from our wrong behavior instead of from other people.
* Normal shame can motivate us to be sensitive to others' expectations and not become a law unto ourselves.
*Healthy guilt must be endured if we are to both uphold our own ideals and keep trying when we fall short.

The entire chapter is full of directive inspiration and Hope--something we all need as we live and move thru this life's journey, right? I know. I need Hope every day of every week. And I need to teach my children to be Hopeful, to know the difference between Guilt & Shame, Self-Forgiveness and Repentance...because Satan is a puke. He is indeed the Father of all Lies...his biggest lie is that our Father in Heaven doesn't love us as much as He says He does...that His love is not Open for us all, that is it limited instead of limitless. And thus, Satan, that old liar, pokes at us, and whispers in our ear there is no hope for us...utter hogwash.
Wendy's final thoughts on this Chapter:
I can imagine someone who struggles to really receive God's mercy thinking " Swell, I'm so imperfect that I'm even imperfect at being imperfect. Now I just feel guilty that I continue to feel guilty!" YES-- we are imperfect even at accepting being imperfect. SO this is as good a thing as any to practice not berating ourselves for. Instead we should humbly accept our imperfection as a weakness of the mortal condition that we may struggle with. And even in this God can show us mercy and love. Even this we are given room to grow into. Even in our failure to receive His mercy for our failures, He will gently lead us along, blessing us and those we love."

THE BIG LOVE EXPERIMENT

I'm re-reading a book, "Parenting With Love- making a difference in a Day" by Glenn I. Latham--and from it I am engaging in a new experiment. Glenn shared his documented research in which is stated that there are 4 Basic Principles of Human Behavior:

1 of the 4- Behavior is Largely a Product of its immediate Environment...and "Appropriate Touch"is one of the components that has "healing power and generally beneficial effects on health" and relationships. It can come in many forms: a hug, a pat on the back, a gentle stroking of the arm, even an elbow in the ribs of an adolescent boy by his playful and affectionate father."

He used the example of one of his daughters' who'd made a poster in her room:

"Four Hugs per day for Survival,

Eight Hugs for Maintenance,

and Twelve for Growth."

So that is going to be my experiment. I'm gonna chart it, listing each person in the house, put the poster in the Kitchen, and get the whole family involved in the "BIG LOVE EXPERIMENT", to bring more appreciation and kindness in our home--because who doesn't need that??!

It is Valentines Week afterall...so here we go.

I will share results when/if I see any!

American Idol Disappoints Rant

Ok, so I'm a fan of American Idol...I don't watch every week like I'd like to--that's just not possible in my world. But I have been watching with particular interest, David Osmond. Alan & Suzanne's 4th son...the one who already has a singing career, the one I know from the TREK and JOSEPH cd's....the Osmonds 2nd Generation member that is already a proven professional. At first, I was surprised that he even had to "try-out" for the show! I'm thinkin' common sense would tell the producers that to keep him on would bring in huge numbers every week! But I didn't see him at all last night. I kept looking, hoping to catch just a glimpse of him. Nope. Did I miss something or are they just keeping him on the D-L? So I poked around online and found his MYSPACE page whereon he acknowledged that he had indeed been "cut" from the show because of a surprising-but-acute- case of laryngitis during Hollywood Week. WAHHHHH. FOUL! They booted David Osmond but kept that headband-wearin-girls-pants-wearin'-bawl-baby? You know the one! AND that weirdo Norman guy...another headband-wearin-wingnut! UGH. Pfffft! What in the the world are they[the producers] thinking?? I'm still shaking my head over here. Like Nancy Kerrigan, I ask: Whyyyyy??? Maybe David should have worn a headband or bawled like a little girl?! ya think? And one more thing...the new judge? Who is she and just how did she get a gig on one of the most watched TV-shows in the world? I can think of whole lot of other celebs more talented than this gal. Every week I make Mr W suffer thru the show, he asks me that question,"Who is she?" I shrug my shoulders...I dunno...obviously we missed the week she was introduced to America..and I feel a little ignorant asking about her. But really, I'd like to know...maybe. But then again..

I dont' think I'll even be watching this year...so bleh.

Is ANYONE still in the competition that you're cheering for?? Fill me in!

*Note 2/12/09: Watched the results show last night. Unbelievable that both of those wingnuts are in the Top 36. So many others were much better. Mr W said they kept them on for ratings. ugh. The cry baby makes me want to blip his nose and tell him to grow up and stop wearing his sisters hairbands and clothes!

Bakerella Inspiration, with Betty Crocker's Help!

I love Bakerella and Cakespy. I wish I knew them personally so I could watch them create their little cupcakes and cakepops...but after their last few posts, I was inspired to try to make a RED VELVET cake...Betty Crocker helped. I just love her. Betty is ALWAYS around when I need her...birthdays, class parties, FHE...she's always there. Gee, thanks Betty!

I topped it with homemade Cream Cheese frosting...which, let me just say right here, I could've eaten the entire bowl of it by myself before putting it on the cake. But that would be bad. And a poor example to my kids. So I only licked the spatula when I was finished. I gave the beaters to Mr. W and Boofus.

FHE last night was low-key. There was no song. No game. We just read 2 Nephi 31:3 : "For my soul delighteth in plainness; for after this manner doth the Lord God work among the children of men. For the Lord God giveth light unto the understanding; for he speaketh unto men according to their language, unto their understanding."

Then we opened the discussion and everyone shared what they thought this scripture meant.

First, that God speaks to us in a way we can understand, and His ways are simple. That's important when it comes to making not just good choices, but correct choices. And the other point was how do we know when we've made the correct choice? By the feeling of peace we are given thru the Holy Ghost.

As each child expresses themselves, sometimes they say the same exact thing, and that's okay, they usually say it in their own words, which positively re-inforces the lesson and makes it personal to them. That's how we learn best, when we process outside ideas and translate them into our own.

Anywho, then the prayer and cake. And there was joy and rejoicing! Okay, it was subtle, but it was happy. I'll take that.

"You are Not the Biggest Loser"

This past weekend was a blur. It's not that we were busy--quite the opposite. I was ill and just stayed home from Friday afternoon on. Mr. Wonderful took care of me. He also did the laundry, fed the kids, gave them baths last night, made dinner--and let me sleep and watch more TV than I have in years. I am not a TV watcher. But on FOX yesterday they ran reruns of last years' THE BIGGEST LOSER alllllll dayyyyyy longgggg. I watched a whole season of shows in one day. Since I'd never seen the show before, I didn't know who won...so it was like a first-run for me. I was cheering Julie on the whole time (b/c she reminded me of me) but Bill won the 250k, while his twin brother won 100k! What kept me tuned in was how gracious all of the contestants came across. None of the behavior I've seen on America's Top Model was displayed by these contestants.

There was No weeping, thrashing about, or temper tantrums going on TBL...which proves the old addages:

"It's what's on the Inside that counts"...

"Pretty is as pretty does"...

"Beauty is only skin deep"...

"Never judge a book by its' cover."

After the show I have it in my head that I need to get off my big bloggin' bahooey and move my buns! The results were so astounding, it has inspired me to move it -move it!

Right after my nap.

Who else would I talk to??!

I wasn't going to post today. I haven't felt like I had anything to say, really and I don't like to post just to post. I'm in no contest nor am I up for any blogging awards...so when I post it's usually cuz I have something to say. I am content to read others' blogs on these kind of days.

All of that changed because of two conversations today.

The first happened at lunch. Nan and I met our husbands for lunch today, and then another couple we all know happened to be there at Qdoba and sat with us. Our conversation turned towards our kids' dating habits. I asked J. how her college-aged daughter is doing and if she is dating anyone...(her daughter is just ADORABLE)! J. shook her head and said she has no idea if there's anyone her daughter's dating or even interested in--they just don't talk about it.

I looked at Kent and said we must be weird, cuz my girls talk to me all the time about EVERYONE in their lives! I am not kidding!

So Nana, my 18 yo comes home from school today, finds me kicking back on my bed and sits down to tell me all about her day--she is asked out daily by other HS Senior young men. Daily.

She doesn't date them though, because they're not living the standards she has set for herself. These young men are "popular" by high school standards: athletes, bards, musicians...you name it. But she says she won't even entertain the thought of dating them b/c the one thing they have in common is they also "party". So she sits home. She would rather be alone than "date beneath her standards". Oh and forget about YM in the ward--they haven't figured out yet that it is the "good girls" they want to date. I don't think they figure that out until after Missions, maybe I'm wrong? *('cept for Mr. Idaho's lil bro that Nana dated briefly before we moved here. He set the bar high for her. Thx Ben!)

Then, she talked all about the girls at school and shared what they talk about...boys. This visit lasted a good 30 minutes. I told her about my earlier lunch conversation and she just laughed,"Who else would I talk to?!"

Anywho, I realized today that I am grateful for the relationships I have with my daughters as they date. To have their trust is important to me. I hope I always deserve their trust.

Honest Scrap Tag

So I'm supposed to list 10 honest things about myself here. And "dig deep" if I have to...

*when i first looked at this, I thought it said honest crap...lol..it kinda is.





1. I hate snakes. Yes, I've touched them, held them, and tried to get over my fear of them, but I can't--they freak my guts out.





2. I used to dance in the kitchen with my mother's mop when I was a kid, like a ballroom dancer.





3. I rarely watch television...only when Kent reminds me "Chuck" in on Mondays. I've missed more episodes than I've watched, I think.





4. Idaho, or rather, our experience in Idaho was bittersweet. We wanted so much to go there, knew we were supposed to be there, met some of the most loving people on the planet there--and yet, it impacted our lives in wonderful and sorrowful ways, unlike any place I've ever lived. The sweet was the blessings of 2 wonderful in-laws...Tisha and Mr. Idaho.





5. I'm losing my short-term memory, seriously. I've had MRIs, and Catscans to see what's causing it, but so far, nothing. It used to freak me out when I forgot my address/phone/husband's name, etc.--stuff I should KNOW, but now, I just keep going. I can remember things that happened 40 years ago, but can't remember what I had for dinner most nights. If I ever get a tattoo it will say: "IF FOUND PLEASE RETURN TO KENT--"...with our phone number on it.





6. I love ironing. And weeding the garden. And doing the dishes. It's the best way to have "alone time"--everyone scatters when I do these things. hmmm wonder why??





7. I never saw myself as a Mother of 7 children. That just seemed like an enormous amount of kids to me! It still does sometimes. Seven is alot of anything except M&M's. (I think it has been established that the new mom of Octuplets is looney--she already had 6 kids at home! Where were her good friends to talk her out of this nonsense?? Gimme her phone number--quick!-so I can tell her about what's to come in say, about 13 years! Eight teenagers?? The thought alone brings on an anxiety attack!)





8. I really miss our dogs that we had to give away before we moved...Aspen a golden retriever, and Denver a yellow lab. I don't say it to the kids, but I miss those sweet boys.





9. When I get stressed, I do what I call, "Circling the Wagons"...nobody in, nobody out. I just need time to take stock of things as they are, and have a game plan before I open up again. I don't know if that's healthy stress management or not, but there you have it.





10. I used to be vain when I was younger. Then I had children. And life smacked me upside the head and I haven't been right since!








So here's the rules, as I understand them...you take that little icon up there, post it and list your 10 honest things. So I tag: Joy aka Lori, Laurel, Marilyn, Tori, Sadie, lvs2dance, Roxanne, Wendy, Amy--and whomever else wants to share!

Forgiving Ourselves~~Ch.2~~

Defining Self-Forgiveness.

"Behold ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth. Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me; and none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost." D&C 50:40-42

This chapter defines the significant difference between sin and weakness. Because knowing the difference makes all the difference in how we understand the Atonement and how to live in peace.

My fav passages:

*talking about the Power of the Atonement,Boyd K. Packer 11/95 Gen. Conf:

"Restoring what you cannot restore, healing the wound you cannot heal, fixing that which you broke and cannot fix is the very purpose of the atonement of Christ.

When your desire is firm and you are willing to pay the "uttermost farthing", the law of restitution is suspended. Your obligation is transferred to the Lord. He will settle your accounts.

I repeat, save for the exception of the very few who defect to perdition, there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no apostasy, no crime exempted form the promise of complete forgiveness. This is the promise of the atonement of Christ."

* Excessive self-blame is as problematic as insufficient self-blame because excessive self blame tempts us to give up on ourselves. It reduces us to the lowest common denominator of our most despicable moments.

*We can fail ourselves or others out of either sin or weakness. The distinction between the two is very important b/c sin and weakness have entirely different authors....Satan is the author of Sin...which is described in the scriptures as willful disobedience or rebellion. Weakness can lead to sin, but weakness in itself is not sin. In fact, God is the author of human weakness. We are weak by design, as part of the mortal experience. We are to come to God & prayerfully ask Him to show us our weakness...then humble ourselves and seek God's grace.

*Sin requires us to do an about-face and return to God, while weakness calls for gradual improvement as we learn and grow. We can be weak and still have our heart in the right place with God.

* Forgiveness helps us overcome the effects of sin; grace helps us to do good despite our human weakness.

*God reproves us when we sin but comforts, relieves, and helps us in our weakness.

*We can measure the degree of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance we allow by noticing how we talk to ourselves about our sin and weakness. We can learn to refute or ignore our negative self-talk and increase our genuine empathy and compassion for ourselves.

I enjoyed the whole chapter actually and continue to be amazed at the questions I didn't know I needed to seek the answers to...Sr. Ulrich asked and shares the answers so completely. I am grateful.

Doula Things

I spent the day at the Midwifery clinic, observing and training with my former midwife, Dottie.

I loved every stinkin' second of being there!--the hours passed by like minutes!

She had 5 different clients come in...all different kinds of women--some are having their first baby and others their second or 3rd or fourth...
ALL of them were beautiful!

What is it about a pregnant woman in the room that draws our attention? Or is it just me??

I love the "glow" they have...knowing that there is a little person within them...what a brilliant shadow is cast when they enter a room!
We listened to heart tones, we looked inward through sonograms--we even got to tell 2 families what the sex of their babies are! How cool is that??!! I even guessed right both times! One will be a boy, "Naphtahli" and the other is a girl, "Edria" (her father is Salvadoran)...beautiful names, hunh?
I loved my home births. Unless you've experienced one, it is hard to describe exactly. Perfect.
Peaceful. Natural. Ideal.
As a Doula, Iv'e attended both hospital and home births...both result in a miracle and I must say I am grateful to be wherever there is a miracle...wow--babies are such a nice way to start a person!

What did you love/hate/tolerate when you were pregnant?

Wordful Wednesday: Affection for Others

I appreciate "Chocolate on the Cranium's" prompt today,

"Affection for Others".

However, I am going to take a different spin on it, and share how I feel affection from others. You've probably heard of the Love Languages book series, right? I have found it to be very relevant and helpful in my life, and here's why:





I love my kids. And when they show their love for me, that is when I feel successful as a parent.

My love language is Service.

Last weekend, Daisie was having a moment where she wanted alot of attention. She's 13, and those "moments" have been more often lately. So when I can, I sit down and give her my full-on attention. She started out accusing me of not doing enough for her. I listened quietly, letting her get it all out. Mainly, she was upset that all of her weekend plans had fallen through. She wasn't mad at me, she was dissappointed that her friends are every bit 13 years old as she is--un-organized, un-wealthy, un-independent from their parents. But she was venting, so I listened. When she finally took a breath, her 18 yo sister, who'd been listening too, spoke up:


"SO, Daise--when was the last time you did anything for Mom?"


"Huh?" replied Daisie, "well, I cleaned my room last week, AND I did the dishes!"


Nana: "That doesn't count. That's not for Mom. We all do that stuff. What have you done for Mom that's just for her, that she didn't ask you to do?"


Daisie, with a confused look:" I dunno. She nevers asks...but I always say 'thanks'."


Nana: "Yeah. She's not going to ask. And if you know Mom at all, actions speak louder than words. 'Thanks' don't mean crap to mom." (gee, thanks Nana, that's kinda harsh)





The conversation ended well, without my having to say alot. Nana, my new attorney handled it for me.


I used an example of service from last week;"Remember when you called me from school and you'd forgotten your math book at home? What IF, when you called I'd said, "Ok, thanks for calling."-- and hung up? How would you feel? [she shrugged her shoulders as if to say, 'you would never do that!'] But-- I stopped what I was doing and took your book to you. I did so because that's how I show my love to you." And I used a few other recent examples which were plain enough that she could see her initial accusation wasn't valid.


The light went on in her noggin. By the end, Daisie was softer, realizing it wasn't me she was mad at, she was just really bored and wanted me to fix her boredom, which wasn't my responsibility.


(dontcha love teenagers?no wonder I'm looney!)





Nana has learned my "love language" is Service. Words are fleeting to me. Gifts are something you set aside,mostly. Hugs are great--but Service is where it's at for me.





That's how I show love and how I best receive it. So, to really drive the point home with Daisie--AND to help her in these rotten teenage years--I started quietly doing more for her. Just small things: making her bed, helping with her laundry (my kids do their own at age 10), curling her hair, painting her toenails, listening to her middle school "drama", talking about her personal progress, and just yesterday we all went to watch her audition for the Spring play--even though it was a closed audition--we waited in the hallway for her to come out. She was grateful and I was glad to be there for her. I'm not doing this stuff every day...just one thing a day really. Daisie's "love language" at this point in her life is "GIFTS"--she loves getting stuff..so I have also picked up little things from the store like nail polish, and gum, little markers, and laid them on her bed for her.





In fact, all of my kids have different love languages, so-to-speak, and that requires some conscious attempts on my part to meet them where they are...David Scott is words and gifts,


Dani is words and service, Nana is definitely hugs and words, Boofus, at this point is hugs and gifts, as well as the Caboose. So as a Mom, I get to learn how to speak all those languages and equally try to teach them the language that I respond to best. And their languages are still evolving, so I gotta keep on my toes! It is sometimes challenging, cuz more often than not, I try to show my love to them in the same way I recieve it--which doesn't always work. But, when I remember the ultimate goal here--to show my family love in ways they need to feel it--I do much better.

What about you? What is your "love language"?

*Note: After I posted this, I realized when I wrote "words" what I should've written was "time". just f-y-i.

The Visiting Teaching Movie

I saw this at BYU Women's Conference last year...thanks to Dodee for sending it to me.

It strikes a chord, doesn't it?

Weekend Wonderings

Our Saturday started out just like this...bright blue skies, not a cloud to be seen. And it stayed like that all day long. Have I told you I love Colorado?? The white one in the background is Pikes Peak. I wish I had a camera that could show truly how close we are.

The building to the left is a FED EX building...we wish it would crumble to the ground so our view would be unobstructed.

The Boofus had a sleepover Friday night with a neighbor boy, A. who is not a member of our church. They built a fort out of the blow-up mattress and every blanket they could find.

Because we feed the missionaries every Saturday, I asked A. if he thought he should call his folks and let them know that our missionaries join us for breakfast on Saturdays. A. said most of his friends are "of the Mormon church" and his mom doesn't care. Okay then.

Boof's friend, A. eating a crepe..in his hand...He replied after he'd eaten it, "Wow, that is really good jewish Mormon food."

We held our laughs in as best as we could and let him know that a crepe is not a "mormon food"--it's just regular. ( I could make green jello and carrots/mandarin oranges/grapefruit--but maybe next time, eh?)

Boofus couldn't believe this kid picked up his crepe and ate it like a burrito.

Nana and Taylow...and a brand new greenie, Elder Nevells, from Missouri. He's been in Colorado for less than a week and we love him. BTW, crepes are his fav breakfast--that's why we made them.

Mr. Wonderful and Nana...she's a dork to the highest degree. And, for being a Senior, she is remarkable happy--wonder if it's b/c she has a peice of crepe in her mouth?



*note: see that Air Force Falcons white cup there? Nevermind that Mr W is drinking coke at breakfast--he has had that cup since 2001--it is his preferred cup! Why? I don't know--it could be that it holds 2 cans of pop in it with ice, or that it's just AF, BUT whatever the reason, he has us all believing IT IS the best cup in the house--his pop always tastes best in that cup, no kidding! See how weird we are?

Our missionaries, E. Nevells (Missouri), and E. Gulbrandsen (Eagle, ID). We love feeding the elders breakfast. I think they like it too cause they rarely cancel.
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Saturday night, Nana and I stayed up and filled out applications for Summer Jobs for her: one for Princess Cruise Lines in Alaska, and the other for LDS Nannies. She requested an assignment on the East coast, as she has always wanted to go there. Danielle was a Nanny in Europe the year after graduating HS and it was a wonderful experience for her. And I am all about getting out of the house and exploring--so I encourage the kids to try something new! I'll let you know what happens with those two options.

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Sunday, our ward had a special combined RS & Priesthood meeting on becoming a Gospel-Sharing family.

Taylor and I were asked to participate. She shared her experience of coming in our home, feeling loved and feeling a "difference" there that she felt nowhere else. And how those feelings brought her to the decision to learn more about the LDS Church even when she was 14 and how our family has affected her life. It was all great. BTW, her father is asking the missionaries to come and teach him...in his words" Against my better judgement, I feel I should learn more." SO there's hope there for him too. How cool is that?
And at that meeting, I just tried to say all I could in as short amount of time/words how we feel sharing the gospel is a natural consequence of our friendships.
I can't recall anything else I said. I just hate that. Mr. W assures me I was coherent and didn't ramble on...which is what I stress about when I am asked to speak.

Anyway, Dani & Mr. Idaho came down from Lakewood last night to do laundry (why? I don't know. There are laundry facilities on their property.) and then all the kids sat around and colored until bedtime. Yes, ALL the kids...my kids love to color. Dani even brought her own markers--I am not kidding. It is "therapeutic" for her, she says. They stayed the night and left this morning.
The Steelers won the SB--but I didn't watch a second of it. I did make some twice baked potatoes and some lil smokies for everyone, but I found a book called the Nanny Diaries and read it through. It was well-written, but the main character cussed alot. That was distracting and I wish it had been left out, but it wasn't predictable and I liked that. I also read 2 other N. Sparks books last week..."Bend in the Road" and "At First Sight". ugh. No more Sparks for me, ever. Formula writing. Predictable. Easily forgotten.

So that was our weekend, in a nutshell. Oh, I also helped set-up for a wedding reception on Saturday with Nan and Kelly, and other gals from the ward. I wish I had taken pics of it too, I just forgot! Imagine that!
WHAT DID YOU DO OVER THE WEEKEND??

Mixed Nuts

More pics of the people who call me Momza...
Dara aka Daisie and Deano.

Dean aka the soft spot in my heart.

Diana aka Nana...and her fun Red homecoming shoes that she loves so much!

The newlyweds

they have too much fun!

Familial Friday

These are my peeps. From L to R top: My very wonderful DIL-Tisha aka Tenesha, David Scott, Mr. Wonderful, Me, Dani, Dean, Nana L to R front: Daisie, Boofus, and the Caboose.
*funny story: last night after dinner, I was leaning on the kitchen island, listening to Mr. Wonderful talk about his day. The Boofus comes over and starts poking me with his pencil--without thinking, I did a back-kick in self-defense--not a forceful kick at all, just raised my foot behind me to block his poke--well, immediately he does a half-laugh-half-squeal and drops to the ground! "what happened?" "Aww mom you got me in the balls." "The what?" "The scientific word is nuts." "Where did you hear this language?" Mr. Wonderful and the Boofus both reply: "School." So he lay there writhing and laughing at the same time. I giggled too, I really had not taken aim or used any force, and the fact that he was laughing assured that he was not really injured. What a kid. ugh. Dontcha love school? Should I call his Science Teacher?
"Is this what you're teaching 3rd graders nowadays? What happened to bottle rockets and baking soda?"







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These were taken last May at the Boise River shoreline in Eagle, Idaho--which was approx. 2 miles from our home there. I love these kids. David Scott is hands-down the funniest person I have ever met. When he was a rotten teenager (a term of love in our house)--no matter how mad I would be at him, he could say one thing and make me laugh! SO I stood there, pointing at him, and said, "That's funny!-BUT you're still in trouble!"



And this of course, is an outtake from Dani & Mr. Idaho's engagements, taken at Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. She makes me laugh too. And Mr. Idaho's "Jim Halpert face" always makes me smile. On Mother's Day when I was alot younger (4 kids at the time), all I wanted for a "gift" was to be able to get myself dressed for church without interruptions. That and to have everyone else dress themselves. Well, ha! that didn't happen: all the kids were fussin' and feudin', some couldn't find their shoes, there was weepin' and wailin' and gnashin' of teeth goin on! I stepped down the hall into the front livingroom, and pointed to all of them:" All I've ever wanted was to be a Wife and Mother!--AND YOU PEOPLE ARE RUINING THIS EXPERIENCE!" lol Of course, I had to laugh as soon as the words came out of my mouth--so ridiculous. Hey, being a Mom is alot of work. But so far, in my life, it's all been worth it.

I have alot to be thankful for...my kids are healthy and happy. Kent has a job in an economy that is struggling. Everyone does their best for the most part. That gives me peace and joy.

I have to remember this b/c tomorrow is Saturday and it gets way crazy around here on Saturdays: breakfast with the elders, piano lessons, messy kitchen, kids running in and out, late nights, and early Sunday mornings.

I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed. Ahhhh...okay Saturday, Bring it on!

Sense and Sensability

I found this and had to post it. My all time fav movie... If you haven't seen it, GO get it today! Just go!

Forgiving Ourselves ~Ch.1~

FORGIVING OURSELVES by Wendy Ulrich

Introduction:
The Story of the Widow's Son (1 Kings 17) I have had many moments in my own life, not recently, but still, where I wondered if I have been forgiven of the weak choices I have made--asking the question, Is the Atonement for ME? I can see Christ's Atonement covering everyone else's sins, generally, but MINE...well, I should have known better, I made a selfish choice, I knew better...maybe I don't deserve His forgiveness. At least not right now. Not today. Not until I have suffered enough to deserve it."

The passages that spoke to my heart:
*"We can learn to more grace-fully adapt to life in the schism between our celestial ideals and our earthly limitations." (Thank you...I need to remember that principal and not be unrealistic about my limitations.)
* "As we learn by our own experience that God tells us the truth and that competing versions of reality will fail us in the end, we come to profoundly trust him." (I have had alot of experiences that tell me that He is indeed my Father, and knows what will truly bring me joy.)

* "We accept that regret and sorrow over our sins and errors are part of the price we pay to participate in that plan." ( The law of Free Agency is my gift.)

ALMA THE YOUNGER (Alma 36):

*of note:*"A harrow is a farming instrument for turning over the soil, breaking it up and tearing it open so something new can grow there." ( I never knew that...it sounds hopeful!)

*"What can deliver people from the pain of seeing the harm they have done? Only the hope that it can be repaired. Christ can save not only [Alma] but also all those he has hurt."(that's the kind of sin that burdens us most...when it affects others.)

*"There is a time for harrowing, but that time is before, not after the tender seeds of faith and repentance have begun to sprout. We need not continue to harrow ourselves after we have changed our mind, heart, and behaviour and glimpsed God's grace." (Thank you.)

*"Sometimes we also long for that chosen status out of fear that we cannot really be loved by God unless we too are flawless." [like Jesus Christ] In contrast, the Savior humbly offers to share with us all that He has. He acknowledges that we too have a difficult path to walk in mortality. He did His job so we could do ours."(Learning and doing my part.)

*"Self-forgiveness requires a mature understanding of the purpose of life, which is not to get back to God in the same state of innocence and purity we were in when we left Him. Rather our charge here is to learn the compassion, humility, discipline, and understanding of good and evil that come only with experience and risk, failure and resilience. Our charge is to get back to God much, much wiser and better than when we left Him, something we can accomplish only through travelling the bruising, bloodying roads of mortal temptaion, affliction, and periodic failure as well as the roads of triumph, satisfaction and ultimate joy."(This helps me to not only see my role differently as a daughter, but also as a wife and mother.)

*"We are not here to be quiet, but to learn to make the beautiful music of endless creativity and life."( I LOVE this...it speaks to my soul and gives me permission to live life outloud!)

*"Christ is the Great Redeemer --not the Great Preventor." (Again, I can trust in the Atonement.)

IN this first Chapter, our basic beliefs are sorted out...fact and fiction...and the peeling away of fictitious thoughts/beliefs was freeing for me. For my heart. And by doing so, helps me to see others in a different light as well.

SO my Book Club sisters, PLEASE share all of your thoughts and the passages that touched your heart! And if there's another way to do this better, speak up!

It Passes All My Understanding...

Cherie Call...love the message.