This is one of "those days"

Ashes to Ashes

So I'm thinking about Death.
N' what I'm thinkin about is not the "dying" part
but the actual
burial part...
It seems there's something to say about it
and everyone has an opinion on it;
so I'm tossing my hat into the ring of discussion
and seeing what bites back.

I am not one who enjoys graveyards--
I have only been to them for specific causes,
namely someone being buried there,
just a few times in my life,
and once to dedicate the graves of Kent's family members.

After that,
I just don't see the point.
But then,
noone close to me has died,
so maybe I'll feel different
once that happens.
I don't know.
But seriously,
I can't see myself going to visit a grave
of a loved one.
And I certainly don't want my family to spend money on a
huge wooden box
and a plot of earth.
I'd rather them spend that money on
something that celebrates my life--
like a huge Pie Party and foot massages!

To me,
once the spirit leaves the body,
the spirit is free to go wherever
it wants...
while the body is in the ground
in a hometown graveyard,
the spirit can go to, say,
Italy
or
Holland
or
on a Disney cruise
if they want...
and not have to pay for extra baggage.

I want to be cremated
and have my ashes spread over a little place
our family loves
in Garden of the Gods.
When I told my kids of this plan
years ago,
one of them said they liked the idea of
having a place to go to
to "visit" with me...like a cemetery.
I told them
that most likely
I'd be hanging out in their kitchen
and they could just "visit" with me
right there.
They don't have to put on shoes
or grab a jacket, even.
Just stand at the sink and do dishes,
cut up an apple,
fry an egg,
mop the floor--
I'd just hang out and listen to them
right there.

I might hang out in the bathroom
while they wash their kids' hair
or
come visit them
while they're doing laundry
or paying bills.
I'll probably sit next to them
at Church on Sundays,
and talk to their babies.

Maybe I'll sit in the car
with them
while they're on the way to the Temple
and we'll go in
together...
or I'll just wait inside for them
in the Celestial room..
then put my arms around their necks,
and whisper in their ears how much I love them.

No, they don't need to go to a patch of earth
to feel me
or hear me...
I'm their Mother,
I'll come to them.

Where else would I go?

Loathing is so much fun!

Connie over at SHADY CREEK LANE custom-made this for me.
Isn't it awesome?
It's one of many inside family jokes in our home...the kids are gonna love. it.

Thank you Connie!

Red Balloon Moment

Have you ever had an experience
that was so unique,
yet so odd
that you wondered if it was
meant just for your eyes?

One morning, last winter
I was driving the youngest yahoos
to school.
It had snowed the night before
and the roads were covered with
fresh-fallen fluffy white snow.

But I was cranky that morning
with Mr Wonderful.
I can't even remember what I was
cranky about,
but I was grumpy and careless about my words,
and tho
I try to never
speak poorly about Mr W to the kids,
that morning
I forgot
and was venting.


I was in the middle of my "rant"
when
suddenly
outta nowhere
a red helium balloon
floated down from the sky
and drifted
right
smack
dab
in front
of my
car
and
stopped.

The stark red balloon
contrasting
against the
fresh white snow
had my full attention.
I  brought the car to a complete halt
with that red balloon
dangling in front of us...
just inches from my bumper,
and I knew.


Then,
a gentle wind
stirred up
and carried that
balloon back up
into the sky
and over the houses
out of sight.

The hymn, "Yay Speak No Ill"
came into mind.

I continued on our daily trip to school,
and just before the kids got out of the car,
I apologized.

It was months later before
I embarassingly told my Mr W
about it...
he smiled and said
"at least it wasn't a hammer!"




Have you ever had an experience like that?

What Makes My Marriage Stronger?

I'm no authority on marriage.  But Cocoa over at Chocolate on the Cranium challenged her readers to list 3 things that make our marriage strong.

So here I go:

1. R.E.S.P.E.C.T.  That is the foundation for my relationship with Mr Wonderful.
I value his person. I value his heart. His stuff. His weaknesses and strengths. When I married him, I did not look at him and think, "I can change him."  as I know many spouses do.  I accept him for all that he is, and together we have grown and improved ourselves.

2. Common Goals.  We want a happy, thriving, loving family. Our daily acts reflect that.  Whatever we do or do not do, benefits our family.  There's no room for selfishness in a marriage.  That's not that we don't each have personal goals or hobbies, but those things also fall in line with our goals.

3. Christ is in the Center of our Family. It is only with Him that we can be successful at all. The words I use to talk to my family reflect how I'm doing...I try to speak with love and kindness.  I am not perfect in that, but I'm getting better. 


To find about more about WHY I feel this way, go The Proclamation of the Family.

What about YOU?  What's essential in your marital bliss? 

p.s. and TRUST.  
p.p.s. and HUMOR
p.p.p.s. and Take-Out.

Birth Story!

Go right here.  Or click on COLORADO HOME BIRTH STORIES right over there~>

Today

I'm being featured over HERE.

Happy Yummy National Pie Day!

 I am delighted that today is National Pie Day!
When I die,
my family knows that there
will not be sliced ham
and funeral potatoes!
No!
They will have PIE!
All kinds of pie!


And this is one fo my favorite songs
about pie,
from the movie,
Michael.

Let the whipped cream flow!

Back! By Poplier Demand!

More Affirmations for Cynics---

Today I will see the bad in everything so as not to get my hopes up.

Today I will equate material possesions with love.

I have the right to belong nowhere.

Today I will question my own authority.

Tonight, by moonlight, I will rake my leaves into my neighbor's yard.

The next time I want attention, I will intentionally

load my grocery cart with unpriced items that are on special.

Pessimism is the only practical, realistic way to look at life.

I am not responsible and should never be treated as such.

Today I will pick out one physcial flaw in everyone I see.

I have a right to financially and emotionally suck my parents dry.

Today I will act on a paranoid thought.

Today I will practice looking forlorn.

  and one more:

I accept that I am a humorless wretch.

I feel so much better now, don't you?

p.s. yes I know "popular' is mis-spelled.

Home Birth Story

Had another birth last night! Go to Colorado Homebirth Stories to read it!
See the button over there??  Yep, just click on that and look for Christopher Robin and Pooh.

DINNER!!!!

Did you know that families who sit down

 for at least one meal a day together

are happier?

It's true.

Columbia University did a huge study

and this is what they found:

In a home where families ate dinner together

at least 5 times a week:

Teens had better grades.

42% were less likely to drink alcohol

59% were less likely to smoke

66% were less likely to try marijuana

Those are impressive statistics, right?

We are a family that sits down together

for evening meals.

It does make a difference in our relationships

with one another.

Recently, Mr W took a new position at work.

He has missed dinner 4 of 7 nights a week

for the past two weeks.

And I noticed a difference--

I'm crankier,

the kids are crankier,

Mr W is, well, crankier.

The bottom line is

we miss it.

Tha'ts what made me think about this topic

"family meal time"--

I've been wondering what's been going on

with me and my yahoos,

thought it might be the missing meals

so I looked into it...

and there's something to this,

I am convinced.

Having dinner together provides

 a time to teach values,

to keep in touch

with each other's schedules,

interests,

or

trouble-shooting problems

together so we can teach the kids

how to have discussions, form opinions,

and to work together as a group

rather than an individual.

It's a time to build and re-build.

Harvard University also did a study

on Dinner Time

and one thing they found was that

33% Girls are less likely to develop

unhealthy eating habits from skipping meals

to anorexia or abusing diet pills.

Harvard also found that teens look forward

to that meal time at the end of the day.

Did you see that?

They look forward to it.

I asked my kids if this was true,

and the answer was "yes"--

as long as meal time wasn't

a "Chew-out" time.

So we gotta keep it positive.

The blame for scattered family meals

is laid on TIME.

There's activities afterschool/work planned,

but even then,

you can plan to have meals together

whether it's ordered-in

(almost every restaurant has a take-out menu)

or just pushed back to 7pm

or just for 20 minutes--

it's important to eat together.

So whether Mr. W is here or not,
I have to make sure
dinner time is not
"hit-or-miss" time.
And yes, it's not the same
without our Dad at the head of the table,
but until his schedule changes,
it is what it is
and the kids and I need dinner time
to look forward to
every night.

~~~

What should you talk about?

We ask two questions of everyone at the table

every night--

even our dinner guests get to answer them:

1) What was the best part of your day?

2) What did you do for someone else today?

Other Questions Could be:

Ask everyone to share their favorite part or biggest challenge of the day.

Plan and then let the kids pick tasks for the next day's menu, preparation, and cleanup.

Exchange memories about your favorite family pastimes.

Discuss an activity the family can do together and then put it on the calendar.

Talk with your children about a book they are reading or a movie they have seen. It might turn into a family book club or a regular movie and popcorn night!

Ask the kids about their classes, homework, teachers, and upcoming assignments. Find out if they would like your help or want to brainstorm on an assignment.

So, let the shout go out:

DINNER TIME!!

Affirmations for Cynics

Mr Wonderful can be facetious

curmudgeonly

and at times,

cynical.

I bought this book for him:

It rebels against pop-psychology,

says therapists aren't worth what they cost,

and advises the reader to embrace the energies

of anger, revenge, remorse,

and letting self-pity fill your soul.

This

is a

funny 

book.

And I quote some "affirmations":

Today I will create a crisis situation so I can really feel alive.

Extreme mood swings are my goal for the day, as they are so invigorating.

Today I will surround myself with unhealthy people so that I may feel superior to them.

Today I will lie in bed and wallow in self-pity.

Today I will practice playing the victim with my friends and co-workers.

I have the hardest life.

Today I will provoke a loved one's anger just to assure myself that I still have an effect on him or her.

I have a right to be dysfunctional.

Today I will practice  keeping secrets from loved ones.

Today I will buy high-watt light bulbs for my bathroom

so I can better obsess over my wrinkles.

Today I will consciously repeat a destructive pattern from my past.

Today I will make my significant other mind-read my feelings.

I acknowledge that winter's darkness traps me in my house.

I will ignore my needs today.

and to end on a happy note:

I accept that others control my happiness.

TA-DA!

Now think about this...are you guilty of any of these?

I am guilty as charged, but I can be better~!

Another Baby Delivered Safely at Home~

G'head...skip over to Colorado Homebirth Stories....the button on the right.  Yeah, that's it.

Spring Cleaning Ninja-Style

I love to purge.
The less "stuff " I am responsible for, the bettah.

We've been in this house for two years.
There are boxes that haven't been touched
in those 2 years...
until this week.

I made a list.
I'm checkin it twice,
those boxes are on it.

Heads will roll,
toys will fly...
the Garage--my evil nemesis-thorn-in-my-side-dark-hole-of-misfit-toys-and-unwanted-
unused-thingamabobs
WILL BE CLEANED OUT.

My Ninja-skills will be exercised this week
as I clean/ pack/ haul the unwanted items
to Goodwill--
and I dare anyone in this house
to even name a single thing I've removed.
Dare them.
Mr W will notice the new "space"--
but he won't be able to name a thing that's gone.
I always tell him:
"Tell me what's missing, and I'll buy you a new one."
It's been like this for 11 years now.
Same thing for the kids...
Name it, and I'll replace it.

I love clean spaces.
Empty spaces.
I don't like stuff covering every flat surface
or every open wall space.

I used to let the kids go thru their stuff with me.
Big Mistake.
Don't do that.
It'll take you twice as long
and the results won't be nearly as satisfying!
"What?", they say, "we can't get rid of that! I loved that 2 years ago!"
Shoot me now.

No, purging is good for a closet
a drawer
a toy box
and book shelf.
It's good for a basement and a garage too.
Most of all,
it's good for this Ninja-Momza.

Being Willing = Being Blessed

Earlier this week, a member of our Bishopric called.
Said he wanted to meet with me
a little before Church Sunday.
Was I willing to meet with him? he asked.
My first question was,
"Am I being released?"
Released in the LDS faith means that whatever calling (job)
you currently serve in (for free)
you are no longer going to be asked to serve in.
I had two callings (jobs) already:
Stake Singles Representative
and
Relief Society (women's auxillary) Birthday Girl!--I pass out candy to the women whose bdays are that week.  A very undemanding calling.
Well, it wasn't to be released from either of those,
but to extend another calling to me.
I asked if he couldn't just tell me over the phone
and save us both time.
Nope, he said.  Which would've been HIGHLY unusual if he did.
He did say, "Oh this is a great calling though."

Great calling?
Is there such a one?
My fav calling has been serving in the Temple--
no meetings, no budget, no personalities.
We did that for 2 years in Denver and loved LOVED it!
But that's not a calling extended by a member of your Bishopric...
so left alone with my thoughts,
I pondered what would be a "GREAT CALLING"
in the ward?

Hmmmm...
I've done nearly everything a woman can do in the Church--
Primary...check
YW...check
Library...check
Scouts....check
Missionary...check
Sunday School...check
Relief Society...check check check.
Any of them great?  YES.
Any of them I would want to do again?  Yes.
Some I wouldn't?  Oh yeah.
Any I would decline?  No.
I would accept whatever was asked of me.

So we went a little early
and waited to meet with Bro. M.
As he extends the call to me to be
the Activity Girls' Assistant,
working with my own 8 year old and
41 other young girls ages 8-11,
I smiled.
I've had this one before too
and I enjoyed it.
It's been 10 years ago tho, so it'll be fun.
The Caboose will be thrilled, I thought.

So Bro M. presents my name for sustaining
and noone else apparently wanted the calling,
because the vote was unanimously YES.
Whew!
I'm just kidding. It was yes, but I have no idea if anyone would've opposed it.

SOOO are ya still with me?  There is a point to this, I promise!

Sooo, I'm sitting in Sacrament
thinking about this calling
wondering "why me? why now?"--
not in a sad way,
but in a reflective way--
And then a feeling comes over me with the thought:
This new calling will result in a tangible blessing for my family.
And the details are there,
but I am not ready to share them yet.
But I will when it's time.

I find it interesting that when I am willing to serve
where I am needed,
Heavenly Father sends me opportunities
I would not have otherwise.

I was featured...

If you follow me, then you've read this...if you haven't, here you go:
A bit of inspiration....

Enjoy!

Kelsie's Story

Go. Read. Now.
Kelsie's Story

Haiti

There are people who are blogging out of Haiti.  They're in the middle of the countries' most devastating tragedy and they're writing about it, taking pictures of it, sharing all they have...
Go over to Eternal Lizdom and click on her side bar to read their stories.  Take a tissue box.

Many thanks to Liz for compiling these for us...it made a difference to me.

Look Ma! It's the Q-tip Monster!

Q-Tip Fail

He's married and has a job now.

Getting to Know Me

Born 1960's...Oldest of 5 kids. Only daughter.
I loved Grape Nehi's and maryjane candies.
Roller skating, hopscotch, Barbies (which were a new toy back then),
and music was my thing.
Shy as could possibly be.
I remember that dress...my Mom's brother bought it for me,
it was the same color as my eyes, my mom said.

This was First Grade.
I used to squint my eyes in the mirror
and wonder what I would look like
all grown up
in the sixth grade.

Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie,
Romper Room were favorites.
We got 3 TV channels.
Three.
I had Mrs. McGreavy for a teacher.
A gray-haired screaming mimi that scared me to death.

When I played Barbies with my Cuban neighbor friend,
Sonya,
I used to name my Barbie, "Sylvia" because it sounded like
Silver...and I liked shiny things.

My mom used to fix my hair like that all the time.
Looked like a waterfall poouring down my head.
And that was before the days of curling irons.
So my hair was naturally curly,
altho I do recall my mom used to dampen it
so she could shape it a little with her fingers.

I thought my mom was beautiful.

Sushi Night!!

Doesn't that just look so darn good?

We are a sushi-lovin' family!

I even gave a try at homemade egg drop soup.

Sushi is better when you invite friends to share it.

One perfect little California roll...yum.

Teaching our guest to roll his own...sushi, that is.

Pretty good, right??

Slicing it to perfect bite size peices!

The missionaries heard about it, and came over later!

That's Elder Garrison from North Carolina and

Elder Mackley from western NY.

That's our sacred sushi book. It is the holy grail for our sushi appetites. If you want the recipe, ask. I'll be glad to send it to you!

Miscarriage

On Monday, the Mormon Mommy Blogs featured a post I wrote, "Miscarriage".

I wrote that entire post in about 15 minutes and it came so easily because of a phone call I received earlier in the day from a sister-blogger, RS-- whose own daughter had just experienced a miscarriage.  We talked about our own experiences briefly and after I hung up the phone, I continued to think about our conversation.
So I wrote it all down.  Then the thought came to me to just submit it to MMB--maybe it was relevant to others?
I have been a bit surprised by the response to that post.  It is relevant to many women--either to themselves or to the women in their circles. 
It also speaks to women with infertility issues and their families. 

In sharing my own experience, I have gained a deeper appreciation for the depth of this topic.  This reality to so many women.  So I express my heartfelt gratitude to everyone for sharing their tenderest thoughts and feelings so openly.  We need the conversation to continue, so that no woman is left alone in her grief.

How can this be done?  I don't know, maybe we can think of something collectively and come up with an idea or two.  In any case, keep the conversation Open. We need each other...just as we share recipes, and sewing tips, and couponing...sharing our burdens is needful too.

Thanks so much.

A Grateful Heart has no Room for Want

The economy is in the dumps right now.
That's not news anymore,
is it?
Nope.

Maybe you've heard
people say,
"When the Recession is Over...
blah blah blah
things are going to be
back to normal."

Maybe you're one of those
hopeful folks
that are looking up
instead of down?

Well, here's the thing:
I've been putting off
things
waiting for the right
time
to do what
I want to do.
In the moment.


Until this past Sunday.
Then Courage
found a way to my
heart
and I said deep within,
"Self:
No more waiting.
Stop holding your breath
waiting for the
Winning Lotto Numbers
to come to you
in a dream.
Or some magic Genie
to wave a wand
and give you 3 wishes,
step up and do what is good for you, Self."

And then
the thought came to me
"What if This is as Good as it Gets?"

This line of thinking
has helped me
be more positive
actually
and more grateful.
The way things are going,
these days
could end up being
the good ol days.

Stress clouds creative thinking
boggles down
the soul
with tethers to dark places
where everything seems to
move in slow motion.

Hopeful thinking releases
those good endorphins
that stir creativity
and gladden the heart
with shiny-ness.

I have my own little
thought:
"A grateful heart leaves no room for want."
A grateful heart
is full and generous,
in the moment.

And the truth is,
if I have what I need
then what am I whining about?

Show me a woman who has
everything
and I'll show you a woman
who is still wanting.

And my life IS full
of good stuff...

* my family rocks*

My kids are making
good choices
even when they're at their
most rottenest selves,
they're still really good kids
and while our joke is
"Loathe is Spoken Here"
we all truly love each other.

My husband still whispers
sweet nothings
in my ear--
and cracks jokes that makes me
blow juice thru my nose!--
and I love him for it!

So this is my Life--
who am I to not
Shine?


What are you grateful for right.this.second???
 
P.S. if you do happen to know the winning lotto numbers, lemme know, k?

Woe is me, it's Monday

Today is the kinda Monday that gives Mondays a bad name.

The youngest yahoos woke in terrible, awful, no-good, very bad moods.

What was said by the child.  What I said in return.  What I was thinking.

"My stomach hurts. (Here's a drink of water.) Oh crap, this is gonna be a long morning.

My head hurts. (Let's get some food in you.) Another excuse or is she really sick? We still haven't had H1N1 around here. But, it's Monday. Don't let her see you're concerned, to give her more ammo in case she's just faking it.

I can't find my shoes. (Did you look in the shoes basket?) I am not looking for her shoes again, she can wear her Sunday shoes if necessary.

I don't like these pants, they're gray! (You picked those pants!) An emotional dresser! Put on the pants!

I'm not hungry.(Food is fuel, you need it to learn.) How does he survive?  Every meal, he doesn't want to eat! I'm gaining weight by the minute and he could be carried off by a stiff wind!

I don't want eggs. We always have eggs. Why do we always have eggs? (Well what else would you like?) How many mothers do I know cook breakfast? He has no idea how lucky he is!

How come you don't buy anything good? ( I don't buy junk food cuz it's junk.) And if I buy junk food, it's inhaled by everyone!

My teacher is mean. He gives us a million papers to do! There's a stupid test coming up
and we have to study for it. I hate tests. " (Would you like me to write Mr. Newell a letter and tell him this stresses you out, and see what he says?) My trump card.  Mwahahaha!

I hate school. I'm no good at Math. I have no friends.  (Yea! It's Monday, and you'll get to see all of your friends, and your teachers and it's a beautiful morning! Have a good day, my loves!)  It's 8:30, they've got 9 minutes before the bus comes. And I've got 8 hours of bliss. I love school.

What's Your Sign?

I like the philosophy of astrology--
but not in a
"gotta-read-it-every-day-before-I step-outside" kinda way...
just the general description of the varied Zodiac personalities.

I'm a Scorpio..."fiercely loyal, extremely passionate, brutally honest."--
that's what I read about myself when I was a teenager.
The longer I live
the more I think it's a true description of me.

Wednesday night,
Nana and I were walking thru Barnes and Noble
verrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyy sloooooooooowwwwwwwwwwllllllllyyy
and we came across a book called
"The Day You Were Born".
I picked it up, found my birthday
and read outloud to Nana what it said
about moi.
It was 99.9% spot on.
She immediately said,
"That is so you! It's freaky! Read Mine!"

So we turned to her birthday page
and read it aloud too...
another AH-HA moment!

Being the inquisitive jugheads we are,
we bought the book...
we wanted to further investigate every person
we now know and have known
so we could have more AH-HA moments!

The more we read,
we felt like Secret Agents
or
 Treasure Hunters...
kinda like spying on our subjects
and figuring them out
just by reading the formulas in the book.

We had a housefull today
and there sat my girls in the middle of the family room floor
pouring over the book,
with their girlfriends
as they tried to recall boys' they've known
birthdays.

If only it were that easy.

What do YOU think?  Something or Nothing to it?

NightLife as a Midwife

It's almost midnight.
I should be asleep.
There are babies due any minute
that I will have to drop everything
and run-off into the night to meet.

And I shouldn't be up
right now.
I should be counting sheep.
But I fell asleep watching TV at eight
and now I sit here awake.

This stinks on ice.

Scenes from a Life

After near-death experiences,
people often say,
"My life flashed before my eyes."

Hmmm.
I've been thinking about that.
Not that I'm plannin' on dyin' anytime soon
but what if we could PICK the scenes
we wanted to see and review again?

What would we wanna see?

My thinker started thinking
and in no particular order,
my chosen "flashes" would include,
but not be limited to (I have to add that part bc my memory stinks on ice and there are quite probably wonderful moments I have forgotten that I would LOVE to see again!)
a few of my favorites.
So here we go:

I want to relive:

Walking up the steps to see my Great-Granma Fanny
from Britain. Sitting on her lap and listening to her music box.
I remember her black lace up shoes and her white hair.
I've forgotten her voice, so that'd be nice to hear it again.

Sleeping on the shore in Miami Beach.  My folks would take us there
often, and we'd have white bread and baloney sandwiches--with actual sand--
and we'd stay all day--long enough to take naps on the beach under the tiki huts.
I can still hear the ocean waves in my head and feel the warm sun on my body, when I think about it long enough.
I'd like to see that again.





Christmas morning when I was 10...my father surprised my mother with a red velvet dress. She was so happy she cried.  And it was a beautiful dress...I ran my fingers over the silver embellishments and diamond-like rhinestones.  I'd never seen my mom so happy she cried.

April 20, 1978.  The first time I prayed and got an answer from heaven right in the moment.  I'd love to see that again.  Radiating warmth, head to toe.  That was a sweet moment I never want to forget because it changed my life.

November 4th, 1978.  My baptism. The missionaries, the friends, the water, the Spirit.  All of it.

The day I became a Mother.  Oh that was touching heaven itself.  I could've run a mile after the birth, I was on such a euphoric high!  I want to smell his baby neck all over again.  I'd like to see from the outside what I really looked like--all of 20 years old and a new Mother.

April 1986. Dr. Raun Melmud's office. The day I sat in his office, holding my little Dean, and the doctor revealed his diagnosis of "Cerebral palsy".  I heard the words and instantly melted into Dean's beauitiful blue eyes for relief.  Surely, angels were at my side in that moment.  I'd like to see them.

I'd like to flash on my early years as a Mother of young children.  SO many of those days have faded as they were lived: busy and fatigued.  But I laughed so much too.  I'd love to re-visit those days in tiny apartments and tupperware cups and plates.

My first time to the Temple--in Mesa.  Oh, I loved that day.  Those sweet tender feelings and new understanding.  That would be a grand flash, if I could.

The first time I met Kent.  Oh, I'd like to flash on that scene about two dozen times! Just for the laughs alone would be fun!

Helping Dani & David Scott get ready for Proms and Homecomings would be fun too.  Looking for Dean in the neighborhood by listening for the sound of the leaf-blower.
Hanging out in Wales with Kent and the kids...or walking up to the Castle in Edinburgh and sitting on the top court looking out on the Firth of Fourth, while three-year Dara slept on my lap,  her blonde hair blew in sunny seaside air.

Ahhh so many treasured gifts in my journey.  I have a long list of "do-overs" and "flashes"...

The truth is, I don't know if I will have one of those "Life-flashing-before-my-eyes"
experiences.  Guess I should be grateful I have so many scenes from my life, that I'd want to see them a couple more times, right?

How about you?  Are there scenes you'd like see again?

Layers and Seasons

Last time I looked, it was 10o outside.
Ten.
It is BRRRR-freaking-cold
here on this side of the Rockies.
To keep protected and warm,
we dress in layers:
thermal underwear,
long-sleeved shirt,
fleece coat,
then an outer shell.

Those layers hold the warmth
of our own bodies inside
and make it bearable to go outside
and do whatever it is
we gotta do,
and do it comfortably.

The older I get,
the more I realize
I need layers of a different kind:
I am a Wife to Mr. Wonderful,Momza to the Yahoos,
Sister, Friend, and all that...
but ALSO
I have layers too, that are outside
of those familial relationships.
Layers that add depth to my character
and add a protective padding to who I am
and the talents I have been sent here
to develop, refine and share for the benefit
of others,
which, truthfully,
benefits Me.
At the last birth I attended,
where the Momma thanked me
for being there--
well, I just soaked her kindness up
like rain into a parched Arizona desert.
My heart literally felt saturated and full
from the sincerity of her offerring
and added depth to my soul.
What a gift she gave me
by just expressing heartfelt gratitude
for my little service to her!


Another Layer for my own self.


Now, before you toss your designer apron in the trash
and run screaming outta the house
with your little ones wondering
"where's Mommy running to?"--
before you think about "finding yourself"--
hold on there.
Because I am in the Season of my life
where Layers
is a natural progression of things.
I am where I am
because of the earlier seasons in my life--
first I was a Wife,
and learned to accomodate another's needs
with my own,
then I became a Mother
and learned about Sacrifice
which came in the form of sleeplessness
and patience,
responsibility
compassion, hope and strength.
Being a Wife and Mother
was the training grounds,
or the First Layer
of character...
Deciding to be a Disciple of Christ
is at the core...
and without those two layers
the other layers
would have no foundation
or substance.

There IS a season to every thing
and a Purpose under heaven.
Just like the scriptures say,
and the older I get the more this is true.

What Layer you should be wearing
depends on which Season you are in...
but here's the thing:
You can't rush the Seasons.
NO matter how much I want it to be
Spring today,
It is still a January morning
and frost is on the ground.
There are moments of joy to be discovered
and relished in this Season.
Spring will come
 with it's rainy days and daffodils.
I can count on the innate Nature of the earth
to bring me another Spring.
It gives something to look forward to
on these winter days of sleeping trees
and snowflakes.
And in the heat of Summer
I'll have memories of my family snow-tubing
down white hills, the frosty ice kicking up
in my face
as we slide down those hills together.
It is a sweet season when you realize
you are where you're supposed to be,
doing what you're supposed to be doing
and not wishing you were somewhere else
doing something else.

Living in the Season
I find myself,
and adding layers
in their proper order
helps me create the woman
I want to be...
not a one dimensional shadow of Winter
but a full-on kalidescope of all the Seasons.

Okay, did that make any sense?

HomeBirth Stories = New Blog

Wanna just read about my adventures in
Home Births?

Now you can skip my real life musings
and head straight over there...

http://momzahomebirth.blogspot.com/

Driving Lessons

I'm teaching Diana how to drive this week.

Is That Your Mom?

So I get an email
from some guy who says:

"I work for a citizen journalism publication called Fresh Ink in Colorado Springs. I noticed you had photos from Old Colorado City. I'm curious, do you live in the Springs area? If so, I'd love to feature your writing/pictures in our paper and online: www.csfreshink.com."

Um. okay...is this fer reals? I was/AM amazed that Mormon Mommy Blogs is allowing me to play with them...but I'm a Mormon Mommy/Momza...so it's not that big of a stretch. You know, talking all things mormon and mommy-isms...that is a realistic venture for me.
Divine Caroline lets me say what I want because ...shoot, I have no idea why they do, yet they do? I should look into this...
But people in my community want me to play too?  This could be serious. I could mess up. Share too much irrelevant information.  Embarass my kids.
Wait.
Embarass my kids?
Why, I would never.

His Promises Are Sure OR St. Terry Ignatius Alaskus Polaroid

~For Terry~

A few years ago, Dani met a young Air Force guy in a college classroom
and for reasons only known to him, he followed her home.
We got to know him pretty well,
so we did what we love to do with all of the people we care about,
we started to share the Gospel with him...
had him kneel with us in family prayer
share in devotionals
meet the missionaries (yes, we've been lovin those missionaries forever!)--
in fact, he experience his first answered prayer during that time,
he shared with us.
It was just a real privilege to get to know him.

During this same time,
I had an experience wherein I saw
Mr. Wonderful standing in a baptismal font
with St. Terry Ignatius Alaskus Polaroid
both of them dressed in white,
Mr. W's hand raised to the square.
I interpreted that to mean that one day
Mr. W would baptize St. Terry I. A. Polaroid.

Well, for reasons only known between Dani & St. Terry I.A. Polaroid
things fizzled out;
we moved to Fort Collins
then onto Meridian-you-can't-swing-dead-cat-without-hittin-a-Mormon-Idaho
and Dani became Hermana Johnson in the New Jersey Cherry Hill Mission.
I kept in contact with St. Terry while she was gone.
The thoughts crossed my mind
that how on earth would that "vision" come to pass
if we didn't even see St. Terry
who by that time had moved from Colorado
to his hometown in Alaka??
What did that all mean?
Did I just imagine it?
Was I drinking too much Pepsi back then
and high on caffeine?
What was the deal, Neal?

So I kept in contact like I said
thru emails and such...
I used to have a wicked MYSPACE page
but deleted it because MYSPACE was too wicked
for my eyes to handle.
Anywho...
This past October I get an email from St. Terry
saying he's gonna be out our way later that month.
I was so surprised.
It had been at least 4 or 5 years since we'd last seen him.
So we invited him for dinner.
And
he came.

And we talked.
And I told him about my dream.
That he needed to look into the Church.
Read the Book of Mormon.
Pray about it.
And we've kept talking
texting
emailing
and
he's reading the BoM
and praying about it.
And guess what?
He's coming here at the end of the month
to visit us.
I hope he brings a white shirt.

How Many Takes does it Take to Get a Good Take of a Family of 12?

Many comments have been left about our new Family picture...and out of guilt and sense of duty, I present:

#1: Dara's eyes closed, Brad not smiling, Joseph's smile wonky.

#3Dara's eyes closed. Dean in mid-sentence.

#4Tisha? Brad. Dean. Dara.

#20Dara. Dean.

#22Outta focus. Joe.

#24 Telling Joe to smile!

#27Ari. Dean. Joseph. Kent.

#33 Joseph.

#35 Lighting. Joseph. Dean

We also took some different poses:

#82 Hunh?

#91 Word.

#94 Joseph looking like Laurel Hardy.

#105, Okay I LOVE this one. hehe

By the time it was all smiled and done, I think the photographer, Koren, had taken close to 135 pics of our mugs.  Some were just outta focus, but most of the outtakes were just because of ourselves...cracking up, eyes closed, wonky smiles or whatever.  So the favorites have been chosen from the lot and I couldn't be happier!
p.s. and there's a utility box behind Mr. W's head on the hill, and so we tried to keep that hidden with his head~! He did pretty good!